


The Pon Farr Hypothesis

by Zenkindoflove



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-20
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-08 03:49:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 113,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/438826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenkindoflove/pseuds/Zenkindoflove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shenny AU. Starting with the pilot. Sheldon thought a homo novus was immune to seduction and physical allure. But when a beautiful, mouthy neighbor elicits new sensations in him, Sheldon must discover a novel side of himself he never anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Big Bang Theory fanfiction. This concept is based on many fanon theories from the fandom – mainly centered around whether or not Penny and Sheldon had an attraction to each other in the pilot (which I definitely maintain that they did). This fic is going to be AU starting from the pilot to explore what could have happened. I'll be using S1 as a very rough guideline to get some things set into motion. Also, it's rated Mature for a reason.
> 
> Disclaimer – I do not own the characters of The Big Bang Theory or any situations that might resemble any that occurred in the show. I'm also a neurobiologist in training, so if I'm way off on my physics, I apologize ahead of time. This first chapter is basically the canon version of the pilot, with my own head canon ideas about internal dialogue and motivations thrown in. All of the dialogue is straight from the episode and doesn't belong to me.

Chapter 1

Sheldon and Leonard ascended the stairs of 2311 Los Robles, avoiding discussing their failed attempt to donate sperm at the high IQ bank. Sheldon filled the void with one of his many rambles about scientific inquiries. Today's topic: stairs. While Leonard tried in vain to ignore his genius roommate, as usual he was sucked into the lecture on his disbelief of Sheldon's conclusion. It didn't surprise him that Sheldon supported this claim by citing his own experiment performed on his father during early adolescence. Leonard briefly wondered how much destruction the earth would face if all boys spent puberty the way it seemed Sheldon spent his, instead of doing – well- what they went to the sperm bank to do.

Sheldon hated banal chit chat. But he found in his seven years of cohabitating with Leonard that silence made his roommate uncomfortable and twitchy. And he'd rather educate Leonard on the wonders of the physical world then have to deal with Leonard's tired attempts at making conversation. Sheldon had adapted a new set of behaviors living with Leonard, one of them being his tendency to dominate conversations. Sheldon figured if he had to listen to anyone speak, preferably, it would be himself. And since silence was no longer an option with Leonard, he developed an automatic response to jabber away to fill the void. This particular lecture was one of many he had preplanned that would only take the expanse of the trip from the second to the fourth floor.

As the young scientists reached their apartment, their eyes quickly noticed the strange scene of a new neighbor moving in across the hall. Both were captivated instantly by the blonde beauty, wearing denim shorts and a low cut blouse, unpacking in a sea of large boxes.

"New neighbor?" Leonard questioned.

"Evidently."

"Significant improvement over the old neighbor."

Sheldon gave Leonard an exasperated look, "A 200-lb transvestite with a skin condition? Yes, she is."

The blonde woman noticed their presence then and greeted them with a warm smile. "Oh, hi!"

Leonard felt the familiar hum of falling in love that he had experienced many times in his life at the sight of a beautiful girl. Sheldon, on the other hand, was experiencing an entirely new and unnerving sensation that his eidetic memory could not remember occurring in his history.

Her body was aesthetically pleasing. That was obvious to him, and it didn't take her confident exposure of tanned skin to come to that conclusion. But something about her beauty made him nervous, and he found himself reflexively looking down when her eyes found them standing in the hall. As Leonard exchanged greetings with her and he mimicked back, Sheldon couldn't stop his eyes trailing the curves and lines of her body. Her shape would now forever be imprinted in his brain, available for immediate recall whenever he saw fit. Not that Sheldon could think of a time he would need this information. He didn't take the effort to care to consider an individual's sexual appeal like it seemed the rest of humanity obsessed itself with. But something about this woman's presentation had him collecting data over and over and over…

Leonard stating they didn't live together pulled him out of the loop. He was puzzled as to why Leonard would lie to this woman about a fact that would be so clearly obvious to her.

"Oh, no, we don't live  _together_. I mean, we live together but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms."

Sheldon found himself relieved that Leonard thought to mention this to her. This grouping of himself with the rest of heterosexual males reminded Sheldon of his manners. He returned his eyes to his feet, making note that this aspect of chivalry was never something that he had troubled with before.

"Oh, well I guess I'm your new neighbor. Penny."

"Leonard."

"Sheldon."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hi."

An awkward silence fell over the group.

"Well, uh…" Leonard tried to think quickly on his feet. "Oh! Welcome to the building."

"Oh, thank you!" Penny cooed at him. "Maybe we can have coffee sometime."

"Great."

"Great."

"Great."

"Great…"

Another pointed silence indicated that the greeting had expired its appropriate length.

"Oh, well bye," Leonard quickly tried to save face.

"Bye!"

"Bye." Sheldon mimicked.

"Bye…" Leonard trailed off as Penny closed the door.

Sheldon found solace when their escape presented itself from this confusing conundrum. While he had always been a man who sought answers for the great mysteries of the world, this puzzle made his stomach feel ill, and in that moment, he committed himself to not think of the alarming reactions his new neighbor elicited in him. It was nothing that Battlestar Galactica commentary couldn't chase away.

But Leonard had other ideas. Of course.

"Should we have invited her to lunch?" Leonard asked as Sheldon fished out his keys.

"No, we're going to start Season 2 of Battlestar Galactica!"

"We already watched the Season 2 DVDs."

"Not with commentary."

Leonard continued with this idea as they entered the apartment. "I think we should be good neighbors. Invite her over. Make her feel welcome."

"We never invited Louis/Louise over," Sheldon countered.

"And that was wrong of us. We need to widen our circle."

"I have a very wide circle," he argued. "I have 210 friends on Myspace."

"Yeah, and you've never met any of them," Leonard rolled his eyes.

"That's the beauty of it."

Leonard was fed up with Sheldon's opposition. "I'm going to invite her over. We'll have a nice meal. And chat."

"Chat?" Sheldon yelped. He ran after Leonard. "But we don't chat! At least not offline."

Sheldon found himself frequently annoyed at Leonard's attempts to socialize with those who were to the left of themselves on the bell curve of intelligence. He already could see that Leonard was developing his predictable crush on the woman across the hall.

Penny Marshall smiled to herself as she replayed the strange encounter that just happened with her new neighbors. She was used to men like them responding to her in this way. She preferred their shy, boyish admiration to the aggressive advances of other men. Men like her ex-boyfriend – Kurt. Her heart sank at the thought of him…

Knocking interrupted the thought and she opened the door to reveal her squirmy neighbors.

"Hi, again."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hiii." She playfully added. She was kind of loving the awkwardness of these boys.

"We brought home Indian food," Leonard shoved a bag at her. "And I know that moving can be stressful. I find, when I'm undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative, so I don't need to tell you that a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about."

Sheldon shot Leonard a horrified expression. "Leonard, I might not be the expert here, but I think in the context of a luncheon invitation you might want to skip the references to bowel movements."

Penny had trouble keeping up with the fast pace of Sheldon's speech, but she caught "luncheon invitation" and went with it. "Oh, you're inviting me over to eat?"

"Yes," Leonard nodded.

"Oh, that's so nice. I would love to," She accepted their confusing offer to lunch because she really was hungry, and if she were honest with herself, she would rather not be alone right now.

"Well, make yourself at home," Leonard declared as they entered the apartment.

Standing close to him, Penny leaned over his shoulder making sure he understood her gratitude, "Okay, thank you."

Sheldon watched as Penny flirtatiously leaned into Leonard, and he felt a slow burn building in his chest. He watched his friend and roommate nervously respond to the blonde's proximity, and when Leonard turned his eyes to him, Sheldon mocked his awkward reply.

Penny was at a loss for words as she looked around the guys' apartment. Hard wood floors. A swank leather couch. And colorful figurines on shelves that added a sense of innocence to the mature order of the room. But her eyes didn't linger long as soon as she spotted the white board in the center of the room. Penny approached the board with strange scrawl across it that she only could guess was some kind of higher level math that she definitely was never taught in the Nebraska public school system.

"Wow, this looks like some serious stuff. Leonard, did you do this?"

"Actually, that's my work," Sheldon piped up and stalked over to the board. He rambled on about what all of the equations meant, but Penny just couldn't keep up. Her eyes kept dodging from the intimidating board to the man who would barely look at her before, but now was talking wildly with a twinkle in his eye. Penny smiled as she felt a tingle of excitement run through her at the novelty of meeting someone like this. He definitely wasn't like anyone she had ever met before.

"So you're like one of those beautiful mind-genius type guys?" She asked once he was done.

Sheldon was used to being recognized for his genius. People pointing out the obvious always felt… correct. But as his eyes swept over Penny's body again, with her hip cocked and her bright, green eyes shining up at him, the nervousness coursed through him once more, "Yeah."

Penny bit her lip at the adorableness of his reaction to her flirting. She was flirting, wasn't she? Yes, she was mystified a little at the strangeness of this situation, but she didn't anticipate an attraction to someone like this. Whatever, she'll just go with it. Before she could process her reaction, Leonard piped in, pulling her attention to his board.

"I have a board. If you like boards this is my board."

Sheldon could almost feel the proverbial rug being pulled out from under him as Leonard tried to steal the spotlight. So typical Leonard. Whenever a pretty female was around, he had to try and show off his intelligence.

"Holy smokes!" Penny walked over to Leonard's board, her face looking even more impressed than it had with Sheldon's.

Not wanting Penny to foolishly think that Leonard's work was somehow superior to his, he found himself shamelessly sparring with Leonard over the validity of each other's boards. Disinterested, Penny wandered to the couch and sat down, her stomach reminding her it had been a while since she had a decent meal.

Sheldon was taken aback as he noticed Penny perched in his spot. Oh, why did everyone always try to do this? He supposed it had to do with the fact that it was  _obvious_  it was the best seat in the apartment.

"Penny," he approached her hesitantly. "That's where I sit."

Penny grinned up at him, patting the spot next to her invitingly. "So, sit next to me."

Sheldon was momentarily stunned. His blood pressure rose at her suggestive tone (of what though, he wasn't sure). "No, I sit there."

Leonard groaned as Penny asked why Sheldon couldn't sit somewhere else. Penny listened carefully, trying her best to keep up with this strange, lanky man's style of speech as he described drafts in the apartment, ability to hold conversations, and something about his neck being distorted. Sheldon's eyes darted around the room as he spoke, not wanting to look directly at Penny who seemed to be a stickler for eye contact – which always made him uncomfortable.

"Do you want me to move?" Penny finally asked once it seemed he was done, concern lacing her sweet voice.

"Well…"

"Just sit somewhere else!" Leonard pleaded with his roommate, wanting this moment to just end before Penny officially wrote them both off.

Sheldon forced himself to swallow his pride and agreed to this insane idea. He gave Penny a shy smile that she returned encouragingly. He found himself searching. Why didn't he just tell this strange woman more forcefully to get up like he would anyone else? He wasn't accommodating. And he certainly  _never_ let anyone sit in his spot.

Penny watched in fascination as Sheldon attempted to find another seat. She couldn't understand why it was so hard for him, but was amused all the same. Who was this man? How could he go from one minute talking in some kind of strange, science language she couldn't understand, and the next being totally perplexed by something as simple as finding a seat? He eventually did end up just sitting next to her, but not until Leonard snapped at him again.

The conversation that followed was enlightening for Sheldon. Penny proved to be a totally unremarkable individual in every way. Her career, education status, subscription to hokum ideas like astrology, and emotional instability he typically associated with the opposite sex all contributed to his new notion that Penny was not a person he cared to have any other kind of relationship with that wasn't a distant but cordial neighborly arrangement. He was a bit baffled as to why he was shy and tip toeing around this woman. He didn't want to be rude, but he also couldn't piece together why he felt nervous around her, and even worse, why his eyes kept trailing her exposed skin. In fact, he was acting like Leonard, trying to appease and accommodate a woman based on carnal desires. Sheldon did a U-turn in his mind, wondering where in the world he suddenly even became a victim to such things. He was always so in control and hid that side of himself. He never struggled with it anymore. Not since he was a young teenager. His thoughts trailed to earlier at the sperm bank. Yes, the sperm bank. That must be it. His plans of masturbating to produce anonymous progeny must have stirred up some primitive desire that even  _homo novus_ was sensitive to.

As soon as Penny left the couch to have her dramatic moment, Sheldon reclaimed his rightful territory. A new excitement coursed through him as he fully embraced his explanation for the unnerving drives that seemed to have temporary control. No one would be the master to his psyche, not even bewitching blonde waitresses.

And then Leonard offered her their shower.

"Our shower works."

"Really? Would it be totally weird if I used it?" Penny asked.

"Yes." Sheldon stated immediately.

"Nooo," Leonard shot him a worried expression.

"No?"

"No."

"No," Sheldon directed to Penny, growing uncomfortable with the situation unfolding.

"It's right down the hall," Leonard pointed from his seat.

"Okay, thanks," Penny tucked her hair behind her ears. "You guys are really sweet."

Sheldon felt a tightness pull in his groin as Penny skipped away, his eyes lingering on her shorts wrapped around her long, muscular thighs. It was then that his rational, controlling mind somehow disconnected from his imagination and visions of a wet, soapy Penny invaded Sheldon's brain. Her tanned skin glistening from behind their periodic table shower curtain. Her hands trailing over those thighs, climbing higher and higher and …  _Oh, lord_ , Sheldon thought.  _This cannot be happening._

"Well this is an interesting development," Sheldon stood up in a hurry, frustrated, confused, and desperately needing some hydration. All of this was Leonard's fault. Why did he continue to insist on these feeble attempts at mating?

"How so?"

"It has been sometime since we've had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment," Sheldon clipped at Leonard, trying to erase Penny's naked form from his thoughts.

"That's not true!" Leonard walked over to the kitchen as well. "Remember at Thanksgiving when my grandmother with Alzheimer's had that episode?"

"Point taken. It has been sometime since we've had a woman take her clothes off which afterward we didn't want to rip our eyes out," he corrected.

"Yeah, the worst part was watching her try to carve that turkey."

"So, what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?" Sheldon popped the top off his soda.

"Excuse me?"

"That woman in there isn't going to have sex with you," Sheldon gestured towards their hallway.

"I'm not trying to have sex with her," Leonard unconvincingly exclaimed.

"Oh good, then you won't be disappointed."

A little hurt, Leonard needed to know what Sheldon meant. "What makes you think she wouldn't have sex with me? I'm a male and she's a female."

 _Oh here we go_ , Sheldon thought to himself.

"Yes, but not of the same species."

"I'm not going to engage in hypotheticals here. I'm just trying to be a good neighbor."

"Oh, of course!" Sheldon didn't buy it for a second. He had seen Leonard half-hazardly go down these paths before. Never willing to fully commit to an idea of pursuing a woman but pining none-the-less.

"That's not to say if a carnal relationship were to occur that I wouldn't participate. However briefly."

"Do you think this possibility will be helped or hindered when she discovers your Luke Skywalker No-More-Tears-Shampoo?"

"It's Darth Vader shampoo," Leonard clarified. A knock sounded at the door. "Luke Skywalker is the conditioner."

Sheldon felt relief for once at the appearance of Raj and Howard at their door. They had an early Steven Hawking lecture, and of course Leonard was trying to shoo them away. Sheldon teased him, outing that he had a "lady" over ( _since it was his idea in the first place_ , he stewed). After a round with Howard, doing what Sheldon would consider Howard's only expertise – anticipating coitus with eligible females – the subject of their discussion walked into the living room, covered only by one of their blue towels.

Sheldon quickly averted his eyes, looking down at his feet from the stool he sat on. He tried to concentrate on anything else. Reciting pi, alphabetizing all the Marvel superheroes, but definitely not noticing how short that towel was on her or her tan lines running across her clavicles. Sheldon reassured himself that his nervous tension was due to the taboo of seeing anyone in this state of undress in his apartment. And maybe his previous hypothesis. Fortunately, today was his weekly masturbatory session. That should solve his momentary lapse in suppression.

He didn't engage with Howard and Raj as they discussed the possibility (more like improbability) of Howard achieving coitus with Penny while Leonard helped her in the bathroom. He didn't know if he should find it comforting to see that every male he knew seemed to have a similar reaction to their new neighbor. On one hand, it normalized him with the rest of the male population and gave him a bit of relief at his moment of weakness, but on the other, he held himself in a superior light when it came to base primitive urges. He should not be having this problem at all. And certainly never hold a similarity to  _Howard Wolowitz_ , especially concerning this area.

Leonard returned from the bathroom, hands in pockets. "So…" he began, giving them a hopeful expression. "Anyone want to help me get Penny's TV?"

* * *

If there was ever a moment he regretted meeting and befriending Leonard Hofstadter, it was now.

Sheldon considered himself a loyal friend. Loyalty was an honorable quality in any man. It's why he went to retrieve Penny's television from her behemoth ex, even though he knew it was a terrible idea. It's what friends did for each other. However, at this point, Sheldon was really reconsidering whether loyalty was conditional in friendship as his naked thighs stuck to the seat of Leonard's car.

As they approached their apartment, Sheldon adopted a defeated attitude. It was obvious that Leonard's motivation for a relationship with this woman – in whatever capacity that would be – went above and beyond rationality. Fighting him would only strain their friendship. He could tell this Penny was going to be trouble in their lives, but he could always adopt a standoff attitude to the buxom blonde. She would only be a mere acquaintance in his eyes. Not a friend. He certainly never wanted to get to the point to be in her debt where pantsing would be involved again.

"Sheldon, I am so sorry I dragged you through this," Leonard apologized again as they climbed the stairs of their apartment.

"It's okay. It wasn't my first pantsing, and it won't be my last."

"And you were right about my motives. I was trying to establish a relationship with Penny that might have someday led to sex."

"Well, you got me out of my pants," Sheldon quipped.

"Anyways, I've learned my lesson. She's out of my league and I'm done with her. I've got my work and one day I'll win the Nobel Prize and die alone."

Sheldon was grateful to hear this sentiment from his friend. "Don't think like that. You won't die alone."

"Thank you, Sheldon, you're a good friend."

"And you're certainly not going to win a Nobel Prize."

They entered the apartment to find Howard showing Penny something on the computer. Sheldon folded his hands trying to hide his exposed underwear.

"We're home," Leonard announced.

Penny turned her eyes to the guys and her heart dropped at the sight of them standing in the apartment without any pants. "Oh… my god. What happened!"

"Well, your ex-boyfriend sends his regards, and I think the rest is self-explanatory," Leonard explained.

Guilt washed over Penny at their pitiful sight with their knobby, pale knees and matching striped socks. "I'm so sorry! I really thought that if you guys went instead of me he wouldn't be such an ass."

"No, it was a valid hypothesis," Leonard reassured her.

"That was a valid hypothesis?" Sheldon scoffed at his roommate's ridiculous statement. "What is happening to you?"

Penny ignored Sheldon's irritation, understanding why he would be so frustrated. She reached out to hug Leonard. "Really, thank you so much for going..." and then Sheldon, "and trying and uh, you're so terrific!"

Penny squeezed Sheldon extra tightly and grazed her hands across his middle as she pulled away. Sheldon tried moving his pelvis away from her sudden burst of affection on his person, but he felt a familiar twitch all the same.

"Why don't you put some clothes on, I'll get my purse, and dinner is on me," Penny offered.

"Really? Great," Leonard replied.

"Thank you," Sheldon looked back at her, feeling a conflicting sense of warmth at her hospitality.

Sheldon observed Leonard's moony gaze after their neighbor, drinking in her figure as she entered her own apartment.

"You're not done with her are you?" He knew the question was unnecessary. Leonard Hofstadter was falling in love, and Sheldon couldn't do anything to stop him.

Leonard raised his head in hopeful pride, "Our babies will be smart and beautiful."

"Not to mention imaginary."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I know last chapter was just a retelling of the pilot episode - this chapter is the start of my own original plot lines, starting with how dinner went that night. The story from here on out will be very much my own with references to future episodes and using some events in S1 to pull the story forward. But no more direct- word for word of the episodes. :P I must tell you, the dialogue is entirely my own this time.
> 
> Disclaimer/Warnings: I do not own the characters or situation that resemble the show. Note the rating.

Chapter 2

Penny Marshall was stuck between a rock and a hard place: a silent Raj who was too afraid to talk to her and finding her strength not to push Howard out of the moving vehicle. Penny first found Howard's charms to be innocent and maybe just a tad obnoxious. But after attempting to serenade her, asking her how she kept her "voluptuous" figure, and then explicitly stating that sushi wasn't the only fish he liked to eat (accompanied with a wink), Penny had dropped the smiling, polite act and resorted to glaring at the NASA engineer, a fact he was insistent on reminding her.

Fortunately Leonard picked up on how much Howard was making her uncomfortable.

"Howard, that's inappropriate. I'm sure Penny doesn't want to hear your poorly veiled innuendos," he gave her a sympathetic look in the rear view mirror.

"What innuendo?" Sheldon asked, generally perplexed at what else Howard could mean other than his enjoyment of seafood.

Penny smiled at Sheldon's innocence. So far, she definitely had to say out of the four she liked Leonard and Sheldon the most. Nothing against Raj. She imagined he was probably a sweetheart when he talked. Penny leaned forward and put her hand on Leonard's shoulder.

"Thank you, Leonard," she really wanted him to know that she appreciated him asserting, at least in some capacity, that she deserved respect.

Sheldon eyed Penny's hand on Leonard's shoulder and watched as his roommate blushed under her touch. He wondered if Penny had any idea of her power over his friend. He understood some women to be physical types, always invading people's spaces and having no concern of spreading their germs. But he also knew that some kind of line between friendly affection and flirtation existed, which he has never been able to gauge. He himself had experienced women invading his personal territory, and sometimes his friends would laugh and make fun of his obtuseness to their true intentions.

"I still don't understand why we can't go to Big Boy. It's Tuesday. We always go to Big Boy on Tuesday."

"Sheldon," Leonard's voice held a subtle warning. "Penny is taking us out, and it's her decision where we go. I'm sure she doesn't care for your schedule."

"Oh, it's really fine," Penny said. "I don't mind where we go."

"Do you really want to go to a greasy burger joint?" Leonard inquired.

"Well… I'm not really eating red-meat anymore, but I'm sure I can just find a salad or something."

"No, you shouldn't have to hold back just because Sheldon is in a mood. We'll get sushi."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at his friend. So this was how he was going to be. "I am not in 'a mood'. We always eat at Big Boy on Tuesdays. I have a strict schedule due to the sensitive nature of my gastric tract. You know this. I would react the same way if we were deviating from the schedule any other day of the week."

"Sheldon," Leonard asserted more sternly, alerting Sheldon that this was neither the time nor the place. "We're getting sushi."

Sheldon held his tongue and turned his gaze straight ahead at the bright city lights. Leonard did lose his patience with Sheldon on occasion, but he rarely ever took charge this way. He usually just knuckled under and gave into Sheldon's demands to put a quick end to Sheldon's whining. But Leonard didn't want Penny to see him pushed around, and Sheldon knew that was exactly what Leonard was up to.  _Penny, Penny_ ,  _Penny_ , Sheldon thought to himself.  _This just will not do. You're disrupting the natural order of things._

When they arrived at the sushi/karaoke bar, fortunately for everyone but Howard, the karaoke machine was out of order and apparently had been for some time.

"Oh no," Sheldon looked in terror at their table. "I just realized, we have five people. We can't eat with an odd number of people. Oh, this just won't do."

Penny narrowed her eyes at him, "What do you mean? The table is big enough for all of us."

Sheldon gave her an exasperated look and folded his hands behind his back in lecture mode, "I know that this may be difficult for you to understand, but the physical world runs on numbers. And an odd number of people eating at a rectangular table is an uneven balance for several reasons."

Penny could feel her ears blaze with embarrassment. Was he saying she was stupid?

Before Penny could say the biting comment she had for him, Leonard stepped in. "Sheldon, we've had to eat with odd numbers before. You can deal."

Sheldon's left eye twitched as he sat in his chair. "Very well. No Big Boy and I have to suffer through awkward seating arrangements and uneven displacement of food,"  _and unnecessary socialization with a woman who could wear a little more clothing_. "Looks like this day has just gone to phooey."

Penny raised her eyebrow at his choice of words. Earlier, he enamored her with his alien-like intelligence, and she initially found his particularities amusing. Now he was toeing the line on rudeness. She decided to push this away in hopes he would feel thoroughly bitched out soon.

As they scanned through their menus, Penny's stomach dropped. How was she going to pay for _her_  meal along with Leonard and Sheldon's? Especially with these prices? Maybe she really should have insisted they go to Big Boy.

When their waitress came to take their drink orders, she could tell that Sheldon pissing her off wouldn't end. At least not tonight. She was familiar with his type, working as a waitress for two years. He was demanding, condescending, and almost maliciously picky. She gave a sympathetic look to the waitress as she walked away, knowing very well what she was going through.

"Sheldon," Penny leaned forward. He was seated across from her. "Don't you think you could be a little nicer to the waitress?"

Sheldon gave Penny a perplexed look, "Nicer? How was I being rude?"

"Oh, here we go," Leonard mumbled next to her.

Penny strained a gentle smile at Sheldon, "Considering this woman is going to be handling your food, I just think it would be better if you spoke to her with a little more respect."

The boys at the table simultaneously exchanged worried glances.

Sheldon's face didn't alter, "I still don't understand what you mean. I'm only explaining to her the proper way to handle my drink order so that she doesn't contaminate it with whatever pathogens might be lingering in this establishment."

Penny bit her lip, seeing the faces of many patrons in her past who were exactly like Sheldon. Well, maybe not exactly, but close. "Well, I'm a waitress. So, you could say that this is sort of my 'expertise'," she used air-quotes. "And we often have to deal with people telling us how to do our jobs when we know what to do."

"But Penny," Sheldon continued to argue. "The whole reason I have a strict restaurant schedule is because of the incompetency I've had to deal with from people in the food service industry."

Leonard buried his face in his hands at that moment.  _This cannot be happening._

Penny gritted her teeth but was interrupted by the waitress returning with their drinks. As she asked for their food orders, it was the Sheldon shit-show all over again. He even had the audacity to request that the chefs wear gloves with his order. Penny hid her face in embarrassment and looked at the other guys. Their expressions showed discomfort but none of them seemed like they were going to speak up. Penny concluded that they were very used to this behavior from Sheldon. Well, she wasn't going to put up with it.

She comfortingly touched the waitress' arm, "Just bring him the Philadelphia roll the way you normally do things around here." Sheldon was stunned into silence at Penny's interruption and overriding his requests. The waitress nodded her head and left with a terrified expression.

Sheldon stared at Penny in horror, but quickly sat back in his chair, a sly, knowing grin forming on his face as he folded his arms. Penny held the eye contact, holding her chin up in defiance. The guys watched intently but tilted their bodies away as if an explosion could go off at any minute.

"Penny, Penny, Penny," Sheldon shook his head.

"What, what, what?" Penny mocked back.

Sheldon's mouth puckered. "I know you're new, and I can't really fault you for being unfamiliar with how things operate in this group, but you will soon learn. Though, judging by your education status it might take a while."

Penny held back her tongue on the last comment but charged forward. "And how do things go, Sheldon?" She gestured around the table. "Everyone else lets you tell them what to do or you throw a tantrum?"

She could practically see the steam coming out of Sheldon's ears, "I don't throw tantrums. I'm not a child. People just eventually see that the way I do things is simply logical."

"No, I think that people just eventually realize that you're a pain in the ass."

"Ooohhhh," Howard leaned in towards Sheldon. "You might want to ask for more ice because you just got BURNED!"

Sheldon and Penny held their glares. Sheldon was trying to think of some kind of comeback. When it came to arguments of the mind, he pummeled his opponents. But this kind of standoff he just wasn't used to. The waitress set down their orders in front of them quietly, sensing the tension at the table.

Leonard tried his best to mediate the situation, "Look guys, let's just try to have a nice meal."

"I was going to have a nice meal. But now, I'm not eating." Sheldon pushed his plate away.

Penny couldn't believe this guy.  _Who the hell does he think he is?_  "Well, if you're not eating. I'm not buying."

Sheldon scoffed, "That was hardly my motivation for coming."

"Then what was your motivation?"

"Well, it seemed that after asking us to essentially handle your own battles after only knowing us for a single day, and thus taking advantage of my friend Leonard's pining affection that we both know you're never going to reciprocate, no offense Leonard," Leonard hid his face at Sheldon's words, wanting to just fall through the floor right there. "I thought that your invitation to take us to dinner was your way of extending the olive branch and apologizing."

"It is my way of apologizing! I already said that I didn't know Kurt was going to be that way!" Penny exclaimed.

Sheldon rolled his eyes and shook his head, "I find it very hard to believe that you had no idea that your giant ex-boyfriend, who more than likely spent his whole life picking on guys like Leonard and me, would deny us access to your TV and humiliate us in the process."

Penny eyes pricked with tears. A huge part of her knew that what she had asked them was wrong, though she honestly didn't anticipate Kurt to do that at all. She still felt immense guilt over it, and Sheldon was just hammering in the nail. She was determined though not to let Sheldon see her weakness. "Well, you're wrong. I didn't know. But all of this is totally irrelevant anyways because the problem right now is you treating that waitress like crap over your stupid dinner!"

Sheldon's voice rose in pitch, "I still don't see how I was, as you say, "treating her like crap". I was just giving her specific instructions…"

"That's exactly it!" Penny was almost screaming now. "You can't just order everyone around like that!"

Sheldon went cold. He turned his head, lifting his nose in the air. "I can see this discussion is going nowhere since now you're resorting to emotional responses."

Penny clenched her hands into fist. If they were back in Nebraska in a shadier restaurant, she would have knocked his ass on the ground right there. But instead, she stood up from her chair, taking the lady's way out.

"You're an asshole."

And with that, Penny turned in her flip flops and walked out.

"Great Sheldon," Leonard spoke up. "Just great."

Sheldon darted his eyes to his friend. "I don't know why you're so upset with me. She is the one calling me vulgar names."

Leonard took off after Penny who was now standing outside the restaurant on her cell phone.

"Could you just please come and get me? I need a ride home," she sighed. "Okay, thank you sooo much!" She hung up the phone.

"Penny," Leonard spoke, and she turned to meet his eyes. "You really don't have to go. I'm sorry, Sheldon can be a little much."

Penny scoffed, "A little much? He's a jerk and thinks he's better than everyone else!"

Leonard nervously wrung his hands, "I know he seems like a lot to deal with right now, but there are a lot of good qualities about Sheldon."

"Well I'm not seeing them, and I don't intend to stick around and try and find something redeeming," Penny folded her arms and turned back to the street.

Leonard was at a loss. He had a lot of high hopes for this outing, and they were all falling apart. He really wanted Penny to like them. To like him.

"Again, I'm really sorry," he said quietly, almost in a whisper.

Penny felt a sinking in her chest. She was still really pissed off, but she knew Leonard was just trying to be a nice guy.

"It's not your fault, Leonard. I know you can't control what Sheldon does."

Leonard nodded his head. He bit his lip and decided to take a risk. "I would like to be your friend, Penny."

Penny felt a pang in her heart at the hopeful look in Leonard's eyes. She remembered Sheldon's words about pining affections. She had a feeling Leonard was already forming a little crush on her. It made her feel good, especially so soon after her terrible break up with Kurt, but she just couldn't see herself dating someone like him, or really anyone right now.

"I'd like to be your friend too, Leonard." And she meant that.

Leonard smiled up at her, turning his eyes up at the sky shyly.

After a long silence, Leonard softly asked, "So, I guess you found a ride with someone else?"

"Yeah," Penny nodded, avoiding his eyes. "A friend of mine."

Leonard nodded his head as well, "I would have taken you home, if you wanted."

"I know, sweetie," Penny patted his arm. "But you should go back and eat with your friends. I'll be fine out here. My friend doesn't live far away and will be here any minute."

Leonard returned his gaze down at the sidewalk. "Okay. Well… I guess I'll see ya."

"Yeah, see ya."

As she waited, Penny reflected back on the fight she had with Sheldon and how quickly it escalated. Penny wasn't a very confrontational person. She rarely ever fought with anyone, especially people she had just met. But something about him set her on edge, and she couldn't pin point it. She thought back to all the times Kurt was rude to waitresses (in an entirely different way), and she just sat back and let it happen. Why did she feel compelled to go toe to toe with probably one of the smartest people she was ever going to meet? As if he didn't intimidate her at all? As if she was some self-assured, intelligent woman? She rarely ever felt that way. But in that moment, Penny was on fire, and it had been a long time since she felt that sure of herself.

* * *

Sheldon settled into his nightly routine, putting on his Tuesday pajamas and brushing his teeth in clock-wise, circular motions. As he counted his rotations, he revisited his skirmish with Penny in the restaurant. He still couldn't believe the audacity of this woman who they barely even knew. First, asking them to get in the middle of an issue that clearly should have been settled between her and her Neanderthal ex-boyfriend. Second, criticizing how he ordered his food which was foolproof (when he was dealing with competent individuals) and had served him well all his life. Who was she to correct him? She didn't have a degree as far as he was aware. She claimed to be an "expert" on food service, but where were her credentials? For all he knew, she could have been a terrible waitress. Sheldon stewed, pressing harder on his brush rotations. When he finished, he noticed a little bit of blood from his gums.

"Oh great," he groaned. "Now I probably have gingivitis."

Sheldon entered his bedroom and removed his robe, hanging it on the back of the door. He carefully pulled back his bed sheets, folding them half way down the bed. He sat down on the bed, slipping off his slippers and meticulously arranging them so when he got up in the morning, he could slip his feet back into them again. For a brief moment, lost in his thoughts, he almost forgot that tonight was his weekly scheduled release night (which he had anticipated being utilized with his earlier goal at the sperm bank). He unbuttoned his pajamas and removed both his pants and shirt, folding them neatly and placing them at the corner of his bed. Last, his briefs came off, and he folded and placed them on his stack of clothes.

He laid his body above his sheets, wanting to avoid making a mess on any part of his bed or clothes. Sheldon always interpreted this activity in two ways, based on the point of view in the event. At first, he felt exasperation. He hated that he had to have this whole ordeal involved in his routine. It was messy and made him deviate from his usual nightly slumber. But, once he was finished, the rush of endorphins and chills he received from his orgasm made him reconsider. It wasn't so bad, he guessed. There were other aspects of being human – regardless of how advanced of one he was – that definitely were more cumbersome. He would still prefer to be able to eliminate this side of himself, but Sheldon long ago accepted that he came from a stock of people with high fertility and virility. And thus far, this process had served him well.

Sheldon reached over to his night stand and pulled out a clean wash cloth from a drawer. Gripping the soft fabric in his left hand, he prepared himself for arousal. Usually he would spend a few moments thinking of women that society deemed physically attractive that he had seen in scifi shows, comics, and video games. Sometimes, if that just wouldn't do it, he would think back to fantasies of his youth, where he would dream of being a knight or captain of the Enterprise (he would have preferred science officer, but then he would, of course, want to be Spock and that didn't really fit in with this mission). In these fantasies, he didn't yearn to live a chaste life for the purity of science and obtain his ultimate goal, the Nobel Prize. He was a different Sheldon. A Sheldon that fought with honor and yearned to spill the blood of lesser men. Or lead a mission of people to boldly go where no man has gone before. This Sheldon wasn't awkward or misunderstood or ostracized for his brilliance. This Sheldon was loved and feared. And with this power, came a seduction that Sheldon didn't fully understand, but had seen and read enough scifi/fantasy to know that women loved these qualities in a man. In his fantasies, he always had one woman in particular who would come to him and fall at her feet, begging for just one night. And he would give that to her. This is usually where the fantasy stopped because Sheldon wasn't really sure about how to imagine this part, having no experience himself. But by the end, he usually could finish without all the details.

Tonight was different. Sheldon was experiencing what he had frequently heard Howard refer to as "blue balls". As soon as he assumed the position, his member was throbbing against his pelvis, reaching to just below his belly button. He grasped his shaft tightly with his right hand, stroking from the tip to the base slowly. He decided on a medieval fantasy – Sheldor the Conqueror – his Conan the Barbarian alter ego. He was a rogue knight, leading an army across the lands, and taking city by city as he made his way to the kingdom to claim his throne. A woman warrior joined his ranks and insisted on defying his authority, trying to make him look weak and stupid in front of his men. He approached her, in her tent, demanding she treat him as the king he would become. She only gave him a sly smile, her blonde hair resting just above her shoulders and her green eyes twinkling in the candlelight.

She fought back, telling him he was a pompous ass who needed to know he wasn't always right. And in that moment, Sheldon wasn't Sheldor anymore but just himself, standing in a sushi restaurant alone with Penny. They were standing toe to toe, their previous words echoing in his mind. Penny's chest was heaving with anger, her cleavage spilling out of her blouse as it had earlier. Sheldon quickened his pace, squeezing himself every time his palm ran over his head. He backed her into the table then, holding her electric stare. He could smell her strawberry flavored lip gloss that his eidetic memory retrieved from her hug earlier. Fantasy Penny ran her hands across his abdomen as Real Penny had done earlier. Her light touch created a fire in his belly, and Real Sheldon pumped his shaft faster. Fantasy Penny dared him, her lips grazing across his jaw. She dared him to do what he had never done with a woman before because she knew he wanted her that way. All men did. Fantasy Sheldon pulled Penny's hips against his own, grinding his hardness into her, and Real Sheldon felt his testicles tighten as his fist pounded away at his swollen flesh.

He just barely covered himself with the wash cloth as his whole body began shivering, the strongest spasms in his groin. He could feel the warm liquid cascade down his fingers, and he groaned loudly through his orgasm. As he came down, the pulsing in his erection slowing, his toes uncurling, and his uneven pants finding a steady rhythm, he relaxed his head against the pillow, drowning in the euphoria. It had never felt that intense before. He never had to cry out, but it was physically impossible not to. His bones felt like a semi-solid liquid, melted by his elevated body heat.

He wiped himself clean, noticing that he had produced a lot more semen than usual. He threw the wash cloth into his laundry basket, forgoing the carefulness he usually had in these moments. His torso just didn't want to leave this spot.

He laid there, in the darkness, listening only to his calming breaths. He replayed that moment in his mind. Just before he finished…

_Fascinating._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Leonard spotted Penny through the glass doors of their apartment, sorting through her mail. She wore hip hugging, hot pink yoga pants and a bright orange hoodie. Her hair hung loosely just above her shoulders, slightly tousled as if she had just woken up. Leonard noted that it was 3:00 pm right now, and he wondered if she had slept in really late or maybe was just getting in after spending the night somewhere (which he hoped wasn't the case). He hadn't really seen her much since the awful dinner on Tuesday. Once, he was leaving his apartment as she was entering hers, and before he could get out, "Hi, Penny!" she had closed the door already. Another time, Leonard and Sheldon were returning home from work as Penny was leaving for her shift at the Cheesecake Factory. Leonard admired how adorable she looked in her yellow and green uniform, but she would barely even look at them as she passed. Leonard suspected it was because she was still angry at Sheldon. He noticed Sheldon trying his best to turn his nose up at Penny, ignoring her, but he saw the subtle flick of his eyes in her direction as she walked away. Otherwise, it was almost as if their new neighbor didn't even live across the hall.

Leonard had stalled for too long and Penny spotted him as she turned around to make her way back up the stairs. She paused for a second as Leonard awkwardly tried to push his way through the doors. He didn't want her to think he was just standing there staring at her (which, okay, maybe he was). Penny gave a soft, warm smile as Leonard gambled his way into the lobby, tripping over his own feet.

"Hi," Leonard nervously said as he straightened his jacket.

"Hi!" Penny cheerily greeted him.

"How have you been? How's moving?" He asked in quick succession.

"Oh, it's been fine. Great." She nodded her head with what Leonard interpreted as a polite smile.

"Great…" he searched his mind for something else to ask her.

"Okay, well bye!" She waved and made her way back up the stairs.

Leonard almost began to follow but settled on waving instead, "Yeah okay, um, bye!" He called up to her.  _Geez, she practically ran away from me. This is just perfect._

Downtrodden, Leonard collected their mail and made his way up to the fourth floor. He tried to think of what he could have possibly done or said to make Penny want to avoid him. Maybe she was just being nice on the first day? Maybe she really didn't have any interest to hang out with them after all? She had said she wanted to be his friend though. So why weren't they doing more friend-like activities? Was it because of her fight with Sheldon? Leonard had a light bulb moment as this idea entered his stream of consciousness. He had to get Sheldon to apologize.

While Sheldon didn't enjoy making new friends or talking to strangers, Leonard also knew Sheldon hated having enemies. Though most people thought Sheldon enjoyed arguing with people (which he did), over the years Leonard had observed that Sheldon legitimately disliked it when he actually fought with someone. There were a few colleagues at CalTech who traded insults with him. Sheldon was fairly quick, until his feelings got hurt, and then he resorted to practically calling them "poopy heads" unable to come up with any comebacks. Afterwards, he would pout for a good 20 minutes, and Leonard imagined he was probably replaying the scenario in his head over and over. Leonard was pretty sure if he played his cards right, he could convince Sheldon to apologize. He knew Sheldon had been stewing over the Penny fight and reacted strangely anytime one of them mentioned her name.

Entering their apartment, Leonard found Sheldon at his laptop with his eyes trained on the screen, most likely reading a journal article.

"Sheldon, you have to apologize to Penny," Leonard stated outright.

Sheldon's eyes didn't move from the screen but his brow furrowed into a frown, "Why?"

"Because," Leonard whined as he tossed the mail onto his desk. This got Sheldon's attention quickly and he zeroed his eyes on the mail. Leonard caught onto Sheldon's look and sighed. He pulled out Sheldon's pieces of mail and handed them to him, continuing, "You're the one who got into a fight with her, and now she's barely talking to me."

Sheldon flipped through the envelopes, his expression uncaring, "So, your theory is that Penny won't engage in conversation with you because of something I did?"

"Well, yeah."

Sheldon rolled his eyes tossing the junk mail into the trash can by his desk. It was unclear whether he was annoyed with this conversation or just his mail or both. Sheldon finally turned to Leonard to speak with him.

"And what exactly am I supposed to apologize for? Ordering food to satiate myself? Defending myself from her vicious attacks?"

It was Leonard's turn to roll his eyes, "Oh, she did not attack you. You were being rude, which we've all told you before, and Penny was merely trying to tell you the same thing."

"That did not give her to right to call me names that I'm not comfortable repeating!"

Leonard plopped down on the couch, sighing, "Well Sheldon, you were kind of being an asshole."

Sheldon's eyes popped open, "What are you saying? How?"

Leonard leaned forward on his knees. It was his own version of "lecture mode" for Sheldon's obtuseness to anything dealing with social human behavior.

"Three reasons. One: you always treat waiters and waitresses rudely. There is an etiquette that we have all tried before to explain to you about talking to people who are serving you food."

Sheldon opened his mouth to interrupt but Leonard held up his finger, "Also, Penny is a waitress herself so she is even more sensitive to hearing the way you speak to other servers because she has probably experienced poor treatment by patrons in her past."

This put a frown on Sheldon's face and he sank back in his chair.

"Two: you definitely insulted her intelligence a few times."

"That was just…" Sheldon began, but Leonard cut him off again.

"I know, I know. You stating facts. And you do it to everyone, so it wasn't personal. We've all heard it before, but we're used to you. Penny doesn't know any of that, and anyone would react hostilely the way she did."

Sheldon folded his arms and crinkled his nose.

"Three: when things got heated, you did the one thing that you're never supposed to say to a woman while in a verbal quarrel. You diminished her argument by calling her emotional."

"But she was being emotional," Sheldon inserted.

"Yes, but you weren't exactly the robot that we're used to. You raised your voice too. And you were definitely more aggressive than usual, like you were determined to win, which would trigger anyone's defensiveness."

Sheldon considered Leonard's opinion. He did feel charged during and even after the argument was over. Usually when he sparred with people, he simply beat them using logic and didn't actually feel there was a contest to win. But he distinctly remembered being motivated to best Penny, not just to correct her.

"I see your points and most of them seem valid. But I do have a question. How do you know this about arguing with women? I've hardly ever even seen you speak to women, and you aren't one to dabble much in the social sciences."

Leonard blushed, "Well, um, I've read a lot of self-help books on dating."

"I see," Sheldon stood up, pacing in front of the coffee table slowly as he considered his options. "Maybe I did wrong Penny in some way. But why should I apologize? I have no plans to engage in any social activities with her. I don't see her as contributing anything valuable to the company I choose to keep."

Leonard shook his head, "It's for me, okay? And you consider me a friend, right?"

Sheldon hopped in alarm, "Of course! It explicitly states in the Friendship Clause of the Roommate Agreement that…"

"So, as a friend, sometimes you're supposed to do things you don't want to do in order to help with another friend's happiness," Leonard explained.

"You're referring to your plans to engage in coitus with Penny?"

Leonard hesitated, "… Yes."

"Hmm…" Sheldon considered this new aspect of friendship he wasn't entirely aware of before. He felt a strange burning behind his sternum at the idea of Leonard succeeding in his mission.

"But what if I think the probability of you having coitus with Penny is equivalent to Lesley Winkle's ideas about loop quantum gravity proving to be a better explanation of uniting quantum mechanics with general relativity then string theory? Which we both know is just preposterous."

Leonard pursed his lips out and stared Sheldon down from over his glasses' frames, "It doesn't matter."

"Drat," Sheldon huffed. "But don't expect me to actually convince her to engage in sexual intercourse with you."

"I would really rather you not," Leonard replied with a sigh.

* * *

Penny hung up with her now ex-ex-boyfriend. The night she went out with her neighbors and got into that huge fight with Sheldon, she had called Kurt to pick her up. She didn't sleep with him, though he practically insisted on it. She wanted to take things slow after the cheating. But of course, he screwed it up again by slipping and mentioning how many girls he had been with since they broke up. They had only been apart for two weeks! Two weeks! How do you just throw away a four year relationship like that?

Well she was really done with him now. No more apologies or excuses or giving into their on-again/off-again relationship. Penny swore to herself right then and there she would never get into another relationship again unless she knew it was real.

Penny collected her laundry that was strewn around her apartment. She felt a little silly not going out on a Saturday night and instead staying at home to do her laundry. But her emotions had been put through the ringer. One way she would deal with situations like this was to drink or go out and find some male-attention (that really was her motivation for calling up Kurt in the first place). But tonight she was just tired from her physically and emotionally exhausting week. Moving, on top of working a full time job, and having rollercoaster moments with Kurt really tore her a new one. A quiet night in was just what she needed.

Penny made her way down to the laundry room, hoping the laundry facilities weren't as crappy as they appeared to her when she first looked at the place. She really didn't want to have to go to a laundry mat. When she entered the basement, the last person she wanted to see was standing right there, with his back to her, folding his laundry.

She almost turned around and walked out, but the strange contraption he was using to fold his t-shirts caught her eye. She watched him for a few moments as he meticulously folded with intense concentration. She noticed the clothes he was wearing now were a purple t-shirt with a green long sleeve undershirt that fitted tightly to his arms.  _Purple and green? Since when do those go together?_  Her gaze returned to his folding, where she noticed how gracefully his long hands and slender fingers moved as he carefully laid his next t-shirt on the folding board. Penny had a thing for guys' hands, and despite being a bat-shit crazy prick, this guy had some nice ones.

Sheldon turned around in that moment, feeling as if someone was watching him. He found the culprit to be Penny, laundry basket resting against her hip and her eyes intently focused on his folding. She startled back in attention in that moment, noticing him noticing her. Her cheeks warmed in slight embarrassment. She frowned with a crease forming between her eyebrows.

"Sorry, I didn't know anyone was down here," she stated flatly and turned to leave.

"Penny, wait!" Sheldon called after her. Penny stopped on the first step, slowly turning around.

"Don't you need to do your laundry?" He asked.

Penny stiffly nodded her head.

Sheldon waved his arm over to the washing machines. "None of the washing machines are occupied."

Penny eyed him for a moment, distrusting of his helpfulness.

She decided to just go with it and walked over to the washer, placing her basket down on top of the middle machine.

As she opened the lid to the adjacent washer, she heard Sheldon clear his throat.

"It has been pointed out to me that I owe you an apology," he began. Penny froze. This was unexpected.

Penny turned to face him. He was nervously touching the side of the table, refusing to meet her eyes. In that moment, he reminded her of a little boy caught red-handed doing something naughty. She felt her resolve diminish, but she rescued it by remembering his condescending, cold stare from Tuesday night.

"What for?" she asked.

Sheldon licked his lips and darted his eyes to all corners of the room trying to avoid looking directly at her hard expression. "For our argument on Tuesday at the sushi bar."

Penny gave him a wicked, half smirk. "What exactly about that are you apologizing for?"

Sheldon began to grow antsy with the way this was going. It reminded him of being scolded by his mother as a little kid. She also used to make him spell out his crimes to her in detail. He knew it was her way of making sure he understood exactly where his errors were since social mores seemed to allude him.

"It didn't occur to me at the time but Leonard recently pointed out to me that I should be more discriminate with my wording and cater to your sensitivities."

Penny raised an eyebrow.  _What?_

Sheldon reluctantly continued once he realized Penny wasn't going to respond, "For example, I should be considerate of my tone when speaking to wait staff in front of you, as you are a waitress. Also, I should avoid discussing your education status, or at least bring up Wolowitz and Leonard's in the same conversation so that you do not feel excluded."

Sheldon gazed at her hopefully, trying to gauge whether his apology has reached satisfactory acceptance with her yet. Penny only continued to stare at him as if he had grown a second head.

"And apparently, because you're a woman, you do not like it when it's pointed out that you're being emotional in a debate. So, I apologize as well for that."

Penny's eyes pointed in a glare at his last comment. Well, at least he tried. "Fine, close enough. You're forgiven. And I guess I'm sorry too.

Sheldon furrowed his brow, "You're sorry? For what?"

"Getting so upset. Calling you an asshole. It wasn't a very mature response."

Sheldon nodded his head, "Yes, well, we shall just leave it, as the famous colloquialism states, to be "water under the bridge". Though why the state of water or what it is under is an analogy to settling a dispute – I still don't understand."

Penny shook her head.  _Wack-a-doodle_.

"So, now that there is no longer a quarrel going on between us, will you stop avoiding Leonard?"

"Avoiding Leonard? I haven't been avoiding Leonard. Why does he think that?"

Sheldon froze, "Huh, it occurs to me I probably shouldn't have said that. Nevermind."

Penny shook her head, noticing his left eye twitch as he turned to finish folding his clothes. She reoriented herself to the task at hand but was once again distracted when Sheldon continued to speak.

"For the washers, the left one sometimes shuts off in the middle of the cycle, so you'll want to avoid that one. The middle washer you can't use the fabric softener dispenser, so you'll want to add it manually. Oh, and the right only produces cold water, so you might want to save that one for your delicates."

Penny opened the middle washing machine and dumped her entire basket. As she tossed some powdered soap on top, Sheldon clipped, "Or that."

Penny fished out quarters from her pocket, and Sheldon began stacking his folded clothes back into his basket. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a small, flimsy piece of red lace on the floor in front of the washers. He focused on the garment more carefully and realized it must be a pair of Penny's panties (their utility as such should be called into question though since it appeared that they wouldn't cover very much surface area). His throat closed up, imagining that these were the type of underwear that women meant for men to see on them.

He cleared his throat once more, "Penny, it appears you dropped your… undergarments."

Penny looked down to where he was pointing and found her "lucky lacies", as she liked to call them.  _Don't want to lose those_. She giggled to herself as she threw them into her load. Who the hell calls them undergarments anyways?

When she turned to look at Sheldon, he was nervously stacking the rest of his laundry. She noticed a pink hue blotting his cheeks _. How adorable. He's embarrassed!_

Penny sauntered up to him as he picked up the basket, ready to leave the laundry room. He narrowed his eyes questioningly at her. He turned around and walked out of the room. As he climbed the staircase, he quickly noticed that she was following closely behind. When they reached the lobby, he turned to look at her.

"Aren't you going to stay with your laundry?"

"Why would I do that?" Penny asked. They started the next staircase.

"There is a sign hanging in the laundry room that explicitly states "Do not leave your clothes unattended'," he stated matter-of-factly.

Penny swatted towards him, "Oh, that's just so the landlord can't be held responsible if someone steals your clothes."

They reached the second floor landing. Sheldon bugged his eyes out in shock, "What will you do if someone  _does_  steal your clothes?"

Penny shrugged, "I don't know. Walk around naked, I guess."

Sheldon halted at the first step of the staircase, appalled and titillated all at once. Penny continued ahead smiling to herself, understanding completely what seed she had planted in the genius' mind.

Sheldon tried to calm the arousal that began to grow in his pants. He adjusted the laundry basket and held it in front of him, just in case his shameful excitement was obvious to her. He really hoped that no one did steal Penny's clothes. He wasn't sure what he would do if she walked around the apartment completely naked. Surely that had to be considered inappropriate or illegal, right? He also began considering maybe his heightened arousal on Tuesday might not be just an isolated incident.

Penny listened carefully as Sheldon caught up with her on the third floor. She saw his blush was back and brighter than before. She could get used to riling Sheldon up. She almost found it sweet how timid he was being. Most men would take her comment as an invitation to put their hands all over her. Sheldon kept his distance, never taking his eyes off the floor.

They finished their journey to the fourth floor in silence. Penny wondered what she would do for the rest of the evening to take her mind off of her Kurt drama, while Sheldon considered how he would go about executing the next part of Leonard's request.

"It was nice talking with you, Sheldon," Penny waved as she continued on to her apartment. Sheldon was frozen by his door, clutching the laundry basket in his hands. He studied her closely, his nervousness escalating as he watched her reach for her door knob.

"Penny! Wait!" He called out to her.

Penny turned with an amused and expectant look, "Yes, Sheldon."

Sheldon swallowed. Penny's smile grew as he searched awkwardly for a way to word this.

"On Saturdays, after laundry, Howard and Raj usually stay to play some late-night Halo," he took a punctuated pause.

"That's nice, sweetie," Penny nodded her head.

"I'd like to extend an invitation to you to join us, if you'd like. This is my way of having us – you, me, the rest of the group –," he gestured with his head to his apartment door. "Turn over a new leaf and start fresh."

Penny quickly caught on this must have been another thing that Leonard also explained to him. While flattered, Penny felt a bit uneasy at how obvious Leonard's crush on her was developing.

Penny smiled warmly at Sheldon, "Halo? That's one of those shoot-em-up games, right?"

Sheldon's face twitched as he desperately tried to hold back scolding comments to correct her, "Yes, it's a first-person shooter. But we can play teams."

"Sounds like fun!" Penny chirped brightly.

Sheldon and Penny entered 4A to find Howard and Raj, standing at their feet, pounding incessantly on the XBOX controllers.

"What!" Howard screeched! "No!"

"Hahah!" Raj chanted. "You can kiss my hairy, brown…" right then, he noticed Penny and Sheldon standing in the doorway. His face froze, stricken at the sight of a female in the room.

"Penny!" Leonard stood up from his chair. "Hey, hi!" He waved.

"Hi, boys," Penny sashayed into the room. "Sheldon invited me to play Halo."

" _Sheldon_  invited you?" Howard's asked with disbelief.

"Well, that's nice," Leonard nudged Howard in the back. "You two getting along now?"

Penny playfully smiled up at the lanky scientist, "We're practically best friends." Penny reached out to grab his arm affectionately, but Sheldon swiftly dodged her touch, the laundry basket still firmly pressed to his abdomen.

"I'm going to put these away and we'll start promptly. We should have begun three minutes ago."

Penny sat down on the middle cushion, picking up one of the controllers.

"So how do you play this game, anyways?"

Howard swerved into her side, perching himself at the end of the left cushion on the couch, "I can show you. It's all about being good with your hands." He waggled his eyebrows.

Penny crinkled her nose, "Gross. Leonard, could you show me how to play this?" She scooted over, as far away from Howard as she could.

As Leonard explained the different controls, Sheldon returned from putting away his clothes and adjusting himself. He frowned at the sight in the living room.

"Penny, you're in my spot," he deadpanned.

She noticed the serious expression he had this time about her moving in comparison to his nervous request last time she was in their apartment. She frowned at Leonard, scooting over to the middle.  _Don't want to upset his highness again._

"What teams should we play?" Leonard asked the group.

Raj leaned over to Howard, whispering in his ear. Howard huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Raj says he won't play this round so that Penny can play."

Raj's brow creased in confusion and he leaned over to whisper in Howard's ear again. Howard dodged him. "I'm not going to say the last part. If you want to gloat, you'll just have to learn to speak up."

Raj frowned, taking his position on the floor beside Howard.

"Leonard will be on my team," Sheldon stated.

Leonard shot him a worried expression, "Why? We never play together."

"With Raj out of the game, you're the next skilled player. Penny has never played before and will do terribly, and while Howard is decent at head-shots, I find his incessant need to mount and simulate coitus on our characters to be crude."

Penny narrowed her eyes at him, "So, you won't play on my team just because you have to win?"

Sheldon blinked at her, "What's the point in playing if I'm not trying to win?"

Penny gave him a sly grin. So Sheldon was competitive. Well, what he didn't realize is she was as well.

"It's okay, Penny," Wolowitz leaned in close to her again. "I'll teach you as we go along. In fact, there are many, many things I would like to teach you."

Penny shook her head, "Thanks Howard, but you know, I'm more of an independent, hands on learner."

"That's fine. I'm always up for some "mutual hands-on learning"."

Penny's face fell in disgust. "Really?"

"Okay, Howard," Leonard chimed in. "That's enough. Let's just play."

It didn't take Penny long to figure out the controls and start to bust some caps in all these nerd boys' asses. Penny giggled and taunted at every kill she made, which she was racking up on. She was already in a close second with Sheldon. Penny was getting such a rush from the game and she kept bouncing in her spot in aggressive pursuit of Sheldon and Leonard.

Sheldon was not amused. Penny was not supposed to be this good. And she definitely wasn't supposed to be bouncing up and down next to him, her arms making contact with his as he leaned forward in determination. Every time her arm brushed up against his, a warm heat pulsed at the origin of contact. This momentarily distracted him and then his head would explode. Penny would celebrate once again and lean into him more as some kind of cruel taunt. And the cycle would continue. He couldn't let Penny beat him.

Sheldon's squirminess did not go unnoticed by Penny. She was an experienced, highly flirtatious woman of 22. She knew exactly how to get men's blood boiling. Even mad-scientists like Sheldon. Maybe she was intentionally doing it as a strategy to distract Sheldon. Ever since her score started climbing, he was on a mission to only kill her. She needed to use every weapon at her disposal, including her new knowledge that Sheldon was embarrassed and shy when it came to her flirty side.

When Penny inevitably beat Sheldon's kill count, Sheldon tossed the controller in front of him in defeat, shooting up from his seat so she couldn't touch him anymore.

"This isn't fair. She has to be cheating! No one can be that attractive and good at video games," Sheldon ranted, folding his arms in a pout.

"She won fair and square, Sheldon," Leonard grinned. He loved seeing his roommate bested, especially at Halo.

"I wouldn't say that," he narrowed his eyes at Penny. She batted her eyelashes, taunting him and maybe revealing that she knew exactly what she was doing. Sheldon sneered.  _I'm onto you, woman._

"I'm going to bed," he announced, turning around and stalking off to his bedroom. Penny stared after him.

"Is he always this much of a sore loser?"

"I would actually call that a pretty tame response," Leonard explained.

"Well, I'm going to head out then. It was nice playing with you gentlemen," Penny curtsied playfully and walked around the table. She patted Raj on the shoulder as she passed him. "Always nice talking to you, Raj."

Raj opened his eyes wide in alarm, frozen in his spot. He waited for Penny to leave the apartment. As soon as the door closed, a moony smiled spread across his face.

"Penny touched me. How many of you losers can say Penny touched you?" Raj gloated.

Howard and Leonard scowled at him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter loosely based on Season 1 Episode 3 "The Fuzzy Boots Corollary". So some things that I reference are based on what occurs in that episode.

Chapter 4

Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD needed order in his life. A scientist on the quest for the Nobel needed focus, discipline, inspiration, and an elimination of all other stressors. It was why he held to his strict schedule in the first place. If he didn't have to think or worry about what to do on a day by day basis, he could dedicate more of his brain's energy to solving the mysteries of the universe.

But at this moment in time, Sheldon Cooper's brain was suffering: from unexpected encounters with scantily clad neighbors (really, can't that woman wear anything other than short shorts and tank tops?), unnerving deviations to erotic fantasies and more specifically, a lack of blood flow.

Sheldon went through puberty while he was in college, both during undergrad and his graduate careers. While he sees his early accomplishments as a source of pride, he did recognize that he had an unusual form of early socialization during this critical point in his biological development. Where other teenage boys were lusting after other teenage girls and everyone was just as clueless to the changes in their bodies and budding sexuality, Sheldon was surrounded by young adults who were all too familiar with what was going on with him. Not only did he have to deal with the ridicule and humiliation of frat boys and insecure fellow male grad students who found Sheldon to be a threat, but he also had to learn to function with young, attractive women who infantilized his reactions to their interactions with him as well as the occasional offerings to take his viriginity for a decent grade in his class. Sheldon never took any of these women up on their offers. For one, it was unethical on his end as a teacher. But secondly, he knew at these universities, he was a walking freak show. He never could trust that any of these women weren't in their own ways trying to humiliate him as well.

One of the more embarrassing side effects of puberty for Sheldon (other than his awkward growth spurts, severe outbreaks of acne, and out-of-control vocal changes) were his unpredictable erections. They always seemed to occur at the most inopportune moments. He read a lot about what was going on with his body at the time and discovered this was a common problem with young males and their new testosterone surges. He understood though it was only temporary, and that it was something he could learn to curb. One of these methods was his scheduled weekly masturbation. Another was suppression of these sexual feelings to the point of non-existence. While it took some time, it wasn't terribly difficult for Sheldon, as he understood it could be for other celibate males in society. He had a lot of shame and embarrassment associated with these feelings anyways. He could recognize a woman as attractive by definition. Whether her proportions and symmetry were appropriate with what his friends and other males responded to. But he didn't feel those responses of his youth elicited in him anymore. Sure, occasionally one woman or two would slip through the cracks, and he could sense her sex appeal with his body, but it was never something he couldn't ignore.

Until Penny.

Penny was a conundrum to him. She wasn't the most attractive woman he had ever seen. She was blonde, tan, thin and totally ordinary in retrospect. She did not possess any other qualities that he was aware of such as an extreme intelligence or a love for fantasy/scifi. If anything, Penny appeared to be the opposite of him in every way that he had thus far collected data. She was boisterous. She played loud music. She was physically affectionate and flirtatious. She wielded things like sarcasm and tone in ways that totally went over his head, and he only realized she used after Leonard pointed them out to him. She had terrible table manners and no respect for people's personal boundaries. And once, he got a glimpse into her apartment, he could have sworn he saw clothes and misplaced items thrown about in a chaotic assortment of entropy.

So why did his body respond to her in this way?

For the past three weeks, Sheldon had been consumed with the enigma that was his neighbor. Anytime he saw her, a strange array of symptoms would hit him. His palms became sweaty. His limbs felt lighter as if they weren't receiving adequate amounts of blood circulating. His core body temperature rose. His stomach twisted and turned with anxiety. His breathing became erratic. And most importantly, he developed a painfully annoying erection. After hours of searching on the internet for what could be his calamity, the only thing Sheldon could conclude was that he was going into a conditional heat that relied solely on Penny's physical presence.

His initial plan was just to avoid Penny at all costs. This proved to be the solution of most resistance because in order to actually accomplish it, he would have to move which was not something he was willing to do. This plan could have been easier had Leonard not insisted on inviting her over to have meals with them frequently, but his roommate was determined to win Penny's heart to no avail.

His current plan was much simpler and just a slight deviation to his usual routine. The first week after meeting Penny, Sheldon stuck to his weekly Tuesday masturbation. When the following Tuesday came after the aggravating Halo session, a few seconds after stroking himself and revisiting his previous fantasy, his orgasm struck him deep in his abdomen. During the week that followed, he had a difficulty resisting the temptation to relieve his arousal after his frequent encounters with Penny. A large part of him found his reactions to Penny vile and disgusting. How could he suddenly be struck with such perversion that could even challenge Wolowitz's claim? Another part of him though was intrigued by the novel situation. While unbecoming, he had a chance to solve this problem using the principles of the scientific method. So first, he observed, and he found as the week progressed, his frustrations and reactions intensified as he continued to be in Penny's presence. And when Tuesday night came around, his release brought him a serenity and relaxation from the issue at hand. And so he hypothesized. If he more frequently masturbated in response to his arousal elicited by Penny, then his tension would decrease, and he could be more relaxed in her presence.

He experimented.

He designed it so that every day he felt this arousal, he would follow that night with a release. Under this regimen, Sheldon found that he was masturbating almost every night. As the week progressed, the more intense his fantasies became. They always starred Penny and himself, but instead of an alternate universe setting, he always ended up replaying that day's encounter. As he fantasized, the sexual details of these interactions became clearer; with Sheldon pulling from incidents he has witnessed in television and movies. While he couldn't imagine what it would feel like to touch Penny's skin or for Penny to climb on top of him or even enter her, he could conceive of this occurring, and it satisfied him to completion every time.

However, he did not support his hypothesis.

Despite seeking release nightly, in the days that followed, Sheldon found his encounters with Penny more frustrating. He no longer had to wait for her to make some kind of gesture or turn her body in a certain appealing way that would arouse him all over again. Instead, he would see her and his fantasies from the night before would return to him, making him instantly hard. It seemed he had only exacerbated the situation. It was as if these nightly visits were only teasing his body, reminding him of what he could do given the opportunity.

So this outcome left him in his current place: standing in front of his whiteboard with his equations, designating his interactions with Penny throughout the week, and trying to figure out an alternative hypothesis to his troubles.

Leonard's entrance into the living room distracted Sheldon. He brought a cloud of strong, alcohol-based odor with him.

Leonard adjusted the cuffs of his shirt (the nicest that he owned). He stood up straight facing Sheldon and straightened his arms to his sides.

"What do you think of this?" He asked.

Sheldon shot him a puzzled look, "I'm not sure I understand the question."

Leonard's shoulders sagged, "For my date tonight with Penny."

This statement bewildered Sheldon, "You have a date with Penny?"

"Yes," Leonard sighed in exasperation. "I told you earlier."

"Huh, I must not have been listening."

Leonard pursed his lips in annoyance and marched off to the bathroom. Sheldon returned to his whiteboard; however, he couldn't focus on the task at hand. He felt distraught over this news that Leonard would be escorting Penny on a date this evening. He frequently enjoyed telling Leonard that he had no chance with Penny, but it appeared he might have been wrong. Maybe he had misjudged her or Leonard's courting success.

Leonard returned with what Sheldon could only deduce as having more hair gel than previously, which seemed like an impossible feat.

"Do you think I'm wearing too much cologne?" Leonard asked.

"It depends," Sheldon turned to face him. "What is the purpose of cologne exactly?"

Leonard was briefly stumped. "Well…to smell nice."

"Judging by my nose and eyes' reaction to the concentration you have on now, I'd say yes, you are wearing too much. I definitely wouldn't categorize it as "nice"."

'Oh god, this is gonna be terrible," Leonard began pacing around the couch. "Just, if you see Penny sometime between now and seven…if she asks about dinner tonight just say you can't make it."

Sheldon frowned in confusion, "Why would she concern herself with me in your plans for tonight?"

Leonard nervously popped his fingers, "Well, I might have suggested that this was going to be a group outing."

"So your goal is to lure Penny under false pretenses out to dinner, and then once you have her alone, try to engage her in a relationship paradigm."

Leonard shook his head, "You make it sound predatory."

"Well, Leonard, when a male does seek out a female in many mammalian species, his stalking and persistent courtship behaviors could be characterized as that. Though, I highly doubt you'll be getting any copulation displays out of Penny tonight smelling like that."

Leonard narrowed his eyes at his roommate, "I'm going to take another shower."

"Wait," Sheldon called after him, before he could reach the hallway. Leonard reluctantly turned. "What would you like me to say if Penny asks me about dinner tonight?"

Leonard shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Make something up."

"Make something up? You know I can't do that! We need an elaborate, unravelable lie if this is going to be a rouse!"

"Oh god," Leonard covered his face with his hands. "Sheldon! Just say you had a big lunch and leave it at that."

Sheldon scoffed, "Penny would never believe that! She has become very accustomed to my eating habits, and she knows that I would never skip dinner."

Leonard threw his hands in the air in surrender, "Fine, you come up with something you deem complicated but believable, and I'll go take a shower."

Sheldon returned to his white board and Leonard stomped away to the bathroom. He picked up his eraser and wiped the board clean. He would just have to return to this problem at another time. Opening up Google on his web browser, he typed in "24 hour diseases" into the search bar.

* * *

Leonard held the napkin to his head as he and Penny climbed the staircase of their apartment.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Penny asked again. She felt awful about Leonard hitting his head and injuring himself.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Leonard waved her off. "The bleeding stopped a while ago and the nausea is really settling."

Penny pulled him along to her apartment, "Well at least let me help you wash up and give you some ibuprofen. It's the least I can do."

The nausea hit him again. From what he understood, whenever invited into a woman's apartment after a date, it usually meant sex was going to happen. He didn't imagine it would happen this soon and definitely not under these circumstances.

When they entered her apartment, Penny directed Leonard to sit on the couch, and she scrambled through her bathroom. She tried to find the first aid kit her mother sent off with her when she left for California four years ago, but gave up and instead settled for some alcohol and cotton swabs. She had a large stash of over-the-counter headache relieving drugs for her mornings after partying.

Penny returned, smiling at Leonard as he examined the bloody napkin he had covering his head wound.

"Here you go, sweetie," she dropped the pills onto his palm and stood above him to clean his head. He had a lot of thick, curly hair so it was hard to see where he actually cut himself. Not to mention his hair gel made his hair practically impenetrable. She was actually surprised he was able to hurt himself at all because his hair seemed to serve as a pretty decent helmet.

Leonard was a nervous wreck having Penny hovering over him in this way. With her body close to his own, he could feel the warmth radiating off her skin like sunbeams.

"Hold still, this might sting," she warned.

Leonard tensed up as she poured the alcohol onto his cut. She quickly sopped up the remaining liquid with the cotton balls.

"Did I hurt you?"

"N-no," Leonard stammered. "It's actually really nice."

Penny stopped her handiwork, sensing that maybe Leonard might have been misinterpreting her kindness. She took a seat next to him, coaxing herself to ask him what she had been wondering since the beginning of dinner.

"Leonard," She looked down at her hands folded in her lap. "Was this supposed to be a date?"

"What?" Leonard exclaimed. "A date? No. This was just a group dinner where most of the group couldn't make it."

Penny nodded her head, not believing him.

"When I date a woman, and believe me, I do…she knows," He nodded his head. "…when she's been dated."

Penny smiled sadly at him, "You know Leonard… it hasn't been that long since I left Kurt."

Leonard nodded his head, hurting himself in the process. He groaned, putting pressure on his wound again with his hand. Penny reflexing reached to see what was wrong, but Leonard insisted he was fine. "I know, Penny. But this wasn't a date."

"Okay, sweetie," She comfortingly touched his shoulder. "I just want you to know I really appreciate your friendship. All of your friendships - you, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj. Well, maybe not so much Howard," She joked.

Leonard sadly smiled, his heart sinking into a deeper hole in his chest.

"I just don't want anything to be weird between us," she gestured within the space that separated them. "Because I don't think I'm ready for that. To date, I mean"

"Will you ever?" Leonard asked abruptly. "I mean, do you think you'd ever be interested… you know, in the future… maybe…"

Penny cut him off, "I don't know."

A pregnant silence settled between them.

"Well, I should get going," Leonard stood up quickly, dizziness blurring his eyes. "I had a nice time, Penny."

Penny waved but Leonard was gone because she could finish her goodbye.

Penny fell back onto the couch cushions, releasing her tension with steady breaths. She felt awful. She knew she didn't owe Leonard anything. No woman owes another man love. But she still felt uneasy about Leonard's quick attachment to her. She wondered if she did anything to start this. Been too friendly? Gave him mixed signals? Enjoyed his attentions more then she should and possibly, in hindsight, encouraged him? Penny wasn't sure. She tried in that moment to imagine actually dating Leonard. If she were honest with herself rationally, she probably should. Leonard was a nice guy. He was always polite and putting her own interests first. She was very sure he would never cheat on her like Kurt. He was a gentleman ( _but aren't most men, in the beginning?_ ). He was smart with a good, steady job. He could be a man she could bring home to her parents, and they wouldn't pull her aside and tell her she deserved better and just needs to put more initiative into her life.

But Penny knew if it ever came to that, she would be seeking Leonard out of desperation to avoid getting hurt. She'd force her feelings. There would always be an uneven balance with Leonard loving her more then she could ever love him. Sure, Penny could imagine a happy life with Leonard. She could even grow to love him for his quirky shyness and geeky tendencies. But she didn't think she could be  _in love_  with Leonard. At least, not now anyways. It wasn't fair to him. Someone that sweet should be with someone who was sure about them. Who could look at him and feel fireworks. Penny felt everyone deserved that – at least once in their life.

Though she hadn't found that kind of love with the jock types she usually dated, it didn't take her over-analyzing to realize Leonard wasn't the "fix-it" solution. She wanted to just feel that instant chemistry with someone. That magnetic pull she read about in her romance novels. There had to be a man out there who would treat her with respect and loyalty  _and_  who could make her heart race when she looked into his eyes. Or was that her naïve assumption about the way the world worked?

Penny longingly looked over to her kitchen, briefly wondering whether or not that bottle of vodka was still around. It worried her, that this was her initial reflex. Not having Kurt to fall back on, she wanted to drown her worries with alcohol. An alarming question entered her brain, sharp and quick, like a stab wound, " _Am I an alcoholic_?" The answer frightened her so much that she grabbed for her remote control and turned on her TV, trying to forget she ever had the thought in the first place.

* * *

Sheldon was in the middle of a Firefly marathon when Leonard returned.

He almost scolded Leonard for slamming the door upon his arrival, but the expression and body language Leonard exhibited that Sheldon had learned to associate with distress caused him to pause.

"I take it your date with Penny did not go as you hoped."

Leonard gritted his teeth, "No, Sheldon, it didn't. And I don't need your opinion on it so just shut up."

"Very well," he returned his attention back to the show.

Leonard charged into the kitchen, opening cupboards wildly as he retrieved a glass and slammed it on the counter. He filled the glass with water from the faucet and popped back the ibuprofen pills still cupped in his hand.

Sheldon paused the DVD and walked over to the counter, "Even though you asked me to 'shut up', your wild treatment of our kitchen is indicating to me that you want to talk about this."

Leonard braced himself with his hands against the counter, trying his best to calm down.

"She was expecting you," He finally said softly.

Sheldon wasn't sure he heard him right, "What?"

"She was expecting you!" Leonard cried out, storming past Sheldon again and heading for the couch.

Sheldon's ears rang and fingertips tingled at this suggestion, "Me?"

"You, Raj, Howard," Leonard corrected. "She was expecting all of us. As friends."

Sheldon nodded his head, his momentary excitement dissipating at this clarification. "I see. Well, you did essentially tell her this would be a group outing."

Sheldon sat down carefully onto his spot next to Leonard.

"I just thought that maybe she would be excited that it would just be the two of us. But I was wrong. SO wrong," his eyes stared off into space. "She basically told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship. She could see right through me."

Sheldon wasn't sure what role he was supposed to play in this situation. It wasn't outlined in the Friendship Clause of the Roommate Agreement about what to do when a friend is down in the dumps about being rejected by a neighbor. He was also terrible at consoling people when they were upset. But he did have a protocol to follow.

"Would you like tea or coffee?" Sheldon asked, getting up from his spot and heading over to the kitchen.

Leonard narrowed his eyes, "What?"

"You're upset. It is customary to bring someone a hot beverage when they are upset," Sheldon explained. "So, tea or coffee?"

"Tea, I guess," Leonard sagged into the couch. Sheldon worked in silence as Leonard calmed down from his anger and embarrassment. The hurt began to settle in his chest.

Sheldon handed him a mug of hot water with a tea bag.

"How do you do it, Sheldon?" Leonard asked him, both of their eyes now focused on the program as Leonard steeped his tea.

"Do what?"

"Not care."

Sheldon squirmed in his spot, uncomfortable of where this line of questioning was going.

"I'm guessing you're referring to romantic entanglements with the opposite sex," Sheldon postulated.

"Yeah."

While usually Sheldon would provide a thorough lecture on the weakness of men submitting to their libidos to pursue coitus, and how he had his own goals that far surpassed and could be impeded by such expenditures, Sheldon felt less confident of his strength in this area due to his own recent developments with Penny. For once in Sheldon's life, he could almost sympathize with Leonard's situation, albeit from what he understood, they were having different intensities of reaction to their neighbor's presence in their lives.

"Mostly it's because of my own determination to win the Nobel," he began. "Nobody is more important than that. It leaves little room to worry about frivolous inquiries, especially matters of the heart."

"Maybe you've had it right all along," Leonard sighed. "You get to avoid these things the rest of us go through. Like heartbreak."

Sheldon thought Leonard was just being dramatic now. "While it's been my observation that pursuing romantic partners does usually end in a lot of unnecessary quarrel and resentment, it does seem that some partnering is successful." This was his best attempt at hopefulness for his friend.

"Well, this ship sunk before it even left the harbor," Leonard replied.

"I assume you're making a metaphor using the fandom slang term "ship" symbolizing a relationship."

"No," Leonard shook his head, "but I guess it also works for that too."

"An interesting fact about the word ship, or also can be known as keel which is the term derived from the Old English word for ship - it is thought by many language scholars to be the first word in the English language ever recorded in writing."

Leonard rolled his head toward is wacky roommate. He gave him a long, hard stare and then stood up from the couch.

"I'm going to bed," he announced. "Thanks for the tea."

Once Leonard had retired back to his room, Sheldon walked over to his white-board, drawing out his equations from earlier in the day. After his replication was complete, he stood back, studying the board. He found his intended target and added a derivation that his conversation with Leonard provided for him. He still didn't have any conclusions, or a clear path to take from here just yet, but he at least had a more complete examination of where potential paths could lead to.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I wouldn't take anymore dialogue from the episodes, but after revisitng this one, I just couldn't resist putting one small section in. You'll recognize it when you see it. So disclaimer - that dialogue is not mine and is instead pulled from the episode "The Hamburger Postulate". But the rest is of course, all mine. ;)

Chapter 5

"So Leonard, how did your date with Penny go?" Raj asked, while spooning some soup into his mouth.

The guys were seated at their usual table in the CalTech cafeteria. Howard and Raj had been waiting patiently all weekend to hear how Leonard's infamous date went on Friday night. How he bagged someone like Penny was beyond either of them. They knew he had a crush on her and that Penny seemed to like hanging out with everyone, but no one ever really thought she would date  _Leonard_. They were both in awe and just a little jealous.

Leonard averted his eyes from his two friends, "I really don't want to talk about that."

"She told him that she wasn't ready for a relationship," Sheldon chimed in.

Leonard's jaw dropped, "Sheldon! What are you doing?"

Sheldon was confused as to why Leonard was so upset, "You said you didn't want to talk about it. I have the knowledge, so I provided it for you."

Howard and Raj tried stifling their giggles.

"Usually when someone says they don't want to talk about something, it means they don't want  _anyone_ to talk about it," Howard tried explaining to him.

"Oh!" Sheldon's face lit up in realization. "I see. You didn't want to talk about it because you're embarrassed that she rejected you."

Leonard shook his head that was resting in between his hands, "Yes, Sheldon. Now can we all just drop it, please?"

Everyone went back to their food in front of them. Howard picked around at his plate with his fork, making a few failed attempts at bringing something up but deciding against it last minute. His tribulations didn't go unnoticed by Leonard. Finally, tired of seeing Howard flounder like a fish out of water, Leonard asked, "What is it that you want to say, Howard?"

Howard grinned sheepishly, "So, when Penny said she wasn't ready for a "relationship" did she mean like a you-kind of relationship with talks of moving in and getting a dog, or did she mean like any kind of relationship… even ones that only involve us ever seeing each other without our clothes?"

Leonard buried his face in his hands. Sometimes, he really, really hated his friends.

"Alright, you guys want to know, here it goes," He released the strained breath he had been holding. "Penny and I went out to have a nice dinner. She thought it was going to be a group dinner, like we've been doing, and she was disappointed the rest of you weren't there. Then, when I took her back home, she told me that she just wanted to be friends. With all of us.  _Only_  friends."

"Ahhh, so she friend-zoned you," Howard replied.

"No! If she friend-zoned anyone, she friend-zoned  _all_  of us," Leonard retorted, a warning lacing his words. He didn't like what Howard was trying to squeeze out of all of this.

"Hey, she didn't friend-zone me," Howard gestured to himself for emphasis. "I have set it up so that I'm never put in that situation because our interactions are always sexually charged."

"You mean you incessantly hit on her and she finds you disgusting," Raj corrected.

Howard made a face at him, annoyed that he was right. For now.

"What does that mean?" Sheldon asked the group. "Friend-zoned? It's not an expression I'm familiar with."

"Friend-zoned is when you're friends with a girl you like, but she doesn't want to start a romantic relationship with you because she just wants to be friends. Basically, it means that you don't have a chance so you're "zoned" off forever within the friendship boundaries," Leonard explained.

"And this is some kind of bad category to be in?"

"It's the worse," Howard laughed. "Basically after being nice to a girl - doing things for her, listening to her problems, hanging out with her while she forces you to do girly crap – you get nothing in return."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes, "But aren't those all qualities in a friend? I don't see why a woman wouldn't just assume that you were only trying to be her friend instead of pursuing a romantic relationship. And furthermore – if you enjoy her company so much to the point of wanting to have a romantic relationship with her, isn't it better for her to enjoy you as a friend rather than hating you?"

The guys stared at Sheldon dumbfounded and then exchanged glances with each other.

"Look," Leonard segwayed. "The point is this – yes, my date with Penny on Friday did not go as I had hoped, and she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship yet. But she might be in the future."

"And how long will that take?" Raj countered. "Face it, dude, Penny put you in the friend box, and while you're waiting for her to get over her ex-boyfriend, she's going to keep seeing you as a friend. Then she'll find some other guy to start dating as soon as she's ready."

Leonard frowned into his cream-corn.

"You should just find someone else to ask out," Howard offered.

"Yeah, like who?"

"How about Leslie Winkle!" Raj suggested.

"No!" Sheldon bellowed.

"Why not?" Leonard asked.

"Absolutely not. That woman is an egomaniac and a subscriber to loop-quantum gravity. Need I say more?"

Leonard turned away from him, ignoring his comment.

"I don't know if it's such a good idea," Howard hedged. "I mean, she does work in your lab. Things could be awkward if she turns you down."

"And why are you so convinced she would turn me down?" Leonard huffed through his bruised pride.

"I'm not saying she would," Howard held his hands up in defense. "I'm just saying you have to be cautious. Dating someone from work could lead to bad repercussions down the line. Believe me, I know."

"I don't think inviting Sunyoung Kim to take a ride on "Little Howie" - which you misguided her to think was your VESPA - and then her filing a restraining order on you qualifies as dating," Leonard countered.

"Fine, do what you want. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

"Doesn't anyone care what I think about this?" Sheldon exclaimed.

"No!" the other three stated in unison.

"I guess I always could ask her," Leonard thought to himself for a few moments. "I mean, she's smart. She works in my field. She's pretty cute. And she isn't taller than me, so that's a plus."

"So if you're going to ask out Leslie Winkle," Howard began. "Does that mean I can have Penny?"

Leonard answered him with a glare.

* * *

Sheldon was at a loss of what to do when it came to his roommate. First, today was Wednesday, which is new comic book day. But Leonard forwent driving him to the comic book store, and he had to ride with Raj instead because Leonard and Leslie Winkle were having some kind of orchestra practice in their apartment. After much convincing on Leonard's part that no one would dirty anything and he would put the furniture back exactly where it belonged, Sheldon allowed this strange date to occur. Second, because Leonard did not drive him to the comic book store, and Raj refused to take him anywhere else, Sheldon could not go to the grocery store to pick up some more Mountain Dew. And third, he came home, fortunately to his apartment completely in order, but unfortunately to loud music coming from Leonard's room with a tie hanging on the door knob.

He knew this must be some kind of symbol, but of what, he had no idea. He didn't know how to proceed.

He found himself standing in front of Penny's door, determining how he was going to phrase this question to ask her. When he found a suitable terminology, he knocked on her door.

 _Knock, knock, knock_.

He waited. Nothing.

 _Knock, knock, knock_.

Still nothing.

_Knock, knock, knock._

On the third knock, Penny swung the door open. He gave her body a once over as she leaned against the door frame. She was wearing a midriff revealing red top of some kind that made Sheldon nervous.

"What can I do for you, Sheldon?"

"I need your opinion on a matter of semiotics."

Penny shook her head, "I'm sorry?"

"Semiotics. The study of signs and symbols. It's a branch of philosophy and related to linguistics."

Penny sighed, wondering how she should put this for him.

"Okay, sweetie, I know you're trying to explain yourself but you're really not."

Sheldon licked his lips and blinked forcefully, his nerves too wound up from the situation at hand (and Penny's clothes) to address that at the moment.

"Just come with me."

Sheldon lead her into their apartment. Penny could hear Bryan Adams coming from the back of the hallway. They stopped at Leonard's door which had a red tie hanging from the knob.

"Well?" Sheldon waited.

"Well what?" Penny really didn't understand what he wasn't grasping here.

"What does it mean?"

"Oh come on! You went to college," Was she really going to have to spell it out for him?

"Yes, but I was eleven."

Penny rolled her eyes and sighed. It was time to have "the talk" with Sheldon.

"Okay, a tie on the doorknob usually means that someone doesn't want to be disturbed," Sheldon followed her explanation closely. "Because it means that they're… you know… getting busy."

Sheldon wracked his brain for a second and connected the euphemism "getting busy" with sex.

"So, you're saying that Leonard has a girl in there?" Sheldon asked, pointing to the door.

"Well, either that or he lost his tie rack and has gotten really into Bryan Adams."

Sheldon tried calculating the possibility of that being the explanation. It definitely was more probable then the former.

Just then, Leslie Winkle's deep voice moaned through the walls, "Oh Leonard, you magnificent beast."

Penny and Sheldon's backs straightened and their eyes widened in alarm.

"You know, we really shouldn't be standing here," Penny rushed off to the living room with Sheldon hot on her trail.

"This is very awkward," Sheldon grimaced.

"Oh, come on," Penny adjusted her top, attracting Sheldon's eyes. She sat at the end of the couch. "Leonard's had girls over before, right?"

"Yes, but there is usually planning, courtship, advance notice," all of which Leonard did do with Penny, but he seemed less enthusiastic about the Leslie situation working out. "Last time, I was able to book a cruise to the artic to see a solar eclipse."

Penny stared up at him in disbelief, "Wait. You had to leave the state because your roommate was having sex?"

"I didn't have to. The dates just happened to coincide."

"So," Penny leaned forward. "Do you know who's in there?"

"Well, there's Leonard," Sheldon answered. He grabbed for the violin case sitting on the couch. "And I would say either Leslie Winkle or a 1930s gangster."

"Good for him," Penny nodded her head _. Gee, that was fast_ , she thought to herself. Not five days ago he was on a date (which she didn't know was a date) with her and now he was in bed with another woman.  _Maybe all men really are the same._  "Good for Leonard."

"Alright, night!" Penny bounced up from the couch.

"No, no! Hold on!" Sheldon rushed after her again.

"What's the matter?" She turned to face him, keeping her hand on the door.

"I don't know what the protocol is here… Do I stay? Do I leave? Do I greet them with a refreshing beverage?"

Penny grinned, searching for an answer, "Gee, Sheldon, you're asking the wrong girl. I'm usually on the  _other_  side of the tie."

Sheldon paused, wondering what that meant. He then imagined Penny wrapped up in bed sheets, her bare arms splayed out around her head in post-coital relaxation. Penny was almost out the door once he came back to his senses, and he grabbed for the handle.

Penny was surprised when resistance came back on the door as she tried to close it. She let go of the knob to find Sheldon standing there, even twitchier then before.

"I can't stay here," he said. "But I don't have anywhere else to go."

Penny affectionately stared up at the tall, awkward man.  _Oh, what the hell?_  "Come on, you can stay with me at least until they're finished." She waved him over to her door.

 _Stay with Penny?_  Sheldon's mouth dried, and he tried to swallow. He hadn't spent a significant portion of time alone with Penny… well… ever.

As they entered Penny's apartment, Sheldon's heart stopped. He was expecting a disaster area like he had seen glimpses of in weeks past with clothes thrown about the apartment and dirty dishes cluttering up the kitchen. But it seemed the Penny had actually cleaned this place. It definitely didn't live up to his standards of cleanliness in his apartment, but he had to say he was actually impressed.

Penny watched in amusement as Sheldon looked around her apartment, almost as if he was inspecting the place. She had gotten a little self-conscious ever since hanging out with the boys. Their place was always so neat and orderly, and she knew that she could be lazy when it came to a few simple chores. She was just glad she had found some motivation yesterday because she could only imagine the stroke Sheldon would have if he came in here for the first time looking like it had been.

"Alright, sweetie, you can sit down," she patted the spot next to her after Sheldon had spent some time standing and looking around.

Sheldon gazed down at Penny. From this angle, he could almost see completely down her shirt, the round mounds of her breasts rising with her even breaths. Ever since Halo night, Penny had a thing about touching him. She would reach over him when Leonard would pass food to her and have her arms just barely graze his. Or she would laugh and grab for his bicep, which he always politely tried to wriggle out of. It was really her constant need to put her hands on his person that he suspected caused him to need to find release every night with his new routine. He could only imagine what she would try and do to him in the comfort of her own home.

"Oh, I wish it were that easy," Sheldon searched around for other places to sit. "As I have never been here before, I don't know where the most comfortable place in your apartment to sit is."

Penny frowned at him. "The couch is pretty comfy."

Sheldon nodded, "Yes, I'm sure it is, but I need to consider other things. Like air drafts, lighting, angles to appropriately watch television or talk to you. You see what I mean."

No, Penny really didn't. That was the whole reason the couch was placed in the center of the room, in front of the TV. But leave it to Dr. Sheldon Cooper, OCD to be a pain in the ass.

As Sheldon walked around the room, trying to find the perfect spot, Penny began to question him.

"So who is this Leslie Winkle? Is she another friend of yours?"

"Good lord, no!" Sheldon popped up from one of the wooden chairs at her table. "She is actually one of my enemies at CalTech. She is a crock-pot physicist who thinks she knows everything…"  _Sounds like someone I know_ , Penny quietly snorted. "When really her time would better be spent in some other field suited more for her intelligence like History or Chemistry."

Both of those seemed to be pretty impressive to Penny, but she knew already that Sheldon held physics in the highest regard above all other things.

"So you disapprove of Leonard making the beast with two backs with this woman?" Penny raised her eyebrows playfully.

Sheldon examined her bar stools, looking for any traces of grime or dirt. "Why would a beast have two backs? And if it has two of them, would it have two spinal cords as well?"

Penny rolled her eyes, "It's an expression, Sheldon. For sex."

"Oh! Right…" Sheldon perched on the bar stool, twisting it around to test it out. "But to answer your question, of course I disapprove. I made it very clear to Leonard that he shouldn't try to forget about your rejection by seeking out that woman. And now she's in my apartment, keeping me away from my room and things."

Penny watched in fascination as Sheldon perched his arm on the counter, trying to find a comfortable position. He almost looked "cool" for a second - if cool consisted of khaki, high-watering chinos and a lime-green shirt with a collared, pale blue thermal. As he twisted and posed, Penny noticed the angles of his gangly body. His strong jaw casted a definitive shadow against his long neck where his protruding Adam's apple bobbed as he spoke. He gave up on the stool and sat in the chair by her couch. His shoulders were skinny but broad, creating a nice triangle shape with his thin waist and hips.

This was the first time she had ever really looked at Sheldon in this way. Sure, she noticed before that he had some really nice hands, but the crazy man wasn't very conventionally attractive - at least not her usual type. She had done a good deal of pushing his buttons for the past few weeks, enjoying the way his face would redden or he would try and pull away from her touches. She knew he didn't like being touched (and it was probably mean of her to continue), but he never seemed to get angry - just squirmy and uncomfortable. Penny half wondered if maybe he actually secretly liked it and that was really what was motivating her; besides the fact that Sheldon deserved a little bit of torture now and again.

Sheldon found the chair to be adequately comfortable. It had a good angle with the television and also to converse with Penny, but her lamp shot an awkward glare in his eyes. He sighed to himself. It seemed he would probably have to sit next to Penny after all.

Sheldon tried to inconspicuously walk between Penny and her coffee table, turning his back to her. But it proved impossible not to have his legs brush against hers as he shimmied over to the other end of the couch. Penny grinned, finishing her evaluation of his body with the adorableness of his flat tush in those ill-fitting pants. She propped her elbow on the back of the couch, facing him as he tried to get settled.

Sheldon found this seat on the couch to be a perfectly reasonable place to be in Penny's apartment. He turned to inform Penny he found his spot but was halted by her intense stare. He looked into her green eyes, noticing the dilation of her pupils, and tried to determine what her expression could possibly mean. Penny had never looked at him this way before, so he had no prior evidence to base any assumptions.

When Sheldon met her gaze, Penny felt a small gasp lodge into her throat as she noticed the depths of his blue eyes. They were large, round, and very deep. Penny knew she had looked at Sheldon in the face, and even in his eyes before. But she had never  _really_  looked. Despite Sheldon's flat demeanor and monotone style of speech, his eyes seemed to be very expressive, as if compensating for what he wouldn't allow the rest his body to communicate.

Penny smiled brightly, enjoying appreciating Sheldon in this new way.

"So did you find the spot you were looking for?" she asked him, watching him settle against the cushions.

"Yes, it appears your first suggestion was adequate."

"Well that can now be your spot whenever you're in my apartment. Even if someone else wants to sit there, they can't have it," she playfully offered.

A warm sensation spread from his torso through his limbs. People usually weren't so nice to him, especially about what they considered to be his "quirks". He looked down at his folded hands in his lap, shyly responding, "Thank you, Penny."

They sat in a long, but comfortable silence, neither sure of how to proceed. They didn't have a lot of things in common to talk about. Sheldon was sure if he brought up comic books, TV shows, or video games, she wouldn't have read, seen, or played most of them (except for Halo, and he really would rather avoid talking about that). He thought back to his spot in his own apartment, and he longed to be there reading his new comic books that he bought today.

"How long, generally speaking, does a session of coitus last?" Sheldon asked her. "I just want to know when it would probably be safe to go back there."

Penny smiled warmly at him. He really had no clue, did he? "It depends. If she is staying over, it could go on all night?"

Sheldon opened his eyes wide in alarm, "All night? But they would have to get tired, right?"

"Well, not  _all_  night. But maybe throughout the night they would sleep, have sex, sleep, have sex. Or, they could have sex and go to sleep. Or she could leave after they're done. There really is no way to tell."

Sheldon frowned. It appeared he was trapped.

Penny scooted closer to him, folding her legs Indian style in front of her, "Why do you call it that?" She asked.

"What?"

"Why do you call sex "coitus"?"

Sheldon was unsure of why she was asking him this, "It's just another term for sexual intercourse. It literally means the insertion of the male's penis into a female until ejaculation."

"It just sounds very clinical and cold," Penny asserted.

"Well how else am I supposed to characterize it?"

Penny narrowed her eyes at her neighbor, a question that had been burning in her brain for some time now based on some suggestive jokes the other guys made at Sheldon's expense, surfacing again. "You're a virgin, aren't you?"

A wave of embarrassment hit Sheldon across the face. It had been his experience that when someone asked him this, it was followed by some kind of mocking jest or teasing. He was always forever labeled a freak in their eyes. He hated that other people seemed to feel entitled to know the status of his sexuality – however little it may be.

"Yes, though I don't see how that is relevant."

Penny immediately picked up on his defensiveness and reached out to console him. Sheldon pulled away from her before she could touch him, scooting to the furthest end of the couch.

"I'm not trying to make fun of you, sweetie," she promised. "I'm only curious. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin."

Sheldon straightened his hunched shoulders, holding his chin up, "I know that. But the rest of the world seems to think it's unnatural."

Penny turned her head to the side, the corners of her mouth pulling down, "So are you a virgin by choice then?"

Sheldon nodded his head.

"Do you mind if I ask why? Like what are your reasons."

Sheldon found it strange and uncomfortable to be discussing this with her of all people, especially after spending night after night, imagining the two of them in various embraces and stages of intercourse. He folded his arms into his lap once more.

"I find romantic relationships to be cumbersome and unnecessary. I have very specified, difficult goals that most people will never achieve, and I would rather not be distracted by the endless pursuit of chasing after women that other men obsess themselves with."

Penny nodded her head understandingly. She really hoped her next question wouldn't cause him to run for the door.

"Sheldon…are you… gay?"

Sheldon heaved a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, "No, I am not a homosexual. If I were to engage in coitus, it would be with a female. But I don't."

Penny continued to nod her head. "So, are you asexual then?"

"Do I reproduce by making clones of myself? Though highly unlikely, to be honest, I've never tried."

Penny tried to hold back a snicker. After composing herself, she continued, "So you just never wanted to even try it? Like, I understand why you might not want to now what with your goals and things, but like you never considered it? Even when you were younger?"

Sheldon paused, thinking back to his youth. There was never really a turning point he would say where he went from wanting to have sex to abstaining. He distinctly remembered having a sex drive (and apparently, no thanks to Penny, still had a ferocious one). But somewhere along the years of going to school and trying to form his career surrounded by people who were never his physical peers, this idea just became his own philosophy.

"I'm… I'm not really sure," he honestly answered.

Penny knew her time was up on her probing questions, and she didn't want to make Sheldon feel any more uncomfortable then he already was. She turned back around, putting her back against the couch. She stretched her legs out onto the coffee table, her arms extending far behind her head.

Sheldon watched Penny stretch out of the corner of his eye, more and more of her midriff being exposed to him. Her capris rested low on her hips, and her shirt rose to just below her ribcage as she stretched her thin body like a tired feline. Her tummy has smooth and flat and it appeared that her skin was very soft. One thing Sheldon had noticed about Penny over the weeks is her skin always seemed to be soft; at least much softer than his own. His brain collected this new data about Penny's body, and he was sure he would use it later in the night when he revisited this conversation and changed the outcome for his own purposes.

Sheldon's bashful exploration of her body did not go unnoticed by Penny. She had caught his sneaky glances at her for a while now, and it made his answers to her questions all the more curious.  _Definitely not asexual_ , she determined. But she was still confused as to why she could clearly see that Sheldon had attraction to women (or at the very least her) but never wanted to act on it. She found the idea of him wanting and desiring but hiding under his cold, hard shell to be quite sad.

"Can I ask you a question?" Sheldon unfolded himself and adjusted his body to face her more fully.

"Shoot."

"Was there another reason you didn't want to date Leonard other then you friend-zoning him?"

Penny raised an eyebrow, "Friend-zoning?"

"Don't ask me," Sheldon snorted in derision. "Leonard and Wolowitz tried to explain it to me, but their logic was unsound and incomplete. However, it was how they referred to your actions towards Leonard on Friday night."

Penny shook her head.  _Men. So typical_. "Fyi - that's a ridiculous term - but they're basically right. I only really want to be Leonard's friend. I'm not sure how I feel about him in that sense, and I would really rather not string him along in case it doesn't work out. He deserves better than that."

Sheldon eyed Penny closely.

"What?" She asked.

"It's just strange," he began. "Usually, women like you – blonde, attractive, extroverted, likeable by most of society… they're not very nice to guys like Leonard and me – unless they're trying to gain some kind of favors. But you're just genuinely nice."

Penny's heart swelled in her chest. She wanted to throw her arms around him and cry into his shoulder. She didn't really know why his observation touched her in such a way. Maybe because it was nice to be valued as something other than just pretty? She was nice in Sheldon's eyes.

"Thank you, sweetie," she wiped at her lid. "I really like you guys. I don't understand why anyone would be mean to you. And if anyone is mean to you again – especially those girls like me – you let me know, and I'll go all Nebraska on their asses."

"I'm not entirely sure how you can act out a state, but thank you anyway for the sentiment."

* * *

When it was close to bedtime, Sheldon left Penny's apartment and returned to his own, thanking her again for allowing him sanctuary. There was no longer any music coming from Leonard's room, though the tie still hung on the doorknob. He could only assume that Leslie was still present, but that she and Leonard were resting from their amorous activities. Sheldon fell right to sleep after touching himself to the thought of Penny showing him on her couch exactly what he had been missing all of these years. Sheldon wasn't entirely sure when this ritual turned from experimentation to enjoyment, but he was almost positive that he couldn't stop now.

In the morning, Sheldon trudged into the kitchen rubbing his sleepy eyes. As he passed his board something off-kilter caught his peripheral attention.

"Oh, god," he bent forward, holding his abdomen as if in pain. "My board… Someone touched my board! Leonard!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on the episode "The Middle-Earth Paradigm". From here on out, the story is really going to take an AU turn based on what happens in this chapter.

Chapter 6

Decked out in their paintball gear and covered with blue splatter marks, the four guys trudged up the stairs donning frowns of defeat.

"This is what happens when you don't follow the chain of command," Sheldon griped.

"Let it go, Sheldon," Leonard drug his feet in exasperation. "You've been complaining about this since we left."

"I will not let it go! I have every right to be upset. We had a perfect battle plan and you all took the coward's way out. They have a name for you in war, and its parlor soldiers."

"Sheldon, we were playing paintball against Kyle Bersteins' Bar Mitzah party and "storming" their zone like it was freakin' D-Day wasn't in anyway a 'perfect battle plan'," Howard responded, rolled his eyes at the tall genius.

"I was the only one doing any storming," he gestured to his clothes which were significantly more covered in paintball stains then the rest of them. "Which is what I ended up having to do because the rest of you gave up to go to Denny's."

"Which we still haven't because you forgot to wear clothes under your paintball suit," Raj folded his arms in a pout.

"I didn't forget! You know I overheat easily! Could you imagine me wearing my thermal and a t-shirt  _and_  this jumpsuit?"

Raj was about to interject, pointing out he didn't have to always where his long-sleeve shirts, but Leonard stopped him, "Don't even bother. If we just ignore him, maybe he'll go away."

Sheldon turned to scold him when he was interrupted by Penny bounding down the steps of the stairwell, "Oh hi, guys!"

"Hi!" "Heyyyy." "Hello." The three without selective mutism said in unison.

"What have you guys been up to?" She asked with a sly smirk.

"Penny," Sheldon shook his head. "You really need to work on your powers of deduction. Clearly we have been paintballing since we are all wearing paintball gear and covered in paint."

Penny eyed him with a warning smile, "And you really need to work on your comprehension of tone, sweetie."

Sheldon blinked his eyes rapidly and looked down to the ground, taking a second to realize what she meant.

"Just so you guys know, I'm throwing a Halloween party on Saturday and you're all invited!" Penny clapped her hands and smiled widely at them.

"Is this like… a boy/girl party?" Howard approached her cautiously, raising his eyebrows.

Penny narrowed her eyes, "Yes… there will be boys and there will be girls."

"Oh, we're so coming," he nodded his head at the others.

"So, Penny," Leonard spoke up. "Will this be like… a costume party?"

"Of course! It's Halloween!"

This alerted Sheldon's attention, "What is the theme?"

She returned his question with a confused expression, "Um, Halloween?"

He shook his head, "Is it general or genre specific?"

"Like usual, I'm not following."

"He's asking whether we can come as anyone from science fiction, fantasy…"

Sheldon filled in the rest, "Anime, comic books, D&D, film, TV, Norse Gods, Roman Gods…"

"Anything you want!" Penny held her hands out in front of her in surrender. "Seriously, anything you want."

As she passed by them, she patted Sheldon on his cheek scrunching her nose affectionately at him. He froze. Too alarmed to pull away or inform her she was not allowed to just put her hands on him willy-nilly like they were a bunch of hippies in a lovefest. His skin warmed where her slender hand made contact and left a lingering tingle as she pulled away. Sheldon twitched and licked his lips, stunned into submission.

He reached up to trace his jaw where her hand had been when Wolowitz announced, "To the sewing machines!"

* * *

After several hours spent at their white boards and one mishap where they all showed up as the Flash, by Saturday evening, the guys were dressed and ready to go to Penny's party. An hour early.

"How early do you think is too early to show up to a party?" Raj asked, twirling his blonde wig with his finger.

"Well, we definitely shouldn't show up any time before seven," Leonard declared. The other three leaned in closely for his explanation, "We don't want to seem like losers who didn't have anything else better to do."

"But we don't have anything else better to do," Sheldon pointed out.

"Yes, but we don't want Penny thinking that."

"You've got to get over this Penny crush," Howard groaned while standing up to adjust his tights. "Leslie was the one who actually rejected you but you're still going on about Penny."

" _I_  need to get over _my_  Penny crush?" Leonard huffed in his seat. "What about you? All you do is hit on her like you actually have a chance."

"But I don't focus all of my attention on just Penny," Howard argued. "I spread my wings. You don't know how many women I'm trying to get with. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket. That's the difference."

"So because I have standards and am not trying to hook up with every woman in a 20-mile radius, I'm somehow more pathetic?"

Howard sensed the anger in Leonard's voice, "Look, I didn't say that. I'm just saying that…"

Leonard cut him off. "I know what you're saying. Everyone just drop the me and Penny thing. There is no me and Penny. I've realized that, and we don't have to comment on it anymore."

The guys averted their eyes from each other to the floor, none of them knowing what to say now with this awkward ban being placed on them. Sheldon squirmed in his spot. He held his tongue as long as he could, but his compulsion was too potent.

"Leonard, I think what you meant to say…"

Leonard halted his grammatical correction with a withering look.

"Nevermind."

* * *

They decided to step out of the apartment at exactly 7:00pm. Their first attempt across the hall was short lived as Raj suggested the "fashionably late" rule. They debated for two minutes and 27 seconds on exactly what qualified as "fashionably" late and decided that 7:05 would be suitable. For the remaining 2 minutes and 33 seconds, they stood in the hallway, trying to look like they were just casually hanging around in case anyone showed up. Fortunately, no one did, and they proceed to head to Penny's.

The knock at Penny's door alarmed her. She wasn't expecting anyone this early. Opening the door, her momentary confusion subsided at the sight of the guys decked out in their elaborate costumes and hopeful grins plastered on their faces.

"Hi guys," she greeted hesitantly. "You're here for the party pretty early."

They exchanged worried glances.

"But it's 7:05," Sheldon declared.

Penny pursed her lips and nodded her head, "Yes, it is. Well, come in," she gestured them through her door. "I was just setting up some snacks and drinks. You guys can help yourselves."

Sheldon looked around her empty apartment, "Penny… no one is here yet for your party."

"Nice deduction skills, Sherlock," she sarcastically answered. "Usually when you say you're having a party at seven… no one shows up at seven."

"Well that's just rude," Sheldon folded his arms across his chest.

She smiled and took in all of their costumes for the first time.

"Aww, look how cute all of you look!" She walked up to them one by one. "Leonard, you're a … hairy elf?"

"A hobbit," he grinned.

"Of course," she patted his shoulder and moved onto Raj, "And you're Thor!"

Raj gave her a thumbs up.

"And Howard! You're Peter Pan!" She squealed. Howard's face fell.

"I'm Robin Hood."

"Oh," Penny looked him over again and then giggled. "Sorry, I just don't see it. That's definitely a Peter Pan costume." Howard pouted, his quiver hanging low to the floor.

Penny skipped over to Sheldon who was inspecting her chip bowl. After studying his costume for a moment, she could honestly say she had no idea what he was intending to be. It was black with white, vertical stripes and a single dot in the center of his chest. It somehow made him look impossibly taller and thinner. Leave it to Sheldon to even make a Halloween costume complicated.

Sheldon straightened up when he noticed Penny standing next to him, inspecting his costume. He held out his arms, inviting her to guess what he was.

"I don't know, Sheldon," she theatrically placed her hand on her chin. "I think you've stumped me."

"I'll give you a hint," he fisted his hands together behind his back, trying to contain his excitement. "Light."

Penny stared.

"Sound?"

She lifted the corner of her mouth and shrugged in apology.

"Weather." He raised his eyebrows as if the sheer force of his expression would will the answer out of her.

She reluctantly shook her head.

Sheldon huffed, "Trains!"

Penny furrowed her groomed brows. Sound… weather… trains…. Sound… trains…. "Oh!" She jumped in the air, startling him. "The Doppler Effect!"

Sheldon's eyes popped open, "Very good, Penny."

She smiled proudly at herself, "It's pretty much the only thing I remember from any of my science classes because my uncle lost an arm walking drunk on a railroad track at night. We always wondered why he didn't hear it coming."

Albeit, an odd and terrible story, Sheldon felt a stirring in his chest at Penny guessing his costume – and with his clue 'trains' at that.

Penny told them to make themselves at home as she left to shower and change for the party. As she got ready, her thoughts wandered to how the night would turn out. She invited people from work and old mutual friends that she and Kurt shared who she hadn't seen since the break-up. And then there were her geeky neighbors with their nerd posse. She wasn't sure how well they would mesh in with her old clique. Not that they weren't all wonderful in their own ways, but she knew her friends could be a bit judgmental. She hoped, if anything, they could have a good time tonight. She had a feeling they weren't invited to parties like this often.

This party was her chance at trying another go at her old life. She had spent a few months now settling into her new place and avoiding Kurt completely. Part of that was staying away from their old friends. But after rekindling a bit, she decided to throw a Halloween party to show all of them that she was making it just fine on her own (running short on a few bills aside). She was also considering dating again. She asked a few of the girls at work to invite any single guy friends. She also made it a point to ask her closest friend before her break up with Kurt, Natalie, to invite Stew over. Stew was a guy who she only met a few times through some mutual friend but felt like they had chemistry. She never flirted with him or anything like that because she was with Kurt at the time. But maybe if she played her cards right tonight, she could get a date out of this whole evening.

Kurt, on the other hand, was definitely NOT invited. She made it a point to tell everyone to not tell him about the party and if somehow he found out, that he was not allowed to be there. She just really hoped he listened.

She returned to the living room to find the guys exactly how she left them: Leonard, Raj and Sheldon smashed together on her little couch with Howard sitting in the chair off to the side. They didn't know what to do with themselves at a party that hadn't started yet, so they chose to just sit there and wait for someone to show up. Raj was already nervously eating from one of Penny's chip bowls (and candy bowl and pretzel bowl). Penny noticed Sheldon sitting in his spot that she had designated for him a few weeks before. She smiled at the way he was hunched over on himself, squeezed into the arm of the couch. He shook his head in disapproval as Howard showed them the condoms he had stored in his quiver.

"Having fun, guys?" Penny asked, pulling out some liquor bottles she bought just for tonight (and told herself she would drink very sparingly).

They all turned their eyes and nearly went into cardiac arrest. Penny wore a tiny, revealing cat costume that had black, fluffy fur in all the right places. Her tail bobbed up and down behind her as she set up the drinks for her party. Sheldon turned his eyes quickly away, sensing the familiar stirring in his pants. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

_This party is awful._

First, Stew didn't show up, her plans for finding cute, single guys completely thrown out the window. Then, someone spilled beer all over her chair which threw Sheldon into a hissy fit, trying to clean up the mess and searching around her house for the "proper" stain remover. He ended up going back to his apartment and scrubbing her chair right in front of everyone. This put a target on his back the rest of the night, and Penny found herself having to defend him and the rest of her "weird friends". Howard resorted to doing some magic for a bunch of drunken girls, and when he pulled a condom out of someone's ear, he was clocked in the nose. Leonard and Sheldon both just sat on the couch the entire night following her with their eyes as she made her rounds around the room. No one even knew where Raj disappeared to. Nobody could guess what Sheldon was, and he proceeded to insult each of her guests as they tried to approach him. The only good part of the night was that she kept to her promise to hold back on the drinking – and that was mostly because she had to keep running either entertaining her guest or smoothing things over between the guys and everyone else.

Now Sheldon was nervously picking up people's cups sitting around her apartment, trying to dispose of them. He was getting a lot of weird stares so Penny ran over to stop him before anyone said anything mean.

"Sheldon!" She hissed. "What are you doing?"

Curved over his collection of cups, Sheldon continued stacking, "What does it look like? I'm trying to clean. These people have no respect for your apartment, Penny."

Shoving him into her kitchen, she held him in place in front of the trash can, "Drop 'em."

Sheldon did as he was told.

Penny forcefully turned him around to face her. Pointing a finger in his face, she demanded, "Now you listen to me. You know I don't care about your wack-a-doodle obsessions. But this is a party and you're supposed to be having fun. Not cleaning up the place in front of everyone!"

"But Penny!" He whined. "How am I supposed to have "fun" if the trash just keeps piling up?"

"I don't know but figure it out! No more cleaning! You hear me?" She placed her hands on her hips.

Sheldon frowned deeply, "Yes."

Penny grabbed a hold of his wrist and dragged him back over to Leonard, "Leonard, please try and keep an eye on him."

"Sure, Penny," Leonard smiled and she stomped off to go laugh with another group. She hadn't talked to Leonard all night, it seemed.

"I don't want to be here anymore," Sheldon pouted in his spot.

"It's Penny's party! We can't just leave."

"Why not?"

"Because, it would be rude," Leonard explained. He folded his arms against his chest.

A large shadow was casted on them from a familiar, hulkish man standing in the doorway.

Penny's felt her stomach bottom out at the sight of Kurt. He wore a skimpy loin cloth, ready to parade his body around in front of her and the rest of her guests.  _Oh god, this cannot be happening._

Sheldon watched with intense focus as Penny hurried over to her ex-boyfriend. He tuned his auditory attention in to hear what they were saying.

"Why are you here?" She asked, softly stomping a foot on the ground.

Kurt gave her a wicked smile, "Oh, was I not invited?"

Penny folded her arms over her chest, "You know you weren't."

"Well, since I'm here…" he shoved past her and threw his hands up in the air as he spotted a group of his male friends. "Heyyy!"

Penny felt helpless. This was a disaster. A complete a total disaster. She wanted to scream, throw everyone out and just crawl into a hole and die. Why did he have to show up? Why couldn't she just open her mouth and demand him to leave?

"Penny?" Leonard hesitantly got her attention. She tore her gaze away from Kurt and looked at Leonard and Sheldon standing next to her now. They sheepishly peered at her with concern in their eyes. "Are you okay?"

"No," she shook her head. "But I will be."

"We could ask Kurt to leave, you know?" Leonard offered, really hoping she didn't take him up on it.

Penny looked at her boys. And they were that.  _Her boys_. They were the sweetest guys she had ever met, and they didn't expect anything else from her in return. But she knew if she was going to do anything, she couldn't have them handle her Kurt problem. She had to do it on her own this time.

"That's very sweet, but no thanks. I appreciate it though."

Leonard and Sheldon released a synchronized sigh of relief. Their relaxation did not last long; however, when they felt Kurt's looming presence hovering over their shoulders.

"Hey, look, it's those freaks that tried to get your TV from me," he slapped both of them on their shoulders.

Penny's heart ached in her chest as she watched Leonard and Sheldon cower beneath Kurt's strong grasp.

"Leave them alone, Kurt," Penny shook her head, wanting this whole night to be over.

Kurt pinpointed his eyes on her. "Oh come on, I'm just having a little fun with them. Isn't that right boys? You know I'm just kidding.

Penny folded her arms and frowned, looking away from him nervously.

"I find it very funny that you guys came to get my TV from me and here you are, at Penny's party," a half smile formed on his face. "So… which one of you is trying to fuck my girlfriend?"

Penny flushed, too horrified to say anything while Leonard and Sheldon exchanged worried glances.

"Is it you?" Kurt looked down at Leonard. Leonard responded by averting his eyes. Kurt then turned his attention to Sheldon, getting close to his face, "What about you, string bean? Do you want some of that fine ass over there?"

"Kurt…" Penny warned, but it came out strained and weak.

Sheldon and Leonard stayed silent. They were dealing with Kurt as they dealt with all bullies throughout their life: by shutting up and waiting until it's over.

Kurt pushed off of their shoulders and walked over to Penny, "Well you can't have her, boys." He put his arm around her shoulder. "She belongs to me."

"I don't belong to anyone," Penny pushed his arm away. "Especially not you."

Kurt grabbed for her again, "Come on, baby…"

"Stop touching me," she swatted at his hands and moved backwards.

Penny wilted in her spot as she watched his face ice over. He grabbed her by the jaw, stifling his anger with coercing affection in his voice.

"Penny," he said deeply. "You know we're always going to be together. That's just the way it is."

"She asked you not to touch her," Sheldon spoke up, noticing the pain in Penny's eyes. He could feel all of the physiological categorizations of fear wracking his body.

Kurt turned around, pushing Penny's face from his hand. Penny rubbed her jaw. She was sure she would have a bruise tomorrow.

"So it's you then, string bean," he slowly made his way over to Sheldon, not stopping until they were chest to chest. Kurt took in a deep breath, puffing his chest out, making him look impossibly bigger. Sheldon backed up into the side of the couch, focusing on his feet. "You're the one who wants to fuck her?"

Sheldon couldn't believe he hadn't passed out yet, "You…you shouldn't t-t-talk in front of a woman like that."

"Oh yeah," Sheldon could smell the liquor on Kurt's breath. "Why don't you make me?"

Kurt shoved Sheldon then, his powerful hands pounding blows into his shoulders as Sheldon fell on top of the arm of the couch.

"Kurt!" Penny screamed. "Stop it!"

A rage boiled over inside Penny like she had never felt before. She marched over to Kurt, inserted herself in between him and Sheldon and pushed him as hard as she could.

"Get out! Get out now!" She screamed, pounding her fists into his chest.

"But baby…" he was flabbergasted by her reaction. He had never seen her this angry at him before.

Penny stood her ground, "Are you stupid  _and_  deaf? I said GET OUT!"

Kurt looked around at all of the other guests who were now staring at the scene. "Come on, baby. Let's just go out into the hall and talk for a minute."

"No," Penny didn't avert her eyes. "I'm never going anywhere with you again. You've hurt me enough and now you're hurting my friends. Go."

Kurt held his head up high, "Fuck this shit. You're not even fucking worth it. Go fuck your fucking freak friends." He turned on his heel and stormed out.

Leonard and Sheldon stood in awe of Penny in that moment. Her arms were gripped into fists at her sides. Her head was pointed up, staring Kurt down until he was completely gone. Leonard had never seen anything so beautiful in his life, and Sheldon was brought back to his first fantasy of Penny as the woman warrior.

Penny could feel the energy leaking from her body as the moment really settled in for her. She didn't even look around the room before she ran to her bedroom and locked herself inside.

* * *

Penny took a swig of the remaining bottle of vodka. All of her party guests left immediately after Kurt, sensing that the party was over. No one said goodbye to her, except for a quiet knock by Leonard at her bedroom door, wondering if she was okay. She didn't answer him and waited for him to leave before she finally came out.

Her thoughts were clouded with drunken haziness. A part of her felt strong for standing up to Kurt that way. She never could yell at him like that in all of the years they were dating. She wasn't sure what in that particular moment truly sent her over, but she couldn't stand watching Kurt bully someone else the same way he bullied her for years. However, her whole body shook, still coming down from her adrenaline high. She knew a lot of her old friends wouldn't talk to her after this. Kurt would make them take sides – hell bent on punishing her after she embarrassed him in front of everyone.

Three knocks rapped at her door.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

Penny could tell it was Sheldon. Not only was his knock identical to the other times he has come over to ask her a question or remind her it was laundry night, but also because only Sheldon would knock so orderly. Somewhere along the line, he added calling her name out to his ritual. She swayed as she stumbled over to the door to open it.

Sheldon was alarmed at the sight before him. Penny still wore her kitty costume, but her ears, tail, and whiskers had been removed. Her hair was still in its tight ponytail on top of her head but now it drooped off to one side. Her face was red and blotchy, obvious to even him that she had been crying.

Penny sniffled as she took in Sheldon's pajamas. He wore a red and black plaid number with a matching plaid robe. He also wore brown leather slippers on his feet. Penny couldn't distinguish whether he was dressed more like a little boy or an old man. But she determined that whatever it was, it was definitely Sheldon.

"What do you want, Sheldon?" She asked, taking another swig of her bottle and bracing herself in the door frame..

He frowned at the liquor bottle in her hand and then searched behind her, wondering where he should start first. "I've come to clean your apartment. I couldn't sleep knowing that just beyond my bedroom door, through my apartment, behind my front door, down the hallway, and through your front door was this chaotic mess."

"Sweetie," her voice cracked with exhaustion. "You really don't have to do this right now. I'm going to handle it in the morning."

"No, it must be done now," Sheldon pushed past her and headed to her kitchen to pull a trash bag out from under her sink. He started packing cans and bottles into it as he scurried around her place.

Penny watched him for a few moments as she settled back onto the couch. His whole attention was trained to the task at hand. She knew he wasn't doing it as a favor for her, but it felt as if he cared about her right then. She thought back to what he said to Kurt, just before she kicked him out.

"Thank you, Sheldon," she called out to him. "For doing this. And for what you said earlier."

"I said many things earlier. What exactly are you referring to?" Sheldon asked, genuinely confused.

"When you told Kurt to leave me alone. No one ever stood up to him like that for me before."

Sheldon nodded his head, returning to his task. Penny didn't like his silence.

"Why did you do it? You were so terrified, and Kurt is just so much bigger then you. He would have tried to beat you up or embarrass you in front of the whole party."

Sheldon continued to clean and waited several moments before whispering, "He was hurting you."

A warm silence fell between them.

"Any man with any integrity," Sheldon continued, "will not let another man hurt a woman, even if he is hurt himself."

Penny shook her head, "Well, any woman with intelligence would have never let him walk through that front door." Her eyes began to well up with tears again, "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have even let it escalate to that."

Sheldon stopped his ministrations and looked over at Penny sobbing on the couch. It startled him how uncomfortable her cries made him, "Penny, why are you upset?"

"Because Sheldon!" She moaned into her hands. "I'm just so stupid for even dating him in the first place. I just let him walk all over me all the time. And then when he showed up, I was just so scared!"

Sheldon put the trash bag down on the floor and hesitantly approached her standing to the side of the couch, "Penny, what you did today was one of the bravest things I have ever witnessed."

Penny jolted her head up in surprise, "What?"

Sheldon clarified, "When you told Kurt to leave your apartment today. That was the bravest thing I've ever seen. You not only saved me but you stood up to probably one the biggest men I've ever encountered in my life."

Penny wiped her eyes, "No, Sheldon. I'm not brave. That was just… He shoved you. I couldn't let him treat you like that."

Sheldon nodded his head, "Exactly. You risked your own safety for mine. That is the exact kind of sacrifice that all super heroes make."

He picked up the trash bag again and returned to cleaning.

Penny stared at him in awe. Sheldon Cooper thought she was brave. She had never even considered the possibility before. Warmness swelled in her chest and she felt her body being propelled forward towards him. She had an urge and whether it was how drunk she was or just her natural tendency to react– she was not going to stop and analyze it and decide whether it was the right idea.

Sheldon turned when he noticed her approaching him. Before he could ask what she was doing, she wrapped her arms across his shoulder, hers hands grabbing him by the neck. She pressed her mouth to his, closing her eyes and relaxing herself against his tall body.

For the first time in Sheldon Cooper's conscious existence, his brain came to a halt. He never understood the phrase "clear your thoughts" because it was physically impossible for him to achieve. His mind was always analyzing, solving equations, remembering facts, imagining alternate worlds, or focusing on whatever he was doing in that moment. But when Penny pushed her body against his own, her mouth forming a seal on his lips, everything silenced. All that existed were her fingers grasping at the ends of his short hair, her bare arms resting against his shoulders, her breasts grazing of his chest, and her soft lips pressed firmly to his own. It took one breath for Sheldon's brain to restart again, alerting him to the situation at hand.

Penny groaned as she felt one of Sheldon's slender hands touch her exposed hips, but was sorely disappointed when he pushed her away from his body. She released her hold around his neck, her lips peeling off his own. Her whole body vibrated with a new sense of urgency that tickled her spine. She stared up at him in confusion, seeing the panic behind his eyes.

"I have to go," he dropped the trash bag on the ground and rushed out the door.

"No, Sheldon!" she called after him but he was already gone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very introspective on both Penny and Sheldon's parts. Also - note the M rating. As far as the rest of this story goes, the Mature rating is going to be relevant for just about all the chapters. So if that isn't something you're into, you've been warned.

Chapter 7

Sheldon frantically scribbled on his whiteboard, his penmanship becoming sloppy after staying up all night after Penny kissed him. At first, Sheldon ran to his room, hiding under his covers for a few hours and trying to forget she had ever done so. But as he laid there in the dark, still wearing his robe and slippers, the lingering sensation of her lips on his kept him from his slumber. Like most things, Sheldon had a basic understanding of neuroscience, and coupled with his eidetic memory, he understood that something about the kiss caused his primary somatosensory cortex to reimagine it on a continuous loop, causing his lips to tingle as if she had only pulled away seconds rather than hours ago.

He resorted to the only thing that brought him comfort in this world: numbers. If he could just dissect out why Penny kissed him, why his brain was so fixated on the physicality of the action, and what to do about this shift in their neighbor dynamic, he could solve all of his problems with the woman next door. There had to be a logical explanation for this. So Sheldon drew out his equations that he has designated as his Penny functions.

Her kiss had given him a new input that he wasn't sure how to fit into his other equations. Before, for most of their interactions he only examined his own perspective and reactions to her. He had little evidence that Penny treated him any differently than Leonard, Howard, or Raj. However, her kissing him presented a totally new paradigm that he was sure set him apart from his male counterparts.

One – Sheldon was attracted to Penny in a sexual manner. She elicited arousal responses in him that he had never experienced with another member of the opposite sex before. It also appeared that his arousal was directly correlated with Penny's proximity to his person; more specifically, whenever she touched him unexpectedly or affectionately. He had no final conclusions about how to proceed to cure this condition. His earlier masturbation experiment was a bust and at the time, there were no alternative hypotheses that he could test.

Two – Until last night, Penny seemed to have only a strained, platonic interest in Sheldon. While Sheldon recognized that Penny was probably one of the nicer people he had met in his life, he did understand that she also found him frustrating – as he did her. While he had met several individuals in his life that he felt he had little in common with - especially considering just how extraordinary he was in so many aspects - Penny seemed to contradict him in almost every area including personality, preferences, social and nonsocial behaviors, and problem solving. This caused for great strides in their friendship of propinquity. Sheldon felt the need to correct her more often than others. Penny always responded to him in a combative manner.

Three – Penny kissed him. She was emotional (which seemed to be the primary mode that Penny operated at all times) due to her confrontation with Kurt and also highly intoxicated. However, she kissed him in a manner that he determined was genuine and due to her own motivations.

Which brought him to four – Penny was attracted to him. He wasn't sure when this started or if she experienced the same level of attractiveness that he had for her; but it was obvious to Sheldon that on some level Penny must also be responding to him on some kind of physical level as well. It also made sense as to why she went about touching him so often. It seemed that Penny's body similarly had some kind of desire that needed to be satiated.

* * *

Penny's head ached. She hadn't had a hangover like this in quite a long time. The high afternoon sun bleeding into her room burned holes into her eyes as she tried to open them. She settled for rolling over and burying her head under her pillow.

Her thoughts wandered to yesterday's events. While her memories were hazy, there were two important moments that stood out for her: Kurt shoving Sheldon and the explosion of rage she had as a result, and that she kissed Sheldon. She groaned into her mattress. She had no idea what possessed her to do it. Despite being an emotional, drunk basket case last night, she was still not one to just kiss someone that she considered a friend. When she is interested a man, there is a clear intention and pursuit that goes into her conquest. While many women sit idly by and wait for men to approach them, Penny initiated most of her sexual encounters. Being with Kurt since she was eighteen, there hadn't been many outside of him with the few exceptions of longer breaks in their relationship. Essentially, it wasn't her usual her way to unexpectedly throw herself at a guy in that manner, especially a geeky nut like Sheldon that didn't fit her type in any way, shape, or form. Sure, she thought Sheldon was attractive in his own, very special way. And maybe he had been giving her some warm, fuzzy feelings whenever he complimented her (outside of the other 95% of the time when he was annoying her or they were verbally sparring). Oh Christ, maybe she did like Sheldon.

Penny revisited that moment when she threw her arms around him and kissed him. He was a lot taller then she anticipated, and she remembered having to stand on her tip toes to meet his mouth. She thought about the way his short hair felt on her fingers as she grasped the back of his head for leverage. The pressure of his lips against hers was soft but firm all at once. He didn't respond much to the kiss. It seemed he was more in shock then anything. He didn't really kiss her back and there wasn't anything worth writing home about, but something about the way she was pressed into his body and the fullness of his bottom lip in her kiss had her itching for more as soon as she made contact.

Penny was experienced enough with herself and with the ways of kissing to know two things. One – it wasn't often that a kiss that simple felt that right, and two – she hadn't felt tingles like the ones Sheldon gave her since she was fourteen.

Now why Sheldon seemed to feel right yet be all wrong in all other aspects was the real issue. Well, aside from the fact she was pretty sure she scared the bejesus out of him.

That was another thing completely weird about this situation. While Penny didn't consider herself vain or self-centered, she had a confidant understanding that she was an attractive woman. Her interactions with men ever since she developed breasts told her so. However, Sheldon bolted from her like he had just been exposed to the plague and had to douse himself in bleach.

Maybe that was an exaggeration. She did overstep a lot of boundaries with him, so it was understandable why his reaction was a little over the top. She practically molested a man with a celibacy vow for science. Despite his insistence on keeping his virtue, Penny thought that he was attracted to her in some way. Didn't he feel at least a little curious or some kind of temptation to give in? He could have at least given her longer in their moment to move her lips and give him a proper kiss.

A dull need ached low between Penny's hips. This was the way he left her last night - alone, confused, and turned on. If he hadn't run from her, Penny was sure she would have initiated more and practically climb him like a tree given the opportunity. She wasn't expecting this kind of reaction when she first went in to kiss him. In that moment, it just seemed like the right thing to do. But she was now curious about this strange feeling Sheldon gave her, and she would be a liar if she said she didn't want to explore it more.

Not that Sheldon would ever give her that opportunity. His terrified flee from her apartment told her so much.

She rolled over in bed and looked at her alarm clock. 1:06 pm. Fortunately for her, she didn't need to work today.

* * *

Sheldon gripped at the ends of his hair, but it only reminded him of Penny doing the same the night before. He dropped his hands to his sides and went back to writing.

Leonard had interrupted him at some point to ask him if he was okay. Sheldon shooed him away with Leonard mumbling something about Sheldon being stuck again. Sheldon was grateful in the least that his roommate was familiar enough with his behaviors to understand that when he was this intensely focused on something, that he should just be left alone until he figured it out. Leonard usually went about this by using his free time to go out and do the things Sheldon normally didn't allow for in his schedule.

It disturbed him that he was so intently focused on this issue. Social dalliances never concerned him in the past. But he found himself stressing over this situation like he did with his own work of trying to find a grand-unified theory to explain string theory. And that's when it hit Sheldon. If he traced back his actions within the last few weeks, he had been thoroughly distracted by Penny in all areas of his life - including his work. This just would not do. His whole purpose of avoiding romantic entanglements was so things like this didn't happen. But Penny entered his life like a wrecking ball, and it seemed she was not going to be leaving anytime soon.

Sheldon revisited his logic formula. 1) He was attracted to Penny. 2) Penny had a platonic interest in him. 3) Penny kissed him. 4) Penny was attracted to him. Therefore….

And that's where he always drew a blank.

He traced his lips with his fingers, remembering where hers had been. He could recall the exact temperature, texture, and pressure of her kiss. The warmness of her body pressed into his own haunted him in these moments. He could remember the sizzle of his cheeks as they warmed in anticipation of her next move. And that's what terrified him the most. If she continued, would his pleasure in that moment make him do things he never thought he wanted to do?

And that was the one conundrum Sheldon couldn't deny no matter how much he rationalized it. He enjoyed her kiss. Mentally, he got a small satisfaction that after all these weeks of fantasizing and dealing with his body's reactions to her closeness that she also seemed to have some kind of draw to him as well. Physically, it satisfied some inherent need that his body had to touch and be touched by her.

Sheldon paused, repeating the thought that had just entered his brain.

_It satisfied my inherent need._

He had once characterized his responses to Penny as some kind of conditional heat that occurred only when in her presence. That sexual drive had heightened since then, permeating every aspect of his life. It was as if all of his thoughts had Penny weaved into them. It was as if his body was trying to tell his mind that it needed something and wouldn't rest until it had it.

The dry erase marker squeaked as Sheldon wrote out the words:  _The Pon Farr Hypothesis._

While Sheldon begrudgingly understood he wasn't part Vulcan or any kind of alien race (after extensive tests as a child, he reluctantly accepted he was indeed human), nonetheless, the idea held some bearing with what he was experiencing. This condition hit him with a ferocity that had irrevocably changed him thus far. He found himself submitting to acts of depravity and enjoying his nighttime fantasies with a certain blonde waitress. However, those alone could not satisfy his hunger. Penny's kiss revealed that to him. In that moment, it was as if his center of gravity had transplanted itself into her and the only thing that existed in his mind was a single word.  _Penny_. While his insistence to stick to his moral code of decency and his persistence to allow nothing else to matter to him other than physics and his career had held this theory at bay, his body was whole-heartedly committed to only one conclusion.

Sheldon was horny.

From both the canonical and fanon understandings of how pon farr worked, the only solution to end this blood fever was either to mate with the object of his affection or fight to the death in the ritualistic battle of kal-if-fee. While he was sure Kurt would be more than happy to challenge his purposed territory, Sheldon didn't think he was willing to die for sex. The only other opponent that left for him was Leonard, and he was thoroughly positive that a duel with Leonard would be lackluster and laughably easy to the point that he was sure this raging passion inside him would not be quelled. He was a Texan, after all.

It seemed according to Star Trek – the only thing he ever felt anything remotely close to religious fanaticism about – the solitary solution that would bring him peace of mind would be to mate with Penny.

Now, of course he understood several crucial differences with his situation. He was fairly certain that he wouldn't die if he didn't have sex with Penny, but he could already see that his current trajectory was leading him nowhere fast, including steering him away from the Nobel. He also knew that human relationships concerning sex were messy and complicated. It was why he avoided them for so long. But maybe there was a reasonable option that Penny, and he could agree upon that would adequately satiate his need but also allow him to continue to be his own independent person.

Then there was the fact that he had never had sex before in any capacity, and he had no understanding about how to even accomplish the task. Of course he knew the technical logistics of what goes where and the ultimate goal of the matter, but getting to that point he was confused about. He understood that females found it offensive if one is just straightforward about his intentions. Popular culture also illustrated an idea to him that they enjoyed acts of "foreplay" before sex to make it more enjoyable for them. And if he was going to do this with Penny, he definitely wanted her to enjoy herself.

Clearly, Sheldon had a lot more research to do on this subject.

* * *

Penny finally got out of bed to shower after half an hour of wishing she was dead. Fortunately, she didn't puke, which was surprising considering how awful she felt. But the day was young.

The hot spray felt good against her skin as she thought about what she was going to do about Sheldon. Even though it felt good at the time, she knew she had to apologize. If there was ever a motivation to stop drinking it was now. Clearly she did stupid things while she was drunk. She often took Kurt back while drunk. She fell off the back of a pick- up truck while she was sneaking out past curfew at 16 while drunk – which ended in her parents having to pick her up at the emergency room for a dislocated shoulder. And now she kissed her neighbor and friend, and probably officially been cast as some kind of wild hussy who couldn't keep her hands to herself.

Well, Sheldon was just going to have to get over it. But she was going to quit drinking.

The feeling of him in her arms haunted her thoughts. Every time she revisited that moment it was as if she was plunged back in time again. His robe was surprisingly soft against her skin. His skinny body didn't feel like she imagined it would. Where she was expecting frailty and sharp edges, there was a fullness to his chest and shoulders that surprised her. She also could remember how warm he felt beneath her hands, just like any other man. Sometimes it was hard to remember that Sheldon was a real boy under those wooden-like movements and robotic behaviors. But Penny knew the second she slid her hands across his neck that Sheldon was a red-blooded American man.

A shiver ran down Penny's spine and stopped to pulse between her legs. She was hoping to ignore this itch earlier, but clearly it was beckoning her to attend to it. And Penny wasn't one to say no twice.

She stepped out of the shower and toweled off her body. She felt a little better now that her meds were kicking in, and she didn't feel so sweaty and grimy. She pulled her hair into a high ponytail, skipping drying it.

Not bothering to put any clothes on, Penny slid under her top-sheet. The material felt cool against her smooth legs. She laid there for a few moments imagining the kiss again but taking it further this time. What would Sheldon have done had she continued? If she slid her tongue into his mouth? What if all her assumptions about him were right, and he really was attracted to her? Would he pull her hips to his and rub up against her?

Penny turned over and reached under her bed, pulling out her secret naughty box. She wanted this to be quick and dirty, so she retrieved a pink vibrating bullet. She couldn't believe she was about to get off thinking about defiling the strangest, geekiest, most annoying man she had ever met, but there have been lower points in her life. The small device buzzed frantically in her hands, and she slid it down her body. After teasing her folds for a few moments, she pressed the vibrator firmly against her hooded nub and fell back into her fantasy.

They were in her room and she pushed Sheldon onto her bed. Instead of his pajamas, he wore his Halloween costume from that night, and she ran her fingers down the lines of his body. She unzipped the jumpsuit and touched his bare chest which had an almost iridescent glow to his skin. She kissed a trail down his abdomen, pulling the jumpsuit away from his body. In her mind, Sheldon panted her name, too overcome with surprise to stop her from what she was about to do. Once she pulled the suit away from his hips, she found a large erection straining inside his tighty whities. Even her fantasy Sheldon was clueless to the existence of boxers, but she just went with it.

She could feel her orgasm building with the delicious vibrations against her clit, so she quickly hit fast forward on her fantasy. Sheldon was free from his underwear now, hard and ready for her as she stroked him. She climbed on top of him and slid his erection inside her. Penny turned on her stomach, keeping the bullet firmly pressed on her as she imagined moving her hips on top of him. The familiar twitching started and she arched her back as she rode her orgasm against her hand and vibrator. She collapsed onto the bed as the waves of spasms slowed, and she turned off the tiny toy.

Penny turned over and stared up at her ceiling. Her body happily hummed in relaxation and satisfaction. She huffed out a sigh.

_Crap._

* * *

"Well that's just not sanitary," Sheldon clicked out of the window, giving up on his research. He first decided to look up some common relationship paradigms between sexually active humans. What he found was definitely informative to what he was and wasn't willing to commit to. Then he decided to venture in and see if the internet could tell him anything about how to be an adequate sexual partner, but what he found was not only highly disturbing but more information than he ever wanted to know about human sexuality.

One thing he garnered more certainty about was that he was definitely responding to Penny like a typical courting male. He equated their spats to the tumultuous relationship of mating lions that snarl and bare their teeth at each other, even in the midst of coitus. His insistence to clean her apartment reminded him of several avian species where the males built nests to attract mates. His Pon Farr Hypothesis even effectively explained his uncharacteristic spat with Kurt as defending his mate of choice against a larger male who threatened his position.

Though he felt that it was poppycock that out of all the females in the world, Penny, a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory, would be the one and only to "get his motor running", he really couldn't fight nature on this one.

He determined that it made some sense as to why Penny would be the one to awaken this side of him. She did have healthy, wide hips that seemed more than suitable at birthing many offspring. Not that Sheldon had any plans to actually procreate with Penny. But what his body didn't understand about birth control wouldn't hurt his overall plan at alleviating this wanton tension.

His current plan of action was to ask Penny to enter into what he understood to be termed as a "friends with benefits" paradigm. From his quick internet search, it seemed to be the most logical relationship to fit both his needs and avoid messy entanglements such as emotional attachments. For one, they were friends (though when that actually began, he wasn't entirely certain), and two, after double checking that these "benefits" did not include that he would have to provide her with health insurance, the idea of sexual reciprocity seemed like a perfect way for him to appease his temporary sexual appetites.

Now, convincing Penny that this was also a good idea was an entirely different story.

He needed one other piece of evidence though to make sure that he was fully committed to this plan of action. He had to kiss Penny again. He needed to make sure that what he felt last night was not just a fluke or a response to the unexpectedness of the moment. And science always called for a repeat of experiments to solidify that one's results are real. If he kissed Penny and felt the same physical pull to engulf himself inside of her, then he knew this was how he would proceed. However, if he kissed her and instead felt the repulsiveness as he would imagine having another human being's germ-riddled lips on his would be, then he knew that trying to engage in coitus with Penny would not only be uncomfortable but more than likely was not what his body was seeking in the first place.

He returned to his logic formula on the white board: 1) He was attracted to Penny. 2) Penny had a platonic interest in him. 3) Penny kissed him. 4) Penny was attracted to him. Therefore…5) He should engage in coitus with Penny.

Sheldon looked at the door, imagining walking over to Penny's apartment, knocking three times while repeating her name and then kissing her once she opened the door. His stomach caved in on itself and his body shook with anxiety.

Perhaps he should think about this some more.

* * *

Curled up on her couch, Penny giggled as she watched a rerun of That 70's Show. Hyde had just punched a guy for calling Jackie a bitch, prompting Jackie to interpret his actions as proof that he was in love with her. Her starry-eyed expression reminded Penny of her own bubbly feelings from Sheldon's proposal that she was brave the night before, causing her to attack him like a horny poodle. She guessed in retrospect she was also a bit of a Hyde as well, standing up to Kurt and kicking him out for laying hands on Sheldon. Whichever character she was, clearly Jackie and Hyde are  _totally meant to be_ , and it made her uneasy about what that meant for her and wack-a-doodle.

Speaking of the man of the hour, Sheldon's ritualistic knocks sounded at her door, followed by his timid call of her name. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest. She wasn't ready yet. She had just come to grips with the fact that she did what she did last night and that she maybe liked it and that could possibly be because she had a minor crush on her crazy neighbor. She didn't want to have to face him after imagining his bony, naked body beneath hers or deal with the fact that he probably was here to ban her from the apartment. Holding her uneasy stomach, she sucked a breath in and made a bee-line for the door, hopeful this wasn't too brutal.

Sheldon held his hands behind his back, hoping that Penny wouldn't notice how badly he was shaking.

Penny swung open the door and released her breath at the sight of a shy Sheldon, barely able to meet her eyes. It didn't seem like he had a reprimanding ready for her. She relaxed her shoulders and held her head up high.

"Hello, Sheldon."

Sheldon glanced up at her and quickly averted his eyes, "Hello, Penny."

Penny waited a few seconds for his announcement of why he was here. When it did not come, she took matters into her own hands.

"Would you like to come in?" She stood back a little to offer him a walkway inside.

Sheldon nodded his head and took the few steps it needed to enter her apartment.

Penny closed the door behind him and watched carefully as he shuffled his feet in front of him. The silence between them was maddening and she was a woman of little patience.

"Look Sheldon, I'm sorry." "Penny, I want to…"

They spoke over each other at once, drowning out the others words. Penny paused and stared at him warily.

"What were you saying?"

Sheldon shook his head and folded his arms. "You first."

Penny heaved a sigh and began again, "I'm sorry, Sheldon for… for kissing you last night. I was really drunk and upset, and I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

Sheldon looked her over and nodded his head, "You're forgiven."

Penny eyed him suspiciously, "Really? Just like that? No strikes. No scolding me about your personal space? No lectures about sanitation or…"

"Penny, I want to try again," Sheldon cut her off.

Penny's eyes widened in surprise, "Wha-what?"

Sheldon clamped his lips shut and nervously bounced on his toes, "I want to try it again. The kiss."

Penny couldn't believe what she was hearing. Here she thought that she had forever scarred their friendship forever, but he wanted to try it again. Blood rushed into her ears and she could feel her heart beating at the base of her throat. She clamped her mouth shut which she noticed had been hanging open since his announcement.

"Okay," she finally said.

Sheldon looked up at her from across the room. He tentatively took a few steps towards her, encouraging her to meet him halfway. They stopped as soon as they were standing toe-to-toe, with Sheldon staring at his feet while Penny gazed up at him.

He looked incredibly nervous. Penny knew that Sheldon was a virgin, but she also wondered if he had ever kissed a woman before. Like  _really_  kissed. She had no idea why the hell she was doing this again. Maybe it was the scared expression on his face or the pitiful desperation in his voice at his request. Maybe it was because she really wanted to do it again. Either way, Penny was committed now and couldn't back out last second.

She grabbed his upper arms, steadying herself as she stood on her tip toes. Her contact caused Sheldon to momentarily tense up, but as he watched her face slowly approach his, with her lips slightly pursed, Sheldon eased his body into the kiss. He let her touch him first, her smooth lips barely grazing his own. His whole body seemed to turn on in that moment, like an electric circuit board connecting it's currents in intertwining paths. He pushed forward, solidly placing his lips on hers.

Penny's chest filled with ticklish air as he pressed into the kiss. She moved her hands from his arms to his jaw, steadying the angle that their faces aligned. She pulled her lips back momentarily just to come back in and kiss him again, taking his bottom lip between her own. Sheldon caught onto her subtle hint and waited for her to make the next move. As she repeated the action, Sheldon opened his mouth gently to her, their lips encasing each other's in a firm grasp.

Sheldon definitely didn't feel the need to run or sanitize anything. The same blankness from the night before settled into his brain, and his entire focus was on the woman who was now delicately stroking the side of his neck. He wasn't sure what to do with his hands, so he placed them on the curve of her waist. This action caused Penny to move closer to him, her chest pressing into his own as her pelvis ghosted across the seam of his pants. He felt the slight pressure of her hands angling his face as she deepened the kiss. Sheldon met her movements, uncertain of exactly what to do or how long this was supposed to last. He figured he would leave it to Penny to decide on duration as she was more of the expert in this area.

Penny didn't want to frighten him as she had done the night before, so she figured full on French kissing was out of the picture. But she wanted Sheldon to feel fireworks. She figured everyone deserved a kiss like that at least once in their life, and this might be the only opportunity she had to give that to Sheldon. She planted her feet more firmly to the ground, bringing his face down to hers as she threw out the timid act she had been using with him.

Sheldon could feel a change in the kiss as Penny more firmly pressed her mouth onto his. He felt short of breath as the kissing intensified. Their lips were smacking together now with the pace of the kiss quickening as Sheldon tried to meet each of Penny's actions with an equal reaction on his part. At one point, Penny nibbled at Sheldon's bottom lip which caused him to softly groan in delight. This alerted Penny to the dangerous territory that this kiss was leading and she pulled away from him.

Dizziness caused his vision to blur as Penny pulled away from his mouth. His short, shallow breaths indicated to him he hadn't been getting enough oxygen in the inscrutable amount of time that had passed while they were kissing. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, pounding in tune with his pulse that reverberated in his ears. As his vision cleared, he found Penny's green eyes staring up at him curiously, waiting for him to say something.

"That was…" he took in a long, deep breath as he tried to search for the word he wanted. "Satisfactory."

Penny smirked, having no idea he where was going with this. "So I take it you aren't mad at me, then?"

Sheldon shook his head, his cheeks reddening.

Penny sighed, confused as hell of what was even going on. Sheldon didn't do things like this. Why was he here, asking her to kiss him and then kissing her back?

"I have a proposition for you," he began, squeezing his hands together. Penny waited for him to continue.

"After careful consideration and many weeks of experimentation and research, I have determined that the only way I'm ever going to find any relief from the distracting attention that your presence pulls me from my work, is if we shift our current platonic interactions to a paradigm that includes activities to satisfy both of our carnal needs but avoids the tiresome and shambolic uncertainties of emotional ties…"

"English, Sheldon," Penny clipped at him, her voice demanding he listen to her request.

Sheldon rolled his eyes, wanting to correct her and inform her that he was indeed speaking English, but he was set to charm her, "I think the term that is more commonly used is friends with benefits."

She laughed in disbelief, "You want to be fuck buddies?"

Sheldon's face reddened at her crassness, "Well, I wouldn't put it so crudely…"

Penny corrected herself, "So you're trying to tell me that you want to fool around but not date. Is that what you're getting at?"

He carefully nodded his head.

She really couldn't believe this was happening, "But why?"

Sheldon hated having to re-explain himself, so he tried to find the best way to put this to her. "I find you… attractive – which is something very new for me and I have not experienced at this level with a woman. But I am also not interested in emotional commitments or the frivolous sociality of dating."

This was a bad idea. A really bad, bad idea. Penny knew that friends with benefits situations rarely ever worked out cleanly. When sex was involved, despite people's protests, emotions always ended up mudding the waters. And Sheldon was a virgin.  _A virgin!_  How the hell was this going to work? Did she even want to be with Sheldon that way? The tingly on her lips and between her thighs argued a resounding yes, but the whole lunacy of the situation told her no.

"If we're going to do this," she found herself saying as if her rational mind was disconnected from her words. "We're doing it with  _my_  lead. Understand?"

Sheldon gulped and nodded his head in surrender.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Sheldon, did you hear me?" Leonard called to his roommate.

Sheldon jolted in his spot, realizing he lost himself in his thoughts again. He turned to Leonard and responded, "Sorry, I guess I was thinking of more interesting things."

Leonard rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Well, I said that I'm going to be working nights for the next month because it's the only slot available for me to use the new free-electron laser for my X-ray diffraction study."

Sheldon huffed in his seat, "What about driving me to work? And getting take out? Or making an even four when we dine-in? Or…."

"Sheldon, you're just going to have to deal with it," Leonard sighed. "This opportunity is really important for my work. I could get a publication out of this data, and I have the grant funding to do these experiments."

Sheldon furrowed his eyebrows and sulked. He knew that there was no way arguing his way out of this one. While he didn't think that Leonard's field of physics was particularly interesting or challenging, he knew not to get between a man and his work – especially when it concerned science.

He returned to his previous thoughts, which unfortunately were not about anything scientific, other than his own personal experiment he had entered into with Penny. After agreeing on their arrangement, (and Penny ripping up the Friends-With-Benefits-Contract that he had spent hours preparing) he hadn't seen Penny for a few days. He had been avoiding seeing her mostly because he had no idea what the protocol was now that they had established their arrangement with her as the captain.

Leonard working did have one advantage for him. He had been wondering how to go about circumventing Leonard's attention to his situation with Penny. While he didn't think that Leonard actually had any claim to Penny, there did seem to be a code amongst male comrades that forming sexual relations with a woman that a friend was interested in was considered a betrayal. He believed the expression was "bros before hoes". While he and Leonard certainly weren't brothers and as far as he was aware of Penny did not receive monetary compensation in exchange for coitus, he assumed the spirit of the phrase was more of what was important. It's expected for him to put priority to his male friendships over his own sexual desires.

But Sheldon figured what Leonard didn't know couldn't hurt him. He wasn't planning on this Penny thing to develop into anything more than they had established, and Leonard could continue to pursue with his ill-fated attempts to pair-bond with her.

This new development gave him an opportunity to actually be away from the apartment and not have Leonard wonder about his comings and goings. Sheldon had spent the past few days devising grand excuses to tell Leonard when the time came to visit Penny's apartment. He realized though that living a secret double life proved to be a challenging endeavor, since it seemed he would have to concoct entire background stories, physical evidence of his whereabouts, and eye witnesses to assure that Leonard would not grow suspicious. Sheldon hated lying for this reason. If he was going to do it, he wanted to do it well. It really took a lot of energy out of him.

And then there was getting Penny on board with his schemes. So far, she had been unreceptive to any of his ideas concerning their arrangement. She kept citing their original verbal contract that she would be calling the shots as far as pacing and what exactly was to occur between them in a sexual manner. At the time, he agreed to it mostly because he was shocked she was saying yes, but also because her kiss left him in a strange, intoxicated state that he hypothesized must have been the oxytocin released causing him to participate in pro-social, affiliate behaviors to which he wasn't usually so vulnerable. He would have to look more into that line of research to see if there were anyways that he could preserve his sharp edge cognitive reasoning after physical interactions with Penny.

First, though, he had to inform Penny of this new opportunity that was available for them. Not only did they not have to lie, but they could both move freely between the two apartments. He was also fairly positive Leonard would not ask him about his daily activities since Leonard was more than familiar with Sheldon's strict adherence to his schedule. It was also beneficial that if Leonard did ask, he had a go to agenda to recite off while maintaining minimal eye contact so he would not catch onto his fibbing.

Sheldon deliberated on a decent time to inform Penny, and he felt short of breath considering the possibility. He had no idea what to expect the next time he visited her. Would they have coitus right away? Did she have any expectations on his end about what to do? Would they say their hellos and she would just pounce on him right there in her living room? Though the idea thrilled him on one level, he also had to admit the thought of actually performing coitus terrified him. Since he never really considered it a possibility, with it now a reality and a plan, he found himself feeling totally helpless in the situation. He felt so assured that this was the right method of dealing with his current problem, but the more he questioned that understanding the theoretical basis of some things might not translate well to pragmatic application.

* * *

Penny propped her feet up, sprawling out on her couch. It had been a long day at work. She had to train a new girl who was pretty, blonde, and told her all about how this job was only temporary until she got her big break. Penny nodded her head and let the girl ramble, not wanting to be a dream crusher. She hadn't given up on her own dream of acting, per say, but not even getting so much as a commercial in four years wasn't much of a confidence booster. She felt like if she had to work at the Cheesecake Factory for another yea, she'd seriously have to reconsider her entire life.

It was moments like these where having a boyfriend would be nice. Despite being a monstrous douchebag in all other areas of his life, Kurt could give a nice foot massage. She was pretty sure if she asked Sheldon to go anywhere near her feet, he'd run to his apartment, squawking about athlete's foot and toe germs.

Not that Sheldon was her boyfriend.

Penny still felt like she had stepped in some sort of twilight zone when it came to that situation. After the night she kissed him (again), she hadn't seen Sheldon at all. She was pretty sure he was avoiding her. It miffed her that he proposed such a radical thing just to hide in his apartment afterwards. But she wasn't going to smoke him out or anything. She knew how to play this game. She would let Whack-a-doodle come to her.

Their time apart gave her a while to consider how she was even going to approach this. The fact that Sheldon had never been with anyone  _ever_  was still a foreign concept for her. She had never been with a virgin. Not even when she was a virgin. While she considered herself a sexual dominant, she still always enjoyed a man who knew how to do things. Though the idea of teaching someone how to please her exactly how she liked did intrigue her…

But she didn't really like to think about the situation like that. When she considered why she even said yes in the first place, she realized there were two major factors at play: one obviously being that she was curious about her attraction to Sheldon in the first place. She usually went for tall, muscular, jock types that watched football with her and she could count on them being stupider then her. While Sheldon was tall and had nice masculine features, he was also scrawny, dressed like a seven-year old, and could arguably be the most arrogant man on the planet. His crazy intelligence didn't necessarily make her feel stupid. Comparing yourself to Sheldon was like sizing up to a skyscraper. But he definitely felt very far away sometimes with his rambles and idiosyncrasies. She didn't understand what it was like to be in the mind of Sheldon Cooper, but she imagined it was a very different experience then herself.

The second factor was more out of a genuine affection for Sheldon. Sheldon's lack of sexuality and experience intrigued her since their conversation that night he stayed at her apartment. She wondered what it was like to go all these years never being kissed or held or appreciated in any physical manner. She even wondered if he had simply held hands with a girl and basked in the butterflies. Now, he was basically asking her to give him all of these experiences in a non-committal relationship. Penny couldn't help but feel like if Sheldon wanted to have a go at this aspect of life, she was damned determined to make sure he understood what he was missing out on. From some of the hints she had gotten either from him or seeing how people respond to Sheldon, she imagined there weren't many women who would have the patience for him. If anything, Penny rationalized, she was doing Sheldon a favor. Not only would she be considerate of where Sheldon was coming from in this manner, but he didn't realize who he was asking when it came to this subject. Penny enjoyed sex. She knew how to do it well, and she wasn't ashamed that she understood exactly what her body needed. He was going to get one hell of an education, which it kind of thrilled her knowing she could teach the great Sheldon Cooper something.

Besides, it would be nice to have some kind of fun without all the drama and tears due to commitments no one can keep. It was why her relationship with Kurt failed so badly. She expected more than he could ever give her and despite all her hope, he just kept kicking her heart over and over again, disappointing her whenever things were going well. Penny wasn't sure she could ever really put her faith into someone like that again.

Despite all of the logical arguments she made for agreeing to this crazy arrangement and convincing herself that this was a good thing, Penny's stomach still twisted in knots when she thought of actually going through with it. Not in a way that she felt she wouldn't enjoy herself. She definitely could see that she would. But her intuition was telling her that something unexpected was on the horizon.

_Knock. Knock. Knock_

"Penny."

_Knock. Knock. Knock_

"Penny."

_Knock. Knock. Knock_

"Penny."

Penny lurched up from her spot at the sound of his knocking. The same anxiety from the other night swept over her body, and she took a few calming breaths before answering the door.

She swung open the door to reveal two, large blue eyes staring back at her. She held their gaze for a few heart beats and then focused out onto the face of her gangly neighbor. She could read his thinly veiled anxiety in his ramrod stance.

"Sheldon," she eased into the moment.

"Penny," Sheldon nodded his head at her.

She waited for a few seconds and then rolled her eyes at his peculiar formalities, "Will you get in here?"

Sheldon straightened his back and gazed towards the stairwell that Leonard just ran down. Today was Leonard's first day working nights, and Sheldon had an odd anxiety about him coming back for something. He returned his focus to Penny, examining her expression which he could only guess was somewhere between annoyed and amused. He entered her apartment before the scales tipped towards the annoyed end of the spectrum.

"What's the jist, physicist?" Penny shoved her hands in her pockets as Sheldon awkwardly stood in her living room.

Sheldon eyed Penny, finding her joke mildly amusing but juvenile none the less. "I have good news concerning our recent agreement to engage in a "Friends-With-Benefits" paradigm or as I have coined it, "Comrades in Coitus"."

Penny smirked, "Well there definitely hasn't been any coitus yet, buddy."

Sheldon averted his eyes and clasped and unclasped his hands together, "Yes, well, that is the ultimate goal of this whole arrangement, is it not?"

Penny bit her lip, enjoying Sheldon's squirmy reaction. Despite his cold and deliberate words, his body language screamed that he was terrified. She started to wonder what exactly it was about her that was forcing Sheldon to reach out past his comfort zone.

"So what's your news?"

"Yes, that," Sheldon folded his arms behind his back. "For the next month, Leonard will be running experiments at night using the University's only free-electron laser. And considering Leonard's ever-pervasive crush on you, I figured it would be wise if we kept this arrangement from his knowledge."

Penny nodded her head. She hadn't stopped to consider Leonard in this whole matter. While what he thought didn't really concern her much, Leonard was definitely an important person in Sheldon's life. She understood that what Sheldon and she were about to embark on might hurt Leonard's feelings and pride since she told him not too long ago she wasn't interested in dating. While that wasn't exactly what she and Sheldon were doing, she imagined Leonard would not see the distinction as clearly.

"So you want to get down and dirty when he's at work?" Penny raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Sheldon's ears blazed hotly, "Yes, I suppose that is a way to put it, though I'm hoping your use of the term "dirty" is purely for metaphorical purposes. You know I don't like dirt and germs, Penny."

Penny's smile widened, "You do realize you're going to be coming in contact will all sorts of Penny germs during this process, right?"

Sheldon grimaced slightly, "Yes, I am aware that physical interactions require the exchange of bodily fluids that are perfect microenvironments for bacteria, viruses, and other microbes. But seeing as I did not fall deadly ill after either of our prior kisses, I can only imagine that my immune system has responded well to our exchange and is harvesting antibodies for your specific "Penny germs" as we speak."

That was a lot of words, "Huh?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "I think I'll be safe."

Penny nodded her head and turned to plop down on the couch, "So when is Leonard's first work night?"

"Tonight," Sheldon said. "He left a few minutes ago."

Penny smiled suggestively up at him and patted his spot on the couch.

Sheldon swallowed, the motion causing him a sharp pain as his body shook with nerves. He hadn't expected they would start so quickly.

He tentatively took a seat next to Penny as she eyed him carefully. The similar rush that he experienced when she kissed him almost a week before came back to him again.

"Sheldon," Penny's tone softened as she said his name. He turned his eyes up to gaze at her warm expression. "We're going to take things slow, okay? I remember what it was like…"

Sheldon nodded in response, not needing to hear her finish her statement. "So we're not going to have coitus today?"

Penny shook her head, "No, not today. And you don't have to keep calling it that. You can call it sex."

Sheldon shrugged his shoulders.

Penny scooted in closer to him, but still maintained a distance so that they were not touching. "There are a lot of other things to sex then just intercourse."

Sheldon felt a strange, conflicting urge to both move away and lean into her closeness. He remembered the way she felt pressed up against him, eliciting both a tingly excitement and a soothing calm in his body. His reactions to Penny always seemed to be this way, as if his mind and body were at a constant tug-of-war.

"I'm aware of things like foreplay and the like," Sheldon waved his hand through the air which Penny imagined represented the large blur of things that he thought he understood, but probably really couldn't until he actually did them.

"Well I was thinking that today we can just try kissing some more," Penny suggested, eyeing him carefully for his reaction.

Sheldon kept his stare straight on the floor, not daring to look at her. He had to keep his calm composure. "Yes, I believe that would be a logical next step."

She reached her hand out and stroked the side of his face. Despite always being clean shaven and smooth, she could feel the faint roughness of where his beard would grow if he allowed for it. She wondered for a moment what Sheldon would look like after a day or two of not shaving. Would his stubble be dark? Patchy? Would the faint shadows bring out his jaw and cheekbones more definitely?

Sheldon let out a nervous breath as Penny stroked his face. Her slender fingers glided against his jaw bone and stopped at his chin. He could feel the light pressure of her guiding his face to look at her. When his eyes met her own, his heart hammered in double beats. He was unsure of why he felt both so terrified but anticipatory all at once. Again, with the paradoxes.

Penny blinked rapidly and licked her lips as she let her eyes trail from his full bottom to his startlingly blue orbs. He looked nervous, and she could feel him quivering slightly beneath her fingers. Penny's own heart was fluttering rapidly, and she grew warm as the anxious energy built inside her. Penny hadn't felt this way about a simple making out session since she was a young teenager. She remembered being locked into a closet with Brandon Heinson. She had been too afraid to make the first move then and waited a whole minute of their allotted seven for him to press his lips to hers. She recalled how at that time making out seemed sloppy and uncoordinated, but it was definitely something she wanted to try again.

Stifling the call of her own nerves, she slowly leaned her face into Sheldon's. He waited for her, his whole body freezing as she approached him. Like the previous time before, she let her lips graze his own before pushing ahead and pressing into him. She eased her mouth gently into the kiss, not wanting to spook him because he looked like he was going to run at any second.

Sheldon let Penny kiss his lips a few times before kissing her back. The wound tension seemed to uncoil in those first few moments, and he released a steady breath through his nose. Penny's lips were so soft against his. The geometry of the slopes and planes of her mouth fit so congruously with his lips as their gentle pecking relaxed into a slow savoring. Penny scooted closer to him so that her knees where touching his thigh. The contact jolted him from the moment and he reflexively jerked out of the kiss.

Penny's pouty lips were still puckered with her hand planted on his face. Clearly Sheldon's jitters were going to be an issue.

"Sheldon," She delicately petted his face from ear to the base of his neck. "It's okay. Apart of kissing is touching each other."

He responded by nodding his head. Licking his own lips, he leaned forward towards her again. Penny let him come to her this time as he deliberated which angle to turn his head. Penny seemed to have a second nature about it, and she wasn't taking the lead this time to show him. He tried a few positions before settling on one and pressing his mouth to hers.

Penny tightened her hold on his neck, her fingers gently massaging against his strained muscles. She used her leverage to scoot even closer, putting her legs across his lap and pressing her body into his.

Sheldon released his kiss and tried to calm the cautionary flee response that overcame him at Penny's closeness. He reminded himself that with his goals, they would be getting a lot closer than this. He rested his forehead against hers and breathed in her scent. He couldn't place it since he didn't care to familiarize himself with women's perfumes, but it reminded him of picking wild-berries in the hot woods of Texas in the summer.

Feeling his release in resistance, Penny kissed him again, opening her mouth to his parted lips. Sheldon liked when they had kissed this way before, the synchronized dance forming a pattern that was steady and rhythmic. He obliged her by asserting more movement into the kiss. He found himself in a similar conundrum as before, not understanding where to put his hands. Penny seemed very content keeping her hands around his head, running her fingers softly against his jaw and them digging them into his neck and shoulders whenever she pushed her body against him. With her legs draped across his lap, he decided her tan thighs would be a good place to start. He made sure though to touch only the lower end of her thigh by her knee, just so it didn't seem like he was being too forward.

As he touched her, Penny took this as the sign she had been waiting for that Sheldon Cooper might be ready to turn this light pecking session into a real make-out. On the next round of open mouthed kisses, she darted her tongue out and nudged at his bottom lip.

He had not been expecting her tongue. The fleshy poke sent a swimming chill down his spine, ending with a twitch in his groin. He squeezed the top of her knee, and Penny softly giggled against his mouth. The vibrations from her laugh tickled his lips, which became hyper sensitized when she sucked them back into her kiss.

The next time she lashed her tongue at him, she touched his own tongue, and Sheldon thought he was going to have an aneurism. French kissing was always an enigma to him. It seemed like the most unsanitary way to kiss someone, and the mechanics of it confused him. Penny's insistence brought his nerves back, and he felt awkward and fumbly all over again. When she went for a third try, he gave into the social pressure of the interaction and met her tongue halfway.

Penny's body temperature rose feeling Sheldon push back on her tongue. She pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. His first attempts at French kissing were tentative and shy. Her initial efforts at forcing herself on him seemed to be too forward, so instead she gently coaxed him out of his shell by easing back on the tongue action and teasing him into thinking he was leading this voyage. Once she felt his confidence build with the careful, calculated thrusts of his tongue, she met him each time with equal pressure.

The careful constrained movements that Sheldon had perfected for himself over the years began to malfunction. A flush had formed on his face and his limbs twitched involuntarily, as if at any moment they would launch themselves and attack Penny. He never had such an urge to reach out and grab someone, but as Penny nibbled on his mouth, some unreachable part of his brain that controlled his muscles urged them to move to a new program. He felt some release from the strange, new overriding sensations when Penny pulled away from the kiss, but it came back with a new ferocity when she latched her sucking mouth onto his neck.

Sheldon understood the concept of erogenous zones. They were located at points in the body where major arteries carried oxygenated blood to essential parts of human physiology that sustained life. Currently, Penny was nipping and sucking just above his carotid artery that carried his blood flow to his brain. He gripped her thighs tighter, trying to control his hands from reaching out of his control, and all of a sudden he had a lap full of Penny.

She sat above him, straddling his thighs with her blonde hair cut just to the right length that the ends tickled his cheeks. He could see the dilation of her pupils, informing him that her sympathetic nervous system was active, preparing her body for the fight or flight response. Sheldon understood with the commanding look on her face that she definitely wasn't going anywhere.

Surrendering below her, most likely (from what Penny could judge) from his alarm of her boldness, Penny returned to his neck. She realized she had always had a fascination for his neck. It was long and sinewy, and his prominent Adam's apple always tantalized her with its showy masculinity. Penny was certain with his pale skin and her marksmanship expertise, Sheldon would have a hickey after she was through with him. While it wasn't the best idea, especially considering their agreement to keep this a secret, Penny had a thrill at the idea of dirtying up Sheldon's polished exterior in this way.

She moved her way up his neck, feeling his pants against her shoulder. She could tell he was panicking, not having a script on what to do at this point. His pulsing grip on her thighs indicated to her that he wanted to touch her, but he just didn't know how. Once at his ear, she whispered, "Touch me wherever you want."

Sheldon groaned as her wet mouth sucked on his ear lobe. He never knew that his body could experience sensations this pleasurable and intense. As a child, tickling always was a brutal torture on his body, but Penny's form of tickling seemed to bring only pleasure, without the need to kick and scream. He had heard her words inviting him to touch her, but he wasn't sure how to proceed. She had said wherever he wanted, but how could he know what that was when he had never touched her body before? With his cognitive functions fading in and out as she lavished kisses on his neck, Sheldon tried to deliberate his next move.

He tentatively rested his hands on her hips, his fingers bouncing at the crease in her shorts where her thighs were spread open above him. Once he relaxed his hands there, Penny lowered herself so that she was pressed firmly into his lap. She could feel the evidence of his need for her then, constrained tightly in his pants. Not wanting to scare him, she lightly rolled herself over his erection, her tingles surging in a taut focus between her thighs. He responded by squeezing her hips tighter.

Sheldon wasn't sure he could handle all of the sensations bombarding his body, especially with Penny moving that way above him. He wasn't sure if she could feel his arousal, but the way she slowly rocked her body to an unheard tune, the zipper of her shorts kept brushing up against him just so that as soon as his circulation met equilibrium, she was bringing his blood-flow back to his pelvis. She unlatched herself from his neck and kissed his lips. Sheldon couldn't find words to describe the serenity that washed over him when he tasted her on his mouth again. At least this he knew how to channel his tempting urges into.

He laced one his hands into her blonde hair, wanting to keep her in the kiss this time. A tiny moan escaped her mouth and sent vibrations into his as he tugged lightly at her hair. Sheldon jerked his hand away, afraid he might have hurt her. Penny responded by diving onto him and devouring his mouth.

This make-out tutorial was slowly becoming too intense for Penny. She wanted to show Sheldon all the wonders and ways to kiss someone, but she found herself getting lost in her lesson. The more Sheldon grew comfortable in his body and movements, the more she found herself getting lost in the clean smell of his skin and the sweet taste of his tongue. She wanted to grind him into the couch, riding against his hard-on until the tight coil inside her snapped. It's what she would have done if it were any other man beneath her other than her neighbor who was a virgin and frantically kissing her now like he was lost in his own pleasure and couldn't coordinate his movements anymore.

She pulled away both her hips and her head. She hovered above him, examining at his pink cheeks and wide eyes as he apprehended her next move. He looked unkempt and almost a bit wild – like an untamed version of himself disguised in his geek-wear. She grabbed at his ear lobes affectionately, tugging them as she planted a chaste kiss on his lips.

Sheldon wasn't sure why she was removing herself from him. He felt relief because he was sure that his racing heart couldn't have been good for his health. But he also craved for her to get back to what she was doing to him. It was as if she forced him to the edge of this cliff, only to leave him standing at the ledge.

They both adjusted their clothes as they settled back into their respective spots on the couch. Trying to calm their breathing, they silently sat next to one another without turning to look at each other. Penny wondered to herself how she was going to get a grip of herself in order to move things the right way while Sheldon considered in awe that the exhilaration of this activity was only "making out" and they hadn't even begun to breach into the sex-territory.

Penny turned her head to look at his shocked-expression. She grabbed for his hand then and marveled at the way he seemed surprised and cautionary even about this innocent action. She was just shoving her tongue down his throat and almost provoked a dry-humping session, but Sheldon was bashful about holding her hand.

"Did you enjoy that?" She asked him, already knowing his true answer despite whatever he might say.

"I didn't not like it," he responded finding his way back to his usual straight, cold demeanor; however, the flicker in his eyes as he met her gaze left him totally transparent to her.

She smiled brightly and kissed him on the cheek.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Sheldon's day had been terrible. He had a stand-off with Lesley Winkle over the sign-up sheet to use the mainframe in Buckman 204 where she was hogging most of the time-slots for her frivolous chase of subatomic wild geese. She had a new penchant for calling him Dr. Dumbass to which he had not come up with an equally burning title for her. He was the most brilliant mind of this century, yet she still seemed to treat him as if he were beneath her. Then Kripke approached him in the lunch room and insinuated that he and Leonard were having a "marital spat" and proceeded to harass him about his sexual orientation. Even though this was a common tactic of Kripke's that Sheldon was more then used to and not offended by, today he felt particularly sensitive to Kripke's insinuations - especially after his encounters with Penny. He wanted to defend himself more than ever but was bound by his oath of secrecy to not reveal what he and Penny had been doing. So instead, he forced down his biting comebacks and took Kripke's taunting silently.

He thought back to the past week and the kissing sessions between Penny and him. She insisted that "making out" was a natural progression to sex and something that every person should experience. He didn't oppose her suggestion. Not only did he find himself easing into his nerves about developing a physical relationship with Penny, but he realized that he rather enjoyed kissing her. Every time he pressed his lips to hers, some kind of biological urge to hold her against him was both satisfied and ignited at the same time. It assured him that he was on the right track with his current hypothesis. He also enjoyed the way that Penny would touch him in these moments. She liked touching his ears, tugging on the lobes and stroking the cartilage. Inevitably, she always started to kiss and suck on his neck which elicited wild sensations that Sheldon couldn't categorize appropriately. Over time, he developed a technique of his own that Penny seemed to enjoy. He noticed that she liked it when he squeezed her firmly on her hips or waist. She also would make soft noises in the back of her throat when he would run his fingers through her hair or hold her longer in a kiss. He even tried kissing her neck as she had done with him, mimicking her by gently biting her skin. Mewling sounds from deep in her throat escape in that moment, which he interpreted as her calls of pleasure. However she stopped him soon after, kissing him frantically and telling him they should call it a day before she jumped ahead of schedule.

Sheldon's cell phone rang and he leaned forward in his office chair to see who it could be _. Missy?_  His sister rarely ever called him, with the exception of when their mother forced her to or she had to pass some kind of message along. His abdomen tightened as he considered the possibility of a family emergency – like a death. Not wanting to delve further into that thought, he answered his phone.

"Hello, Dr. Sheldon Cooper speaking," he used his usual greeting.

"Shelly?" His sister's voice sounded frantic and the knot forming in his stomach tightened. "It's me, Missy."

"Yes, Missy, I have caller ID and am aware it's you?"

"Then why the hell did you answer that way?"

Sheldon grimaced, "It's my customary answer whenever I answer the telephone. It's polite to fully introduce yourself to whoever wants to speak with you."

"Well, I don't have time for all that," he could hear the panic in her voice. "I need you to do me a big favor, Shelly."

Sheldon frowned in suspicion, "What kind of favor?"

She released a sharp gasp. Sheldon was all too familiar with this noise from her. It was the sound she made when she was holding back tears.

"I need to get out of here." Another gasp. "I just… could I please stay with you at least until I find an apartment? You know I won't stay long."

Sheldon bit his lip, "I don't know." He could hear his accent coming through. This always happened when he spoke with his family. "I already have a roommate, and I don't have another bedroom to accommodate you. Why can't you stay with mom?"

"Because she doesn't get it!" She seethed in frustration. Sheldon listened patiently as she took a few calming breaths.

"What is going on, Missy?"

"I just have to get out of here. It's important. You know I never ask you for nothing. Not even when we were kids. You know that me even calling you means I'm in some kind of trouble, and you're my last resort. That's all I wanna to say about it."

Sheldon rested his head in his hand, rubbing his temples, "I still don't know what to do about where to put you…"

"I can just sleep on your couch. I'm desperate here."

Sheldon clenched his teeth. He hated this. He greatly disliked having guests over at the apartment. Even when his mother came to stay, he would put her in a hotel for both of their comforts. He imagined what Missy was wanting would be a very expensive, long stay.

"Shelly…"

"Alright," he heaved a sigh. "I guess you can stay. But I expect you to immediately look for both employment and an alternate living arrangement."

"No, I will! I promise. Trust me when I say I would love more than anything to get out of your way. Thank you so much!" She spoke quickly, her voice mimicking Sheldon's own speaking pace.

"When do you plan on flying out here?"

"I need to take care of a few things first, but I have money saved up for a plane ticket. I'll call you real soon to let you know the exact date."

"Okay."

"I gotta go now. But thank you so much, Sheldon. You have no idea what this means to me."

"Yes, but that's only because you're being stubborn and elusive about why you even need to run away to California of all places."

A dead silence filled the airwaves. Sheldon almost wondered if she had hung up.

"I'll just say, Shelly, I'm doing what Mama shoulda done a long time ago."

She hung up the phone.

* * *

Penny had spent her rare day off doing everything she wasn't supposed to do. She didn't go out to run errands, pay bills, or get groceries (not that she really had the money for it anyways). Instead she sat around and marathoned America's Next Top Model while longingly browsing for shoes on the internet. She didn't even bother putting on any real clothes after her shower, opting instead for some pink sweat pants and a yellow tank top. At one point she decided to catch up with some friends on Facebook since she hadn't spoken to anyone really since the party, but after witnessing disturbing back and forth with Kurt from people she considered very close to her, she decided just to stay away from them for a while.

She found herself waiting for him. This was the first day since their arrangement that she would be home before he got off work. For the past few days, as soon as she walked through her front door, Sheldon's knocks would sound. It definitely picked up her self-esteem to see how eager he always was to swap some spit with her (not that she would ever call it that to Sheldon). And if she were completely honest with herself, she realized she was counting down the hours of her shift, not just to get home but to get home and see him. Being off work today gave her nothing better to do other than wait around for more fun times with the mad-scientist next door. Penny almost couldn't believe the situation she got herself into. It sounded like something that would happen in a sitcom.

When she heard the jingle of keys in his apartment door, she ran to the bathroom to freshen up. She hadn't been all that concerned about how she looked the other times he came over, but that was more because he wouldn't give her any time to worry. She knew she probably looked like a hot-mess from stuffing her face with Cheetos and not even bothering to put on any make up. She washed her face and ran a brush through her hair before Sheldon had time to knock.

She opened the door to the saddest face she had ever seen. Usually he wore a flat affect and the occasional mild upturns of his lips when he found something humorous. There was also that twinkle she had been catching anytime he felt he had bested someone. She had even seen him pout over video games. But the look he wore today was one of defeat and exhaustion.

"Sweetie," she reached out and pulled him inside. "What's wrong?"

An angry crease formed between his eyebrows, "Work was unsatisfactory."

Penny led him to the couch, pushing him gently down to sit. She planted herself close to his body and squeezed his hand.

"What happened?"

Sheldon leaned forward on his knees and sighed, "Leslie Winkle signed her name up on the mainframe time-sheet, hogging all of the available time slots. When I took the sheet down, she cornered me, insulted my work, and called me Dr. Dumbass. Next, my arch nemesis Kripke bereted me at lunch over Leonard's absence because he has some asinine notion that because I don't spend my time sexually harassing women like the rest of them, then I must be a homosexual. Finally, my sister called to inform me that within the next few weeks she is moving to California and needs to stay in my apartment, which threw the rest of my day off, and I couldn't find my missing neutrino!"

Penny bugged her eyes out. She was pretty sure he hadn't taken a single breath in that whole spiel. She rubbed her hand up his arm. "Okay, honey, I don't know what a neu-tree-no is, but the rest of that sounds awful."

"A neutrino is an electrically neutral subatomic particle that has an undetectable mass and is theorized to play a role in the big bang…"

Penny massaged her way up Sheldon's arm to his shoulders while he tried to explain himself to her. She felt the tightness in his muscles. While Sheldon still had reservations about touching, he seemed to relax into her after sometime. He wasn't jerking away from her and instead, appeared to be seeking out her comfort in this moment. Penny could only assume his tightness was due to his stress.

"Sheldon, your shoulders are so tense."

"Muscle tension is a common physiological response to stress. More than likely I'll have to resort to taking some non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs later for the inevitable "tension headache" that I will get."

Rubbing small circles into his back, an idea hit her.

"Have you ever had a massage?"

"Considering that I avoid people touching me at all costs with the exception of hugs from my mother and my Meemaw - and now my interactions with you - I can't say that I have."

Penny hopped up from her seat, pulling Sheldon with her, "Come here."

"Where are we going?" Sheldon asked but allowing Penny to drag him anyways.

She led him to her room which she kind of wish she bothered to pick up her clothes beforehand. He frowned and looked like he was about to go into full lecture mode, but she stopped him with a kiss.

His body relaxed into her arms as she stood on her tip toes, balancing herself against him. They had never kissed standing up before (since their first kiss), and Sheldon found he liked the soft pressure of Penny's body aligned with his. He placed his hands protectively on her hips, forgetting what had concerned him so much. Sooner then he liked, Penny ended the kiss by shoving him onto her bed.

"Shirt off," she snapped her fingers.

Sheldon froze, reminding her of a baby deer.

"Wha-what do you mean? What are you going to do to me?"

A laugh tickled inside Penny at how frightened he seemed by this entire concept. How the hell were they ever going to have sex if he freaked out about something as minor as this? Like she was some villain with a master-plan to molest him? Okay, maybe that wasn't entirely inaccurate.

"Don't look so mortified. I just want to give you a massage."

"And this requires me to remove my clothing?"

Penny glared, "Yes, now quit being a baby. I'm going to see a lot more very soon anyways."  _At least I hope it's soon._

Sheldon darted his eyes away from her a few times, deliberating what he should do. She made a very valid argument (which she seemed to be doing more and more). From what he understood about massages, there was a lot of unnecessary touching for an act that wasn't inherently sexual in nature. He did like it when she would rub his arms and neck while they were kissing though. And there hadn't been any evidence that he had seen that back massages  _didn't_  alleviate muscle tension.

Penny smiled as she watched Sheldon slowly take off his bright red t-shirt to reveal the thermal underneath. This one in particular was tight and electric blue. As he untucked the shirt, she caught a glimpse of a light happy trail beneath his belly button. Sheldon was more hesitant about peeling his thermal off, but after her encouraging nod he pulled it off quickly.

Penny looked at his pale, skinny frame. It was sort of bizarre seeing him this way. Not that Sheldon's body was in anyway strange. He appeared normal, healthy, and lean. But seeing this much of Sheldon was such a new terrain, and she was positive that no one (besides maybe his mother) had seen. His pale skin was quite lovely. While she had always lusted after the tanned, muscular bodies of the jocks she had dated in her past, Sheldon's alabaster skin tone looked so creamy and almost like he'd be cold to the touch. His shoulders were broad and he had a nice definition to his arms. His chest and abdomen, while defined were definitely on the skinny side for a male frame. But what he didn't have in bulk he made up for in sharp lines and a masculine dusting of chest hair.

Sheldon folded his arms across his torso, covering as much of himself as possible, "I would prefer it if you didn't ogle me while we did this."

Penny snapped out of her enchanted exploration and narrowed her eyes, "Lay down on your stomach."

Sheldon warily looked at her bed, which fortunately she did happen to make. It didn't appear to be dirty and preferring Penny seeing his back, he stretched out and rested his face against her pillow, relaxing onto the mattress. Penny crawled over him, causing him to freeze as she perched herself on his rear end.

"Penny, I don't know…" but he was interrupted by her hands rubbing circles into his back.

Sheldon didn't realize that touching could  _feel_  this good. As her hands kneaded his muscles, the stress that had built inside of him all day seemed to drip out of his pores. He always held his body straight or hunched over, which he realized put a lot of strain on his back. He visualized the tight pull of his muscles releasing as her fingers pressed delicious pressure into his shoulders. After she completed a whole round of pressing and rubbing, she would run her long finger nails gently across his back, eliciting chills and goose bumps.

Penny was completely beside herself at this point. Sheldon responded to her like a lap dog in desperate need of attention. When she began he still held his body in a stiff, rigor-mortis-hold but as she rubbed him down, he relaxed into her touches and practically purred his satisfaction. If she knew this was all she had to do to get Sheldon to shut up, she would have tried it the first day they met.

Sheldon had a really nice body, if Penny was honest with herself. His skin was smooth and warm, and his fair tone was solid and even across his whole back with the exception of a few stand-out freckles that peppered his shoulders. She traced his spine to his thin, lower back where the waist band of his underwear peaked out from the top of his khakis. She loved the way he shivered when she scratched him, his skin prickling underneath her touch. When she focused on the center of his back just below his neck, he grunted in approval and she dug her fingers in harder, focusing on the tense knots she could feel beneath his skin.

After Sheldon relaxed and was limp beneath her, Penny decided to make her next move. She leaned over him, bracing herself on his shoulder blades and pressed a kiss at the top of his spine. He popped his eyes open at the sensation and waited. Penny trailed her lips down, kissing him again between the shoulder blades as she continued to massage her fingers into his skin. Her hair tickled his sides as she moved her way down, stopping at the indention of his lower back. She lifted her body back up again, running her fingernails down his sides.

Sheldon didn't want to move from his spot. He couldn't ever remember feeling this relaxed and comfortable. He also noticed that during her massage he had developed a large, throbbing erection that was now pressed into the mattress.

After she noticed that he intended to remain stationary, Penny placed her head against his, setting her mouth just by his ear, "How did you like your massage, Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon's penis pulsed as his title slipped off her tongue. Her mouth was warm and soft against his ear, and he had the compulsion to kiss her like he hadn't experience before. He noted that every day that he and Penny kissed, his need to kiss her again only grew with more intensity. Rolling over beneath where she straddled his hips, he held her in place above him until he sat up facing her. He stared into her eyes for a few moments, taking in their light, hazel tone and then cupped her face to pull her down for a kiss.

Penny braced herself on Sheldon's chest. His actions surprised her since he was rarely this forward when it came to kissing. She always had to start first and wait for him to catch up with her pace. Something seemed to charge him though (and she had a suspicion it had to do with her stroking his ego and referring to him as doctor). The kiss started slow and sensual, their lips lightly nipping at each other. As he laced his fingers into her hair, kissing her deeper, Penny settled herself into his lap on top of his hardness. He opened his mouth to her, and Penny ran her nails down the front of his chest, lightly scratching a path down to his hips. He quivered beneath her, a tiny noise escaping through his lips as he tightened his hold on her neck. She stroked the front of his body delicately, feeling the curves and lines of his slight definition. As she rocked her hips gently against him, the turmoil of sensations she stirred in his shaft caused him to snatch one of his hands out of her hair and grip her hips tightly, pressing her firmly against him.

Penny whimpered in his mouth as she grinded her mound against his stiffness. They had teasingly breached the area of dry humping in the past briefly, but with the new enthusiasm coming from Sheldon, she found the window she had been waiting for. Securing herself on his shoulders, she circled her hips clockwise, her bundle of nerves hitting him just right with each rotation. Sheldon tore his mouth away from hers, taking steady breaths as her movements created swirling electricity that worked its way from his shaft to his spine. The feeling of her grinding against him whited out his vision temporarily as he tried to keep his senses together. Coming back to himself, he pressed his lips to her throat, dotting kisses down to her collar bone. He tried distracting himself from the climbing pressure he felt in his genitals by focusing on the curve of her shoulder and strawberry smell of her skin. He kept his hands securely fastened to her gyrating hips, gently guiding her rotations.

A rush overcame Penny at the contact, temporarily satisfying her as she focused back on Sheldon. He was very wrapped up into nuzzling her neck, keeping her secure against his body. She noticed his intense focus, as if he was blocking out her riding him - even though it was obvious he was enjoying himself. She wanted Sheldon to get out of his head, commit to the actions, and quit fighting off the feelings. Stopping abruptly, she pulled away from him; still keeping her place hovered above his lap. He returned her hooded but determined expression with a wary uncertainty, questioning whether he had done something wrong. Penny grounded herself in the moment, finding her boldness.

Crossing her arms, she hooked her fingers at the bottom of her tank top and swiftly pulled the shirt above her head and off her body. She forwent wearing a bra today, so Sheldon's alarmed expression came as no surprise to her. His large blue eyes widened as they focused on her breasts. It took him a moment, but he seemed to gather his wits about him and met her gaze. He quickly turned his eyes down as if he just realized the situation he was in.

"P-p-penny…" he stammered. "You're exposed."

Penny grinned widely, touching her finger to his chin. "I know, sweetie. I did it on purpose."

Sheldon quickly looked up at her only to avert his eyes again. He really wanted to just flee this situation all together but Penny was still sitting on him. "I'm not sure what the protocol is here."

Penny rested her forearms on his naked shoulders, playing with the back of his hair. She figured using the most specific language as possible was the only way to get him to really understand what she wanted from him. "You're supposed to look appreciatively and touch my breasts."

Sheldon swallowed nervously and trailed his eyes back up to her chest. He had seen breasts before - both drawn representations and in television and film - but he hadn't ever had them so close to him in-real-life. Penny's breasts were full and round underneath, the tops sloping down from her chest and peaking at her bumpy, coral nipples. Her skin was a lighter complexion here, clearly contrasting her natural skin tone from the California, sun-kissed tan she sported everywhere else. Taking in the full-sight of her, Sheldon locked his focus but couldn't find the willpower to make the next move.

Noticing his stunned freeze, Penny reached down for his hands and placed them so that they cupped her gently. The contact jolted him, but she held his hands in place, insisting that he go through with this. Sheldon relaxed his fingers around her soft mounds, examining the weight of them with his palms. She let go of his hands and tossed her head back, arching her back to present them more fully to him.

Clearly Penny was throwing modesty completely out the window at this point. The explorer and scientist in Sheldon emerged, and he slowly tested the feel of her breasts in his hands. Grasping them more fully into his palms, he kneaded them gently as he felt their smooth texture and impossible softness. Sheldon couldn't remember feeling something so soft but solid all at once. As he played with her, he could feel the apex of her nipples hardening against the center of his hand. He understood that this erectile response was caused by the pilomotor reflex of the autonomic nervous system (which was also responsible for the goose bumps he noticed raising on her arm) that responded to tactile stimulation of the areolas or sexual arousal. The nipples were also a sensitive erogenous zone, especially in female primates, and had a strong neural connection to the genitals in the sensory cortex of the brain. Understanding both of these factors, he took a chance and ran his thumbs across them.

Penny shivered in pleasure once Sheldon got a clue and zeroed in on her nipples. She nodded and groaned in delight as he repeated his action, encouraging him to continue down this path. After a minute or two of letting him discover on his own what to do to with his thumb and forefinger, she tightened her hold on his neck, trying to ease his head forward.

"Use your mouth," she directed, angling her chest so that it paralleled with his face.

A heat flushed over Sheldon, starting from his scalp and running down his body like a warm liquid. He stared at the rosy peaks, unsure of what exactly she meant. He gazed up at her expected stare and felt the unfamiliar urge of not wanting to displease her. A voice in the back of his mind tried to remind him that Sheldon Cooper did not care about displeasing anyone, but another encouraging tug at the back of his neck propelled him forward.

He started at her sternum, pressing his face against the hardness of the plane, his rough chin scratching against her. He placed a single kiss there before moving his face down towards her left breast, his bottom lip grazing over her skin. Still cupping her breasts, he pushed the malleable flesh so that he could kiss the round swell presented to him. She froze in anticipation, waiting from his mouth to reach the place she wanted it most. Taking entirely too long, he finally ran his lips over her nipple. She sucked in a breath as he paused over the peak.

"Tell me what to do," he murmured, his breath sweeping over her, hardening the pointed tip even more.

"Flick your tongue," she commanded with breathy urgency. He did as he was told, his tongue strumming a throbbing chord that connected straight to her clit.

"Now gently, take it between your teeth and suck like you have on my neck," she instructed.

Sheldon gauged the exact pressure he had used before and sucked her pert nipple into his mouth. A moan like he hadn't heard from her before escaped and the sound stiffened him again. He continued the action, and after a few experimental tugs, threw in a few more tongue flicks, finding a rhythm that had Penny squirming above him. Her moans increased to a pitch that he associated with a feminine call of pleasure. Between pants, she told him to switch sides, and as soon as he latched onto her other breast, she directed his fingers to stimulate the previous one. Sheldon almost forgot completely about his own arousal while pleasuring Penny until she dropped her hips again and bounced on his erection. She rocked against him with a purpose, trying to find release in the tension building inside of her. She knew if she could just have a little time and hit it just right, she could have at least a small orgasm from the way he was working her on top in combination with the friction down below.

Sheldon was approaching something big and frightening. His toes were curled. His thighs were pulled tight, and he could feel the tale-tell pulsing deep in his pelvis. The idea of ejaculating in his pants with Penny on top mortified him, and despite his body wanting anything but her stopping, he couldn't let this continue.

"Stop!" he panted, gripping onto her hips. "I want to stop."

Penny raised herself on her knees looking down at him in concern, "Are you okay?"

Sheldon nodded his head but lifted and deposited her next to him on the bed. He flopped back onto the pillow, trying to catch his breath and calm his heart rate.

Penny looked over his body that glistened with a thin sheen of sweat. She let her eyes trail down to the bulge trying to bust out of his zipper. She had always felt him underneath her, but Sheldon had been very good about hiding his erections from her otherwise. She took in his size and shape now, glad that her suspicions were confirmed about the benefits of his height. Confined by his tight underwear, his shaft pointed off to the side, stretching across his hip. She could just make out the outline of the mushroom shape of his head. Mesmerized and determined, she reached out for him knowing exactly what it was that he needed.

Before she could even touch a single finger to him, he grabbed her wrist tightly, preventing her from proceeding any further.

"No," he said.

Penny gave him a curious look. "It's what you need," she tried to explain.

"Not today," he argued meeting her gaze and staring into her eyes. She saw the finality there and retracted her hand.

Sheldon folded his hands over his face and wondered to himself why he didn't let her just continue. He knew if she touched him, he would be finished in seconds. But one part of his hypothesis was that as long as he ejaculated with her, then this whole drive would be over and he would be done with this entire experiment. He wasn't sure if he was ready to be done yet.

He peaked below his hands at Penny stretched out beside to him. Still in her pajama bottoms and topless, she lounged on the bed, looking like she was having her own difficult time coming back to her senses. He watched as her breasts rose and fell with her deep breaths as she squeezed her thighs together tightly.

Penny could feel his eyes on her. She rolled over and crawled up towards him on the pillows. She planted a kiss on his lips, both of them lingering as they closed their eyes. Pulling away, she rested her head against his shoulder.

"Do you feel less tense?" she asked after a few silent moments, referring to their original purpose of coming into her room.

"Depends," he answered. "If you're inquiring about my shoulders and impending tension headache, then yes. If you're referring to the state of my arousal…no."

Penny stifled a laugh, "Well my intention wasn't to replace one tension with another. And the offer to help you with that is still on the table."

"Noted. And I don't hold it against you. Your back massage was a surprisingly adequate idea."

"I do have those from time to time," Penny quipped. "Good ideas."

"Given the evidence in the time I've known you, I wouldn't say that is an entirely inaccurate statement."

Penny sat up on her elbow and tried her best to look annoyed but found his shirtlessness and boyish wide-eye innocence hard to resist.

"You'll come around," she traced a finger over his forearm. "You just need to trust me more. Especially concerning these issues." She nodded her head downwards.

Sheldon followed her eyes and realized his erection still prominent and crudely displayed underneath his pants for her to see. He quickly folded his hands over it, flustered as Penny giggled next to him. He noticed she was not taking any measures to hide her own nakedness.

Penny looked back up into his face, leaning in close to where they almost touched noses. "I'll have to wait for you to see it my way," she kissed him sweetly on the lips. "Or I might just have to make you."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have only a peripheral understanding of gaming and a lot of scifi, so if I totally fudged up the references I make in this chapter, I apologize ahead of time. Maybe the ending will make up for it. :D

Chapter 10

Dragging his feet across the fourth floor landing, Leonard fished out his keys from his pocket. He missed the key slot entirely a few times, awkwardly poking at the door knob as his tired brain tried to understand the geometry. Once successful, he barged into the apartment, face-planting onto the leather couch.

"You're in my spot," Sheldon announced above him.

Groaning, Leonard shot a pointed glare at his roommate. Exhausted, he was too tired to argue with Sheldon at this point.

Sitting up, Leonard slouched on the middle cushion as Sheldon folded himself into his seat, placing his messenger back in his lap.

"How are your experiments?" Sheldon asked after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

"Okay," Leonard managed a smile through his tiredness. "I'll have a better idea once I analyze my data sets, but so far it seems I'm supporting my hypothesis."

Sheldon nodded his head, "Yes, well, positive data is always better then negative data – especially if you're just restating former work."

Leonard's smile fell, "What about you? I heard you got in a spat with Leslie Winkle over the mainframe timesheet."

"It wasn't a 'spat'. She took up all the slots, and I argued that it is beneficial of the university's time and money that that room be used for work that will actually change our understanding of string theory and physics as we know it."

Leonard jested with him, "Didn't your mother teach you that you have to share with others?"

"Yes, and she, as well as Leslie, lost that argument too."

"Well, I still see Leslie's name on the door."

Sheldon puckered his lips in annoyance, "I said she lost the argument. Not that she lost her privileges. Dr. Gablehauser didn't seem to agree with me."

Sheldon's cell phone chirped in his pocket. He checked to see that it was Raj letting him know he was waiting for him downstairs.

"Well, there's my ride. Good day, Leonard."

Sheldon quickly stood and walked over to the door, stopping short as he remembered something.

"Oh, and just to inform you, my sister Missy will be staying with us in a few weeks until she can find her own place."

Leonard popped his eyes open. He had already been nodding off, "Wait, what? You have a sister?"

"Yes, Leonard. And she will be staying with us temporarily in the next few weeks."

"How come I never knew that you had a sister?"

Sheldon shook his head. He was wasting his time, "Perhaps I've never mentioned her. And I'm sure if I did, you weren't paying much attention anyways. It's not surprising you don't remember. Good day."

Leonard stared at the door that his roommate disappeared behind for a few moments. Sheldon's sister. The concept of it terrified him to say the least. He hoped for all of their sakes, she wasn't anything like her brother.

* * *

"You know what I wish for sometimes with my warlock in WoW ," Howard offered to Sheldon and Raj as they ate lunch in the Cal Tech cafeteria. The seat Leonard usually occupied was notably absent.

"That you had the skill to play a non-face-roll class," Sheldon answered seriously.

Howard returned Sheldon's look, feeling the burn of his insult, "No."

Raj giggled next to him, "Sweet burn."

"You have no room to laugh," Howard shot at his friend. "You play a priest just because you thought their robes were 'pretty'."

Raj's jaw dropped in offense, "Hey, what's the point of buying a new graphics card if I'm not going to enjoy the backside of my character that I play for hours at a time."

"Speaking of backsides," Howard's characteristic perverted grin stretched across his face. "To my original point – I wish there was a way I could somehow cyber with my succubus."

"Dude, that's gross," Raj dropped his fork.

"How so?" Howard asked, offended at the accusation

"It's a 'player's pet'. I'm pretty sure that would be considered bestiality."

"She's a humanoid!"

"Yeah, but a different species."

Howard scoffed, "Well if we're using that as criteria, then all of my sexual encounters on WoW have been questionable."

"I don't know. Just the term 'pet' doesn't sit right with me."

"I take it your dalliances with Lucinda the Troll are dwindling if you're resorting to fantasizing about your minions," Sheldon concluded.

"Yeah," Howard's voice trailed off. "I think she's been avoiding me ever since I suggested that we take our encounters offline."

"Speaking of online gaming," Sheldon leaned forward excitedly. "Are you chaps up for a little questing this evening at my apartment? After we eat at Big Boy, of course."

Howard and Raj exchanged nervous glances with each other.

"I don't know," Raj avoided looking at Sheldon directly in the face. "Howard and I kind of have other plans."

Sheldon stared at them in surprise, "What do you mean other plans? It's Tuesday. We always eat at Big Boy on Tuesday."

"Yeah but we kind of figured since Leonard isn't going to be around, that that whole schedule would be off anyways for you," Raj shrugged his shoulders.

"When has my schedule ever changed for any reason?"

"How about this," Howard leaned forward and folded his fingers together. "We'll go on a quest with you tonight as long as we can use our Horde characters."

Sheldon's jaw dropped. "But you know I don't have any Horde characters. My level 60 rogue is Alliance."

"But the Alliance is filled with hyperactive, obnoxious 11 year olds who go into graphic detail on Ventrilo about all the things they want to do to our mothers. It's embarrassing to be associated with them," Raj whined.

"Regardless, we always play on the good side," Sheldon retorted.

"Well, Raj and I have better things to do then," Howard grinned conspiratorially.

Sheldon took in his expression and caught onto what Howard was trying to get out of him. "So basically you're saying you won't play with me unless I create a Horde character, which will take days to build up to any respectable level?"

Raj shook his head but Howard cut in, "Yep, that's what we're saying."

Sheldon stewed in his seat. It wasn't that he was necessarily against the idea of creating a new character; it was the principle of how Howard was trying to manipulate him.  _This very reason is why he is the acquaintance._

"Fine, we don't have to quest. Instead we can re-watch the beginning of season 3 of Battlestar Galatica I have saved on the DVR."

"Sorry, Sheldon. Like Raj said, we have other plans tonight," Howard packed up his lunch tray and stood up to leave.

Raj gave Sheldon a sympathetic look and shrugged his shoulders again, "Sorry, dude. It's nothing personal." Sheldon didn't believe him. "You wouldn't be interested in what we're doing anyways."

"Which is?"

"What else? Picking up women."

* * *

Sheldon sat in his spot: his 0, 0, 0, 0. While minimal, it was the only thing he could consider that would bring him comfort in this moment. After Raj dropped him off with another sympathetic frown as he drove away, Sheldon began considering the possibility that maybe Howard and Raj weren't as good of friends as he once thought. They seemed to be avoiding him since Leonard began working nights and Sheldon found he reverted back to spending his evenings as he once did before Leonard moved in - alone. Well – with the exception of when he spent them with Penny.

He had memorized Penny's schedule, and he knew she would be working until 7:00pm today. That was entirely too late for him to invite her to eat at Big Boy with him. It seemed he would have to get his Tuesday hamburger alone.

Coldness settled over Sheldon as he considered the betrayal of his friends. He imagined they would tell him that he was melodramatic – that they only weren't including him because they knew he wouldn't enjoy himself. He would never voice his concerns to them for this very reason. They never took him seriously, he realized. It might have taken him longer to understand social cues and rationale, but he wasn't an idiot. He could tell when people were avoiding him. He'd dealt with those clues and indications his entire life. While he understood that Howard and Raj were friends with Leonard first, he assumed sometime over the years they had become his friends as well.

Sheldon pushed the thoughts out of his mind and pulled up the bus schedule online.

* * *

Penny had an hour left of her shift. Today had been fairly slow and easy. Most of the customers she dealt with were distant but friendly. The dinner crowd consisted of a few scattered families interspersed between the servers' tables. She balanced a tray of starter salads for a family of four when one of the hostesses, approached her warily.

"There is a man who specifically requested your section at table 5," she whispered. Quirking her eyebrows up, she nodded her head over in that direction. "He seems a bit nuts to me, so I'd be careful."

Penny followed where the hostess' eyes were pointed and saw none other than Sheldon Cooper, wearing a brown super hero t-shirt with an orange undershirt. He inspected the table, his face contorted as if he wasn't impressed with what he saw. Penny sighed.

"Don't worry. I know him. And you're right. He is nuts."

Penny smiled warmly at Sheldon as she approached him, "Hey, Sheldon. What are you doing here all by yourself?"

That little pout she had become all too familiar with in the few months she had known him sprouted on his face. Penny would have found it adorable if she also hadn't experienced the whining and vamping up of his OCD that came with it.

"Raj and Howard have decided to throw all custom and tradition out the window and skip our Tuesday trip to Big Boy to "score with some chicks" as they put it," his shoulders sagged. "Since everyone else has abandoned me, I was left to either spend 30 minutes on the bus that is infested with Lord knows what kind of pathogens and Pasadena criminals or walk 10 minutes to this establishment."

Penny reached out and patted his shoulder, "I'm sorry to hear that sweetie. Just because Raj and Howard didn't want to eat dinner with you for one night doesn't mean they abandoned you though."

Sheldon snorted, "Considering they have been eating with me every Tuesday for years now and the only variable that is missing is Leonard's presence, I think it is fairly obvious that my company isn't what has been holding them to this schedule all this time."

Penny's heart sank. It did sound pretty shitty when he put it that way. She made a mental note to scold Howard and Raj next time she saw them.

"Well, what can I get for you today?"

"Since I have never been here, I'll need to look over the menu. Please bring me another one."

Penny gave him a quizzical look, "What's wrong with this one?" She gestured to the menu sitting in front of him.

"It has illegible scrawl across the front which from my observations appears to be from the non-toxic crayons that you no doubtedly provide to children when they dine at this restaurant. Children are riddled with diseases and for all I know, this menu could have recently come in contact with the vandal."

Penny rolled her eyes and snatched the menu up. Hopefully if she appeased him now, he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the evening. Sad as he may be, she was not going to spend her last hour running circles around this restaurant trying to justify Sheldon's crazy. She picked the newest looking menu she could find and returned to Sheldon's table.

"Here you go," She set the menu down in front of him.

Sheldon scanned the item in front of him and sighed heavily, "This one won't due either. If you look here…"

Her other table waved to her then and Penny took the moment to escape, "I've gotta go help this other customer, but you let me know what you want to order when I get back."

Giving Sheldon some time, she returned to his table finding him studying the menu like it was a strange, alien object that had just plummeted from the sky. She took a deep breath and mentally prepared herself.

"Figure out what you want?"

Sheldon folded the menu and set it down in front of him. Crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest, he replied, "I don't know what's good here."

"It's all good!"

"Statistically impossible. And considering that you have no familiarity with my taste palate or digestive sensitivities, you have no way of making that judgment."

Penny tapped her foot impatiently, "Well, what do you like from Big Boy?"

"I don't see how that's relevant considering I'm not at Big Boy."

Penny narrowed her eyes in a warning, "Look Sheldon, I'm not going to put up with this. Order something or go to Big Boy. It's your choice."

Sheldon sat back in his chair aghast, reminding her of a bird with its feathers ruffled, "Well, that is no way to speak to a patron. I would think as a waitress, you would understand that there is certain etiquette in giving you customers an appropriate time to decide if you want to keep any loyalty to this establishment."

Resisting the urge to throttle his skinny behind, Penny leaned in close to Sheldon's face as he craned his neck back as far as he could to get away from her.

"Order."

"I'd like lemonade, please," Sheldon conceded.

Penny tightly grinned and retreated back to the kitchen.

Returning with his drink in hand, she set the lemonade in front of him and pulled out her note pad with an expectant look. Meanwhile, Sheldon waited for her to ask him what he'd like. They stood in this stand-off for several moments until Sheldon's eye began to twitch.

"Penny, please! I can't tell you what I would like until you ask me, and I'm growing both impatient and hungry."

Through gritted teeth, Penny tried her best to sound peppy. Of course, it only came out sarcastic.

"What would you like to order,  _sir_?"

Sheldon relaxed into his seat and cocked his head high.

"I'd like the barbeque burger, well-done and cooked to at least 74 degrees Celsius, but considering the educational background of the staff here, just tell them 165 Fahrenheit. I want all of the vegetables off to the side and the French fries to be cut symmetrically and even proportions. Also, could you inform the cooks to wear gloves whenever touching my food?"

Penny stared at him dumbfounded. What should she expect, though? She knew he was like this from the first day they met. Sheldon furrowed his brows at her notepad.

"You didn't write any of that down. If your service today is any indication of the kind of waitress you usually are, well then it's no wonder you come around mooching on our food all the time."

Penny shot him the hardest death glare she could muster and stomped away. She was going to spit in his burger. She just had to now. She never tainted people's food, but he practically begged for it.

She ranted to the cooks about her crazy neighbor (leaving out the part that she has totally been fooling around with him these past few days) and how he wanted his burger and fries. They all joked around but agreed to make her life easier by overcooking his burger and picking out any fries that were too small. They definitely weren't going to wear any gloves. Penny didn't end up spitting in Sheldon's burger, but she plotted whether she should allow him to think she did.

Twenty minutes remained of her shift once Sheldon's burger was done. She didn't have any more tables left, and she really hoped Sheldon would finish his burger quickly and not order any desert so she could close out his check and leave. When she walked towards his table again, balancing his dinner order in her hand, some of her anger disappeared at the sad way he stared at his phone _. Ugh, no, you can't feel sorry for him. This is probably why they aren't hanging out with him in the first place._

But that thought only made her sadder.

"Here you go. One well-done barbeque burger, vegetables on the sides, and fries evenly proportioned."

"And cooked to 165 degrees?"

She smiled tightly at him, "Of course."

Sheldon inspected his plate.

"I guess this will be acceptable."

When Penny returned a few minutes later, Sheldon was scarfing down his burger with a satisfied grin on his face. She put on her best shit-eating smile as she approached him.

"Enjoying your burger, sweetie?"

"Very," Sheldon chewed the rest of his food and swallowed to clear his mouth. "I think I've found my new Tuesday hamburger."

_Balls._

"Are you sure? I mean you've been eating at Big Boy all these years…"

"Yes, but this burger is superior to Big Boy's burger in several ways. For example, the meat to bun ratio is satisfactory both in the thickness of the patty and the heartiness of the bun, where I've always found that at Big Boy their double-decker hamburger is a little heavy on the meat."

"Well, I'm glad you like it," she set the check down in front of him and patted him on the shoulder.

Sheldon continued as he pulled out his wallet, not even bothering to look at the bill, "Also, I've noticed that you always work the afternoon to evening shift on Tuesdays, and I would appreciate if you informed your manager to keep you on that shift so that you can serve me every week. I've been watching the other waitresses, and I am not impressed. One of them even had her fingers in someone's food while she carried the plates." He shuddered.

Penny collected his bills and the check. At least he was in a better mood. Though the idea of having to deal with serving Sheldon every week kind of put a fire under her ass to contact her agent about more auditions. She'll be damned if she spent the rest of her life only having to look forward to serving him his Tuesday hamburger.

Penny noticed Sheldon had given her two twenties when his bill only came out to $9.58. She entered only one of the bills, figuring he made a mistake by pulling both of them out and returned to his table with his change. Sheldon was pulling on his jacket once she returned.

"Here's you're change, Sheldon," She set the black booklet down on his table. "I'll see you a little later."

"Wait, you're supposed to keep the change, Penny," he pulled her attention back to him.

"Sweetie, you gave me forty dollars."

"I know."

Penny blinked at him. "What?"

Sheldon picked up the book and handed it back to her, "The rest is your tip. Now, I know your shift is over, so I was wondering if you wouldn't mind driving me back home."

Penny delicately picked up the booklet. "This is a thirty dollar tip."

"Actually its thirty dollars and forty-two cents," he corrected.

This tip more than doubled what she would be taking home that day, "Sheldon…"

He interrupted her, "Can you drive me home?"

She sighed, "Of course. Just let me clock out."

While she collected her things from her cubby, she considered if Sheldon was always this generous with tipping, then having to deal with his annoying particularities concerning food wouldn't be so bad every week. Hell, she would settle for a lot more for a lot less.

She met him outside and steered him towards her car as he glared at someone enjoying a cigarette nearby. He jerked his arm out of her hold, despite having had his tongue in her mouth and now her serving his food. She wasn't sure if it was because he didn't want her touching him like that in general or just because they were in public. But she was too tired to overanalyze it at this moment.

"This was fun," Sheldon beamed next to her. "You providing me with a service of your chosen profession. If you ever need any quantum mechanics equations derived, I'm your man." He let out a breathy chuckle that startled her. This had to be the first time she had ever seen him so… happy? And she couldn't remember ever hearing him laugh before.

Penny smiled up at him. He returned with a smile back, still amused at his own joke. A fuzzy warmness settled in her chest when their eyes met.

Unlocking her car, she and Sheldon climbed into the front seats. She started the engine and backed out of the space, noticing from the corner of her eye Sheldon struggling with the seatbelt. Once she pulled onto the main road heading back to their apartment and Sheldon had settled down, he turned to her and said, "Your check engine light is on."

* * *

Sheldon grilled her about her damn light all the way home. Penny practically ran up the stairs, trying her best to get away from him but his long stride kept him right at her heels the entire way.

"The likelihood of dying in a car accident is more than any other form of transportation!" He continued to lecture. "You're apathy over this situation is really disturbing."

"Alright!" Penny threw her arms down to her sides as they reached the fourth story. "Sheldon, if you say one more word about that light, I will go all Junior-Rodeo on your ass!"

Alarmed and confused by her threat, he responded, "I'm not really sure I understand. Are you going to lasso me? Or force me to ride a bucking bull?"

"Do you really want to find out?"

Sheldon cowered under her glare and shook his head. Penny turned toward her apartment and fished out her keys.

"Penny…" his voice was quiet and almost childlike as he called her attention. She turned her angry eyes on him.

"What?" she snapped.

He nervously averted his eyes, holding his hands down by his sides. "I would like to invite you to spend the evening watching Battlestar Galactica with me."

Penny pushed her body against her door, "Honey, I'm really tired, and I just want to relax at home tonight."

Sheldon nodded his head sheepishly. Penny turned her key and opened the door.

"Wait!" he called, taking a few steps forward. "What if I let you choose what we watch?" he offered.

Penny shook her head, smiling sadly at him, "You do realize you've been driving me crazy all night, don't you?"

Sheldon folded his hands and looked down at his fingers, opting out of responding.

She could already feel her resolve crumbling at his sad expression. He really couldn't function without his friends, could he? As much as he tried to pretend he didn't need anybody, one night of being dismissed by others and he latched onto her to spend time with him. If this were any other man, despite their arrangement with one another, she would have been suspicious that this was only about sex. But she really believed that all Sheldon wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch TV with her.

"Fine, we can watch your Battlestar show." She was a sucker. A total sucker.

Sheldon practically hopped where he stood, "Goodie! I'll make the popcorn and you change out of that filthy uniform. I can't have your gravy stains getting on my couch."

* * *

"What the hell!" Penny exclaimed. "He can't just surrender to them! They're evil!"

"He had no choice," Sheldon explained. "Weren't you paying attention? They were going to kill all of the prisoners otherwise. Gaius had to surrender to them."

"But there has to be another way! He's essentially saying it's okay for these jerks to just rule over them! And why are they so concerned with the humans anyways? If there is so little of them, why does it matter if they're imprisoned, dead, alive, whatever?"

Sheldon turned to face her, resting his elbow on the back of the couch, "The Cylons, while the antagonists of this series, are not completely evil. They have a righteous cause based on their religion. They see all the destruction that humans have brought, as well as their own original enslavement, and they want to stop them. While accurate in their reason, I do not hold sympathy with their faith-based prerogative. Also, as the series has progressed, it seems that as the Cylons develop higher intelligence, this ideology is making them just as irrational and destructive as humanity."

"So you're siding with the robots?" Penny scoffed. "Figures."

"I'm not siding with them. I have developed an affinity and appreciation for the characters of the fleet. I'm simply pointing out to you that good vs. evil isn't so black and white in this series."

Penny reached into her popcorn bowl but her fingers only met with kernels. She peered over at Sheldon's, but he had apparently finished his a while ago. While engaging, she grew bored and annoyed watching the show, mostly because Sheldon had them start at season 3 rather than going back to the beginning. She didn't really have any idea what was going on.

Setting her bowl down on the coffee table, she trailed her eyes over to Sheldon. He had his left arm propped on the arm of the couch, adopting a more relaxed posture as he watched the show. His face indicated his thorough engagement with the program and the distance between them suggested that there wouldn't to be any Sheldon-initiated hanky panky tonight.

Well if she had to watch a show that she held little interest or understanding the content, she was going to get something out of it. She slowly scooted her butt across the cushions until she pressed into Sheldon's side. Smiling up at his confused expression, she gave him a little wave, "Hi."

"Hello…" Sheldon squirmed closer towards the arm of the couch. "This doesn't seem like a logical seating arrangement considering you have the rest of the couch to sit."

"It's called cuddling, Sheldon."

"Oh…" he pondered this for a second. "Is this an activity that friends with benefits usually engage in?"

Penny considered it for a second. Not really, though other arrangements don't have only one party doing all of the chasing.

"Yes," she decided to say.

"Very well."

Sheldon found it a peculiar way to watch TV. Penny rested her head on his shoulder and ran her hand across his abdomen. After a few minutes, the arm trapped between them began losing circulation, so he adjusted his position and rested it across the back of the couch. This prompted Penny to snuggle into him even closer, her body leaning against his side.

Sheldon relaxed his stiff position as he became habituated to Penny's presence. With every intake of breath, the scent of Penny's air wafted into his nasal passageways which he now determined was the source of the fragrance he came to associate with her. He expected Penny using him as her own personal pillow to become uncomfortable and hot, but his body responded favorably to Penny's closeness. A novel comfort settled over him as she ran her fingers across his belly and every so often would nuzzle her face into his chest.

Picking up a lock of her blonde hair, he studied the light color, soft texture, and even uniformity of the strands bundled together. He never really paid mind much to women's hair. He thought the notion that long hair was an aspect of feminine beauty to be silly, especially how uncomfortable it seemed to have that much unnecessary hair hanging on one's head all the time. But he found that he quite liked Penny's hair. She wore it just to her shoulders and her bangs shaped her face nicely. At this proximity, he noticed a whole array of colors in her hair. While he was fairly positive she dyed it this color, the highs and lows of the tones that were clearly from her original color underneath fascinated him.

Sensing Sheldon's attention had shifted elsewhere, Penny turned her face up and pressed her lips to his. He kissed her for a few quick seconds before pulling away.

"Penny, we're watching this."

"Just a second ago, you didn't seem all that interested in the show."

Sheldon blushed, realizing he had been caught. "Well, I want to watch it now."

Penny rolled her eyes and grabbed his jaw between her hands. "Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

She trapped him with her hot, demanding mouth and gripping hands as she dominated the situation. Sheldon could do very little to stop her and surrendered to her shift in mood. She practically bullied him into this, he reasoned. There wasn't much he could do.

With a little coaxing, Penny had Sheldon fully engaged and committed to this make out session. She realized that they had never actually done anything in his apartment before, and certainly not while he was sitting in his sacred spot. She got a little thrill at the idea of corrupting his sanctuary. As Sheldon gently touched her tongue with his, she ran her right hand down his body, settling at the waistband of his pants. She could feel the vaguest pressure of his erection grazing the top of her hand.

Getting an idea, Penny deepened the kiss, sucking Sheldon's bottom lip into her mouth as she placed her hand on his bulge, gripping the hard shaft.

Sheldon whimpered into her mouth. He reflexively grabbed for her forearm, intending to stop her, but found his strength left him as her hand stroked him through his pants. She continued to kiss him with long, languid strokes of her tongue and lips, but he found it difficult to keep up with her due to all of his attention focused on the kneading pressure against him.

Penny already had unbuttoned his pants and was now working on his zipper once he realized what she intended to do.

"Penny," he called to her in what he hoped was a convincing plea for her to slow down, but even he could tell that there had been little sincerity behind his utterance.

"Shhh," she whispered into his ear, kissing him against his neck. "You have to trust me."

Sheldon removed his hand from her forearm and buried his fingers in her hair. He hung his neck low so that they were cheek to cheek and he panted heavily into her now tangled blonde locks.

Sensing his submission, Penny worked quickly as she pulled his pants down, revealing his signature white briefs. An unfamiliar nervousness washed over her then that she hadn't felt about touching a man since she became sexually active. Something about the newness of the situation for Sheldon charged her in a way that she hadn't felt about sex in a long time. Releasing a quivering breath, she hooked her hands into the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down to the middle of his thighs.

Penny took in the sight of his hardness and had the sudden compulsion to call someone or at least tweet that not only did Sheldon have genitals, but they were both functional and aesthetically pleasing. She really didn't know what she expected, but she found herself in awe of just how pristine his dick was. His shape was thick and straight, the head capping his shaft with a smooth roundness. A single, large vein ran down the length of him, disappearing into his scrotum which was pulled tightly towards his body. He wasn't scary big, but he had enough girth and length that her mind spinned with the possibilities of what he would feel like inside of her. As she slowly descended her hand, a jolt of delight shot through her as he twitched in anticipation of her touch.

She could feel his pulse against her palm as she formed a tight grip around his shaft. She felt him suck in a deep breath as she made contact. She moved her hand down slowly, earning a shudder from him as he squeezed his hands in her hair more tightly.

She started at a slow pace, not wanting to overwhelm him so quickly. She pulled away from his death grip around her head so that he could watch what she was doing to him. Sheldon found himself in a battle of wanting to see her hand touch him in a way that only he had ever done to himself but also needing to close his eyes from the intense pleasure that shivered its way up his body. He settled with leaning his head back against the couch and folding his hands across his forehead as he peered underneath at her hand working over him.

Penny really wanted to go down on him. Unlike some women, Penny really enjoyed giving head. She liked the way it felt in her mouth, and she also liked the sense of power it gave her to have a man submit so completely to her. But she figured that Sheldon would probably have a panic attack if she tried it just yet. His breathing staggered already, and she concluded he wasn't going to last long anyways. She tightened her grip and quickened her pace, putting more force on her way down and flicking her wrist to squeeze his head on her way up.

Usually Sheldon could judge when he was about to orgasm, the intensity steadily rising until he felt the spasms begin at his base. But the quickness and ferocity at which his ejaculation hit as Penny stroked him firmly surprised him. He cried out, "Sweet Jesus!" as his body jerked and the spasms of his climax blinded his vision.

Penny slowly finished him off as he spurted over her hand. His cum was warm and thick as it ran down her fingers. Once she felt his swollen erection settle into her palm, still hard but no longer twitching in her grip, she got up and went to fetch a towel from the bathroom. Sheldon barely noticed she had left. It was as if the earth's gravity somehow in that moment had changed, putting an immense amount of pressure for him to stay in his spot. He couldn't sit up even if he wanted to try.

Penny returned, wiping off her hand and then tried to clean him off. He placed his hand over hers, stopping her ministrations and grabbing the towel. Still with his eyes closed, he wiped himself down. Noticing she kept staring at him, she focused her eyes away from his erection (which was still hard) and took in the rest of him. His head still remained tossed back over the top of couch, his Adam's apple bobbing on every inhale and exhale as he caught his breath. Penny figured she could get used to the site of Sheldon so utterly unwound.

Trailing her eyes down, she noticed that they had made more of a mess then she realized. Somehow, Sheldon had shot so far that he not only had a stain on his shirt, but also on the couch by his shoulder.

Sheldon woke from his trance by Penny's tinkling giggles beside him. He looked at her and took in her bright eyes as she tried hiding her smile with her hands.

"What do you find so humorous?" he asked.

Penny pointed beside him and he turned to look.

"Oh, no, no, no, no!" he fumbled off the couch, pulling his briefs and pants back up.

"It's okay, honey!" She called after him as he scrambled uncoordinatedly towards the kitchen sink. "It'll wipe right off."

"Penny!" he screeched, standing up holding some kind of cleaning solution. "That's  _my spot_!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Sheldon stood in the second aisle of the grocery store which included items for health purposes such as over-the-counter drugs and feminine hygiene products. Near the pregnancy tests (which alarmed Sheldon that a simple rosette inhibition assay could be so expensive), his attention drew to the prophylactics. He figured if he planned to engage in coitus with Penny, he would need these.

The selection overwhelmed him. There were so many varieties in brand, size, state of lubrication, latex or ovine skin, flavored, spermicidal, ribbed for her pleasure, packs of 3-12, or large bulk boxes. He didn't realize that the act of sexual intercourse could be so complicated. It appeared he needed to have a goal and agenda just to decide what kind of condom to buy. So what was his angle? Protection? Fertilization prevention? Vaginal stimulation? Taste? And where did the information exist to know what size to get? What constituted needing a "magnum"? As far as he knew, his penis size measured above average then the normal American male, but were condoms designed one size fit all? Should he size up just to be sure? And what about material? He knew he didn't have a latex allergy at least on his hands, but he understood that areas with mucus membranes were more sensitive. And what about Penny? What would she prefer in all of this? It seemed considering this object would be going inside her body, she should at least have an input on the matter.

Sheldon sighed. A petite blonde woman wearing red frame glasses and a navy apron approached him.

"Can I help you find anything?" she asked. Her voice reminded Sheldon of fictional depictions of fairies and nymphs.

Sheldon shook his head and sighed again, looking back to the shelves, "I suppose you can…" He darted his eyes to her name tag, "Bernadette… I'm having trouble deciding which brand of prophylactics to buy."

The young woman widened her eyes and turned to face the products, "Well, what exactly are you looking for?"

"That's the thing," Sheldon explained. "I'm not sure of my goal, and considering I don't have my female sexual partner available here, I can't very well ask her."

Bernadette frowned, "Well, it's really all about personal preference. They're all effective in preventing pregnancy."

"What do you like?" he asked.

Bernadette floundered a bit, her cheeks reddening, "Well, um, the ribbed ones are okay, I guess. And if you want protection during oral sex, the flavored ones seem like a reasonable option, though I've never tried them."

"Huh, I never even considered oral sex. I suppose that is something that will come up…" Sheldon's mind wandered. "What have you used for oral sex?"

Bernadette looked around them, hoping no one else actually could hear this. "Well, uh… I mean… I guess nothing?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "Well, even though you haven't been much help, thank you anyways for trying."

"You're welcome," Bernadette eyed him as she walked away.

Sheldon scanned the shelves once more, sighing and shaking his head. He left the aisle, giving up on this quest to finish his shopping.

As Sheldon made his way down the aisles checking off items from his grocery list, his mind wandered to his budding sexual relationship with Penny. What she did for him Tuesday night became his major focus for the rest of the week. He knew from his masturbatory experiences and his brief encounters with endocrinology research that orgasms were a euphoric and pleasurable phenomenon; however, the release he experienced by Penny's hand was like nothing he could imagine. The power of his climax shocked him as if he had been electrocuted. His muscles pulled taut but instead of pain, spasms of immense pleasure pulsed through him. He could only describe the calm that settled into his body after she stopped as the closest state of reaching meditation that he would ever achieve (considering he found the practice to be silly and hokum).

Of course, all of that was disturbed by Penny pointing out to him that he had soiled his spot with his erratic shooting of his seminal fluids. While he thoroughly appreciated her bringing him to climax, he did not appreciate her tittering giggles that followed as he scrubbed and disinfected his spot. Needless to point out, they did not progress any further that night since the mood had been thoroughly killed.

Sheldon recorded the observation in his daily journal log of social interactions (that recently resembled an electronic lab notebook of his experimental explorations with Penny) that in the days following Penny bringing him to orgasm with her hand, Sheldon did not feel a quelling of his sexual desires to pursue further interactions with her as he predicted. He thought, considering his initial hypothesis, that he might find himself relaxing to his neighbor after he experienced a physiological completion due to her presence. It appeared that, similar to his reaction to kissing her, his body only further indicated that it needed to actually achieve coitus with Penny if he wanted to find any kind of serenity from his desires.

The thought of further engaging in sexual activities with Penny, now that he had more of a taste of just what those experiences entailed, thrilled him in a way that he had not experienced in a long time.

A dilemma emerged with these recent developments. One of the mores that Sheldon understood between sexual partners was the act of reciprocity. In common terms, now that she had given Sheldon  _his,_  he had to give her  _hers._  While Penny in no way suggested this would be the next course as captain of this enterprise, he found that he wanted to please her as she did him. Remembering the lovely noises she made as he fondled and nuzzled her breasts rewarded him in a way that he did not anticipate. Sheldon considered himself to be unlike humans in many ways besides his intelligence. His asocial preferences and indifference to whether others were happy or pleased with him had been his primary experience his entire life (with the exception of his Meemaw which devastated him anytime she was ever angry or disappointed in him). Penny was different. Her role as instructor prompted an urgency to do well and excel in this craft which he found did not come as naturally as other subjects. Hearing her respond favorably to the way he touched her body motivated him even more.

Considering this, Sheldon became frantic with the idea of exactly how he would achieve bringing Penny to orgasm. He knew very little about female anatomy and tried doing research over the past few days to study their reproductive system that, up until this point, he mostly ignored. It seemed that not only did female genitals rival in complexity to their male counterparts, but the research behind female sexual behavior, desire, and pleasure was incredibly lacking despite the wide breadth of literature on the subject. This left Sheldon with more questions than answers.

Fortunately, Penny thus far had not embarrassed or scolded him for being naïve when it came to sex. If anything, he experienced patience from her that only a select few have ever tried with him. She encouraged and instructed him rather than trying to best his intelligence or hold some kind of power over him. She used her authority on the subject to ease him into the situation, despite how he sometimes just wanted to bolt from the room. She also told him to trust her even when she pushed him past his comfort zone. He never regretted what they did together afterwards, demonstrating that he could indeed trust her with this part of himself.

She made the entire process enjoyable, and he found himself admiring Penny for continuously surprising him. He didn't anticipate that he would form this kind of affection for her when he entered into this arrangement, but Sheldon began to realize that Penny quickly was moving up in the ranks of his friends. Especially after Raj and Wolowitz decided to leave him out of their new weekly excursions with each other, Sheldon began to consider the idea that Penny might someday be his secondary best friend. While she didn't fulfill the same role that Leonard or the others did in the sense that she shared common interests or could hold a conversation with him about string theory and the origins of the universe, he discovered that he cared less about those aspects because he genuinely enjoyed Penny's nature and personality. It was an odd concept for him to grasp, seeing someone for more than their utility in his life. While Penny definitely served a utility (to a need that she brought on, it should be noted), he realized that there was something more there that he couldn't explain yet.

Considering all of this, Sheldon committed to the idea of pleasing Penny, but he still would require some of her guidance of how achieve this goal.

* * *

After Leonard left for work that evening, Sheldon waited a solid half hour before he mustered up the courage to head to Penny's. She had worked the morning shift, and he presumed she came home sometime while he was at the university. He hoped she still resided in her apartment and hadn't decided to spend her Friday night out with friends or on a date. Sheldon stewed over the idea that they did not set up a Friends with Benefits Contract so that these uncertainties of her whereabouts and who she might be engaging in sexual activity with besides him could be known. He held his breath as he crossed the hall, mechanically knocking on her door.

He exhaled as she opened the door, her hair tossed into a floppy ponytail and wearing comfortable clothing. Clearly she had intended to stick around her apartment tonight. She greeted him with a smile, her hand magnetically reaching out to him and wrapping her fingers around his forearm. Sheldon kept a record of all the times she touched him unintentionally this way, her reasoning still unbeknownst to him.

"Hi," she chirped up at him, her eyes shining in the lighting of the hallway.

"Hello," Sheldon nodded his head. "I would like to spend the evening with you if you did not have other plans."

Penny shook her head, using her hand on his arm to pull him inside. The hair on Sheldon's neck prickled as he tried to think of the proper way to ask her what he wanted, but his thoughts were quelled by Penny wrapping herself around him and planting a kiss on his lips. She held him tightly against her body, sinking into his chest as she relaxed under him once he responded to her kiss. He placed his open palm on the dip of her lower back, keeping her in place.

Penny might be confused in general with the world. She wasn't a scientist like Sheldon. She didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. A long phone call with her mother just now reminded her that she had no ambitions or plans, heading nowhere fast with her current route. But one thing Penny did know was to listen to her intuitions. Her intuitions had been screaming at her all her life to get the hell out of Nebraska. Her intuitions sensed that Kurt was bad news from the start. And her intuitions seemed to understand that whatever this thing she had with Sheldon, it was exactly what she needed to escape the demands of the real world, at least temporarily. After she hung up with her mother and cried a little over her bills that were now piling up on her kitchen table, she contemplated just going over to Leonard and Sheldon's, whether Leonard was there or not, and escaping into another lesson with Dr. Cooper. It was eerie how he showed up in that moment, his knocks tapping on her front door. The rational part of her brain understood on some level that the pull she felt towards him for this comfort treaded a fine line that shouldn't be crossed in these kinds of relationships, but Penny never really tried listening to that side of herself.

The force and urgency behind Penny's kisses surprised Sheldon. He had experienced a lot of different kisses with her: light pecking, frenzied tonguing, neck nuzzling, lip nibbling, slow moving, and even hard suckling. He couldn't place where this kind of kiss fell into Penny's previous lessons. She squeezed him tightly with her hands, almost climbing up his body to reach his mouth. Rubbing her hands from his shoulders to the back of his head, she pressed his face into hers more aggressively, while moving her lips frantically against his. He didn't understand what goal she had in mind, but so far it seemed to counter his own agenda. Remembering the ways that she dominated their kissing, Sheldon pulled her middle closer into his body and placed his other hand on her cheek, angling her face the way he wanted to kiss her. She happily submitted to him as he slowed down their kisses to a languid pace. The anxiety jittering Penny's bones eased away in those slow movements, and her worries disappeared.

Once he felt in control, Sheldon pulled away looking into Penny's face for answers. She only returned his gaze, her cheeks glowing with a pink hue.

With his request lodged in his throat, Sheldon released Penny from his hold and rubbed his hands together. Penny eyed him carefully, his tale-tell nervous ticks indicating to her that he had something embarrassing to ask her. Ignoring his start-stop attempts, she pushed him into her room. Once inside, she crawled onto her bed, lying on her side as she waited for Sheldon to join her. He remained standing awkwardly in the center of the room, so Penny patted the bed next to her invitingly. Sheldon shook his head in rejection.

"I'd like to say something first," he answered her quizzical expression.

Penny sat up, folding her hands in her lap and giving him her full attention.

Sheldon crossed his arms behind his back, quickly organizing a formal proposal (he found comfort in formalities) before he spoke. "I propose that this evening we engage in activities where I return your generous ministrations that you performed on me by finding a pattern of stimulation that you deem both pleasurable and satisfying in its completion."

Penny cocked her head to the side, examining him curiously. "You know, despite that that was a mouthful of words, I actually understood it. I think I'm getting better at 'Sheldonese'."

Sheldon's eye twitched. He almost had hoped that this would be another moment where she couldn't understand him.

"So do you accept or reject my proposal?"

Penny sat up on her knees, shuffling to the foot of the bed where he stood. He still towered over her at this angle, but she found herself more at eye level with him.

"Let me see if I have this right," she hummed as she slid her arms across his shoulders. "You want to 'return the favor' from Tuesday night by touching me, is that right?"

Sheldon swallowed and nodded his head.

"And you would like to do this until I cum?"

Sheldon flushed and then nodded his head.

Penny smiled brightly, "How is a girl to resist your charms?"

Sheldon eyed her, "Sarcasm?"

Penny shook her head, realizing how excited she felt at the prospect, "Not this time."

She kissed him, pulling his body down over hers so that he could climb onto the bed. He followed her as she back crawled to the pillows and lied down on top of the covers with her arms still firmly wrapped around his neck. He hadn't been over her like this when they kissed in the past, and he noticed that he strangely liked to be hovering over Penny even if he knew that lying on the bed would be much more comfortable. He wasn't sure what pressure to use so that he wouldn't hurt her, but Penny seemed totally fine with him relaxing his entire body in line with hers. She spread her legs around his hips, running a foot on the back of his calf as she slipped her tongue into his mouth. He noticed they primarily kissed like this now, and despite his eidetic memory, it had become difficult for him to imagine a time when he didn't kiss Penny this way. It felt so natural to slide his tongue against hers in between their lips pressing together.

Penny slipped her hands below his shirts and ran her fingernails across his hips, earning a shutter from Sheldon in response. She tugged at his layers, indicating to him that she wanted them off. As he followed her silent demand, Penny pulled her shirt off as well, keeping her white-push up bra on. He took in the sight of her round breasts before burying his face into her neck, kissing her across her shoulder. She noticed how hesitant he remained about assuming he could touch her. She grabbed his hand, interlacing her fingers with his briefly before guiding it behind her back to the clasp. Sheldon didn't need any more instruction that Penny intended for him to remove her bra. He felt the hooks and clasps, forming a visual representation in his mind of what held this fabric together and quickly unhooked it.

Penny giggled in surprise as the material loosened around her. Sliding the straps down her arms, Sheldon asked, "Was that supposed to be humorous?"

"No," Penny giggled again. "It's just most guys aren't very good at that, and I expected you to be the same."

"Penny," Above her like this, the look he gave her seemed even more condescending. "I am a physicist. I have a working memory of the universe and everything it encompasses."

"Uh huh," she rolled her eyes and kissed him before he could say any more.

For Sheldon, it felt even better to be pressed against her skin to skin. Remembering the soft, mewling noises she made the last time, Sheldon ran his hand up her side, cupping her breast in his hand. He grazed his thumb over her nipple, earning an encouraging nip at his lip from her. Bowing his head, he kissed his way down her chest. He understood that if he were to be successful in his goals for tonight, he had to start with the basics of what he knew worked. Taking a pink tip into his mouth, he swirled his tongue against the pebbling flesh. A gasp caught in Penny's throat as she tensed her body beneath him. Though still gentle and tentative, she noticed an improvement in his technique as the chills running down her spine coordinated with the tugging of his teeth. His abdomen rested across her lap, and with each wave of pleasure, she pressed herself against his stomach with delicious pressure, rolling her hips in tune with his movements.

After a few minutes of this slow torture, Penny grew frustrated with his pace. Though she had been tending to her own needs these past few weeks, fooling around with Sheldon without a big bang finale had been driving her a little crazy. It wasn't like her to hold off gratification like this, and the prospect of it happening tonight broke her patience. She snuck her hands between them and slid her pants down her legs.

Sheldon felt Penny grinding against him and groaning as he sucked and licked at her breasts. He found her movements encouraging, so it surprised him when she stopped and he felt her hands come between them. He looked down to find Penny without any pants (as she was kicking them off her ankles at this point) and only wearing purple cotton panties.

"I want you to take them off," she said, resting her hands back onto the bed. Sheldon popped his head back up, looking at her face in surprise. She bit her lip and squirmed under him, nodding her head impatiently, not wanting to have to ask him twice. He returned his gaze back to her underwear, fears settling into his stomach. For some reason, he felt more anxiety about seeing Penny for the first time then when she saw him. She would be completely exposed to him, and no mystery about her body would remain. Breathing in deeply through his nose, Sheldon ran his hands down her hips, feeling the softness of the cotton as he bunched the sides into his fists. He slowly pulled down the material, and Penny raised her hips to assist him while he kept his eyes trained to the purple material until they were off her legs. Though Penny had carelessly strewn the rest of her clothes around the room, Sheldon folded her undergarment and set it on top of his shirts placed on the corner of the bed.

She watched him in fascination as he returned his eyes to her body. An anxiety overcame her at what he would think. She wasn't insecure about her body, but this was Sheldon and for all she knew, he could take one look at her lady bits and decide this wasn't for him. Her legs were still spread and she could feel the moisture that had built up from their earlier actions. She sucked in her breath at the same time he did while he took in the sight of her splayed out in front of him. At first, Sheldon compared Penny to the anatomical diagrams he had seen of the female vulva, identifying and mentally labeling her parts for purposes of orienting himself. But as his eyes took her in, his mental cataloguing ceased and he could only describe what he felt in that moment as an aesthetic arrest. Her mound was shaved close, leaving a short patch of hair at her pubic bone. Her lips reminded him of the orchid petals in a botany book he had read once out of curiosity. They glistened in the dim light of her bedroom. He understood that female genitals became lubricated when they experienced sexual arousal, preparing the vagina for intromission. A thrill ran up his spine at the thought that he sexually excited Penny. He assumed she had at least had a few partners before him, and he imagined compared to them he was a fumbling amateur. But the physical representation of Penny's desire for him elicited a new confidence, squashing his insecurities temporarily.

He leaned forward and kissed Penny on the lips again, running his hands down her smooth thighs. Moving his kisses to her ear, he softly spoke, "You must show me what to do to please you."

Penny moaned at his words. She wondered if it was a bit kooky to be so turned on by his obtuseness, but she delighted in the idea of telling him exactly how she wanted him, forgoing the awkward poking and probing most guys did until she directed them anyways. She decided that the best way to do this would be to physically guide his hands rather than just giving verbal instructions. Grabbing his right hand with hers, she lined his fingers on top of hers.

"I want you to follow my hand," she whispered as she placed a kiss on his chin. Sheldon relaxed his hand on top of hers, letting her guide him to her.

Penny stroked her fingers down her slit with him following her movements. Spreading her moisture around, she moved back up, pressing her fingers and Sheldon's against her clit. She started slow and gentle on her hooded nub, testing her sensitivity and waiting for Sheldon to match her circular pace. Once they were moving together and Penny could feel that they were touching her just right, she pressed their fingers down firmly, wanting Sheldon to feel exactly what pressure she liked to have right here. As she moved her rotations faster, Sheldon's fingers kept slipping off of hers and soon only his fingers were pressing down on her. She pulled her hand back slowly, relaxing as he worked her sensitive nerve-endings. She hadn't noticed until then that she added a soft mewling to her pants every time his fingers pressed a sharp jolt from the apex of her mound into her spine. Moving her hips counter-clockwise, she increased the pressure of his rubbing.

Sheldon watched in fascination as Penny's eyes shut tight in pleasure and her mouth hung open, vocalizing her approval. Her skin was soft and moist against his fingers as he rolled her firm clitoris. It surprised him how much pressure Penny seemed to enjoy on this delicate area of her sex. Testing, he pulled the bud between his forefinger and middle finger and was greeted with a high-pitched gasp. He stopped his movements, afraid he had hurt her.

"No! Don't stop! Just like that," she assured him through her pants.

Sheldon mimicked his action. Needing to touch him, Penny braced her hands on his shoulders. She could feel her climax building and knew she could orgasm just with this alone. But she wanted those long fingers of his inside of her, and she mentally fought off her climax to instruct him again.

Reaching her hand between them, she grabbed his fingers and lined his hand with hers again. Sheldon took her cue and followed her as she guided his fingers down, stopping at her entrance. She pressed him inside, feeling her own tightness as they both entered her. It was strange but erotic to feel him inside of her with her own fingers. When the padding of his pointer grazed her G-spot, she pressed on his digit.

"Do you feel that," She whimpered, knowing very well that he must.

Sheldon's brain clouded. He was inside of Penny's slick entrance, and he wasn't sure what she meant. Her hot temperature? Her wetness? The velvet texture? Her muscles clenching around him?

"I…. I'm not s-sure."

Penny pressed the tip of his finger firmer into her for emphasis. She stifled a moan that tried to escape.

"That," she replied. "That springy- like spot."

Sheldon wiggled his finger experimentally, feeling what she meant. She moaned underneath him, sliding her hand away from him.

Every time Sheldon pressed into this spot, she responded by clenching her vaginal muscles around him harder. He moved his finger in and out of her, focusing his pressure where she had directed him. She responded by crying out into his shoulder, digging her hands into his back.

As he added a second finger, Penny groaned into his ear again.

"This is your Gräfenberg Spot," Sheldon muttered, speeding up his pace.

Penny nodded her head, not really caring that she hadn't heard it referred to that before. Her breaths were sharper now, and she rocked her hips into his hand, his palm hitting her clit.

"Now," she panted. "I want you to take your other hand and touch me as I showed you before, but keep doing what you're doing."

Sheldon concentrated on the rhythm of his fingers thrusting into her, as he found her nub again. He rolled over it in circles as she had showed him before, and he marveled as her cries turned into calls to an unknown-deity.

"Oh god," she chanted over and over again. Her walls clamped tighter around him now, pulling his fingers deeper inside her. Penny's orgasm hit her surprisingly fast, her muscles twitching as she groaned through the waves of pleasure that shot through her entire body, culminating in her spasming center.

Sheldon watched Penny's face in awe as she came, raptured by her ecstasy and beauty in that moment. Though physiologically impossible, he could have sworn he felt himself climax with her in that moment, though his penis remained rock hard against his hip, throbbing for attention.

Once Penny relaxed against his hand, Sheldon pulled his fingers out. He had an urge to wash her slickness off but felt she would probably construe this action as rude. He tried to ignore his compulsion by kissing her neck and shoulders as she panted below him. Her satisfaction caused a bubble of excitement in his chest and his mind raced with the possibilities of what he could do.

Penny floated in the space between the bed and Sheldon's body. His arousal pressed into her through his pants. Without thinking, she unbuttoned his chinos, rubbing her hand under his waistband and against his erection. Sheldon groaned into her neck, enjoying her touching him when an idea came into his mind.

"I think I want to engage in coitus," he blurted out, not really believing that he had just said that.

Penny stopped her movements and pulled her head back to look into his face.

"Are you sure?"

Sheldon considered her question, realizing that he did feel sure. It wasn't a conclusion based on a logical thought process that he had spent several minutes deliberating, but regardless, he knew trying was what he wanted in this moment. It frightened him to have certainty without reason, but he pushed away that concern before he lost his nerve.

"Yes."

Penny responded by pushing his pants further down his legs, but they were stopped by Sheldon still wearing his shoes. Sighing, Penny released her hold on him.

"Take off your shoes and the rest of your clothes. Even your socks. It's silly to have sex wearing socks," she instructed.

Sheldon pulled himself away from her and began taking off his clothes. While untying his shoes, he thought about his earlier trip to the grocery store.

"I don't have a prophylactic," he stated.

"A what?" Penny scrunched her face in confusion.

"A condom," Sheldon corrected himself, removing his shoes.

 _Huh, I didn't even think of that_ , Penny thought to herself. She wanted to tell him that he didn't need one. She was on the pill, and she wasn't worried about getting anything from him. But she imagined a condom would make him feel a little more comfortable. They could have the safe sex talk later. She should probably engage in good habits early now anyways.

"I have some in my top drawer," she pointed across the room to her dresser.

Temporarily halting his clothing removal, Sheldon walked over to her dresser, opening up what appeared to be Penny's underwear drawer. He avoided staring at the chaotic assortment of brightly colored cotton and lace and zeroed his focus on a box of Trojans in the back of the drawer. He quickly noted that these were just the non-lubricated latex kind, cataloguing this information for future reference of Penny's preferences. Pulling out a single package, he returned to the bed, letting his eyes fall on Penny again. She still remained as he left her, but now she watched him over her bent knees. Blushing under her gaze, he removed his pants, pulling his underwear off quickly with them. He turned his back to her and sat at the edge of the mattress, opening the wrapper.

He studied the condom for a moment, confused as to which way it went on and wondering how it would fit around his penis. Before he could struggle too much, he felt Penny at his back as she wrapped her arms around him.

"It goes on that way," she murmured in his ear, kissing him on the lobe and sending a chill down his spine. Sheldon assumed she meant the orientation that he held it now. Stretching the rubbery material with his fingers, he attempted placing the ring around the tip of his penis. Penny noticed him struggling, especially with the way his hands were shaking, and decided to give him a hand.

Stopping his movements by placing her hands on his wrists, she took the condom from his grasp and quickly rolled it over his shaft. Sheldon gripped his hands into her comforter at the feel of her fingers dancing down to the base of his hardness. Pulling his face to her, she kissed his lips while hugging his shoulders into her chest. She released him from her hold and reclined her body back on the bed. Sheldon followed her closely but slowly, dragging his knees as he settled on top of her. She squeezed his hips with her thighs, bringing him closer to her moist heat. It occurred to Sheldon in that moment that they were both completely naked, with only a thin layer of latex between them. He suddenly didn't want the condom on and instead had the urge to grind his hardness against Penny's slit, skin to skin. He settled with kissing her gently on the lips.

Penny returned his kisses in kind, running her hands up and down his neck and chest. She let him have this moment with her and enjoyed the sweetness of him taking his time. After a few moments, she reached down between them, stroking his erection and guiding him to her center. Sheldon took a deep breath, and he pressed his pelvis forward, feeling his tip stretching her walls. Penny threw her head back into the pillow, glad that she had climaxed earlier so that her muscles were more relaxed for his entry. Unsure of the pressure at which to do this and not hurt her (because it baffled Sheldon how she had not cried out in pain yet because for him, it felt impossible that he could fit), it took several tiny thrusts to work his way inside her. Sheldon already felt spent and hyper sensitize once he was fully encased by her folds, sure if he were to thrust in and out of her that he would finish in seconds. He didn't want it to be over so soon.

Sensing his hesitancy, Penny used this as her cue to flip them. With him still tucked tightly inside of her, she straddled his hips, pinning his arms by his head as he yelped his protest. She shushed him, kissing his lips and jaw as she gently rocked her hips over him. He surrendered to her, lost in the blinding sensation of her movements.

Sitting up straight, Penny placed his hands on her hips, guiding him to move her over his erection.

"You start out slow, just like this," she quietly panted her words out in clipped phrases. Sheldon groaned as she added a bounce to every other rotation. Noticing the furrow of his brow, she picked up her pace, "and then, you get faster." She leaned forward, his stiffness rubbing her just right as she slid him in and out. She braced herself on his shoulders, bouncing on top of him, "and harder."

Sheldon gripped her hips tightly; subconsciously quickening her movements as he pushed her against him. He bucked up into her, getting lost in her tightness and the intensity of the sensations. This was better than her hand. Far better. And just like before, he couldn't hold off his orgasm as long as he wanted. It hit him like a wrecking ball deep in his abdomen, shooting through his limbs as his pulse beat wildly in his ears.

Penny rode him as he orgasmed, a chill running up her spine as she watched his face tense and relax from pleasure. As he came down, she slid off his body, cuddling up to his side as he calmed his breathing. She knew he wouldn't last long and that at least for this first time, she wasn't going to get much out of the experience. But it surprised her how satisfying it was for her to be a part of this moment with him and watching him realize the joys of sex.

Once he caught his breath, Sheldon sat up to remove the condom. After tossing it into her waste bin by her bed, he stopped short at the sight before him.

"Oh no," he groaned, throwing himself back onto the pillow, covering his face.

Penny popped up, looking down at him in concern. "What's wrong?"

"I forgot to take off my socks," he answered, gesturing down to his feet.

Penny looked to his legs, seeing his brown socks with orange and yellow stripes wrapped around his calves. She dropped her head back to his shoulder, trying to hold back a violent set of giggles. "It's okay, sweetie."

"You said it's silly to have sex in socks," he insisted.

"I know, but it's still okay. It's just a suggestion, not a rule."

He settled down as she rubbed circles into his chest. Unsure of what to do in this moment, he carefully rested his arm behind her back. After a few moments, he edged his hand up stroking her hip and pulling it into him. Penny smiled against his skin, snuggling closer to his side.

* * *

Sheldon opened his eyes almost jolting up and screaming, "Danger! Danger!" as he took in his surroundings. Orientating himself, he realized he fell asleep in Penny's bed with Penny using him as her own personal body pillow. They were both still naked, and he had his arms wrapped tightly around her.

He couldn't remember the last time he slept in a bed that wasn't his own, especially not with another person. Even though his muscles were a little stiff and his body temperature rose a few degrees, he could tell he had been in a deep, restful sleep. Penny slept peacefully against his chest while lightly snoring. He watched her for a few moments, curious about how he came to be in this arrangement with her. He remembered lying next to her and even holding her against him after they had intercourse. After that, he drew a blank.

He rolled his head over to his side, looking at her alarm clock. 4:15 am. He needed to get back to his apartment soon before Leonard came home. Sitting up slowly, he gently placed Penny on her pillow. She didn't wake up, instead curling more into her fetal position.

He quickly pulled his clothes and shoes on. He regarded Penny again and noticed her shivering as she lay naked above the covers. With a pull in his chest, he took a few steps next to her side of the bed, shaking her gently awake.

"Penny," he called to her. "You need to get under your covers or at least put on some clothing."

Penny groaned and mumbled, scrunching her nose as she rubbed her face into her pillow. Sheldon frowned.

He tried pulling the covers out from under her. As he tugged, Penny finally woke up, rolling her head to look at him.

"Where are you going?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"It's after 4 am and Leonard will be home within the next hour or two. I must leave and return to my own bed."

Sheldon took the opportunity to tug the blankets beneath her and settled them around her.

"You're sweet," she cooed at him, reaching up to touch his face as he tucked the covers around her.

Sheldon didn't appreciate being called sweet, but he did enjoy the sleepy smile Penny gave him.

"You were cold. It would be ungentlemanly for me to leave you as you were."

"Mmmmm," she hummed, snuggling into her pillow and pulling the blankets over her shoulders.

Sheldon shoved his hands in his pocket, unsure of what to do. He felt that there was some gesture needed in their departure now that they had shared this experience with each other, but he couldn't figure out what it would be.

Giving up, he walked across her room, clicking off her lap as he passed it. When he reached her doorway, he was stopped by her voice.

"Goodnight Sheldon."

"Goodnight Penny."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

When Sheldon returned to his apartment, his mind hummed in a disconnected state of rest with his energized body. He felt as if a layer had been peeled away, and he now walked around as a new version of himself, a little rawer and more exposed than before. Feeling vulnerable, he immediately retired to his bedroom, slipping on his Friday pajamas. While they would not be put to use for a full night's sleep, he couldn't fathom going to bed in his clothes. For all intents and purposes, the early hour still called for his Friday pajamas so he would wear his Friday pajamas.

As he lay under the covers, his mind wandered to Penny. He recalled Penny's inviting eyes as she beckoned him to her bed, Penny's open mouth as she panted beneath him, Penny's bouncing breasts as she moved her hips and Penny's soft smile when she reached up and touched his face.

He reached his overall goal in this venture: engage in coitus with Penny. As for his next step, he would wait and collect data of his future reactions to her to see if his hypothesis would be supported or refuted. He would need to record their evening activities in his log tomorrow – as well as the hollowness that settled into his chest at the thought of his experiment coming to a close.

* * *

Despite his interrupted sleep, Sheldon woke up at exactly 6:15. He made himself a bowl of cereal (from the low fiber end) and sat in his spot to watch Dr. Who. Towards the end of the episode, Leonard arrived exhausted and desperate for bed.

"Good morning, Leonard," Sheldon called to his roommate as Leonard set his things down. "I'm judging by your sagged shoulders and unkempt appearance that you had a rough night."

"Yeah," Leonard replied with a sigh. "Less than a week to go of this."

Sheldon nodded his head, switching the television off as the episode came to an end. "So I can assume that once you return it will be business as usual as far as you giving me a ride to work and our dinner schedule."

Leonard plopped down on the couch, rubbing his temples, "Yes, to be honest, I actually miss the schedule. And getting to eat with you guys and our video game nights."

Sheldon took his bowl to the sink to wash it, "Well, I must be honest with you. I'm not entirely sure how up for those things Wolowitz and Koothrapooli will be. They have been avoiding me since you started working nights."

Leonard squinted his eyes in concern, "What have you been doing then?"

Just then, Penny walked through the door, not bothering to knock. She wore her pink robe with Hello Kitty shorts and a white tank top.

"Hey guys, I sort of ran out of coffee," she shook her large coffee mug in front of her.

"You can have some of ours," Leonard quickly told her, sitting up on the couch to not appear so sleepy.

Sheldon eyed Penny warily as she waltzed over to the kitchen. She held his eye contact, grinning at him as she passed. "Good morning, Sheldon."

"Penny," Sheldon nodded his head at her, returning his attention to washing his bowl. He felt a pull to her as she moved about the kitchen as if she were a very large magnet and all of his hydrogen atoms were lining up their spins to point in her direction. His face began to flush, and he wondered if Leonard could see a change in his interactions with their neighbor.

When he returned his gaze to his roommate, Leonard's eyes followed Penny around with that same moony expression he had the first day they met. Sheldon felt something akin to anger and a stomach illness in that moment. Putting his bowl back into the cupboard, he turned his body towards his friends.

"It's 7:05, my allotted shower-time per the Roommate Agreement. Have a good day's sleep, Leonard. Penny," he nodded to them both and strolled out of the room and down the hallway.

Penny watched him leave, noticing he seemed more strained and robotic than usual. She wondered how awkward Sheldon felt keeping this secret from Leonard, but her thoughts were momentarily interrupted by Leonard approaching the bar.

"I haven't seen you in a while," he smiled at her. She could see his exhaustion as he tried carefully to keep his composure.

"Nope," she popped her lips on the 'p'. "I've heard you've been busy working the graveyard shift."

"Yeah, working with lasers at night is a lot harder than it sounds," Leonard puffed up his chest.

Penny smiled at him, "Well, you should get to sleep soon. You can barely stand."

Leonard frowned, wanting to spend a little more time with her, "I suppose you're right. I am beat."

Penny poured her coffee grounds into the coffee maker, "I'm just going to finish making this and head back over to my place. But once you get back on a normal schedule, we'll hang out sometime."

Leonard smiled brightly at her, feeling hopeful about his chances for the first time since their failed date. He had been wishing in his absence that she wouldn't forget about him and start dating someone else.

"Goodnight," he waved to her. "Well, good morning, I guess is the more appropriate salutation at this time of day."

Penny winked at him, nodding her head.

As soon as Leonard closed his bedroom door, Penny listened closely to the silence in the apartment. The dripping of the coffee maker and Sheldon's shower were the only things she could hear. An excitement bloomed deep inside her. She woke up this morning at an ungodly hour without an alarm, but regardless, she felt alive and rejuvenated. She really didn't need the coffee but used it as an excuse to come over to his apartment and see if he was up. She remembered his sweet exit from her room a few hours before, tucking her into her bed. Feeling bold and counting on Leonard's tiredness to keep him in his room, Penny crept her way over to the bathroom. Fortunately for her, the door was unlocked.

She tip toed into the bathroom, closing the door silently behind her. As she took off her clothes, she tried to think of the best way to go about this plan without Sheldon squawking like a chicken and waking Leonard up. She determined that sneaking up on him would not be the best route, so instead she decided to face him head on.

Snapping the shower curtain back, Penny focused her eyes on Sheldon who instantly jumped backwards, looking like he had seen a ghost. She used the room he unintentionally provided for her to climb into the shower, the warm spray bouncing off her shoulders as she stepped inside.

"Penny!" Sheldon hissed, frightened but still aware that he should be quiet. "What are you doing?"

"Taking a shower, silly," she coyly responded, situating herself under the spray to wet her hair.

Sheldon couldn't fathom how this moment happened or what he could even do to remove her.

"But… this is my allotted shower time. You can't be in here."

Penny turned around to face him, running her fingers through her hair. Sheldon's eyes momentarily trailed the path of water that ran down the sides of her face and through the valley between her breasts. She grinned at him, knowing very well he wouldn't kick her out. She took her time to look at him as well. He had scrunched himself into the furthest corner of the tub, holding his arms awkwardly in front of him like her intrusion sullied his propriety. She liked the way his short hair seemed darker and longer as it hung wet on the top of his head.

"Well, I need to shower too, and I figured I would join you," she stretched her arms, pushing her chest out as she ran her fingers through her hair again.

Sheldon closed his eyes, shaking his head, "Have you no decency! Just because you can come over and use our coffee maker does not mean you're entitled to all things in our apartment!"

Penny shrugged her shoulders, turning her back to him, "Well, I'm staying. You can quit throwing a fit and join me or you can leave. It's up to you."

Sheldon bugged his eyes out, feeling trapped and helpless in this situation. He couldn't just leave. He always took a shower at 7:05 am, and here she was, stealing it from him. How did she expect him to share a shower with her? From his understanding, one always bathed solo with the exception of communal showers in gym class and when you're a toddler and forced to take baths with your twin sister.

He took a moment to examine her. Her blonde hair had darkened from its wetness, trailing down her neck and stopping just between her shoulder blades in a point. As she soaked herself under the spray, the paths the water took down her body made Sheldon flush with excited embarrassment. He studied the small curve of her lower back where her hips flared out widely. The tight muscles of her thighs held up her pert cheeks as the water trickled off their roundness. Sheldon remembered the way his hands held her hips last night as she gyrated over him until he released himself inside her. It seemed that despite their engagement in coitus, Sheldon wanted Penny more than ever.

Penny grew wary as he remained frozen in the corner of the shower. He hadn't left but he hadn't approached her either. She started to worry that maybe her attempt at seduction was a bust and she had officially broken him.

But then she heard his small voice call from behind her, "Penny… I'm cold."

She peeked over her shoulder at his shivering frame. He reminded her of a sad, wet noodle. Reaching out, she grabbed him by the arm, pulling him towards her body under the spray. "Come here, you big goof."

Sheldon relaxed under the warm water as Penny wrapped her arms around his midsection, holding him in place. After a few moments, he placed his hands lightly on her hips. She responded by peppering light kisses on his lips, the water from the shower spray causing their mouths to slide against each other in a slippery dance.

"I don't understand this," he said once she had pulled away and cuddled into his chest. She could feel his jaw moving as he rested his chin on the crown of her head.

"What's not to understand?" she asked. "We've seen each other naked."

"Yes," he replied, trying to find the appropriate words for the situation but falling short. "This just feels… different somehow."

Penny sighed into his chest. She understood. While sexy shower times were definitely something fuck buddies did, couples also did these together too. Penny wouldn't exactly call herself an expert on friends with benefits either. She had never actually been involved with someone that way, at least not so formally established as this. She always had either a long-term boyfriend or a guy who she messed around with for a while in the hopes of developing a relationship. If she were honest with herself, she was just as naïve to this whole situation as Sheldon even though she put on a mock-sense of authority as if she totally knew what to do. So what exactly was she doing? Why did she seek Sheldon out the night after taking his virginity, purposely putting herself in a situation where she cuddled him in his shower? Afraid of the answer, Penny pulled back from him and picked up a bottle of body wash sitting in the shower rack.

"You should wash me," she flirtatiously offered, placing the bottle in his hands.

Sheldon stared dumbfounded at the bottle as she turned her back to him once more. He had washed and cleaned many things in his life but never another person. He considered the blue gel inside the bottle and the way his fingers twitched to touch her again as he had the night before. Flipping the top, he turned the bottle over and poured the gel into his palm.

The snap of the lid opening gave Penny chills as she anticipated his touch. The seconds that passed seemed agonizingly long. When his hands brushed over her shoulders, her body relaxed under his long fingers. Sheldon spread the lathered soap across her back, remembering the way she had massaged him not too long ago. He tried mimicking her movements, focusing the pressure on her shoulders, the center of her back, and the sides of her hips. Once her back was soapy, and not having the courage just yet to touch her rear, he trailed his hands up to the top of her arms. He took each limb one at a time, focusing on every crease and even between her fingers. Penny giggled at his thoroughness, leaning her back into his chest. He collected more soap in his hands as he worked towards her front. He rubbed the flat expanse of her chest and followed his hands down her sides to lather the soap onto her stomach. She leaned her head back onto his shoulder then, sighing happily. Feeling courageous, he cupped the underside of her breasts, soaping them in circular motions. Penny bit her lip, hoping he'd stay a while, but he only teased her and ran his hands down again, his hands continuing their circular movements across her hips. He wanted to touch her again. He thought of the softness of her skin between her legs, remembering her moist folds and quivering muscles as she orgasmed around his hand. He started with rubbing her thighs, his long fingers reaching mid-thigh. He felt her spread her legs slightly for him and he moved medially, his fingers brushing lightly against her vulva. He edged his rotations closer to her until he ran a single swipe down her slit, pulling his hand away as she gasped.

Penny couldn't be sure if Sheldon intentionally meant to tease her or just motivated to clinically and thoroughly wash her body. Now, he kneeled and rubbed her legs down, picking up her feet and squeezing her sore heals. She had never had someone pay such close attention to her body. Men have always made comments, like how she had a nice ass or "tits". But their focus on what she could provide for them sexually is where their appreciation ended. Sheldon took his time. He stroked her with tenderness and intensity like she was one of the equations he studied. As he pulled his body back up, she could feel his hardness press into her backside. Turning around, she peered down at him.

"That turned you on, didn't it?" She asked, smirking up at him, "Washing me."

Sheldon's cheeks warmed, feeling slightly ashamed at the truth of her statement.

Penny pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, contemplating her next move. She determined if she ever had an opportunity to do this, now would be the time.

It confused him when Penny sunk to her knees, but then she grabbed his erection in her hands and he closed his eyes at the sensation. He opened them again to watch her stroke him under the water stream, and his breath caught in his throat as she wrapped her lips around his head and took him into her mouth. He braced himself against the wall with his hand, hesitant of how to proceed. He felt anxiety about her doing this, unsure of how it made him feel. On one level, the idea of being this deep in her mouth disturbed him as he thought of the bacteria, but on another level, the warmness reminded him of being inside of her and her swirling tongue rubbed the bottom of his shaft in a glorious way. She began bobbing her head over him, taking him further into her mouth. He watched his penis disappear behind her pink lips. He hadn't thought to look when they were having sex the night before, and the sight of her long eyelashes resting against her hollow cheeks as she took him left him transfixed.

Penny decided on the slow and sensual route, taking him inch by inch into her mouth as she stroked him at his base. The slap of his hand against the tiled wall of the shower told her all she needed to know that this was a _very_  good idea. When her lips wrapped around his base and his head reached the back of her throat, she heard a new, low grunt from him followed by his fingers gently touching the top of her head. She reached up, grabbing his hand and forcefully pressing it on the back of her head, indicating to him that she wanted him to touch her here.

Sheldon couldn't keep up with all the sensations in that moment. The warmness of the water beating against his shoulders contrasted with the coolness of the wall he braced himself against. His knees felt like they would buckle any minute, and he found himself too weak to stand. But his arm felt strong. Too strong. He wanted to guide Penny's head but it worried him the strange power he felt in that moment. Instead, he settled with wrapping his fingers in her wet locks, pulling them ever so slightly as she picked up her pace. He tried to understand the biomechanics of the way Penny used her mouth on him. Her sucking along with the swirling of her tongue and the ever so slight grazing of her teeth on his shaft caused him to pulse sporadically and rapidly, heading towards an intense orgasm. He could also feel her throat relaxing around him anytime she took him all the way into her mouth. Her coordination confused him, but regardless, he enjoyed what she was doing immensely and didn't want her to stop.

Penny sensed his climax by the way his dick twitched inside of her mouth and the new tightness of his fingers in her hair. She sucked harder on his tip with each revolution up, knowing this would send him over the edge.

"Penny!" he gasped. "I'm going to… you have to…"

Though she appreciated his concern, she committed herself to doing this thoroughly.

He exploded then, right down her throat as the water rained down on them from the shower head. He moved his hand from her hair to the front wall of the shower, needing to hold himself up because his knees finally gave out. His vision whited as he spasmed in her mouth. She sucked gently on him, pumping her hand around him until she could feel him finish. Pulling off of him with a pop, she stood up, her knees sore from holding her weight on the hard surface. She wrapped her arms around his middle, giving him more leverage to stay standing. He held her to him with a ferocity she did not expect. Burying his face in his hair, he caught his breath as they slowly swayed together. Penny rubbed his back, delighting in the fullness of Sheldon's hug.

Bright yellow spots on the floor of the tub caught her gaze. Focusing her eyes, she giggled as she identified the objects.

"I never noticed those before," she said.

Sheldon pulled his head away to investigate what amused her. He followed her attention directed towards the ground.

"Those are adhesive stickers to allow for purchase on a surface with a low coefficient of static friction."

"What?"

"Tubs are slippery," Sheldon deadpanned.

"Are they holding umbrellas?" She asked.

"Yes, they're whimsical because ducks have neither the need, nor the ability to use umbrellas."

Penny giggled once more, resting her head against his chest again.

However, they were interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door opening.

"Sorry, Sheldon," Leonard called. "I know you're scheduled bathroom time isn't over for another two minutes but this coffee is going right through me."

The two held their breaths as Leonard used the toilet. Penny tried her hardest to ignore the awkwardness of this situation and settled for pressing her face into Sheldon's chest and focusing on the sound of his heart beating. His grip had tightened around her, pulling her in even closer. Sheldon calculated the probability that Leonard's tired state would weaken his usual observant nature. He couldn't be sure, but knowing Penny, she probably carelessly tossed her clothes on the bathroom floor.

Fortunately for them, Leonard finished quickly and left the bathroom wanting to get back to sleep, not noticing Penny's pink robe just inches behind his feet on the bath mat.

As the door closed, Penny sighed with relief and giggled in Sheldon's embrace. Sheldon relaxed his hold on her, feeling anything but amused at this moment.

"You really need to be more careful, Penny," he scolded her.

Penny popped her head up, looking up at his face. "What?"

"Leonard almost caught us!"

Penny rolled her eyes, "Yes, but he didn't."

"But he almost…"

Penny cut him off by placing a finger to his lips, "But he didn't."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. When she took away her hand, he started up again.

"I only think it would be more prudent if you took a moment to think before you decide to hijack my shower when my roommate is home."

Penny rinsed herself underneath the water, shaking her head. "You weren't complaining a minute ago, buddy."

Flustered, Sheldon crossed his arms. He tried to think of a comeback but nothing came to mind.

"That's what I thought," Penny smiled brightly, slapping him on his butt as she exited the shower.

Sheldon yelped and covered his rear, ready to scold her again.

"Shhh, Sheldon! You really should think before you speak when you have a naked girl in your shower while your roommate is just in the other room sleeping!" Penny teased.

Sheldon huffed, snapping open the body wash to finish his shower.

* * *

The rest of the day, Sheldon spent his time trying to ignore the urge to leave the apartment and see Penny across the hall. He read some recent papers on high-energy physics, but found his focus drifting from the text and instead wondering if he could find a means of calculating the force of attraction between his self and Penny's apartment. He reorganized all of his comic books in a new system he devised to be more convenient for retrieval, but it only reminded him of how desperately Penny's apartment needed to be organized. Momentarily Missy distracted him by calling to inform him of the date and time at which her plane would arrive, and he spent a portion of the afternoon writing a temporary roommate agreement for his sister with female specific additives about bathroom usage, but that only brought up questions for him that he concluded Penny would have an answer to.

He didn't know how to categorize this new frenzy he felt inside of him. If anything, his hypothesis was not only refuted but his reactions to Penny went in the opposite direction of what he expected. He thought coitus with Penny would solve his problems of lack of focus and nagging sexual urges, but it seemed that it only heightened his issue. The more he engaged in physical activity with Penny, his desires were only exacerbated. But what could the solution be now? Terminate their relationship and cease to have contact with her? Continue with this arrangement in hopes he reaches some kind of equilibrium? Today's encounter in the shower (and the images burned into his memories still hardened him when his brain randomly wanted to retrieve them) proved that he had little in the ways of telling Penny no. She had barely tried to seduce him, and he caved despite the fact that he felt personally accosted that she had stolen his shower from him. Also, the thought of ending things with Penny brought back that hollow, sick feeling in his chest that he had felt earlier that day. He wasn't sure entirely what this correlation meant, but it was enough for now to stave him off that road.

Leonard rolled out of bed in the early evening, blearily hobbling around the apartment. Sheldon hadn't spent much time with Leonard since he started working nights, but it appeared at least this Saturday, Leonard opted to stay home and take a break. Warming up a cup of noodles in his robe, Leonard leaned against the counter as Sheldon painted a model train that had been sitting unopened in his closet for a few months.

"So how have you been, Sheldon?" Leonard asked, rubbing his eyes beneath his frames.

Sheldon held his thin paint brush in midair, eyeing his roommate suspiciously, "Fine, I suppose."

Leonard stirred his boiling pot, "So, you've been hanging around the apartment these past few weeks, right?"

Sheldon shifted uncomfortably from his position on the floor in front of the couch. Trying to hide his face behind the model, he answered Leonard, "Where else would I be?"

Leonard shrugged his shoulders, "I've just been wondering if you've seen a lot of Penny."

Sheldon's throat closed up. Leonard must know somehow. He must have seen Penny's clothes on the floor.

"Why would you ask that?" He heard his voice crack, his accent slipping through as it usually did when nervous.

"I guess I'm just wondering if you've seen any guys around her apartment," Leonard clarified.

A wave of relief washed over him. Of course, Leonard only intended to inquire about Penny's relationship status, as usual.

"No, I have not  _seen_  any other males around Penny's apartment," he emphasized the word seen, allowing himself to be an exception to this statement.

"Have you been spending much time with her?" Leonard reached up into their cabinet to retrieve a bowl. Sheldon tried to control the twitching in his eye.

"I suppose you could say that Penny and I have been spending fairly significant portions of our time together."

Sheldon caught a smile on Leonard's face as he turned around.

"I'm really proud of you, Sheldon," Leonard poured his noodles into his bowl. "It worried me for a while that you would isolate Penny from our group."

Sheldon returned his focus to the model, avoiding Leonard's glances, "I suppose there are some favorable qualities to Penny."

"Yeah," Leonard smiled widely. "There really is."

Sheldon's stomach churned. Leonard's expression unnerved him. He didn't like that Leonard still so obviously held onto his crush. He felt a strong urge to swat at Leonard, claiming Penny as his friend and his friend only. He also wanted to run and hide away from this moment which was a stranger emotion that he couldn't quite place.

"I'm thinking about asking her out again," Leonard continued. A sour taste climbed up Sheldon's throat. "I'm always so passive when it comes to pursuing women. This time I want it to be different, and I think Penny's worth it."

 _Yes, but you don't deserve her,_  Sheldon bitterly thought. The biting voice inside his head surprised him. While he didn't have completely favorable opinions of Leonard all the time, he never felt such vitriol towards his roommate and best friend then in this moment. Even at his most annoyed, Sheldon hadn't felt anger to this magnitude in a long time. Anger was an irrational response to petty human attributes like pride, jealousy, and hate. But here he sat, trying to maintain his composure to not verbally tear Leonard down.

Swallowing his venomous thoughts, he relaxed his face into a cool mask of apathy, "I think you're confusing me with someone who actually cares."

Leonard rolled his eyes, "My apologies, Sheldon. I forget sometimes that you don't relate to things like a basic need of human companionship like the rest of us."

While a perfectly accurate statement just a few months ago and Sheldon understood that Leonard meant it in a light-hearted, teasing way, the burn building in his chest smoked at his words.

"If Howard and Raj text, don't tell them I'm home tonight. I'm going to relax in my room for the rest of the evening," Leonard carried his bowl of noodles close to his chest and dragged his slippers across the hard wood floor as he walked towards his bedroom.

Sheldon heaved out a sigh, releasing the tight coil deep inside his gut. He looked down at the paint brush in his hands, noticing he had broken it at some point while he and Leonard were talking. Setting the two pieces down on the table, he pushed his body off the ground and sat in his spot. If anything would ground him from these unexpected emotions, it would be his 0,0,0,0. He didn't like this. Sheldon Cooper always maintained a fine sense of control over all aspects of his life. Normal anxieties that others bothered with didn't concern him. He prided himself in his rationality and logical process at which he approached all problems. But his Penny conundrum stirred more than just sexual desire inside of him, he realized. He couldn't place exact words to the feelings spiraling in his mind that manifested an activation of his hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis. The only emotion he could explain was an intense anger over the idea of Leonard continuing his pursuit of Penny and a need to protect her from such advances. A sharp pain also stung in his chest that worried him, but he couldn't construct an answer as to what else bothered him about this situation.

* * *

Sheldon folded his last load of laundry. After calming down, he came to the conclusion that he needed to have a discussion with Penny about his feelings as of late, including revealing to her his whirlwind emotional state that he needed to keep under wraps. He considered the possibility that this was a normal side effect to engaging in coitus. He had suspected and it was the primary motive he avoided it all these years. If that were the case, he prepared a reboot proposal, in which they restore their friendship to the last place that it made sense for the both of them. He also considered the fact that not only with Leonard finishing his nightly project but also his sister coming to town, their availability to engage in this arrangement would become complicated quickly.

After noticing Leonard passed out in his room before he made this final trip to the laundry room, he decided he would visit Penny's apartment to inform her of his plans. However, towards the end of his folding, the object of his concerns skipped into the room, balancing her own laundry basket on her hip.

"Hi," she smiled at him, her cheeks shining under the florescent lights of the room and her blonde hair in two curly pigtails.

"Hello," Sheldon nodded at her, nervousness preventing him from beginning his speech. He went about finishing folding his clothes. He listened carefully as Penny tossed her clothes carelessly into a washer. As his finished his last pair of socks, the water of her washer turned on and she snaked her hands up his chest, pressing her face into his back. Sheldon noted the way Penny now unabashedly touched him since their intercourse trial. Before, she handled him with a bit of distance and hesitancy that he assumed purposeful for his own comfort. But he didn't necessarily feel uncomfortable with the way she hung her body on his now.

"You feel so tense, sweetie," she said, her small voice washing small vibrations over his spine.

"There have been some things…" Sheldon tried to find a way to phrase his sentence, "…Troubling me."

He placed his final clothes in his hamper and turned to face her. She stared up at him, patiently waiting for him to continue. He looked deep into her eyes. He realized that while he had looked an awful lot at Penny, he hadn't ever dared stare at her in this way. He noticed her green irises, soft in opalescence with a touch of gold around the rims. Her dark pupils still remained wide and circular even under the bright lights of the basement. A line creased across her forehead that he had learned to associate with her look of concern. It occurred to him in that moment just how seriously she considered him when he said things like this.

Instead of beginning his planned spiel of the worried conclusions he had gathered in this study, Sheldon leaned down and kissed her softly on her lips. Penny sighed happily in a soft purr, running her hands comfortingly down the sides of his face. With each kiss, he let go of his previous thoughts, slowly losing his resolve and contempt. When she suggested he come to her apartment after putting his clothes away, he simply nodded his head, feelings of never wanting to visit her in that way completely erasing from his working memory.

He checked on Leonard one last time before heading over to Penny's. His roommate at some point had woken up only to shut off his lights and bury himself under his covers in a deep sleep. The sharp pain from before hit him again, but he continued on, suspecting that an evening with Penny would be the perfect analgesic.

The sigh that escaped her mouth as he entered her sealed away his worries in a vault deep inside his mind. Driving into her wetness, he kissed her this time, the focus on her mouth staving off an instinctual need to pound into her until his orgasm clouded his senses. He held off until he could feel her shiver beneath him, the tight clenching of her muscles pushing him over the edge. He didn't spend the night, but he didn't leave right away either. For a while, they laid in silence, their fingertips dancing across each other as their breaths intermingled between them. After a few heated embraces that almost turned into another session of intercourse, they fell into an easy conversation that escalated once Sheldon suggested drawing an organizational schematic for her apartment. She kissed him goodnight in her doorway, watching him until he disappeared into 4A.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-imagining of "The Pancake Anamoly".

Chapter 13

"Check mate."

"No!" Leonard groaned, staring in disbelief at the three-dimensional chess board. "How do you keep beating me?"

"It must be humbling to suck on so many different levels," Sheldon gestured to the three tiers.

Leonard covered his face in shame as Sheldon collected pieces to put the game back in its case. Just then, Penny violently pushed the door open, stomping across the threshold. She wore her Cheesecake Factory uniform and her hair rested on the top of her head in a messy bun.

"Look," she held out her hands in front of her. "I don't want to sound like a mooch, but do you guys have  _any_  food at all? I'm home for like 15 minutes and have to go right back to work. I need something to eat!"

"Sure Penny! I can make you a sandwich," Leonard offered, hopping up from his seat and heading straight for the kitchen.

"Don't you have any food at your own residence?" Sheldon pointedly asked, keeping his eyes focused on putting the chess set away.

Penny folded her arms across her body in defensiveness, "Other than a jar of old pickles, some moldy Thai, and a bottle of ketchup… no."

Sheldon frowned at her. Penny quickly recovered, "I'm going grocery shopping soon! I just have been super busy at work."

Sheldon made a mental note to force Penny to accompany him on his trip to the grocery store in a few days where he planned to buy extra supplies for Missy's stay. He also considered purchasing a few items specifically for Penny since he concluded if she were going to be eating his food anyways, he might as well spend the resources on stocking her pantry.

"Why are you working so much anyways, Penny?" Leonard asked as he assembled her sandwich.

"Oh, everyone at work is calling out sick."

Sheldon's jumped from his spot, backing away from Penny as he kept a close eye on her.

"Sick?"

"Oh, here we go…" Leonard mumbled to himself.

"What kind of sick?" Sheldon frantically asked.

Penny widened her eyes, "Um… I don't know. The flu, I guess?"

"You guess? I don't need you to guess! I need you to know," he rattled around in a kitchen drawer for his notebook. "Now when did the symptoms first appear?"

"Um, I don't know… Wednesday?"

"Morning or afternoon?"

"I… I don't…"

"Think, woman! Who blew their nose and when?" Sheldon stabbed his pen to the notebook.

Penny cocked her jaw and narrowed her eyes.  _He better watch himself._

"Sheldon," Leonard cautioned. "Relax."

"Relax? Relax!" Sheldon fluttered his arms, "How can I relax when she could be infecting us at this very minute?"

"Hey!" Penny stomped her foot. "Don't talk about me like that!"

Sheldon looked back at her, surprised by her outburst, "Did I say something that offended you?"

Penny sucked in a breath, prepared to scold him, but Leonard cut her off.

"She's not even exhibiting any symptoms, Sheldon. I'm sure she's not contagious."

"Oh please!" Sheldon scoffed. "If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear, it would have died out thousands of years ago. Somewhere between tool use and cave painting, homo habilus would have figured out to kill the guy with the runny nose."

"Sheldon," Penny's tone dropped in warning. "You're getting awfully close to me going all Junior Rodeo on you."

Even though that threat still confused him, Sheldon wilted under her glare.

"Just tell me specifically when the symptoms started," Sheldon reassembled his posture, preparing to take notes.

Penny tried pulling up a memory, though she could feel a headache coming on from her exhaustion. Giving it a second, a particular incident came to mind.

"Well, on Tuesday, Cindy sneezed all over a plate of nachos," she mentioned with possible ulterior motives.

Sheldon dropped his pen and the sound of it rolling across the floor marked the tense silence.

"You mean…" his bottom lip trembled. "I could have  _already_  been exposed?"

* * *

Sheldon monitored his symptoms for the rest of the evening and into the night. He collected fluids, plated bacteria cultures, and checked his temperature every half hour. He could literally feel the lymph nodes in his neck swelling. He tracked all of the stolen kisses that he and Penny had shared since Tuesday, cursing his libido. It would be unscientific to blame her as his first exposure to the pathogen, however. For all he knew this  _Cindy_ could have come in contact with any number of things in that restaurant that spread to him.

He hadn't always been so terrified of germs and getting sick. As a child, he and Missy got into a number of adventures which would make him cringe today. If he thought back to when his compulsive hand-washing and avoiding touching people even more than his natural inclination began, he could trace it to the winter that he went away for college. At the age of eleven, he had never been away from his family before, and certainly had not been sick without his mother's care. He caught a nasty cold right around finals. He wanted to come home immediately, but his mother insisted that he be a "big boy" for just a few more days until she came to get him. While he did live with a host family and they tried their best to care for him, it just wasn't the same without his mother around. While his mother hadn't been available for quite some time in his adult life for his illnesses, he managed to make sure that someone was always around to care for him. Recently, that someone became Leonard.

He woke up in the morning highly congested. He took his temperature with his ear thermometer and saw that sometime while he slept, he broke into a fever. Calling out for his roommate, he wallowed in self-pity, wondering why this had to be happening to him. When Leonard didn't come to his aid immediately, he took a chance to venture out into the living room to find him. Wrapping the blanket around his body, he dragged his socked feet across the hard wood floor.

As soon as Leonard heard Sheldon's cries, he bolted from his room, pulling his pants on and carrying his shoes. No way would he fall into Sheldon's trap again. While Sheldon didn't get sick much, he was a nightmare when he did. On his way down the stairs, his cell phone rang in his pocket. He read the apartment number on the caller ID and sighed to himself.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Leonard!" Sheldon coughed into the mouth piece. "Where are you?"

"Um… I'm at work."

"Work? It's Saturday."

"Yeah, well, I got called in because… because…" Leonard wracked his brain. "Radioactivity was detected in the lab. Gotta go! Bye!"

Hanging up the phone, Leonard sat down at the bottom of the stairs, wondering where the hell he could possibly go.

Upstairs, Sheldon toppled over onto the couch, cuddling himself into his spot. A childhood fear crawled up his spine and he racked his brain, trying to determine what to do now. He was a physicist with a vast understanding of the universe and everything it encompassed. He had a thorough understanding of biology and the immune system. He could do this on his own. He could arguably care for himself even better than another person without a medical degree.

Sniffling, he reached for a box of tissues, blowing his nose vigorously. Inspecting his mucus, he concluded it classified as milky green and groaned.

* * *

Penny's feet ached. Why did she ever agree to work a double yesterday and the morning shift today? She needed a vacation. Or her big break. Or an asteroid to hit the Cheesecake Factory so that she had an excuse to actually find another job.

She went through the motions of waiting on customers, but her mind was not in it today. She kept thinking about the bubbly excitement she experienced sneaking around with Sheldon. Leonard returned to working normal hours at the University a few days ago. He also started up his tactic of stealing her mail to strike up conversations, but Sheldon had taken it upon himself to hand-carry it to her instead.

" _Apparently your mail has been misdelivered," he handed her the envelopes, a sly grin stretching across his face._

_Tossing them behind her head, she threw her arms around him, pulling him down for a kiss._

" _Penny!" he cried out, snapping away from her. "You can't just –"_

_Penny pulled his head down to her again, dragging him across the apartment. She sat down on the arm of the couch, spreading her legs so that his hips rested between them. He lost himself in the kiss for a few moments, their tongues tangling together as he hunched his body over her. Inevitably, she lost him to the anxiety._

" _I can't handle this," he muttered as he pulled away and began collecting the envelopes in his hands. Penny pursed her lips, waiting for him._ Whack-a-doodle _._

_After placing the envelopes in a neat stack on her table, he returned, his eyes falling on her expectantly._

" _Now, where were we?"_

"Miss! Oh Miss!"

Pulled out of the memory by a young, snooty woman at Table 4 waving her over, Penny forced a perky smile on her face as she approached the table.

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Yes, this is not what I ordered."

"I'm sorry. You didn't order the pancake platter?" Penny knew she had.

"Of course but I asked for my eggs runny. Does this look runny to you?" She pointed a French-manicured nail at her plate.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I can bring you another if you'd like," she politely offered.

The woman snorted, "Yeah, that'd be nice."

Penny tried her best to erase any predatory signals in the smile she flashed. She turned on her heel, heading back to the kitchen to put in another order and silently hoping that one of those eggs had salmonella.

At eleven, the breakfast menus had been switched out for the lunch menus, and Penny began serving salads and sandwiches. The peanuts in a Mandarin salad reminded her of Thai night.

_The harsh slap of her thighs smacking into his as she bounced on top of him echoed through the room. His hands dug into her hips, working her over his shaft faster as he buried his face into her shoulder. She was naked from the waist down, still wearing a form fitting yellow t-shirt. He hadn't removed his clothing; instead, he had his pants and underwear wrapped around his ankles as he sat below her on the turquoise couch. He came over as soon as Leonard left to get the Thai food. She knew they didn't have much time, but she wanted to make these minutes worth it._

_His hands moved to squeeze her round cheeks as she tilted her body so that her clit smacked against his abdomen with every descent. His girth stretched her just right and his length hit deep inside every time she slammed back down onto him. Finding a rhythm, he soon took control over her movements, rotating his hips with hers. The pressure built quickly inside her, and she cried out into the cushion behind his ear as she came._

_He responded like no other man when she had an orgasm. It was as if the feel of her walls gripping him tightly and the cries of her pleasure tipped him over the edge every time. He moved her faster and more erratically in that moment, speeding up his climax until a chant fell from his lips._

" _Penny."_

" _Penny."_

" _Penny."_

"PENNY!"

She popped her eyes open and stared back at one of the hostesses on shift.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Penny recollected herself. "Just tired, I guess."

The woman nodded, her mouth frowning, "Well, that crazy guy you know is back again."

Penny jolted in her spot, searching across the restaurant. Today was Saturday. Sheldon would never come in on a Saturday. She almost didn't recognize him, but there he sat in his usual spot, donning a red-winter hat and wrapped in several layers as he blew his nose into a tissue.

Oh god.

Charging forward, she quickly made her way to the table.

"Sheldon," she called to him warily. "What are you doing here? It's Saturday."

"I realize," he sounded stuffy and whiny. "I'm sick and in need of soup."

"Why couldn't you just eat soup at home?"

"Penny," even in his pitiful state, he still managed to sound condescending. "I have an IQ of 187. Don't you imagine if there was a way for me to have soup at home, I would have thought of it?"

"You can have soup delivered," she suggested.

Sheldon considered this, realizing she was correct.

"I didn't think of that," he turned his eyes down. "Clearly my fever is causing neurons key to my cognitive processing to die at an alarming rate. Please bring me some soup while I still understand what a spoon is."

Penny situated her notepad in front of her, "Okay, what kind of soup do you want? We have tomato basil and chicken tortilla."

"My mom used to make me a split pea with little frankfurters slices and homemade croutons."

Penny narrowed her eyebrows, "Okay… well we don't have that."

Sheldon's shoulders sagged, "Frankfurters?"

She shook her head.

"Then surprise me," he huffed.

As she turned her back to him, a torrential nose blowing (that she could only assume came from him) reverberated off the walls of the restaurant.

* * *

Leonard, Raj, and Howard took shelter at a Planet of the Apes marathon at one of the Pasadena independent theaters. Standing in the concession line wearing their chimp masks, they conversed about their game plan.

"Okay, once these movies are over, we need to find something else to do. Sheldon's been known to milk symptoms for all they're worth," Howard insisted.

"Do you guys feel guilty at all?" Raj asked, his mask moving with his words.

Howard and Leonard stared at him through their eyeholes.

"How do you mean?" Leonard asked.

"Well he is our friend. And it's not like this happens often…"

"Yeah, but he's a mega-doucheburger when he's sick. Do you remember the ear infection of '06?"

"I take care of Sheldon enough," Leonard insisted. "I drive him to work. I get his take out. I cater to his ridiculous requirements for living with him."

"Yes," Raj nodded his head. "But isn't it a little weird that we have to hide from him? Why don't we just tell him he can take care of himself?"

"Do you want to tell him that?" Howard turned it around on him.

Raj hung his head, "Well…. No."

"Exactly."

A ball of guilt formed in Leonard's gut as Raj's words sunk in. He pushed it away, rationalizing again the madness of dealing with Sheldon when he's sick.

"So how is Operation-Get-Penny-to-Notice-You?" Howard asked.

Leonard crossed his arms, "Fine. Though, Sheldon keeps taking her mail to her even though I've been telling him that is my only way to talk to her."

"Dude, I keep telling you. That isn't going to work. You gotta offer her tech assistance," Raj explained.

"But she doesn't ever complain about having tech problems," Leonard countered. "What am I supposed to do? Break into her apartment, download a virus onto her lap top, and hope she thinks to come and ask me?"

"Besides, Sheldon would probably cock-block you there too. He can't even trust you to defrag a computer the right way," Howard reminded him before stepping up in line to order.

"He's been acting strangely," Leonard shook his head, thinking of his roommate. "Like he has somewhere to be. But where would he go? He's always at the apartment."

"Maybe he's finally losing it? We always said this day would come," Howard offered.

"Maybe," Leonard shrugged his shoulders.

* * *

Penny tried calling Leonard to pick up Sheldon, but he had given her some kind of run-around about a radioactive spill in the lab. While Penny didn't know if things like that actually happened in physics labs, she did have a sixth sense when it came to bullshit.

Her manager had said in so many words if she didn't get Sheldon out of the restaurant soon, she would face some ugly consequences. All of her coworkers had come to an understanding that the crazy Tuesday hamburger guy and his posse were friends of hers, and suddenly, she had become responsible for him. Fortunately, her shift was coming to an end and she could take him home with her. She had never experienced someone become such a monstrous baby while sick, but it didn't entirely surprise her. Considering how particular and germaphobic Sheldon was about everything, this reaction from him when he actually did come down with something was to be expected.

It didn't take much convincing on her part to get Sheldon to come home. She could tell already that he had selected his victim, and she had a suspicion he'd cling to her all day. Once they reached the fourth floor landing, she attempted a quick escape.

"Wait!" He called out to her. "Aren't you going to take care of me?"

She turned slowly towards him, "Sheldon, I'm really tired from working so much. Can't you take care of yourself?"

He pouted, "But I've never had to be sick alone."

"Never?"

He shook his head, crinkling his tissue.

Penny could feel her heart break a little at the sadness on his face. Why did this work so well on her? Why couldn't she just walk away, like everyone else? Why did she have this compulsion to care for him?

"Alright," she sighed and headed to his apartment. "But you owe me."

Sheldon stared back at her in alarm.

"Owe you what?" he nasally replied.

She thought about it. Her aching heels screamed for attention.

"A foot rub. Once you're better," she slyly smirked.

His eyes widened in fear, "You mean… touching your… feet?"

"Yep," she popped the 'p'.

"But Penny!" his shrilled attempt at her name came out gargled through his congestion. "I can't touch your feet."

"Why not? You've touched everything else," she reminded.

His blinked rapidly, his cheeks coloring to match his beanie, "But feet are unsanitary."

"I'll wash them," she insisted. "Also, you're not exactly sterile at this moment either."

Sheldon angrily furrowed his brow, "Yes, all because of you! You're the carrier and clearly you are immune to whatever ailment has stricken me."

Penny rolled her eyes and pointed towards the hallway, "Just go get in bed and I'll bring you some orange juice or something."

"I don't want orange juice," he whined.

"Why?"

"The ascorbic acid gives me heart burn."

 _Of course it does_. "Well what  _do_  you want, then?"

"Well, my mother always taught me that when someone is in distress, it is customary to bring them a hot beverage."

"Would you like tea then?"

He nodded his head, the ball on his cap flopping with his movements.

"Okay, I'll make tea."

While she worked at making Sheldon's tea wondering what she did in life to deserve this torment, he went to the bathroom to hock up sputum from his throat. Penny wanted nothing more than to take a long, hot bubble bath and pass out in her bed – not to be taking care of a 6'2, lanky toddler.

When she carried his tea into his room, he had already centered himself in his bed, his Saturday pajamas looking as pristine as ever. Penny realized that she had never actually been in his room before, and she took in the cold organization. Most people in his state would have tissues dispersed around their bed, maybe a magazine or two to keep them occupied, and the covers would be tangled somewhere by the bottom of the mattress. Penny didn't notice a single disturbance in this room, and the dark, drab colors contrasted with the bright images of her own bedroom.

The only real indications of Sheldon's sickness was the redness around his nose, the tired sink of his eyes, and the slight wheezing as he held his mouth open to breathe. She handed him his tea, sitting down at the side of the bed, hoping this would be the only thing she had to do for him.

"Alright, sweetie, here's your tea. Drink that up and try and get some rest," she rubbed his leg through his comforter and tentatively tried standing up.

"You aren't going to stay and keep me company?" he asked after taking a sip of his tea.

Penny took a deep breath, surrendering to this duty, "Since when do you actually enjoy other people's company?"

"I've always enjoyed your company," he softly murmured, averting his eyes and taking another sip.

Penny put her hand to her chest, a sweet, swelling sensation overcoming her. How was it that he could drive her crazy all day but with a simple sentence chase away all her feelings of annoyance and pre-mediated homicide?

Scooting closer to the head of the bed, she continued rubbing his thigh, sometimes moving her hand up his torso and sliding it back down again.

"Penny, I think trying to seduce me isn't the best idea right now," he pointed a look at her.

She smiled, "I'm not trying to seduce. Just comfort."

"Oh," he sipped his tea again.

She racked her brain for a moment, trying to think of a conversation to pass the time.

"So," she clicked her tongue. "Your sister is coming in a few days?"

"Yes, on Tuesday," he specified.

"That's nice," Penny nodded her head. "How long is she staying?"

"That is undetermined. She appears to be running away from something back in Texas," anger colored Sheldon's face as he considered his suspicions again. "She will be living here until she can find her own place."

Intrigued, Penny sat up a little straighter, "Do you know what the problem is?"

Sheldon grimaced, wondering how he should broach the topic.

"She called me very distressed and in near hysterics about a month ago. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong or why she needed to leave so suddenly. My only clue was her cryptic response that she needed to do what our mother 'shoulda done a long time ago'," he used air quotes and added an extra twang to mimic his sister's accent.

Penny began forming conclusions of what that sounded like to her, "And you don't know what that means?"

"Well it could mean any number of things because there are many things my mother should do. She should leave her cult-like church that tries to convince her of creationism and that my work is controlled by Satan. She should use less Crisco in her cooking as her cholesterol is high already and my father died of a heart attack. But considering that Missy is not a religious zealot and running to California certainly does not prevent clogging arteries, I can only assume she doesn't mean either of those things."

Penny stared at him expectantly. He noticed a shine to her eyes as she waited for him to spit out his actual conclusions.

"I suppose the most logical answer that I've derived is that Missy is escaping some kind of abusive relationship that involves either physical assault, alcoholism, or a combination of the two."

Penny hung her head, looking down at his blue comforter where her hand stroked the firm muscle of his thigh. Her heart broke, thinking about Sheldon as a young child seeing that. She briefly wondered if he also experienced similar abuse. Unsure of how to broach the topic, she focused on the present.

"Well, you're a good brother to let her stay here then," she smiled sadly at him. "Not everyone has a brother like that they can count on."

Sheldon shifted uncomfortably at her words and set his mug on his side table. He picked up a small canister of Vick's Vapor Rup and held it out to her.

"Can you rub this on my chest?" his stuffed nose caused his words to whine through his request.

She playfully scoffed, knowing perfectly well she wasn't able to deny him at this point, "Sheldon…"

"Please, please, please, please!" he extended his arm fully until the can touched her chest.

Sighing, she grabbed it and opened the lid. The strong sting of the aroma burned her nose and she scooped some on her fingers. Sheldon had already pulled his pajama top up, presenting his chest to her.

His skin felt even hotter to her hand than usual, which she assumed was from the fever. She began rubbing the gel but was stopped by his protest.

"No, counter-clockwise or my chest hair mats."

Rolling her eyes, she switched her rotation. He sighed beneath her, breathing in the medicine. He gave her another pleading look.

"Can you sing me Soft Kitty?"

Penny narrowed her eyes and tried think if she had ever heard that song before, "What?"

"My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick," he explained.

"I'm sorry, honey. I don't know it."

"I'll teach you."

He surprised her when he actually began singing the tune. His voice carried a nice melody, even with a scratchy throat. She stopped her ministrations on his chest, holding her hand still as she listened. When the short song ended, he waited for her expectantly. Penny didn't know how to proceed.

"Now you," he gestured to her with a nod of his head.

 _Crap, am I really doing this_? But she was. She sucked in a breath and started singing.

" _Soft kitty, warm kitty…"_

She forgot the line, but Sheldon quickly filled in.

"Little ball of fur…keep rubbing."

She shook her head with a smile and moved her hand again, " _Little ball of fur. Happy kitty…"_

"Sleepy kitty."

" _Sleepy kitty. Purr purr purr_."

"Again," Sheldon demanded.

"I just sang it," Penny whined.

"Yes, but not all the way through. Again, please."

He owed her at least five foot rubs for this, Penny thought to herself.

" _Soft kitty, warm kitty  
Little ball of fur  
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty  
Purr purr purr_."

"Thank you, Penny," he happily hummed as he closed his eyes. She pulled her hand away and he pushed down his pajama top.

Warmness settled in her chest as she watched him relax back and attempt sleep. His lounging posture looked so inviting. Leaning forward, she planted a kiss on his forehead, curling up next to him as she tucked her legs on the bed. He turned his head to the side, allowing her access to rest her head on his shoulder. He had his hands folded on top of the covers, and she traced the smooth skin of his knuckles. After a few moments, he accepted her fingers twining through his.

Several thoughts floated through her mind as she eased her muscles slowly into relaxation. She wondered about Sheldon's sister, and how it would be nice to have another woman around. She hadn't actually socialized with a female friend in a real way since she left Kurt. That thought made her think of her own questionable relationship with her ex, and while she didn't know the severity of the abuse Missy might be going through, she could relate in a way. She realized in that moment she hadn't even thought of Kurt in weeks. It was as if that point in her life had happened to some other alternate version of herself - a Penny who definitely would not sing lullabies to a super-genius with dolls lining the shelves in his room.

The rest of her thoughts blended in a hazy stream. Unintentionally, she fell asleep on him, a soft, familiar tune playing on repeat in the back of her mind.

* * *

Leonard crawled across the floor of the apartment on his hands and knees. The silence indicated to him that Sheldon must be sleeping, but Howard and Raj convinced him to take these precautions anyways. He made it successfully past Sheldon's room, dropping off the sensor, and dragging himself across the floor to his own bedroom. It was difficult navigating through the darkness, but he managed to find his glasses.

On his way out, he considered for a moment checking in on Sheldon. Penny had texted him earlier informing him that she was taking Sheldon back to the apartment. He felt bad leaving her at Sheldon's mercy. He only hoped that she believed his excuse about work. Worried about the possible repercussions of waking Sheldon, he picked up the sensor on his way out and crawled back to the front door to continue his avoidance marathon.

* * *

Penny woke up, sweaty and hot. One moment she was cuddled on Sheldon's shoulder, and the next she was buried into his mattress, his face hovering above hers. At some point during their nap, he had turned over to cradle her to his chest, his arm wrapped tightly around her. She still had on her uniform with her floral, multi-colored hoodie, and Sheldon's sick breath blew hotly in her face. She managed to pry herself out of his grasp with only a groan in frustration as his reply. She sat up on the bed, peeling her hoodie off her body as she looked down at his sleeping form.

Something changed in that moment for her. She couldn't say whether her feelings shifted for him, or she was able to finally release the denial and accept what had been developing for a while. But as she stared down at Sheldon, a full happiness encased her. She thought of her need to care for him today and the way she melted when he showed her this vulnerable side of himself. She thought of how much she looked forward to seeing him, kissing him, pleasuring him. She never felt frustrated at his inexperience, which was a common feeling she had in her sexual conquests with other men who couldn't care less about her needs. Even when he was being a huge pain in her ass, she couldn't think of anywhere else she wanted to be.

Penny knew this feeling well. She was falling in love with him. As the acceptance settled in her chest, a new emotion grabbed her by the neck and shook her. Fear. Falling for someone always led to disastrous consequences and made her do stupid things, and Sheldon was the wrong man to fall for. He probably wouldn't even understand it if he it ever happened for him. He made it clear in the beginning that he wanted to have a physical relationship with her without any emotional ties. She knew these situations got messy. She just assumed with him being the virgin, she would be the stronger of the two.

Penny considered the possibility of running now while she still could. The thought weighed down on her and panic tickled up her spine. She wondered what Sheldon would feel if she did. Would he knock on her door every day in his special way, seeing if they could rekindle this relationship? Would he admit he wanted more than just sex? As she romanticized the idea of leaving just to have Sheldon chase her, Penny submitted to the framework that getting rid of these feelings was not an option. Worse, what if she left and he didn't follow, but instead, returned to his life of routine and numbers as if she had never existed? That possibility frightened her even more.

Curling up next to him, she snuggled her face into his chest. She could smell the faint aroma of Vick's that had long absorbed into his skin. Her light nudging stirred him and he placed his arms around her again, nestling his face into her hair. She would stay, she mused. She would stay and see what would come of this. Maybe he'd come around and realize there was more to their attraction. She fell into her old habits of fantasy, dreaming she could be the only one to give this Tin Man a heart.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Missy Cooper adjusted the straps of her backpack as she walked to baggage claim, her stomach churning with anxiety. Moving in with her brother may not be ideal, but moving far, far away from Texas remained the only solution that she could figure out. It had been a few years since she had seen Sheldon. He had come to Texas for their father's funeral but since then, her mother mostly visited California to see him because he always offered to pay for her flight. She didn't mind so much. Her feelings for her brother were complicated, at best, and they hadn't had a close bond since he left for college at eleven. She really didn't know what would be in store for her living with him. They hadn't done so since they were children and now as adults in their late twenties, she knew they had grown up to become very different people.

She turned her phone off as soon as she walked through the doors of the Houston airport that morning, making sure no one would try to stop her. She had a good feeling though that despite not informing him that her plane landed on time, Sheldon would be waiting for her. Sure enough, as she descended the escalator, she noticed him in the crowd, standing out like a sore thumb wearing his khaki jacket and matching pants. A shorter man with black framed glasses stood next to him, uncomfortably shifting his eyes around. She determined this must be Shelly's roommate, Leonard.

It didn't take long for Sheldon to notice her staring at him. Even from across the room, he could feel her eyes fixed in his direction. Though disarming, it didn't surprise her how he immediately swooped his gaze towards her, their father's eyes staring back at each other. Their facial expressions didn't change to acknowledge the other but both of them communicated an unspoken message.

Once Missy reached their general vicinity, she changed her demeanor, donning a smile as she advanced towards her brother and his roommate. Leonard raised his eyebrows as the tall, beautiful woman approached them.

"Hi, Shelly," she waved at him.

"Missy," Sheldon nodded his head in reply. "This is my roommate, Leonard."

Leonard reached out his hand unable to tear his eyes away from her. Shaking his hand, she said, "Charmed."

Leonard smiled shyly at the soft twang of her southern accent.

Never one for niceties, Sheldon resumed to business, "How many bags did you check?"

"Two," Missy clipped back. "I packed all of my things this morning and only brought what was necessary."

Sheldon nodded his head, "I purchased you two temporary storage units that fit in my closet and cleared out two drawers in my bedroom for you to use. But otherwise, you'll need to live out of your suitcases."

Missy waved him off, "That's fine. You didn't even have to do all that."

Leonard cleared his throat, pulling both of their attentions to him, "So, um, Missy? How was your flight?"

"Oh, fine," Missy smiled. "I don't fly very often and fortunately, nothing too dramatic happened."

"If it had, we would have known. I subscribed to your flight itinerary for both text and email alerts," Sheldon explained.

The conveyer belt lurched and one by one the checked baggage circled out to the waiting passengers. They stepped forward with everyone else, and Missy kept her eyes trained to search for her luggage.

After a long, awkward silence, Leonard grew uncomfortable.

"So, Missy, Sheldon never really mentioned having a sister before," he blabbed.

This didn't surprise Missy in the slightest. Most of her acquaintances didn't know she had a brother either. Well, another brother.

"That's alright," Missy heaved one of her suitcases off the belt as Sheldon grabbed the other. "There isn't all that much to mention."

* * *

The ride back to the apartment passed by fairly quickly. Missy turned on her phone seeing that she had twenty missed calls from her boyfriend and two from her mother. She deleted them and didn't bother listening to the voicemails or checking her text messages. A new tension unraveled from her shoulders as she took in the clean, sunny appearance of California.

Lugging two, large suitcases up three flights of stairs proved to be troublesome. She let Sheldon and Leonard tackle one since she couldn't wait around for them to argue about the "physics" of getting both of the suitcases up the stairs in the most efficient manner. Missy figured it would be most efficient to just haul the damn things already, but then again, she wasn't a rocket scientist.

Once inside, Missy marveled at the cleanliness and order of Sheldon's apartment, but her fascination was interrupted by sheets of paper being shoved in her face.

"This is the temporary Roommate Agreement I have written for your stay. Look it over and sign where I've tagged the pages."

Missy flipped through the document. It looked like a whole lot of rambling using bigger words than necessary. She began signing her name but Sheldon quickly halted her.

"You didn't even read it!"

"I can figure out pretty much what it says," she rolled her eyes and continued signing.

Sheldon crossed his arms, but Leonard stepped in before he launched into a rant. "Basically you can't use the bathroom from 7:15-7:45 because that is Sheldon's designated bathroom time. Keep the noise to a minimum after 10:00pm. And don't bring any guests over without a 24 hour notice beforehand."

"And you must request permission before entering my room," Sheldon added. "People can't –"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember how particular you are about your room, Shelly. We did share one for years, remember?"

"Yes," Sheldon crossed his arms. "And I specifically remember you disregarding the regulations I put in place then, especially the boundary I drew between our sides."

Missy's phone chirped and she pulled it out of her pocket. It was her neighbor, Suzy, letting her know her mother had officially lost it, calling on the Holy Spirit to find her baby.

"I gotta call Mama, Shelly," she searched her contacts for her mother's number. "We'll talk about it later."

Sheldon turned his nose up, keeping his feet planted on the floor, "Is there any particular reason you asked me not to inform our mother of your stay here? You know I don't like keeping secrets."

Missy sighed, "I'm gonna tell her now. I just needed to get out of Texas without anyone stopping me."

* * *

Penny wasn't sure why it surprised her that Sheldon showed up for his Tuesday hamburger like every other week. She expected a possible deviation in the schedule because of his sister's arrival, but this was Sheldon. Figures he wouldn't even bend for family.

She watched in curiosity as the hostess seated the three at the table. She studied Missy for a second, surprised at how she didn't meet her expectations of what a sister of Sheldon's would be like. Again, she wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but definitely not someone who looked completely normal. Sheldon was so strange and extraordinary in so many ways that she imagined he had to come from an equally strange family. But Missy looked completely ordinary, wearing jeans and a cute purple top. She saw the family resemblance immediately between the two siblings. Wearing heels, Missy stood just an inch shorter than Sheldon. She felt a little bad for Leonard in that moment because he looked almost comical walking next to them.

She approached the table with a smile, focusing her eyes on Missy.

"Hi guys," she chirped. "Are you going to introduce me, Sheldon?"

Missy turned her eyes up at the perky blonde in the yellow uniform. It reminded her of her job at Fuddrucker's and that she'd probably never see that final paycheck.

"Penny, this is my sister, Missy. Missy, this is my neighbor and Tuesday waitress, Penny," Sheldon returned his eyes to the menu.

Penny pursed her lips at him, shooting him a pointed glare, "I'm also his friend."

Missy turned an eyebrow up at the weird exchange but shrugged it off and greeted the woman, "It's nice to meet you. I guess I'll be your neighbor too for the time being."

"Well, if you need anything, just ask," Penny offered.

"We need some service, if you don't mind," Sheldon cleared his throat.

"Yeah, yeah, you want a lemonade, and Leonard wants a Diet Pepsi," Penny rolled her eyes. She noticed Leonard's far away gaze as he stared at Missy. "What can I get for you, Missy?"

"Oh, I'll just have a water."

Penny left to put their drink orders in the computer. Missy's eyes followed her and then looked back to her brother suspiciously.

Leonard made several attempts to engage Missy in conversation about her life back in Texas, which was the last thing that she wanted to discuss. She humored him, spinning him charming tales scattered with over exaggerations for comedy and under exaggerations to play down the drama. For the most part, Sheldon stayed quiet, his eyes following Penny around the restaurant as she rotated through her tables. Missy took notice of this, cataloging for later discussion with her brother. The thing that intrigued her more than seeing her brother act strangely normal about a pretty girl was the way that Penny would lean her body towards him anytime she approached the table. While Missy understood Sheldon had a kind of handsomeness to him that intrigued a lot of women (such as her friends on the rare occasions when he would come home to visit while they were teenagers), she knew that once he opened that mouth of his, he blew any chances he had if he cared to have them. Not only did it seem that he cared in this case, but this woman more than understood the big bag of crazy that came with interacting with her brother, and if anything, it seemed that she actually  _liked_  it.

Sheldon found today's dinner conversation dull and annoying. Without Wolowitz or Koothrappali around to engage him in hypothetical quandaries about their favorite superheroes or discuss the likelihood of the Higgs Boson particle being discovered, he was forced to listen to Leonard's feeble attempts to flirt with his sister. Though he severely doubted that either of them would prove much help in this situation what with Raj struck dumb in the presence of a woman and Wolowitz's inability to think without his penis.

He settled for watching Penny. He did this often when he came to the restaurant. The way she moved around fluidly and consistently from table to table fascinated and calmed him all at once. She moved to an internal clock that he assumed she was not aware of. Running on intuition, Penny didn't plan her days meticulously and seemed to embody the phrase "fly by the seat of your pants". But there was an order and logic to the way she waitressed. He watched as she cordially smiled and joked with the customers. She seemed to be able to remember complicated orders, and he hadn't seen her slip up yet. She took charge when other servers were having issues, and he noted that she always maintained a clean distance between herself and the food. Sheldon could tell that Penny was the best choice for his waitress every week, not just because he was her friend.

Today, however, keeping a watchful eye on Penny was not the serene experience as usual. Once she put their food orders in, a group of young, rowdy men were seated in her section, and he noticed that they were treating her rather rudely. He knew that men, especially in groups, gave into social dominance hierarchy and egged on the alpha to pursue women who seemed sexually available (or didn't which isn't a concern for these Neanderthals). One of the men in particular focused his attentions on Penny, and anytime she came around he would lean in closely to her in a way that made Sheldon grip his fists together beneath the table. Worst though, he noticed Penny laughing a little too much at their jokes and swatting her hand playfully at the group. He suddenly lost his appetite for his barbecue burger.

It did not go unnoticed by Missy that her brother developed a jealous fascination with Penny and the table of frat boys. She noted the tell-tale signs of his anger: the hard strain of his clenched jaw, his white knuckles, and the subtle twitch of his left eye. Of course, her brother probably didn't understand that flirting customers might be Penny's best tips for the night. Her analysis of this new development continued to be interrupted by Leonard who asked far too many questions for her liking.

Sheldon likened this slow-burning anger building inside of him to the feelings he had when Leonard tried postulating a future relationship with Penny. It occurred to him in that moment as he kept a watchful eye on the lecherous way that the group of men pointed at Penny's backside, that the loose boundaries surrounding their engagement left him feeling unsure of whether or not Penny would pursue relationships with other men. Though he laughed at the idea of her accepting a date proposal from Leonard, it wasn't forbidden under their non-contractual arrangement for her to do so. And for all he knew, she could very well appreciate the attentions of these uncouth males and their vulgar displays of affection towards her.

Penny circled around her tables again, dropping off food at one and returning a check to another. She decided to make a quick check up on Sheldon's table.

"How's the food, guys?"

"Lovely," Missy smiled at her. "Thank you, Penny."

"Leonard?"

Leonard jolted in his spot, realizing he had been staring at Missy and didn't notice Penny's approach. "Oh, what? Oh, right the food. It's great. Thanks Penny."

Penny eyed Leonard knowingly. She briefly wondered if his crush on her would dissipate now that he had someone else to distract him.

"Sheldon? You usually have something snarky to add," his silence did not go unnoticed by her.

Having barely eaten his burger, he readjusted himself and picked up the sandwich, "Satisfactory."

Anxiety crept up Penny's spine at the coldness in Sheldon's tone. He had barely made eye contact with her since they were seated, and she noticed his usual relentless chatter and attempts to engage her in the table's conversation were absent today.

Penny left with a frown to take the order of Table 5.

"Have you fellas figured out what you want, yet?" She asked, knowing that her smile came off as phony.

Sheldon watched closely as Penny approached  _that_  table. The flirty flare that she brought had disappeared, and now she held the notepad close to her face as she took down the groups' order. Before turning to leave, the alpha male who had been eyeing her the entire time with a predatory glare reached out for her. Sheldon's stomach twisted as the man's ran his hand down Penny's backside.

Penny froze in shock as the one particularly zealous man at the table touched her ass and squeezed her right cheek. This wasn't the first time someone tried to cop a feel on her before. It happens more than most waitresses like to admit. Though it became something she learned to swallow while on the job, it still didn't stop the embarrassment and disgust that ran through her every time.

"Excuse you," she jerked out of his extended grasp.

"Ah, honey, why you gotta be like that?"

Anger and humiliation colored her cheeks, "I'll put this order in for you."

An urge for violence overcame Sheldon as his fists shook beneath the table. He wanted to march over to them and defend Penny's honor. If a fight escalated because of it, the testosterone and adrenaline pumping through his veins in this moment would allow him to fight back rather than cower (he handled most of his physical encounters in life this way). The only logic holding him in his seat was the initial agreement to keep their secret. He scanned his eyes to his sister and Leonard who were still engaged in cordial but stunted conversation; neither seemed to have witnessed the molestation of Penny or her hurried departure from the table.

Sheldon silently stewed in his seat, positive that not even chamomile tea could quell the rage he felt in his heart.

* * *

Sleep evaded Sheldon that night as he tried to settle his mind from the day's events. Since the moment his head hit the pillow, his mind rambled with the possibilities of Penny being wooed by another man. Though he understood due to Penny's embarrassed expression and handing the offending table off to a male waiter that she in no way was interested in inappropriate, groping men, the possibility still remained that suitors would approach her and he had no claim over Penny's fidelity. It occurred to him that the terms to 'friends with benefits' explicitly implied the ability to engage in sexual relations with another person as seen fit by either party. For all he knew, Penny very well could have engaged in coitus with any number of males without his knowledge. The idea churned his stomach and soured his throat.

He remembered  _that man's_ hands running across her bottom. A place where his own hands had grasped as she moved her hips above him, finding her own release from his deep penetration. A place where he watched water trail down her bare skin as he spread soap suds across her back. The idea of another man touching her in that way unsettled him on a disturbing, profound level. He didn't like the idea of thinking of another person belonging to him. On one hand, he understood Penny to be her own, autonomous person. Her independence, especially considering the menial, minimum wage job she has, impressed him, especially after seeing his mother and sister struggle to make ends meet on their own and always having to rely on abusive men to take care of them. He would never want to take that away from Penny or insinuate that just because they engaged in coitus that she owed him anything else. But the idea of someone else knowing her the way he knew her or her sharing those vulnerable moments with another person while she did so with him… Sheldon couldn't wrap his mind around ever feeling okay with that.

Pulling on his robe, he snuck out of his room as quietly as possible, hoping that he wouldn't wake up Leonard or his sister. The lights in the apartment were completely off, and he had to slowly make his way through, using his eidetic memory of the apartment layout so that he wouldn't bump into anything. He could hear his sister's steady breathing from the couch and hustled his way over to the door, closing it silently behind him.

However, Sheldon was not the only one in the family who possessed Vulcan hearing. Missy woke to her brother leaving the apartment. Finding this behavior odd, she crawled off the couch and scrambled to the door to peer out of the peep-hole. She watched as he knocked in a triple succession on the door across the hall. She mentally predicted the next events and watched as the blonde waitress from before opened the door to him wearing only a purple robe. She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. She half expected to see Sheldon push her away, but to her surprise and slight revulsion; she watched as her brother kissed the waitress back, pushing her into the apartment until the door closed behind them.

* * *

When Penny answered the door, the first thing Sheldon noticed was that she was wet. Her hair hung on her shoulders in damp loose curls and little water droplets scattered down the front of her robe. The second thing he noticed was the surprise in her wide-eyes as she took a few moments to look him over.

He didn't have a plan when he got out of bed to come over here. He just knew he had to see her and figure out a way to ease the tension billowing inside of him. He hated feeling out of control, and he found himself frequently in this situation when it came to Penny.

She pulled him from his frantic searching by twisting her arms over his shoulders and pulling him down in a kiss. He could taste the mint on her tongue and when he slid his hands around her middle, he could tell she wasn't wearing anything beneath her robe. This would not be a brief discussion where they both came to an understanding, and he could peacefully return to his bedroom for full night of slumber. He needed more from Penny tonight. Or more importantly, he needed to show Penny more to assure him that she would not be straying.

Coming to a decision, Sheldon guided Penny backwards into her apartment, never removing his lips from hers as he shut the door behind him. Penny responded by pushing him up against the front door and nipping at his bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. They were falling into their usual rhythm, but Sheldon didn't want this to be like the times before. Off-setting her center of gravity, he pulled her hips against him and walked her back to the arm of the couch. With this new leverage, he towered over her frame, cupping her face into his palms as he pivoted her head to take control of the kiss.

Sheldon's new enthusiasm for taking the dominant position excited Penny. She was certain it wouldn't last long once naughtier activities commenced, but she delighted in his small step forward while it lasted.

Remembering his previous fears, Sheldon broke away from the kiss with a gasp and turned his back to her so he could gather his thoughts for a few seconds. He still couldn't explain the phenomenon of his mind becoming blank while he kissed Penny, but it was still as pervasive as ever. Breathing deeply, he collected himself and turned to face her again.

"Is everything okay?" Penny worriedly asked, remembering his cool distance from before. It had eaten away at her the rest of the day, and when she heard his knocks she figured it had been just a temporary fluke. But the strained way he stood before her now brought back those worries.

"No," he directly said to her and then turned his eyes to the ceiling as he paced in front of her.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you - ?" He started up but stopped himself, unsure of how to phrase this. "Is there -?"

Penny sat flabbergasted at Sheldon's loss of words. He always spoke so eloquently and as if he pre-planned every word he would say hours ahead of time. Something must be very wrong.

"Are you engaged in any sexual relationships with other men?" Sheldon decided the most direct route would be the best.

Penny's jaw dropped but she pulled it back up quickly, "No, why would you ask that?"

Sheldon folded his arms over his chest, turning his eyes away from her, "It occurred to me today that there is nothing binding you to not engage in amorous activities with other men if you so choose."

Licking her lips hesitantly, Penny spoke again, "Well, I'm not."

"I don't like the idea," he hammered out. Penny noticed an intense rawness to his eyes that she hadn't seen before.

"What idea?"

"Of you, with other men while you're with me," he finished, his arms unfolding down to his sides.

An excited chill ran up Penny's spine. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? That he wanted to be exclusive? Of course, he probably didn't understand exactly what this encounter implied, but obviously the thought of her with someone else angered him.

Approaching him cautiously, not wanting him to high-tail it from the sensitivity of his confession, Penny answered him with a new softness.

"So, I won't be with other men," Penny ran her fingers along the inside of his wrist. "Will you be with other women?"

Sheldon snorted, "Of course not. I've never wanted to be with a woman before you, Penny."

If this were any other guy, the things pouring from his mouth right now would mean so much more. It would mean that he wanted her to be his girlfriend, and that she was the only woman to ever make him feel this way (just a hair shy of a love confession). But this was Sheldon, and he wasn't like any man she had ever met. When he said these things, he meant them as literally as they sounded. Just because he didn't want her with anyone else didn't mean that it meant anything more. And when he said that he didn't want to be with a woman before her, he literally meant exactly that. Penny understood these things about him, but she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with the idea that maybe Sheldon might be more on her wavelength when it came to this relationship than she previously assumed.

"So then we won't sleep with anyone else," Penny nodded her head, staring up at his lips.

"Or engage in coitus with them," Sheldon wanted to stress that point in particular.

"Especially not that," Penny shook her head, standing on her tip toes to plant a kiss on his lips.

Though only a peck, they held onto each other, their lips grazing one another's as they pulled away.

"You showered recently?" Sheldon asked as he touched the ends of her damp hair.

"Just got out," she murmured, planting another kiss onto his jaw.

An idea entered Sheldon's mind, one that surprised even him. Though his mind had calmed with Penny's declaration, his heart still beat wildly in his chest. He felt a strange power in his limbs. He recalled this feeling prior when Penny was on her knees in his shower, pleasuring him with her mouth. He had done some research later, worried about how her spontaneous act of oral sex might change the dynamics of their relationship. He understood that women enjoyed the reciprocal act, but it seemed a stretch with his comfort zone. However, he considered the variables presented to him in this moment. One - Penny has just taken a shower and was in her cleanest state. Two - the charged anger from before pushed him to display a show of dominance, one that he quite liked as he kissed her on the couch. And three - the frailty of this new bond he developed with Penny showed itself to be ever-present today, and the idea of her deciding to choose another sexual partner alarmed him in a way that he hadn't ever felt about losing a person in his life.

It seemed to Sheldon that the only logical thing to do in this moment would be to push past his previous misgivings and show Penny just how serious he was about being the only man to satisfy her needs.

He picked Penny up by her waist, taking a note from the way that he had seen men in TV and movies "take" their female partners to the bedroom when they wanted intercourse. He didn't appropriately anticipate for her height or weight, and he knocked her head into the top of the door frame.

"Ow!" Penny exclaimed but her giggling indicated to him that he didn't hurt her too badly. "Sheldon! What are you doing?"

Depositing Penny on the bed, he looked down at her and answered, "I predicted that that would go more smoothly than executed.

Rubbing the crown of her head, she twisted her face playfully and pulled him down by his robe, "Well, I appreciate the effort anyway."

He kissed her, opening his mouth wide as he lapped his tongue against hers. Noticing the urgency behind the hard push of his lips, and Penny quickly began undoing his robe, sliding it off his shoulders. Sheldon assisted her by undoing the top buttons of his pajama top, meeting her fingers halfway where she undid the bottom. He pulled the top off the reveal a white-undershirt. Why he insisted on wearing so many layers, Penny couldn't understand. But it definitely made moments like this frustrating.

Once Penny removed his undershirt, Sheldon stopped her hands, pushing them down onto the bed. He ran his fingers over her robe, finding the tie already loosened in the front. Pulling it apart, he graced his hands over her stomach, feeling the warm heat of her smooth, soft skin. As he pulled the robe away, he concluded his assessment from earlier correct. The robe framed her perky exposed breasts as they heaved up and down with her excited breaths. His eyes trailed to her hot-pink lacy underwear and he coordinated his next move. Leaning his head down, he pressed his lips to the center of her chest, kissing the hard bone of her sternum. Running his cheek over her perfectly round breast, he latched onto her nipple, the flesh hardening between his teeth as he sucked and licked at the peak. Her delighted mewls egged him on, and he switched breasts with a hard pop of release, using his hand to continue stimulating her.

Not that she was complaining, but Penny couldn't believe the initiative he took in this moment. Though he grew more confident in his movements during sex, she still had to push him to get up to that point most of the time, at least with suggestions or taking matters into her own hands. Who knew that just like any other man, Sheldon Cooper responded the same to a healthy dose of jealousy, kicking his butt into gear. She sighed contently as he kissed his way down her belly, stopping at her underwear line. She raised her hips as he pulled the garment away and she spread her legs hoping for a little more of his magic touch which she found he became especially skilled at since their first encounter.

She didn't expect, however, for Sheldon to stick his head between her legs and press his lips to her. She had never suggested it before, figuring he wouldn't be ready for a face full of crotch so soon. She hadn't gone down on him again since the shower, even though she knew he enjoyed himself. Though Sheldon loved kissing and had a fascination with doing it thoroughly and often while inside of her, she assumed he would have more problems with oral sex.

He hovered above her, his breath washing over her exposed mound as he pondered his next move. She bit her lip, having the instinct to instruct him, but she wanted to see where he'd take this. She didn't want to discourage this new predatory side of him. Instead she coaxed him with her hands, squeezing his shoulders in anticipation as she waited. She involuntarily clenched when his tongue finally met her clit

Unsure of how to proceed, Sheldon tentatively whipped his tongue out, licking her sensitive nub. He focused his slow movements here, knowing that clitoral stimulation always elicited favorable responses from Penny. Throaty sighs escaped her lips as he used more pressure with his tongue. Piecing this information together, he boldly made the next move of sucking her clit between his lips which caused Penny to squeeze her thighs around his head and chanted softly to a deity of unproven existence.

Penny didn't know where in the world Sheldon learned to do this, but she had a feeling his Google search history would contain more than just the science-y things he liked. That or her lessons worked so well, he learned to apply previous information to new experiences. Whatever it was, Penny planned to not say a single word that would disrupt this moment. She moved her hands to his hair, feeling the short crop against her fingers as she rubbed the back of his head while he licked and sucked at her. When he added a finger into her tense opening, she almost thanked God right there that this would be a successful experiment.

After a few strokes, Sheldon added a second finger, moving his tongue in time with his thrusting. The breathless moans coming from Penny now indicated to him that his actions were satisfactory, and he pushed on with a new enthusiasm. Curling his fingers against her G-spot, he had to push down one of her legs so that she didn't incapacitate him with her clenching thighs.

As Penny's climax began to build, she lifted her hips off the bed, knocking Sheldon's face into her mound. Rotating her hips against him, Sheldon picked up his pace, working her over harder with his mouth and fingers simultaneously. With a harsh sucking on her clit, Penny cried out as her walls spasmed around his fingers, her orgasm shooting through her legs, leaving her immobile.

Once her body relaxed beneath him, Sheldon pushed himself off the bed, pulling his pajama bottoms and underwear off. He turned to retrieve a condom from her dresser but stopped when her voice called to him.

"No, I don't want you to use one."

Sheldon faced her again, looking down in confusion.

"I want to just feel you," Penny explained. "All of you."

A nervous thrill ran down his back, "Are you currently taking an oral contraceptive."

Penny nodded and bit her lip.

"Very well," he crawled onto the bed as she pulled her robe out from under her and tossed it aside. Settling on top of her, Sheldon kissed and sucked on the side of her neck. A scary newness always shuddered through him when he pressed against Penny this way without any clothes. It wasn't frightening enough to cause him turn and run, but it did make his heart beat faster and goose bumps form on his arms and back. His hardness pressed in the crease of her folds and for the first time, he felt her slickness against his own genitals without a latex barrier.

Penny spread her legs, rubbing herself along the underside of his shaft. Sheldon reached down and positioned himself at her entrance, pushing inside of her with one, long stroke. Once completely sheathed, he pulled back slowly until he had just the tip inside and then thrust back down in a smooth quick motion. He repeated this over and over again until they were both panting in each other's ears. Without the condom, Sheldon could feel so much more. His tip even more sensitive, he felt a loss of control again like the first time.

Feeling empowered from the breathless orgasm he'd given Penny, he made an executive decision.

"I want to enter you from behind," he whispered against her neck.

Penny moaned, grabbing his ass and grinding into his next few thrusts. She really hoped he meant doggie-style because if not, Sheldon would get clocked right in his eye.

Pushing on his shoulders to give her some room, Penny flipped over on her stomach and arched her back to present herself to him. Sheldon ran his fingers up the curve of her spine, admiring the mathematics of her shape. Grasping her hips, he sat up on his knees and positioned his tip against her slit, a new tightness squeezing him as he pushed inside of her again. Something primal and male swelled up in him as he thrust into her, and he found his pace increasing with a new roughness he'd never dared take before. Penny responded enthusiastically, huffing and crying out into the pillow. Using his grasp on her hips as leverage, he pulled her towards him as he thrust forward, his body slapping against her skin as he picked up his pace.

Penny twisted her eyes closed and growled into her mattress. She always loved this position because of the intensity of the penetration. But what made this even sexier was the new confidence Sheldon used as he pounded into her, getting lost in his own pleasure as he took her. She pulsed around him, feeling a deep orgasm building inside of her as his aggression picked up. Moving with him, she backed into him, needing for him to be harder and rougher to push her over. As his thrusts became frantic, any caution he might have been holding released, and she could feel the full power of him pistoning into her as she screamed obscenities against her feather pillow.

He came with a blinding focus, his nervous system trained to the pulsating in his shaft as he released inside of her. The rhythms of their orgasm rolled together, and every pull of her walls drew him further inside. He collapsed on top of her as she rested her hips back onto the bed. They lay that way for a few moments with his penis still encased inside of her as they both tried to catch their breaths.

Once he got his wits back, Sheldon dragged his face across her shoulders, kissing the expanse of her back as he pulled away. She shivered as he lazily made his way down her spine. Once he reached her cheeks, he traced the area where the creep from earlier had grabbed her. Leaning over, he planted a kiss in the spot, branding it as his.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is suggestive content in this chapter that directly states/implies verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. While not graphic, this may be triggering or uncomfortable for some readers. If so, I apologize.

Chapter 15

Missy retouched her makeup as she checked her appearance in her compact mirror while she sat in Sheldon's office. Sheldon had sprung an interview on her with the department chair, Dr. Gablehauser, to apply for a secretary position in the departmental office. She had never worked as a secretary before, but according to Sheldon, none of the other women in the past three years were "competent at their jobs". Why he seemed to think she would be any better, she really couldn't say.

"Shelly, I still don't know what I'm going to say to this man. The only places I've ever worked are in food service."

Clacking away at his keyboard, Sheldon kept his eyes trained to his screen, "A secretary's position only requires organization and sociability to handle interdepartmental disputes and communication between the department chair and other institutions. While I am not one to judge your organizational skills, though as a child were abysmal at best, you seem fairly apt at chit-chatting and talking your way out of trouble."

Missy rolled her eyes, capping her lipstick to put back in her purse, "I'm pretty sure there is more to it than that."

"When hired, the old secretary will show you the basics of what to do, and then I can assist you on improving all the tasks she performed subpar."

Standing up from his seat, he closed the lid of his lap top. "It's 10 minutes until your scheduled interview. I'll escort you to his office."

As they turned to exit his office, a scrambling of brightly colored wardrobe darted away from the door and settled just out in the hallway. Standing in the threshold, Sheldon and Missy took in the sight of Leonard, Howard, and Raj pretending to stand around nonchalantly.

"Is there a reason you're all dawdling outside of my doorway?" Sheldon asked.

"Hey buddy!" Howard waved and strutted to the siblings. "We just wanted to meet your – may I say – beautiful sister."

Howard extended his hand to Missy. "Howard Wolowitz, department of Applied Physics. You might be familiar with some of my work. It's currently assisting the Mars Rover in collecting potential extraterrestrial biological substrates."

"I hardly think a glorified shelf that balances itself really is assisting the discovery of microscopic life on other planets."

She apprehensively took Howard's hand, squeaking as he peppered a few kisses on her knuckles. "Enchanté, Mademoiselle."

Frowning at the sight, Sheldon handed Missy his pocket size hand sanitizer once Howard pulled away.

"I suppose I should introduce you. Gentlemen, this is my twin sister, Missy. Missy, you've met Leonard," Leonard's eyes brightened, and he waved his hand for an awkward second. "And Howard," Howard waggled his eyebrows. "And this is Rajesh." Raj's eyes widen as she smiled at him. He averted his gaze.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet and re-meet y'all," Missy nodded her head.

A nervous chuckle erupted from Leonard, and he quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. Everyone stared at him, waiting for an explanation.

"Sorry," he meekly waved his other hand. "It's just… it's just really adorable the way you say 'y'all'."

"I wouldn't exactly say it's adorable. Lazy is more accurate since Missy is under the southern disillusion that shortening one's vernacular is somehow more efficient and charming," Sheldon corrected.

Missy placed her hand on her hip, "Y'all makes sense, if you ask me. Who wants to go around referring to people as "you all" or "you guys" when you can just say y'all? And clearly your friends here are more than charmed with my usage, Shelly."

Howard snorted, "Yeah, Shelly. We think it's cute."

"Considering your motivations, I don't hold any credibility to your opinions," Sheldon snapped at him. "And don't ever call me Shelly."

"Let me see if I have this right," Missy considered the three men in front of her. "Leonard, obviously. Howard. And… I'm sorry, what's your name again?"

Raj wilted under her questioning eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets. Turning on his heal, he casually walked away, pulling at a sign on the bulletin board as he passed.

"Rajesh," Sheldon nodded his head to her. "We must be going. Missy has an interview with Dr. Gablehauser which  _you all_  are making her late."

"Bye guys," Missy waved and followed Sheldon down the hall.

"You're not very nice to your friends," Missy remarked.

"And they're not always nice to me. Besides, they were pointlessly wasting our time so that they could ogle you," Sheldon commented.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say it irritates you that they're flirting with me like it would any brother," Missy teased.

"Well you do know better, and you know that I don't give any consideration to who you choose to copulate with or who wants to copulate with you."

"I can't say that I feel the same. I've been meaning to ask you… that neighbor of yours…"

Sheldon interrupted by knocking on Dr. Gablehauser's office door.

"Come in!" A booming voice called to them.

Pushing the door ajar, Sheldon gestured Missy to step inside before him. Gablehauser's eyes lit up as he noticed her.

"Dr. Gablehauser," Sheldon greeted.

"Dr. Cooper," Gablehauser nodded back. "Is this the sister you were telling me about?"

"Yes, this is Melissa Cooper."

Missy stuck out her hand to shake his, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Gablehauser."

"Well, this is where I leave you. Leonard drives us home at precisely 5:00 pm so please don't lollygag."

Once Sheldon left, Gablehauser gestured for Missy to sit in the seat across from his.

"So Melissa," he reclined back, giving her a pointed look. "I only have one question for you which is a make or break for this job."

Missy sat forward, indicating she was all ears.

"Are you able to handle your brother?"

Missy turned in her eyebrows, "Excuse me?"

"Every damn secretary that has worked here in the last three years has been run off by your brother. And since he has tenure and the previous department chair did nothing to reign in his behavior, I essentially need someone with some back bone."

Missy nodded her head in understanding, "I've been dealing with Sheldon since we shared a womb together. He – I can handle."

"Great," Dr. Gablehauser extended his hand to shake hers. "Welcome to Cal-Tech Physics Department, Melissa."

"Please, call me Missy."

* * *

Missy hummed happily to herself as she dangled her shoe off her big toe underneath the coffee table. She stretched out on the couch and began dreaming of the new apartment she would be able to afford since she now had a salary position with benefits. She could even buy a car that wasn't a hunk of junk from a neighbor that needed to get rid of "projects" to make room on his lawn for more rusting vehicles. She really wanted to call her mother and tell her the good news, but their last conversation hadn't gone so well.

" _Melissa, how could you do this to Michael? And to me?" her mother cried out._

" _I didn't do nothing to Mike. He doesn't treat me right, Mama!"_

" _What possibly could he be doing to not treat you right? You're living in sin under his roof cause you didn't want to get married! I feel sorry for the boy. You always were breaking his heart. Just like you are now."_

_Choking back a sob, Missy clenched her fists together, "You wouldn't understand."_

" _What is it that I won't understand? Just tell me, Missy! Just come home and live with me for a while. Until you kids fix whatever happened."_

" _There's no fixin' it!" Missy screamed into the phone. "I'm not comin' home, Mama. I'm going to stay here with Shelly and find myself a job and make a life for myself."_

" _Shelly can't take care of you, honey. He can barely take care of himself without me having to come out there and straightenin' him out."_

" _I don't need Shelly taking care of me! I can take care of myself! I can't rely on anybody but me anymore!"_

_Her mother went silent on the other line._

" _Mama?"_

" _I see. All those years of taking care of you and you can't rely on me? Your own mother?"_

_The disappointment in her voice sliced through Missy's chest, "Mama, that isn't what I mean and you know it."_

" _You're just disrespectful and ungrateful! That's what this is all about. You're selfish, Melissa Jo!"_

" _I'm selfish!" Missy shouted, her sadness turning to anger again. "I have never disrespected you a day in my life! But I certainly am ungrateful for all those beatin's I got and every time Dad would grab at me while you were in the other room pretending nothing was going on."_

_She heard her mother gasp through her teeth! "Melissa!"_

" _It's true, Mama and you know it!" A cry finally escaped her mouth. "I know you tried your best, and I will always love you. But I can't be stuck like you were! Shelly got out, and I have to get out too."_

Too heartbroken, her mother couldn't handle the news that she found a better job than she could ever imagine after only being in California a few days. Missy knew her mother was banking on her getting scared and running back to Texas. Hearing that she actually had promise would solidify for Mary that Missy intended to never move back.

Resting her head on the arm of the sofa, a shadow hovered over her impatiently.

"You're in my spot."

Missy popped her eyes open to take in all six feet two inches of her twin brother, who stared down at her with a scowl. Sitting up, she scooted over to the other end of the couch.

"You always were too particular," she noted.

"And you always carelessly daydreamed wherever you decided to flop yourself."

Penny walked through the door, and Missy took note of the way she waltzed into the apartment without knocking.

"Hey guys! Missy!" She smiled brightly. "How did your interview go?"

"Great! I got the job!" Missy answered, smiling back.

"Yay!" Penny jumped and clapped her hands together. "We should go out and celebrate."

"Penny," Sheldon scolded her. "Today is Thursday which is always Giacomo's Pizza Night."

"So let's dine-in," she suggested.

"But Thursday is also Vintage Video Game night and we're playing 007 Goldeneye, which technically isn't really vintage but what is life without some whimsy?" Sheldon released a breathy laugh.

Penny cocked her jaw as she stared at him for a second, "I'm sure Missy doesn't care to play that game, sweetie."

"Well, I already ordered, and since it is a cause for celebration, I even let Missy decide on the toppings one of the pizzas," Sheldon nodded his head with a proud smile.

"Wow, her very own pizza!" Penny exclaimed in mock elation.

Sheldon frowned, "Sarcasm?"

"There's no pulling a fast one on you, is there?"

Missy watched the back and forth, a smile pulling up her features slowly, "It's alright. If we get too bored, we can always just go over to your place, anyways."

Penny grinned conspiratorially, "Where we can have some celebration wine!"

Penny sauntered over to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She noticed Leonard standing at the counter, mixing something in a bowl. Grabbing a bottle, she turned back to look at his handwork.

"Whatcha making?"

Leonard seemed startled by her presence. Did he even notice she came over? Penny grinned suspiciously at him as he darted his eyes around guiltily.

"Oh, just some onion dip," he smiled at her. He then licked his lips as his eyes returned to Missy from across the room. "I figured what with Missy getting a new job I should do something for her. So um, yeah," He sighed dolefully. "We don't entertain much."

She patted his shoulder encouragingly, "I'm sure she'll appreciate the gesture."

Her touch pulled him from whatever kind of trance he had entered the past few days, and he met her eyes over the black rims of his glasses. Penny drew her hand away, unsure why he suddenly looked at her in this way again. Wanting to push the attention back to Missy, she continued.

"So, Sheldon's sister is pretty cute, isn't she?"

Leonard blushed at her words, stirring the dip more vigorously as he looked down at the bowl, "Oh, I guess if you like that type. You know… tall…" Penny's attention pulled towards the front door opening, but she still heard Leonard's faint declaration, "and perfect."

"Hey, nerdizzles!" Howard announced as he and Raj entered the apartment carrying the pizzas, "Your delivery, Madam?" Bowing, he presented one of the boxes to Missy. Sheldon rolled his eyes, removing the box from Howard's hand and taking the others from Raj.

Raj leaned over to Howard and whispered in his ear. Howard nodded his head once and turned his attention to the group. "Raj would like everyone to know that he has just signed up as a participant in a pharmacological study that tests a new drug for pathological shyness."

"Oh, that's great, Raj!" Penny exclaimed as she worked her way through the kitchen to get plates for everyone while Sheldon meticulously organized the boxes on the counter. "I'm guessing you haven't started yet."

Raj shook his head and then leaned over to Howard to convey his next thought.

"He says that it'll take a few days before he can start, but soon he'll be able to talk to you ladies without the need of alcohol."

"Just the need of pharmaceuticals," Sheldon quipped back.

Penny swatted his shoulder.

"Hey!" he cried, rubbing the spot. "You know I bruise easily!"

Missy grinned in fascination at the exchange. It still confused her why this woman was with her brother, but whatever was going on; she could tell she was beginning to like her.

Everyone settled on the couch. Missy made room for Penny in the middle and Sheldon returned to his spot, holding a plate of pizza since he insisted on being the first person to grab his slices as to avoid contamination from everyone else's hands. Leonard sat on the leather chair, staring longingly at Missy while holding his individual cheese-less pizza box. Raj stood by the bookcase behind Missy's head, also staring down at her and trying to disguise his interest with an inconspicuous stance. Howard went for the more direct approach, leaning upright against Missy's side of the sofa so that his bright red derriere and prominent package (which Penny suspected he stuffed with a sock before coming over) were just at eye-level for Missy.

Penny watched as Missy darted her eyes between the three men, looking like scared prey caught between unintentionally harassing predators. Slapping her hands on the tops of her thighs, Penny made a quick decision, "Missy, I'm going to get my nails done. Would you like to come with me?"

"God, yes," she replied, standing up with Penny as they made a quick dash for the door. "Bye guys."

"Bye!" "Bye, Missy!" Howard and Leonard chimed in together. Sheldon opened his eyes wide in alarm.

"Wait, Penny!" he frantically set his plate down on the coffee table and darted from his spot to the doorway. "I would highly recommend you do not go to one of those establishments. They're known to be riddled with fungal growth leading to the spread of Tinea pedis."

Penny stared back at him, mouth agape.

"Athlete's foot."

Rolling her eyes, Penny replied, "So?"

"So?  _So_!" folding his arms, he stepped further into the hallway, "I think that because…" he darted his eyes towards his sister who stood just a few feet behind Penny, watching the exchange intently. "Because you're now a viable and consistent member of our social group, I think it's prudent that you avoid dragging in any microorganisms on your hands and feet considering your contact with me." Sheldon blinked and shook his head as he corrected himself. "With us."

Grinning up at him, Penny took a step forward, invading his personal space much more than he was comfortable with his sister's judgmental eyes staring back at them.

"We're not really going to get our nails done. We're just going to get away from the apartment for a while because the guys keep ogling Missy," soothingly, she reached out and rubbed his forearm.

Licking his lips, Sheldon conceded to the change in plans, "Well, considering that I ordered entirely too much pizza now with you and Missy leaving, I assume you will return eventually to eat your share? You know how I detest unnecessary left overs."

Patting him on his cheek, Penny pulled away, "Sure sweetie. You can even put them in my fridge if you want."

"That would be adequate," he nodded as Penny lead Missy down the stairs.

Sheldon turned around and entered the apartment, stepping in on an argument.

"So what! You already have Penny," Howard insisted.

"How do I have Penny? In what universe do I have Penny?" Leonard rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling.

"So can I have Penny?"

"Hell no!" Leonard lurched back; appalled that Howard would even suggest such a thing.

Seething as he listened to this debauchery, Sheldon towered over the three as he approached, "None of you "have" Penny."

Howard threw his hands in the air, and Leonard tried to catch eye contact. "Sheldon, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Feeling rather violent towards the homunculus at the moment for the possessive way he referred to Penny, Sheldon questioned whether talking alone with Leonard was a smart idea at the moment. Sighing begrudgingly, he replied, "I suppose so."

* * *

Popping the quark out of a wine bottle, Penny poured two glasses and handed one to Missy.

"To your new job!" she announced as they clinked glasses. They both took a long slip and sighed.

Penny gestured over to her couch and the two women sat down.

"Thanks by the way. For saving me back there."

"Oh, no problem," Penny waved her off. "Trust me, been there. They are overbearing at first but essentially harmless."

"So you went through the same thing?"

Penny nodded her head and laughed, "Oh yeah. When I first moved in, I swear it was like they acted like they had never seen a girl before."

"Even Shelly?"

Penny paused with the wine glass pressed to her lips. Pulling it away, she raised her eyebrows, "Excuse me?"

"Sheldon," Missy insisted. "Was he also gaga over you?"

"No!" Penny released a high-pitched nervous laugh, "No, no. Sheldon? No, he's always been a perfect gentleman, and if anything stand-offish."

"So is that why you started sleeping with him instead of the others?" Missy kept a straight, innocent face as she lashed out the question.

Penny's jaw dropped, her pink lips forming a round "o" as she stared back at Missy. "He… he told you about that?"

"No," Missy grinned back at her mischievously. "But you just did."

Penny froze, trying to figure out what she just walked into. Missy covered her expanding smile with her hand, giggling to herself proudly. Noticing the lightness of Missy's reaction, Penny's relaxed her shoulders, shaking her head and letting out her own tittering of laughs.

"God," Penny hugged her stomach as she tried catching her breath. "How did you know?"

"Neither of you are very good liars," Missy swirled her wine before taking a sip. "You can't keep your hands to yourself, always finding excuses to touch on him. And Shelly doesn't like touching. Not even really from our Mama. So it's weird to see him react so calmly to you. Plus he can't keep his eyes off of you."

"Really?" Penny tried stopping the explosive smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth but failed. Missy eyed her knowingly, nodding her head in response.

"Also, I saw him go into your apartment my first night here, and he didn't come back until early morning."

Penny felt her face glow and she placed her palms over her cheeks.

"I guess this is supposed to be a secret?" Missy inquired.

"Yeah," Penny nodded. "I mean. I guess. I don't even know, really. He wanted to keep it on the down low because I guess he doesn't want the guys teasing him and he thinks it'll upset Leonard."

Missy narrowed her eyes, "Leonard? Why would it upset Leonard?"

Penny shrugged, "He has a crush on me, and I kind of sort of rejected him a while back when he asked me if I wanted to go on a real date with him. You know men and their egos."

Missy rolled her eyes, "More than I care to. Leonard will be fine anyways. He might be sweet on you, but he hasn't exactly been discreet with his interest in me. Not that I'm interested back. I think I'm done with men for a while. I'm just saying, I think Leonard is probably interested in any pretty girl at this point. Another will come around."

Penny nodded, "I was kind of hoping his new infatuation with you would make him lose focus."

Missy studied Penny's disappointed posture, which prompted her to ask her next question, "So what exactly is this thing you have with my brother? You're dating?"

Propping her elbow on the back of the couch, Penny turned her body so that she fully faced Missy. She sighed deeply before responding, "I'm not sure. I mean, when this thing first started, he said he wanted it to just be "friends with benefits" because he wanted to experience sex or something."

"Hold up," Missy held her hand out in front of her. "You mean Shelly was a virgin before this?"

Penny nodded her head, "Yeah, you didn't know?"

Missy opened her eyes wide, "Well, I kind of just assumed that at some point while he was away getting all those fancy degrees there was some girl he at least rolled around in the hay with a bit."

Penny choked out a laugh, "Nope, he told me sexual relationships never interested him before."

"Until you?"

Penny bit her lip.

"Well, isn't that just what every girl wants to hear?" Missy teased, noticing the bashful reaction out of the usually bold and extroverted woman.

Trying to suppress another smile Penny looked down at the couch cushions as her chest filled with warm, ticklish air. She considered Missy's observation and the empowerment she felt over the last few weeks while she explored this side of Sheldon with him. Penny's shy joy did not go unnoticed by Missy, and she began connecting the dots.

Gasping, Missy grabbed Penny's forearm, bringing her attention back to her. "Oh my god! You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Penny had a denial ready at the tip of her tongue, but when she tried to speak, she felt like a fish out of water, gulping for air as she stuttered.

"You are!" Missy pointed her finger at her. "You so are! And you have it bad!"

"Please don't say anything to him!" Penny pleaded with her, finally finding the ability to speak. "I haven't told him this."

Missy shook her head as she tried to digest the information, "So you're only just fooling around, then?"

Penny stared back at her forlornly, "That's how it's started… but I can't tell if it's different now. I know it's different for me. I just can't read him. He asked for us to be exclusive the other day…"

"Exclusive fuck buddies?" Missy exclaimed, disbelievingly. "That's dating, honey."

"You don't have to tell  _me_  that," Penny gestured to herself. "But I don't think Sheldon quite understands. I'm not sure. And I don't want to spring all of this on him in case he realizes he made some big mistake."

Missy snorted thinking of her loony brother and wondering if he really grasped what he has gotten himself into. She gazed at Penny's insecure frown and hoped that whatever this was, Sheldon would man up to his feelings by actually recognizing he had them. She didn't know much about Penny, but she had a good intuition about her. And Missy had learned through her life to always trust her intuition.

"Was Sheldon always like this?" Penny asked after a long silence. "You know, wary of personal relationships?"

Missy nodded as she traced her memories as far back as they would go, "Always. Even in our family, he didn't really belong. It's that brain of his. It scares most people – even our parents."

"He mentions your mother a lot. Not so much your dad," Penny offered what little knowledge she had gathered from Sheldon in the few months of knowing him.

Missy shook her head, scoffing, "No, I don't imagine he would. Our dad- he always took a special interest in Shelly."

Penny waited patiently for Missy to continue, seeing the faraway look in her eyes as she pulled up memories.

"Daddy, he was an alcoholic. And he also was a simpleton. Our Mama's side is the one with the smarts. Not Shelly's smarts. No one knows where that came from. Mama goes back and forth sometimes on whether it's from Jesus or the Devil. I'd rather go with Shelly's idea that he is just a mutant of some kind, and he's making do with the best he can. But Dad, he never could handle Shelly being so different from him. He couldn't understand it. He always took a special interest - trying to make a man out of him, throwing away his toys and comics." Missy paused when the hitting played through her brain. "George – that's our big brother – he tried a lot to deviate dad's attention, but he wasn't around much once he got older. I tried protecting Shelly as best as I could because I was always stronger than him. And he didn't really like picking on me because I was the girl." Missy skipped over the part where all that changed when she started becoming a woman.

"Anyways, because of that and the way he was picked on so much by kids, I don't think he knows what it means to really connect with someone. No one has ever tried before. Maybe he's trying with you. I'm shocked as hell, to be quite honest."

Penny cleared her throat, "What about your mother? He seems close with her."

"I wouldn't call it close. Shelly's a Mama's boy, and it's all they know of each other. I think cause he left home so young. Mama never really saw him grow up into a man, and Shelly gladly takes her babying. She doesn't really know how to interact with us much now that we're adults. George has basically become our father – drinking and running around with loose women. Sheldon's obviously here in California and everything about him has always confused her. And me," Missy paused a moment, considering. "Well, I guess I'm trying my hardest to not turn into her."

"I get that," Penny sat up straighter. "It's the whole reason I moved out here four years ago. I wanted to be something more than my mom and aunts back home. I didn't want to waste away out there and not take any chances."

Missy sheepishly stared at the bottom of her empty wine glass. She didn't ever really drink, but she knew that one glass of wine was not the only factor making her so loose lipped. Something about Penny's presence pulled these words out of her. Words that she couldn't say to her friends back in Texas, and certainly not her mother.

"That's why I left too. Things…" she paused for a moment, finding the best way to word her next few sentences. "My boyfriend hit me a few times. I knew it would get worse, so I left. I didn't want to be like my mom, just living through his angry phases."

Penny gave her a sympathetic look and added, "I know what you mean. My last boyfriend, Kurt, I was with him a long time. He was always verbally mean, and for some reason, I took that. But he started getting rough with me sometimes, and it wasn't until then that I started getting uncomfortable."

Missy met Penny's eyes, "Yep. Mike was the same. He was a real charmer out in public but behind closed doors, he had no problem letting his true feelings be known."

"Well, even though I haven't had too much success out here, there is something about this place that you can just pick up from nothing and start over," Penny clinked her glass to Missy's.

"That's what I'm hoping."

* * *

"Sheldon," Leonard argued. "You are really being unreasonable."

"Am I?" Sheldon held up a slice of pizza from the pile he was wrapping for Penny and Missy, "Eat a slice of this cheese pizza without farting and you can sleep with my sister."

Missy crossed her arms, stepping inside the apartment and clearly overhearing the wrong side of this conversation.

"Oh really?" she haughtily called to him, causing the boys to whip their heads in the direction of Missy and Penny.

Noticing the classic Missy frown that Sheldon knew would lead to some serious damage to his testicles, he vocalized his mistake, "Oops."

"Shelly, can I speak to you for a minute? Alone?" her voice dropped to a deadly register at the end of her demand as she sauntered towards his bedroom.

Sheldon caught Penny's eyes and she returned his plea with an unhelpful expression. Dropping the pizza onto the plate, he followed after Missy muttering, "Why does everyone want to suddenly talk to me alone? Usually no one wants to be alone with me."

Penny stared after him as she walked to the kitchen counter. His words reminded her of the images of scared, lonely boy-Sheldon with no friends and suffering through mercilessly bullied. Her conversation with Missy only confirmed her fearful suspicions about the early life of Sheldon Cooper.

Looking to Leonard, he averted his eyes from her, clearly embarrassed by what she walked in on.

"We all make mistakes. Let's move on."

* * *

"Alright, Shelly," Missy began as she closed his bedroom door behind them. "I'm not even gonna ask why you're pimping me out for cheese, but since when do you care about who I sleep with?"

"Truthfully, I've never considered it before, but it has been pointed out to me that resting in your oocytes is haploid DNA of great potential."

Missy shot him an incredulous look, "What?"

Sheldon sighed and dramatically rolled his eyes, "It's a wonder we're even related."

"Explain yourself, Sheldon!" Missy ordered, taking a step closer to him as he instinctively backed away.

"No need to get testy," Sheldon sat down on his bed. "Though rare, it's possible that whatever genetic recessive trait that attributes to my brilliance could also be carried in your DNA. If combined with the DNA of a sperm donor with abnormally high intelligence as well, it's possible that your future offspring may become an even better version of myself. A Sheldon 2.0. Taller, smarter, and less prone to freckling."

"Why does it matter how smart  _my_  future children will be? Shouldn't you be more concerned about your own?" Missy folded herself next to him on his mattress.

Sheldon released a breathy laugh, shaking his head at the ludicrousness of that scenario, "Missy, I have no interest in reproducing."

"Really?" Missy pointed her glare directly into his eyes, "Because it seems with how much you and Penny are getting it on, that you're well on your way."

Sheldon's round eyes bugged out of his head as his mouth shrunk into an anxious pucker, "She… she told you about that?"

"No," Missy gave a smarmy grin. "But you just did."

Sheldon balked back at her, confused momentarily by what she meant. Retracing his words, he discovered the corner she had pushed him into.

"Drat!" He exclaimed. "You're always doing that to me!"

"And you're always falling for it," she cheekily added.

"Now look here," she pulled his attention back to her. "If you want to suddenly turn into the brother that actually cares about me again, fine, bring it on. But I decide who I'm gonna sleep with and when. Not you. I can sleep with all of your friends and have a kid from each if I choose, and you have no right to have any say in that."

Sheldon frowned at her ridiculousness, "Please, Missy. If you want to live up to the stereotype of our low-income roots, I would advise you to choose three paternal lineages that aren't those of the likes of Leonard, Howard, and Raj."

Missy sighed, turning her head up towards the ceiling.

"And what do you mean a brother who actually cares about you?" Sheldon's voice heightened in pitch. "Have I not opened my home to you in your spontaneous moment of crisis? Did I not secure financial security for you so that you can live independently?"

Missy looked down at her folded arms, guilt pressing hard on her shoulders, "Yes, and I am grateful for that. Don't get me wrong. I was meaning a brother who cares about my personal life."

Sheldon continued staring at her in confusion, "Why would you want me to concern myself with your personal life?"

"I don't know!" Missy replied defensively, "Cause we're family."

"You've never offered any personal information before."

"And you've never asked."

"How am I supposed to know if this is the first time you're informing me?" Sheldon pestered.

"Because I'm your sister and you're just supposed to want to know these things about my life!" Missy's voice rose, her frustration and anger coloring her cheeks.

"What things? Other than whom you're sleeping with since you've made it blatantly clear I should not concern myself with  _that_  aspect of your personal life."

Missy rubbed her fingers against her forehead, trying to calm herself. This didn't feel at all like her comfortable conversation with Penny earlier. How was it that she could so easily tell a stranger but not her brother? A brother who used to imagine magical, alternate worlds where they could escape their abusive home together as an unstoppable sibling duo? Even as children, she had to spell out these things for her socially inept twin, but it was so much easier to find patience with him when he wasn't so far away and emotionally removed. Missy told Penny many half-truths this evening, one being that Sheldon was always the family outcast. While that was true, and most of the people they knew treated Sheldon like a frightening, alien child, Missy always tried to be the bridge between her brother and the rest of the world. But when he left for school, she was left standing, holding onto their past and still reaching out for him only to never have him return.

Breathing in deeply, Missy stood up from the bed and spoke softly as she exited the room, "Just forget it."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Sometimes, Penny had awful ideas - getting back together with Kurt, buying that third pair of shoes online last month, and having sex without a condom with Jordan Jones in his 1973 Chevy Nova when she was sixteen (which lead to her first pregnancy scare). Hell, maybe this whole thing with Sheldon would blow up in her face, and she would put it in the same category. But for now, she committed herself to the idea of developing something with the most bizarre man she never thought she'd fall for, and the first step in doing that was throwing Leonard a surprise birthday party.

It hit her while she overheard the guys discussing the upcoming date at the Cheesecake Factory. Apparently Leonard grew up in some whack-job house where they didn't celebrate birthdays. The idea made her so sad for the poor guy that she started thinking of a way to celebrate his special day even though he insisted he didn't mind. It occurred to her that she could kill two birds with one stone and give Leonard a surprise party along with the best present ever – a girlfriend. Of course, Penny couldn't guarantee that the women she decided to invite would actually end up dating Leonard, but maybe they would serve as a good distraction so that he could see there were other fish in the sea other than herself and Missy.

Of course, Penny's motivations were not purely selfless. She hoped that if Leonard moved on and started dating other women, Sheldon and she could come out with their relationship, albeit however unconventional it was. While on one level sneaking around had a sexy naughtiness to it, she knew she wouldn't have the patience for long.

It wasn't that she thought sneaking around was necessary. They hadn't even discussed telling the guys yet. She went on only one-sort-of-date with Leonard, but she could tell by the puppy dog looks he gave her that his ego and pride would be hurt. He would somehow interpret it as her "choosing Sheldon" over him. She knew how men operated, and she had been on the wrong side of possessiveness once too many. Also, she really didn't want to hurt Leonard. He was a nice guy and a sweet friend to both her and Sheldon.

She still couldn't say exactly where Sheldon was emotionally in all of this. He seemed eager to see her, and while yeah, they spent most of their time going at it like teenagers, Penny felt like there was something more to it than that. He didn't try to find ways to hide her like most fuck-buddy behavior. He tried to get her to hang in the apartment with him and the guys whenever he could. It had become well known amongst everyone that the seat to Sheldon's right was "Penny's spot" whenever she came around. She also noticed this certain way he would look with such intensity at her that it sucked Penny's breath right from her lungs. She didn't know what those looks meant, but no man who had ever only been interested in her sexually looked at her that way before.

Maybe she really did love that whack-a-doodle.

Penny never anticipated this. She didn't know what to expect when she started messing around with Sheldon, but falling for him was the last on the agenda. She wasn't ready for a relationship, she rationalized to herself often. She enjoyed sex and was in a place in her adult life where maybe a sex-only relationship could work. But then Sheldon wormed his way into her heart with his wide-eyed innocence about the world. Though he could be a giant, condescending jerk half the time, he had this untouched way of seeing the world that drew her in. So many people were tainted with cynicism - even herself. But there was something so refreshing about Sheldon's approach to his surroundings, even if sometimes she wanted to smack him upside his head.

Penny wanted to push whatever this was as far as she could. She knew opening her heart had only paved the way for disaster in her past, but Sheldon wasn't like any other man she had met before. Perhaps, that's exactly what she needed.

Watching from the peephole of her apartment, she timed Leonard's departure to pick up the Thai food. Sneaking across the hall, she entered 4A to find everyone scattered in different activities. Howard and Raj were huddled over some kind of magazine, close enough to satisfy Penny's bromance theories about the two. Missy held a copy of the paper in her hands, looking like she was highlighting what Penny assumed were available apartments for rent. Sheldon sat at his computer, like always, absorbed in his own little world. She kept her eyes trained on him as he darted his own gaze towards her, a flash of something she couldn't pin point appearing in his eyes as he took in her figure standing in the doorway.

"Okay," she said as she hopped into the apartment quickly. "We're going to throw Leonard a kick-ass surprise party for his birthday on Friday." She grinned triumphantly as she announced her plans.

"What do you mean "we"?" Sheldon asked as he stood from his seat. "Leonard stated he didn't want a party, and I respect his wishes."

"Leonard doesn't know what he wants!" Penny argued walking after him as he headed to the kitchen.

Following closely behind, Howard spoke, "Did you say party?"

"Yes, Howard, it is a "boy/girl" party," Penny waved him away. "But none of the women are for you. They're all for Leonard."

"Leonard?" Howard asked in shock. "Why only Leonard?"

"Because," Penny chirped, trying to conceal her motives. "I just think that Leonard deserves to hook up with someone. He's nice and there is this one new girl at my work who I think he'd be  _perfect_  for!"

"What about me?" Raj spoke up from his seat on the couch (since now with the marvels of modern medicine, he found the ability to speak in front of women). "I'm nice."

"Of course you are, Raj," Penny insisted.

"I'm nice too!" Howard pulled her attention back to him. "Do I not compliment you every day?"

Penny shot him a deadly, still look as she spoke, "Telling me a little more cleavage never hurt anyone and that my ass must be jelly because 'jam don't shake like that' are not compliments."

Howard shook his head as he laughed to himself, "Okay, I think we need to review the definition of 'compliment' because…"

Clearing his throat, Sheldon interrupted the conversation, "As usual, we're deviating from the initial trajectory of this conversation which is how we're  _not_  throwing Leonard a surprise birthday party."

Throwing her hands in the air, Penny turned to face him with the full force of her confrontational attitude, "Why not?"

"Two major points," Sheldon set down his drink on the counter and crossed his arms, squaring off with her. "Point one – the last time you threw a party, Leonard and I were nearly beaten up by your behemoth ex-boyfriend, Howard broke his septum, and after a night of unprotected coitus with one of your drunken friends, Raj whined incessantly for an entire week about the possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease."

Missy raised her eyebrows questionably at Raj as he looked down at the floor, ashamed. "I don't," he clarified. "Just so you know."

"Point two," Sheldon continued. "And the most important point. Leonard doesn't want a party. And I don't see why we should subject him to that."

"Subject him?" Penny asked sardonically.

"Yes, subject him. I applaud Leonard's parents for having the decency to not put him through what I had to go through as a child."

"Here we go," Missy called from her seat on the chair. Sheldon glared at her momentarily and continued.

"Other than having to wear silly conical hats and being forced to socialize with germ-infested, half-wit children who teased me mercilessly, birthday parties were a tireless charade of pretending to enjoy the presence of others when I'd rather be teaching myself differential calculus or re-watching all the TOS episodes of Star Trek."

"Not to mention," Missy snarked from her seat. "That Shelly had to share his "special day" with yours truly. And we all know how Shelly doesn't like to share."

"That's only because you insisted on princess themes and wouldn't let Meemaw makes me a cake in the shape of the Enterprise," Sheldon whined, his voice carrying a childish edge.

"Meemaw couldn't make that stupid spaceship and you know it. She always made us her famous strawberry cake, and it's not my fault that the pink icing just goes so well with princess themes," Missy grinned impishly.

Before Sheldon could shoot back a rebuttal, Penny held up her hands, standing in between the two siblings.

"Alright, Sheldon, I understand that you have scars that no non-professional can heal, but regardless, we're throwing Leonard a party," she gave him her "I-mean-business" look.

"I'll have no part of this," Sheldon stubbornly fought her.

"Fine," Penny smacked her tongue as she lashed out her next words, "Here's the deal. You either help me throw Leonard a surprise party or so help me, I will go in your bedroom and unbag all of your most valuable mint condition comic books and on one of them, and you won't know which, I'll draw a tiny happy face… in ink!"

Sheldon narrowed his eyes in a genuine look of confusion, "You can't do that. If you make a mark on a mint comic book it's no longer mint."

Penny looked up at him with feigned innocence, "Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?"

"Well of course I… oh!" Her intentions suddenly dawned on Sheldon. Gritting his teeth, he turned to the guys, "I have an idea, let's throw Leonard a 'kick-ass' birthday party."

Returning to her, he glared as he tried to come up with an explanation of how she always managed to put him in such vulnerable positions, making him bend to her will. Penny grinned back, showing her teeth as a genuine smile overcame her features, a rush tingling through her body from their heated encounter.

* * *

 _Knock, knock, knock_.

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

Sheldon's voice quietly reverberated through her apartment as he tried to stay silent enough so Leonard couldn't hear him but of adequate volume so that Penny would be alerted to his presence.

While he had a ritual of requesting entrance into her apartment, Penny had her own ritual of pulling him in by his arm and bringing him to her level so she could kiss him fiercely on the lips. Though the action no longer took Sheldon by surprise, he always stiffly responded at first, letting her press her lips to his before sliding a hand behind her back and kissing back. The kiss always ended as the door shut closed behind them.

"Hi," Penny sighed, smiling contently up at him as she leaned into his body.

"Hello," his hand involuntarily squeezed her hip as he released his hold on her and stepped forward into the apartment. "Wolowtiz and Koothrappali should be here soon to commence with the celebratory preparations, and Missy will borrow Raj's car later to pick up the cake."

"Thank you for organizing that for me, sweetie," Penny grinned as she held onto his wrist and followed him to the center of the room. Sheldon looked down at her curiously as she stood on her tip toes to place a few kisses on his neck just below his ear. He pulled away from her bashfully, and Penny marveled at the way she could still make his cheeks redden.

"Penny, what part of Wolowitz and Koothrappali will be here soon did you not understand? We cannot lose ourselves in amorous frivolity," he scolded.

Sucking his ear lobe into her mouth, Penny bit down on the soft flesh as she wrapped her arms around his neck and trapped him in her embrace. Sheldon shivered as she nibbled on him. His brain seemed to short circuit and thoughts of Howard and Raj soon left his mind.

Penny worked her mouth across his jaw until she captured his lips again. Of all the things she loved doing with Sheldon, kissing him was still her favorite. His lips were a perfect, smooth texture as she ran her tongue across his thick bottom lip. When he took control of the kiss, he responded to her as he did with all things in his life – methodically and thoroughly. He ran his fingers through her hair, grasping the back of her head as he opened his mouth to her. Their tongues met somewhere in between as he pivoted his head to kiss her more deeply. Penny loved the pressure he put into kisses like this. While she enjoyed the slow and delicate sweeps of his lips on hers after sex, something primal and naughty rose from her belly when he grabbed her and pressed his body into her. Pushing on his hips with hers, Penny tugged at his bottom lip as he pulled his face away. Just when she thought Sheldon may have had enough, he dove down into the crook of her neck, sucking on the skin in the crevice of her shoulder. Penny sighed happily, goose bumps trailing her arms and back as she turned her head to the side to give him access to the full expanse of her neck. He took advantage of the new terrain, dragging his lips along her neck while biting at her skin with just the right pressure that he had learned made her mewl.

Penny felt his hardness pressing into her stomach as her back hit the back of the couch. Turning her body, she pressed her ass into his erection and wrapped her arms over her head to touch the back of his head, keeping his lips planted on her neck. Sheldon groaned at the sensation of his shaft sliding between the round curves of her backside. Grabbing ahold of the wide flare of her hips, he pressed himself into her, grinding into her as she moaned her pleasure. He continued sucking the soft skin of her shoulder into his mouth as their hips moved together in a slow rhythm.

Sheldon's mouth moved to the back of her neck where he found the tie of her halter impeding his way. Tugging at the loose end, he untied her top, the straps falling down her front to reveal her breasts to the open air of the apartment. As he bit down on her trapezius muscle, he slid his hands across her chest, palming the weight of her breasts as his thumbs ran over her nipples. Penny gasped at the contact, responding by grinding herself even harder against him.

The sound of a strange two-two-one knocking interrupted their soft moans of delight. Sheldon stood ramrod against her still holding her breasts as he listened closely to the order of the knocks.

"That's probably them," Penny sighed, grabbing the straps of her top.

Shaking his head, Sheldon latched his mouth on her pulse point, responding between nips, "That wasn't the secret knock."

The knocks repeated.

Giggling Penny pushed him away gently, "Who else would knock like that?"

Sighing, Sheldon pulled himself away from Penny feeling tingly and frustrated. Straightening his clothes as Penny retied her top and fixed her hair, he adjusted himself and marched over to the door.

Opening just a crack, Howard and Raj stood expectantly holding wrapped gifts that he could only assume were for Leonard.

"That isn't the secret knock. This is the secret knock," Sheldon proceeded to knock in a two-one-two series as demonstration.

"What difference does it make?" Howard asked staring back in annoyance.

"The whole point of a secret knock is to verify the identity of an unknown person behind the door," Sheldon shook his head at them.

"Sheldon," Penny called, satisfied that she didn't look like she was just about to get sexed up. "Just let them in."

"You're lucky this isn't a nuclear reactor," Sheldon opened the door for them, allowing access to Penny's apartment.

Grinning, Penny clapped her hands together as she saw the gifts in Howard and Raj's hands.

"What did you get the birthday boy?"

Howard explained enthusiastically, "Well, Raj got him an awesome limited edition Dark Knight sculpture based on Alex Ross's definitive Batman, and I got him the amazing autographed copy of the Feynman lectures on physics."

"Nice," she nodded her head. "I got him a sweater."

Raj and Howard exchanged questioning glances with each other.

"Is it a Batman sweater?" Howard asked.

"No."

"Green Lantern?" Raj offered.

"No!" Penny frowned, beginning to feel insecure about her gift. "It's just a fun sweater! It has a bold, geometric print."

"Is it the geometry that makes it fun?" Sheldon asked, still standing near the door.

Penny stared at him with her mouth gaping open. Her embarrassment getting the best of her, she narrowed her eyes, glaring in his direction.

"What did you get him, Sheldon?"

"Nothing," Sheldon deadpanned as he moved over to the couch to sit in his spot.

"Nothing?" Penny asked in disbelief. "You can't just not give your roommate a present on his birthday!"

"Firstly, your use of double negatives is an abhorrent depiction of everything that is wrong with the public education system," Sheldon rolled his eyes. "And secondly, yes I can. The entire institution of gift giving is illogical."

"Why not?" Penny sat down next to him as Raj and Howard waved their arms behind Sheldon's back, trying to indicate to Penny not to ask.

"The process of guessing what material possessions one wants or needs as a means of surprising the individual is illogical and cumbersome on its face. Why should I go through the trouble of trying to know about your personal needs when you know exactly what you need? As well as the reverse - people shouldn't be expected to just guess what it is that I want, and anytime they try to do so, I end up with unnecessary purchases by these individuals that I have no desire of owning."

Raj and Howard hung their heads down avoiding Penny's eyes as she looked to them for help. Sheldon's speech did not sit well with her.

"Sheldon, friends give each other presents. It's how we show the people we care about that we care about them," she explained.

"I accept your premise. I reject your conclusion," Sheldon turned away from her.

Penny sighed, an anxious ball swirling in her gut.

Howard leaned over the couch, hovering in between Sheldon and Penny's heads. "Here, let me help you out. Sheldon, it's a non-optional social convention to buy your friend a present. Especially if you're going to a birthday party. It's considered rude not to."

Sheldon pondered this for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders. "Huh, fair enough."

Penny gaped at Howard.

"He came with a manual," Howard nodded his head proudly. His faced blanched in surprise as he noticed something just beyond Penny's ear. Laughing, he reached his hand out to her neck, "Is that a hickey -?"

Penny swatted at his hand before he could touch her, covering her neck with her hand. "Alright, Sheldon, we have…" she checked her watch. "… two hours before this party starts. We're going to the store."

Picking him up by his arm, Penny dragged Sheldon towards the door.

"Wait!" Howard called to her. "What are we supposed to do?"

"Um," Penny frantically tried to think. "You distract Leonard and get him out of the apartment for a few hours. Raj, once they're gone, help Missy set up for the party? Okay? Bye!"

Raj and Howard stared after them as Penny darted away, closing the door behind them.

"What just happened?" Raj asked.

"I don't know," Howard narrowed his eyes. "But something is up with those two."

Raj nodded, "I'm not sure who looked twitchier, Sheldon or Penny."

* * *

On their way to the mall, Penny stewed in anger over Sheldon's words about gift giving while he attempted to follow her orders to not mention her check engine light for the duration of the drive.

Penny tried to think of what it was exactly about Sheldon's little speech that didn't sit well with her. She understood Sheldon to be a literalist. She also understood that he questioned every social custom or nicety to find a logical root of origin. But something inherent in his ideas on gift giving had Penny wavering on the possibility of them forming an actual relationship with each other. If Sheldon found the practice of gift giving stupid - what chance was there that he would want to make her happy just for the sake of it?

"Sheldon," Penny cleared her throat once the anxiety became too much for her. "This is about more than just a non-optional social convention."

Quirking his eyebrows, Sheldon looked over at her questioningly, "How so?"

"Well, one of the ways that we show people we care about them is by making gestures to make them happy. Like giving presents on their birthday. Even if it isn't something they exactly wanted or needed, it's a gift you put thought into and it's a way of telling them, "Hey, I've been thinking of you and I want you to have this."

Sheldon thought hard about her words, taking a moment before responding, "But Leonard and I have an established roommate and friendship agreement between us. We both understand that we are each other's best friend. I don't think presents will say more than what is in writing."

Penny shook her head, "I'm not just talking about Leonard right now. I'm talking about all the people in your life that you care about."

"You mean like my mother and my Meemaw?"

"Yeah," Penny nodded, hoping she had found her "in".

"I also have a well-established policy for both of them on all gift-giving holidays such as Christmas, their birthdays, and Mother's Day that is equally reciprocated by them."

Penny shook her head.

"I just mean that you need to consider how other people feel. It's not just about money or 'material possessions'. It's about considering another person and showing them how they might be special in your life," Penny could hear the emotion rising in her voice.

Panicked, Sheldon kept his wary eyes trained on her. "I don't understand why you're bringing this up. We're driving to the store right now to buy Leonard a present."

Reaching her brink, Penny gripped her steering wheel, "Just forget it, Sheldon."

Sheldon sat quietly, pondering the situation.

"If presents are important to you Penny, we can establish a routine annual gift giving policy," Sheldon offered, hoping this was the solution.

"No, Sheldon. I don't care about getting presents," Penny gritted her teeth.

"But you just said -…"

"Sheldon! I know what I just said. Let's just drop it," Penny said with finality.

Sheldon quietly stewed as he tried to decipher the meaning behind Penny's inquiry and obvious signs of distress. She talked about gestures to let people know you hold them in high regard in your life. It wasn't an issue only involving himself and Leonard. She personally did not care for presents.

Revolving these facts around his mind, Sheldon spoke up, "While I may see the point that giving presents on special holidays and personal days may be an indication of the worth that a person means, I still don't think it surpasses a verbal or written understanding between two parties of the function they serve in each other's lives."

Penny sighed.  _Don't I freakin' know it_.

* * *

Missy organized the kitchen counter with carefully placed chip bowls surrounding Leonard's chocolate cake. A sharp hissing sound called her attention over to the couch where Raj stood dejectedly, staring at a deflated balloon.

"Do you need help over there?" She asked him.

"I just don't understand how you tie these things," Raj shook the bag of balloons in his hands. "My streamers are breathtaking. The "Happy Birthday" sign is symmetrical and suits the feng shui of the room. These stupid balloons just won't cooperate!"

Grabbing the bag from him, Missy patted him on his shoulder, "There, there."

Raj grinned shyly up at her, "Sorry. I suppose I got a little carried away. You know what they say about Indians. We have a passionate nature and a hot temper."

Missy smiled back at him, "I thought that's what they said about Latin guys."

"Tomato, ta-mah-to," Raj waved his hand at her.

Missy pulled out a balloon and stuck the rubber lip in her mouth. Blowing forcefully, the balloon stretched wide and she filled it to capacity. Raj watched, enchanted by the display.

Missy tied the balloon expertly and handed it to Raj, cheekily commenting as she wiggled her fingers at him, "It's all in the tips and the lips."

Raj gulped, picking up his bottle of beer for a little extra support.

* * *

After an hour and a half of threatening Sheldon and striking deals with Howard, Penny left the mall waving off the security guards who begrudgingly shook their heads at the pair as they walked to the parking lot with Leonard's new 802.11n wireless router.

* * *

Howard lay drearily in the hospital bed, feeling his face slowly shrinking from the massive swelling he just experienced.

His cell phone dinged beside him and he lifted it up to the one eye that wasn't sealed shut.

**Penny: Where r u?**

If Howard had the dexterity to text, he would write something smart like he was stuck in a hospital bed and she and two of her hottest friends could come kiss it better. Or, if this wasn't all to keep Leonard out of "the know", he would just ask him to tell her to hold her horses. He couldn't do either so he settled for grunting and dropping the phone on the bed beside him.

"Damn it!" Leonard exclaimed, checking his own phone in annoyance.

Howard mumbled out a "What?" through his swollen tongue.

"Looks like the bubble boy in Copenhagen didn't make it."

Howard tried to convey the series of harsh expletives he was shooting Leonard's way simply through his watering blue eyes.

His cell phone dinged again.

**Sheldon: I thought you should know that your failure to keep to your end of the bargain in this futile attempt at a surprise party will cost you a strike. Not only do I have strangers sitting in my spot, but Penny is forcing everyone to stay until you get here.**

Howard dropped his phone again, staring up at the ceiling.  _Crap, now I have to take the class again._

* * *

"Penny," a small, ringing voice called up to her as she tried to think of ways to spice up the party. "I just thought you should know that I'm leaving now."

Penny turned her eyes in surprise to her newest co-worker, "No! Bernadette! You can't leave! The birthday boy isn't here yet, and I really wanted you guys to meet!"

"While I appreciate the consideration, my mother doesn't like me staying out past eleven." Waving goodbye, Bernadette collected her purse and left the apartment, making a wide curve around creepy-condom guy who was in a heated debate with their short-order cook about the appropriate temperatures to cook meat.

Penny grumpily looked down at her phone again. She still hadn't received a response from Howard. She was going to beat that oompa-loompa within an inch of his life.

"I think if you hold these people here any longer, it could be considered a hostage scenario," Missy spoke up beside her. "Besides, I think Shelly is doing his fair share of scaring everyone off."

Penny looked over at Sheldon and his offensive, condescending stance as his mouth moved a mile a minute.

"Oh god," she groaned and covered her face. "Look, could you please keep people here just a little bit longer. I'm going to handle your brother."

Missy shook her head as Penny busted her way through the angry mob starting to form around Sheldon as she grabbed and dragged him to the hallway.

Looking across the room, her eyes met Raj's as he grinned back at her.

* * *

Sheldon started up as soon as she closed his door behind them.

"Penny, you're in my bedroom. People cannot be in my bedroom."

"Oh, shut up. I've seen you naked and you've been inside me. I think that changes things," she snapped back, pressing her back against the door.

She was sure if the lights were on, she would be able to see the red hue of his anger and slight embarrassment over the brashness of her comment. Still holding his arm, she pulled him towards her, speaking low and deadly.

"Why are you being such a pain in the ass today?"

"Me?" Sheldon squawked, minding to keep his voice down. "You're the one who came up with this cockamamie plan. You knew I didn't want any part of it!"

"Ugh!" Penny seethed. "Why can't you just cooperate for once! Once! You seriously have to make everything a struggle!"

"I would cooperate more if you would simply ask nicely and refrain from bossing me around."

" _I'm_  bossy?" Penny shrieked.

"I think it's fairly obvious."

Of all of the pot-calling-the-kettle-black moments, this one took the cake. Penny wanted to punch him. Just lay one right in his face. She could just barely make out the outline of his head hovering over hers as their angry pants mingled with each other. A swirling mess of raw heat sunk from her chest to her center, her walls throbbing along with the fast pace of her heartbeat.

Pulling him down aggressively, Penny sealed a harsh kiss on his mouth as she backed completely against the door. Caught off guard and completely oblivious to Penny's radical shift in emotions, Sheldon braced his hands on the door behind her head as he let her suck his lip into her mouth and bite down hard. He sensed an antagonistic goading in her nip so he pressed himself firmly against her, pinning her to the door as he took control of the kiss. Dunking his tongue deep into her mouth, he sucked back on her lips firmly, bringing one of his hands to her hips as he squeezed. Penny moaned into his mouth, surrendering just a moment to his firm lapping as she rubbed herself against the growing hardness straining against his zipper. Not wanting to be bested, she snaked her hands beneath his shirts, scratching her nails over his abs. He shivered at her touch, easing the intensity of his mouth on hers as her fingers undid the button of his pants. As she palmed his hard shaft stretching his underwear, Penny felt her wetness pool into her panties. Pulling down the material by the elastic band, she freed his erection from his briefs and squeezed her hand around his dick. As she pumped him, he released her lips, resting his forehead to the cold wood of the door.

Gaining some composure, Sheldon tore off his two shirts from his back, realizing this wouldn't be some momentary petting in the dark and he really hated soiling his clothes. He pressed his lips against hers again, thrusting into her hand as she worked over him. He slipped his hand down the front of her pants and trailed underneath her panties. His fingers felt the slickness of her lips as he stroked her from top to bottom before rolling the pad of his middle finger up again to find her clit. Circling the nub, he pressed down forcefully, forcing her to gasp away from his mouth to voice her approval. Sheldon loved the breathy noises she made in these moments. Her pouty mouth hung open, high pitched, soft cries escaping with every rotation of his finger. Though a tight squeeze, he worked his wrist down further and plunged two fingers into her tight center, her wetness allowing for an easy and smooth glide.

Using the door as leverage, Penny bounced ong his long fingers penetrating her opening. She could feel his elevated pulse throb against her thumb on the underside of his dick t as he swirled her wetness until he found her G-spot. Picking up her pace, she squeezed his head and flicked her wrist every ascent up his shaft. Sheldon responded by digging into her harder as he pumped his fingers roughly. They continued like this for several heartbeats, breathing heavily into each other's mouths as their lips hovered in the small space between them. Penny tried bucking against him, but found their standing position frustrating to reach her overall goal. Capturing his lips in a searing kiss, she pulled away quickly and buried her face into his neck as she let out a throaty command, "I want you to fuck me."

A sharp rip tingled up Sheldon's spine at her profanity. While he understood sex to be referred to in this context, he was not one to appreciate the use of that word. But hearing it roll off of Penny's tongue as her walls clenched around his fingers and her hand pumped away at his erection, Sheldon grew impossibly harder in her grasp. Sliding his fingers out of her, he unbuttoned her pants and quickly pulled them down her legs. Planting a kiss on her thighs, he peeled her panties away from her, wishing he could see her dewy lips in the darkness of the room. He stood back up and kicked off his own pants. When he pressed his body against hers, he noticed that somewhere in the process Penny had removed her top, and they rubbed against each other, skin to skin.

Penny used his shoulders to pull herself up the door, wrapping her legs around his hips. Fortunately, Sheldon reflexively grabbed her bottom, holding her in his firm grasp. As their tongues danced in sloppy kisses, Penny bucked her hips into his, sliding her folds over his long length. Sheldon pulled back, allowing for her hand that had worked its way between them to guide his tip inside her. He pierced her hard and deep, and Sheldon gasped at the tight entrance she provided at this angle. Willing all the strength he could to hold her up, he pressed her even harder into the door as he thrusted. Penny grasped at the short ends of his hair, switching between moaning and crying out into the darkness of his room. The close press of his body on hers rubbed against her clit with delicious friction. She could feel and even hear her ass smacking into the door as he drove into her. A small part of her brain wondered if the entire party could hear them, but the unexpected orgasm that hit her in that moment drove those thoughts away.

She came hard and fast on his dick, constricting her legs around him. Sheldon had been trying to ward off his own climax to keep up his pace but always found that the tight clenching of her walls around his stiff cock pushed him over the edge every time. It was better than any stroking he had ever mastered. An uncharacteristic groan escaped from his mouth as he shot three rhythmic times with his release. Penny cradled him in her arms, rubbing the taut muscles of his back as he shivered out his orgasm. Not able to hold her up any longer, Sheldon's arms gave out and Penny caught herself as she slid down the door and onto her feet. Petting the damp ends of his hair, Penny peppered kisses on his face as he tried to catch his breath.

Sheldon grabbed Penny once he had control of his arms again, pulling her securely against him as he buried his nose into her hair. Penny giggled, forgetting why she had felt so angry with him just a few minutes ago.

"Of all the formulas I've derived, none of them are able to predict you," he murmered, his breath tickling her ear.

Penny sighed, lounging on the door once more as she kissed the top of his chest.

"I think I'm now experiencing the evolutionary benefits of oxytocin release during mating," Sheldon said more boldly, his voice carrying a curious edge.

"What are you talking about?" Penny asked smiling up at him.

"Oxytocin is considered to be the 'social' hormone and is theorized to be important to form social bonds between individuals– whether it's the maternal bond after birth or pair-bonding between sexual partners in biparental species. In highly adept social animals like bonobos, all the members of the group frequently engage in sexual acts with one another to boost group morale and settle disputes."

"Your point?"

"I don't feel angry at you anymore despite remembering your hostile and confusing accusations prior."

Penny released a shaking laugh, "Yeah, I know. I got a little crazy."

Rubbing his palm over her arm and shoulder, Sheldon asked, "Is there any particular reason this party has you stressed to the point of yelling at me?"

Penny shook her head, "I just wanted this to go perfectly, and it's not."

Warily, Sheldon continued his questioning, "You have some kind of emotional investment in Leonard's birthday?"

"Sort of," she wondered how much she should reveal to him. "I wanted to introduce him to some of my coworkers. Maybe get him interested in dating again. I don't know. I just figure if he is distracted, then maybe you and I can eventually tell the guys so we don't have to sneak around so much."

Sheldon relaxed his tense shoulders, "An interesting hypothesis. If you had originally informed me you had ulterior motives that would benefit our own needs, I would have been much more apt to help with these activities."

"I just wasn't sure that you would care. You know. Telling them."

Sheldon stood up straighter, peering down at her with a confused twitch to his brow, "Well of course I would care. It concerns me as well. And I must admit, sneaking around and being forced to lie is doing terrible things to my digestive system."

Penny shook her head, "What?"

"I couldn't poop yesterday."

"Oh god," she pushed him playfully away from her, leaning over to pick up her clothes. "That isn't exactly the best pillow talk, sweetie."

"We're not on a pillow. We're by my door."

"It's a figure of speech. It means conversation you have after sex," she explained.

"Oh, I see. Well, my point is that I think it would be beneficial to us both to tell the others soon." He began pulling on his pants as well.

Penny studied him for a moment under the low illumination of the streetlights shining into his room. While she would like to hear more from him, the anxiety she had been holding from her personal confessional eased a little. At least they were moving in the right direction.

After fixing their clothes, they exited Sheldon's bedroom, slowly treading down the hallway. When they reached the living room, no one else from the party remained except Missy and Raj who both appeared a little green.

"So you're the one who gave Penny the hickey!" Raj exclaimed, pointing at Sheldon.

* * *

Climbing up the stairs, Leonard mustered up the courage to propose to Howard what had been on his mind for a while.

"You know, before you got all swollen up, I actually thought that you guys might be throwing me a surprise party."

Howard rambled, "Oh, it's your birthday? I had no idea it was your birthday. Wow, what a lousy way to spend your birthday. Well, it's all over now."

Leonard eyed Howard carefully, "There is a party… isn't there?"

Howard looked sheepishly at the ground, "Maybe…. Are you mad?"

"Mad?" Leonard scoffed. "How could I be mad? You risked your life because you care about me!"

"Yeah," Howard puffed up his chest. "That's why I did it."

Leonard stared at the door of 4A, happiness swelling in his heart as he thought of the lengths his friends went to surprise him. While he didn't have a lot of experience with birthday parties, he felt like this would turn out to be the best one ever.

"Alright, here we go," Leonard turned the knob. "My first birthday party."

Opening the door, he found the room decorated but empty with Raj passed out on the floor, shirtless and holding the Rock Band mic in his hand. Turning his head, he looked at the couch and his stomach dropped at the sight.


	17. Chapter 17

_Previously..._

_"Alright, here we go," Leonard turned the knob. "My first birthday party."_

_Opening the door, he found the room decorated but empty with Raj passed out on the floor, shirtless and holding the Rock Band mic in his hand. Turning his head, he looked at the couch and his stomach dropped at the sight._

* * *

Chapter 17

Lying on the couch, spooned together were Sheldon and Penny, wrapped presents half hazardly clutched in their embrace. Sheldon stretched the entire expanse of the couch, his long legs reaching the end so that his feet needed to be propped up on the arm rest. Penny scrunched herself in, curled up against Sheldon's chest where his arms were wrapped protectively around her. Bile rose in Leonard's throat even as his brain worked wildly to try and come up with a possible theory as to why Sheldon and Penny were even touching, much less sleeping with each other.

"What the frack?" Howard's voice projected through the empty room, startlingly the two awake.

Penny sat up quickly, feeling disoriented in the strange place she fell asleep. Looking up, she saw Howard's gaping mouth and wide eyes, looking worse for wear with a swollen lip. Leonard stared at her and Sheldon, his face expressionless.

Sheldon popped up shouting, "Danger, danger!" Penny reflexively put her hand on his arm, calming him to the situation. The familiar way she touched him churned Leonard's stomach, and he mentally noted that Sheldon still hadn't pulled away from her as if this was all one big mistake.

Sheldon's eyes darted towards his two friends and then he noticed the situation he and Penny were in. At some point while sitting closely on the couch after Raj and Missy had retired for the night, Sheldon and Penny cuddled together, enjoying their closeness while they tried to stay up for their friends. They must have fallen asleep together. Sitting up straighter, he gently pushed at Penny who scooted over quickly as they adjusted on the couch.

A wave of embarrassment and disappointment hit Leonard as he examined the guilty way that Penny arranged herself, knowing fully well what he and Howard assumed about their embrace and not stepping forward to correct those assumptions. All the light touches and smiles that Penny had given him over the past few months flew through Leonard's mind. He thought she might have liked him. He thought she just wasn't ready for a relationship. He thought a lot of things about her – about them.

Turning his gaze towards Sheldon, anger bubbled in his stomach as his best friend and roommate robotically situated into his spot. He looked completely nonchalant about what Leonard and Howard just walked in on, and that hurt Leonard's heart even more. At least Penny had the decency to act like this situation was awkward. Sheldon appeared to think he was just caught napping and not like he had his arms wrapped around their neighbor – a neighbor Sheldon knew Leonard pined for.

Feeling like he had seen enough, Leonard shoved his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders as he stalked off to his room.

"Geez guys," Howard sarcastically drawled out as he watched Leonard leave. "Couldn't pick a better time to snuggle on the couch than this?"

"I don't know what you're referring to," Sheldon replied.

"It's Leonard's birthday."

"Look," Penny stood up, waving off Howard's judgmental stare. "Sheldon and I have been seeing each other for a while…"

"No shit," Howard scoffed.

Penny gritted her teeth, "We have been meaning to tell all of you but we were just finding the right time."

"Yeah, well, really, I don't think any time would have been the "right" time." Howard walked over to Raj, kicking him awake.

"Oh, Missy…" Raj groaned as a satisfied smile stretched his lips. Opening his eyes, he stared up at Howard's stern expression. "Hey, dude. Sheldon was the one who gave Penny the hickey."

"Yeah, I pieced that together, buddy," Howard pulled up on Raj's arm, helping the drunken man to his feet.

Penny's stomach turned as Howard shot her a cold look while half carrying Raj to the door.

Anger bubbled inside of her. She could feel Howard judging her, and he had no reason to.

"Why are you angry with us?" Penny snapped at him, clenching her fists into tight balls.

Howard rolled his eyes as he opened the front door, "Go ask Leonard."

Watching the door close behind him, Penny frantically pulled at the ends of her hair. She turned to look at Sheldon who was examining his present.

"Sheldon!" Penny exclaimed. "Do you understand what just happened?"

Sheldon gave her an incredulous look, "Of course. Howard just carried Raj out and told us to ask Leonard about his feelings."

"Howard is mad at us," Penny corrected, sitting down on the couch next to him.

Sheldon screwed his eyes together, "Why would he be mad?"

"I don't know!" Penny threw her hands in the air. She bit her lip as she looked down the hall where Leonard disappeared. Rubbing her face with her hands, she thought to herself how stupid it was that she felt so anxious for doing nothing wrong.

"I'm going to leave. Maybe you should talk to Leonard. Tell him everything that has been going on," Penny patted him as she stood up.

"I suppose I will in the morning," Sheldon sighed, looking at the time. "He did leave quite dramatically."

Sighing, Penny bent down and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Goodnight, sweetie. Let me know how everything turns out."

* * *

Having his circadian rhythm thrown off the night before, Sheldon woke up later than usual, missing Doctor Who. Rubbing his eyes, he walked out to the living room to find Howard, Raj, and Leonard carrying backpacks.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked.

Leonard looked over at him, anger scrunching his face, "Yes."

"Where?"

"Vegas," Howard called to him, strapping his bag into place.

"Why?"

"You know why?" Leonard snapped, turning his eyes away from Sheldon.

"Are you still upset from finding me and Penny asleep last night?" Sheldon inquired, putting his body into Leonard's field of view.

"Of course I'm still upset!" Leonard threw his hands in the air. Raj and Howard stepped backwards, giving the explosion some room.

"I don't understand. Are you upset that Penny is no longer sexually available?" Sheldon seemed genuinely confused and that only fueled Leonard's anger.

"I'm upset that my best friend went behind my back and started – well, whatever your  _thing_  with Penny is – behind my back!"

"We are currently in an exclusive friends-with-benefits paradigm where we satisfy each other's sexual needs as well as participate in platonic activities," Sheldon clarified.

"God," Leonard covered his face, the mental images worse than he imagined last night. "You don't even have a deal! You never talk about sex. You make fun of the rest of us for chasing after women. You made fun of us for being attracted to Penny!"

Sheldon held his mouth in a hard line, "I don't know what you mean by a "deal" but I have never stated that I wasn't a sexual person. I just have never concerned myself with those attractions or acted on them until now. And it's really not any of your business."

"It's my business because you knew I liked her, and you stabbed me in the back by going after her!" Leonard shouted. His harsh volume unsettled Sheldon and he could only stare back at Leonard in response.

Lowering his voice, Leonard shook his head, "Friends don't do that to each other, Sheldon. You don't go after a woman that your best friend is practically in love with. And if you are going to, you at least tell him so he doesn't make a fool of himself in front of her and everyone else."

Frowning, Sheldon experienced the uncomfortable sting of being out of the social loop as he had felt many times before, "This was never stated in the Friendship Clause of the Roommate Agreement."

"I never thought you would do something like this!" Leonard began shouting again. "And not everything has to follow social protocol or be in writing. There is a code amongst friends. An unspoken but understood code. And you broke it."

"I see," Sheldon's calm voice wavered. "Which are you more upset about? Having sexual relations with Penny or not telling you about it."

"Both."

Sheldon nodded his head, "Well I apologize for being unaware of this rule and not informing you sooner about our own agreement."

Howard finally spoke up, scoffing, "But you won't apologize for sleeping with Penny?"

Sheldon's nostrils flared. "I was not malicious with my intentions. It didn't occur to me that it needed to be stated. I also didn't intend for anyone to find out or for it to continue as it has."

"So what?" Leonard snapped. "Are you dating? Are you in love with her?"

"We have not discussed dating." Sheldon corrected. "As I said, we're in an exclusive friends-with-benefits paradigm that dictates…"

"So this literally was just about getting your rocks off?" Howard shook his head. "You don't even care about her."

"I don't understand the expression or the question. Penny is my friend and sexual partner. She…"

Cutting him off again, Howard shot at him, "So you screwed over Leonard just to hook up with a chick?"

Squeezing his fists together, Sheldon stepped towards the tiny man, "Stop interrupting me and Penny is not 'a chick'. She's Penny. Our neighbor, our friend…."

"Your fuck buddy," Howard squared his eyes, daring Sheldon to get angry with him.

"Guys," Raj whined next to him. "Sheldon said he was sorry. Can't we just stop this?"

"No," Leonard spoke. "It's too late. What's done is done. Forget about the friendship clause. We're just roommates now."

Sheldon met Leonard's cold eyes, white hot panic ripping through him, "Is this an appropriate reaction?"

"Yes," Leonard tore his eyes away. Sheldon looked to Howard who was still shaking his head and Raj who averted his gaze, not wanting to take any sides.

"Very well," Sheldon cross his arms behind his back, a familiar, old loneliness creeping inside of him. "I'll make the necessary arrangements."

The front door opened, revealing sunglasses clad Missy rolling in a travel-sized suitcase. "Alright, I'm ready for Vegas, fellas! Thanks for letting me borrow your car, Leonard." She threw his keys at him.

Sheldon took the momentary distraction to leave the room. Missy stared after him, concerned.

"Is he alright?" she asked.

Leonard and Howard said yes in unison, neither of them having informed Missy yet about the events of the night prior or the motivation behind this trip.

"Thanks for letting me come with you guys," she sighed happily, pulling her sunglasses to rest on the top of her head. "I've never been but have always wanted to go."

"Let's hit the road," Howard ushered everyone forward, making their way out of the front door.

Missy stayed a moment, staring into the apartment and feeling suspicious. Shaking off her doubt, she shrugged her shoulders and closed the door behind her.

* * *

Penny dragged her feet up the stairs of 2311 Los Robles, coming home from her shift at the Cheesecake Factory. Her stomach had been turning all day from the anxiety of last night. She hadn't spoken with Sheldon yet about how Leonard reacted to the whole situation. When pulling in, she noticed that Leonard's car was gone so she decided to take a chance and knock on Sheldon's door to get the scoop.

He opened the door stoically as always, his eyes pinpointing on her face. She could see tiredness in his blank expression, and the slight crooked tilt of his mouth told her that he was worrying over something. Stepping closer to him, Penny peered over his shoulder, wondering if anyone else was there.

"Leonard isn't here, if that's what you're wondering. Raj, Howard, Missy, and he all went on an impromptu trip to Vegas, which I'm presuming the motivation was to get away from me."

"Oh, sweetie," Penny's heart pounded for him as she wrapped her arms around the center of his waist. Burying her head into his chest, she let out a long-needed sigh. This is what she needed all day. Even through all her rationalizations that she did nothing wrong, the impeding drama of the situation made her sick from the anticipation. Feeling Sheldon's sturdy body against hers washed away her worries through one long exhale. His hesitant fingers traced her spine and the light pressure of his face hovering at the crown of her head reassured her.

Sheldon had been revisiting the encounter with Leonard the entire day. He postulated, calculated, and reworked through the conversation that took place. He had little answers of what to do to maintain his friendship with Leonard. Forming social bonds proved difficult enough. He never had to deal with the task of preserving them.

Penny lifted her head from his chest, trailing her hand over his shirts to his neck. Cupping his face, she pulled him down for a soft kiss. She held him in place after their lips broke apart, resting his forehead to hers. Sheldon settled under her touch, pressing his palms fully to the curves of her waist. A distant part of his brain noted how the tightness in his muscles relaxed in her presence, but the rest of Sheldon took a moment to enjoy the calm silence that came from her kiss, still rendering his mind mute.

After several long moments of standing in the doorway this way, Penny kissed him again, sliding her mouth purposely across his jaw until she found his lips. She had to brace her forearms on his shoulders as he responded in kind to her, matching her movements evenly and with equal force until Penny felt like a puddle of melted goo. Pulling away, she blinked her eyes at him until her knees gained back their strength. Pushing him backwards, she guided them into the apartment.

"I guess this means Leonard is pretty mad, huh?" Penny asked as she turned warily to face him.

Closing the door behind them, Sheldon's jaw tensed again, "Yes, he severed the Friendship Clause of our Roommate Agreement."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we are no longer friends," Sheldon walked past her, heading for the kitchen.

Penny's stomach dropped, "He's really that mad?"

"Yes," Sheldon fished for a bottle of water from the fridge. Standing up, he twisted the cap off, avoiding her gaze. "It appears that I have violated an integral part of friendship. Leonard thinks I have betrayed him by keeping our engagement a secret. Though whether the more important factor behind his angers is because our relationship is carnal in nature or I failed to enlighten him on the developments of my personal interactions with you, I cannot comment."

Bracing herself on the bar, Penny looked lost, "So he didn't say why he is so upset?"

"He said that friends do not "go after" women that the other one is infatuated with without their knowledge. Howard agreed with him on this, and Raj offered no counter argument."

Penny shook her head, "Well maybe he just needs to blow off some steam. I'm sure he won't end your friendship over this."

Sheldon shook his head, staring intently at his water bottle, "Leonard has never been this upset with me, and I can't say that we are the most amiable roommates or friends. We've fought before, but never has he gone as far as to avoid me all together and most importantly, sever the Friendship Clause."

Guilt crushed Penny's heart as she took in the dejection smattered on his face. Stepping closer to him, she lightly touched his forearm as she gravitated into his space.

"I'm so sorry, Sheldon," she spoke softly. "I never meant for this to happen between you two."

"Of course you didn't," Sheldon stated bluntly. "I was the one who initiated this situation in the first place. I am the one who has ties to Leonard."

Penny rubbed his arm, pressing her hips into his, "I'm still sorry."

Reaching up to touch his face again, Penny was taken aback by Sheldon grasping her wrist. He grabbed her forcefully at first, but once he noticed the surprised look in her eyes, his hold softened. Examining her hand suspended in the space between them, Sheldon leaned forward and placed his lips against the curl of her fingers. Penny held still as he paused for a moment, his face nuzzled into her open palm. When he opened his eyes to look at her again, she noticed a fiercer shade of blue burning back.

A whirlwind of emotions spiraled inside of Sheldon as her apology fell so easily from her lips. The day's anxiety came back to him again, and he tried calming the boiling with the cool touch of her hand to his lips. He stood there for a moment, feeling her slender digits tap against the side of his cheek as he considered the need to press himself into her. It wasn't the same kind of need that had him tingling from head to toe while caught up in the midst of his strange and chaotic attraction to her. This need resided deep in his chest. Simultaneously, he wanted to bury himself inside her and squeeze her body close. Though he had no evidence for such a conclusion, his prickling assumption was that while Penny was the problem with his current dilemma, she also served as the solution to ease him from his worry.

Grabbing for her, Sheldon captured her lips in a hard kiss. Penny noticed the awkward franticness to his movements, reminding her of the experimental stage in their relationship. She held him close as she kissed back, hoping that somewhere in that beautiful mind of his, he got the message that she was here for him in whatever way he would have her.

After long minutes of standing in the kitchen, squeezing and groping at each other's clothes as their heavy kisses grew arrhythmic; somehow Penny was being backed into the hallway. She allowed Sheldon to guide her across the apartment, worried that if she turned away for even a second he would break away from this new, emotional affection and revert back to his shell. Once her knees hit the soft cushion of his mattress, she pulled his body down on top of hers. Tongues tangled together as she back crawled onto his mattress. It occurred to Penny that while they did have sex in his room last night, she had never actually been intimate with him in his bed.

She could sense that Sheldon was getting lost in his head from the encounter, too alarmed by whatever he was feeling to focus on the moment. Penny pushed his face from hers as she stroked from temple to chin. Shushing his erratic pants, she continued her ministrations until she could feel his heartbeat slow against her breasts smashed between their bodies. Delicately, she kissed him once more, setting a slow and gentle pace. Sheldon responded by mimicking her movements, sighing the first time she rolled her tongue across his lip.

Penny peeled away his shirts as Sheldon focused his attention on the languid pace of their lips joining together. Once free, he ran his fingers against the zipper of Penny's hoodie. The rip of her jacket opening sounded harsh in the calm silence of his room. Penny raised her shoulders as he maneuvered his hands to remove the article of clothing. Sheldon settled his finger tips on the form fitting blouse of her work uniform. She bartended today, so her shirt had several buttons he had to undue to get to her skin below. Working down from her chest, he rolled the buttons out of their holes until the yellow cotton was splayed out around her breasts, revealing a lavender translucent bra underneath. Sheldon bent over and kissed each of her rosy nipples through the material, gently nipping them as he pulled his mouth away.

The rest of their clothes were removed in a similar slow fashion. In between removal of a garment, they returned to each other's lips, kissing and sucking until one of them grew so overwhelmed they had to return to stripping the other. Neither felt rushed by a chance that someone would come looking for them, or keeping to a quick, momentary opportunity to be alone. Penny felt for once free from the hovering presence of secrecy. Tracing circles over his shoulder blades, she kissed down his throat as she flipped him over on his back. The bare skin of his thighs pressed between her knees as she situated herself over him. She wanted to keep her mouth on him for just a little longer, so she took her time as she kissed down his torso. His erection rested against his stomach, and the hot velvet of his skin rubbed up her body as she made her way down his. Once her shoulders were parallel with his hips, Penny laid her body across the bed, hovering her face above him as she turned up her eyes to ask permission. Sheldon had watched her descent with hooded lids, remembering the way her mouth felt on him in the shower only a few weeks before. He had been hoping that this was what she had planned for him again. He twitched eagerly when their eyes met, and nodded his head before her unspoken question even registered.

Penny ran her tongue down his shaft in one long stride. He tasted salty but clean. As she licked her way up again, she wrapped her lips around his head, suckling on the firm but spongey tissue as her tongue swirled his pre-ejaculate in her mouth. Sheldon had kept his eyes glued to her, and she noticed his fist clenching in her peripheral vision. Sliding him in and out of her mouth, she wrapped her hand around his base, moving her mouth further until her lips met her fingers. She worked her hand and mouth together as she bobbed her head up and down. Using her tongue, she rubbed against the curved ridge on the bottom of his head, knowing he would be most sensitive here. Sheldon curled his toes and panted as he looked away. He could already feel his orgasm building, and while the memory of finishing in her mouth left him scandalized and breathless for days, he didn't want things to end this way.

Sheldon leaned forward, rubbing Penny's shoulders as he asked her to stop. Penny lapped at him once more before pulling off of him. As he fell back onto his pillows, she climbed over him once more, straddling his hips as she leaned over and nudged his nose with hers. Sheldon wrapped his fingers through her hair, pulling her down to kiss him. Penny wasn't expecting him to respond this way, but she didn't ask any questions and relished in the feeling of his tongue sliding across her own. As Sheldon squeezed her tighter, Penny sank down and rubbed her slickness against him. Her core tingled for his thickness and without breaking their kiss, Penny reached between them and positioned his tip against her opening. Pushing back, she moved slowly, moaning as her walls stretched around him. Sheldon's lips paused, still pressed against her own and grunting softly as she took him all the way inside. Once she reached his base, she sat up, bracing her hands on his chest as she rocked against him.

Sheldon watched his penis disappear and reappear as Penny began sliding him in and out of her passage. He reflexively moved his arms as he gripped her hips. Penny moved over him with a slow burn, bucking her hips with every rotation down. Though it was Sheldon's instinct to move faster, he let her keep this pace, losing sight of the end goal.

As the intensity of her movements built, Penny spilled over on top of him, her hair falling past her face as her hands held her above his head. Sensing her slow climb to climax, Sheldon released one of his hands from her hips and pressed two fingers against her clit. Penny cried out at his touch, sinking further until her breasts were heaving against his chest. She peppered kisses on his mouth in between her moans, finally squealing as she grinded down, her orgasm hitting her sharp and fast.

It took massive amounts of concentration for Sheldon to hold his own orgasm at bay through Penny's. As she came down, Sheldon flipped them over on her back, still encased inside of her. He sucked on her neck as he situated himself above her. Penny rubbed his shoulders and the back of his head, trying to catch her breath and prepare for the next round. As Sheldon pushed himself up on his arms, their eyes met in an intense stare.

Penny wanted to tell him in that moment that she loved him. The words danced on the tip of her tongue. It would come effortlessly and naturally. As impulsive as she was, something held her back. Sheldon's heart beat picked up as he stared into her eyes. He couldn't work through why his whole body felt like he had been prodded with a live-wire, but he didn't stop to analyze his reaction to her. Instead he pushed his hips forward and began pumping inside of her. Once her stare became too intense, Sheldon alleviated his building excitement by capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

Penny focused her mouth and tongue on his as her hips rocked in sync with his thrusting. As his pace increased, so did her suction on his mouth as she pushed her tongue firmly against his. Soon, Sheldon was slamming into her slick entrance, lost in his fury and anguish as his spine bent with the rolling intensity. His lips slid off of hers as he cried out into her neck, shooting inside of her as Penny grabbed his rear and pressed him closely against her. He collapsed, breathing heavily across her neck as his body shivered from the spasms still firing. Penny cradled his head in her hands as she kissed his ear.

Sheldon forgot to count the minutes as they lay there just like that. Twining one of his hands with hers, he sucked on the skin over her pulse-point as Penny rubbed lazy circles across his back. After a while, Penny joked that he was getting heavy, and he slid off of her only to have her wrap around him once more, pushing her face onto the center of his chest. Sheldon fell asleep after sometime of counting the strands of blonde hair flowing evenly across his pillow.

* * *

Sheldon woke up first, his body set to his predictable circadian schedule.

Instead of getting out of bed to tend to his usual Sunday morning routine, Sheldon stayed and watched Penny sleep, his thoughts filled with his analysis from yesterday's events.

The reasons behind Leonard's anger were not exactly what surprised Sheldon. Long ago, before he and Penny began this relationship, he had considered this code of ethics between male comrades. It was his entire motivation for keeping his sexual relationship with Penny a secret – along with the fact that at the time he reasoned their situation would not be long-lasting. But what Sheldon didn't expect was the intensity of Leonard's anger. He figured he would be miffed and most likely excuse Sheldon for his typical denseness about these circumstances. He even expected that maybe Leonard wouldn't talk to him for a day. He never anticipated that he would sever the friendship clause of the Roommate Agreement – effectively putting a business-like distance between them and destroying a seven year friendship.

The entire situation had Sheldon's stomach twisted in knots. He felt nauseated and frightened. Howard and Raj seemed to be taking Leonard's side which wasn't necessarily surprising either. They were always more loyal to him than they ever were to Sheldon. Leonard was their primary friend. Leonard was his primary friend. Leonard was the nucleus that held their group intact.

They had inquired Sheldon about his feelings for Penny to which he had no response. He kept reiterating the boundaries of the verbal contract between them to Howard and Leonard because it was the only thing he could fall back on to describe what had been occurring. Sheldon didn't know what friends-with-benefits were supposed to feel for each other. Was there supposed to be protectiveness? He felt appreciative that Penny was not around for the outburst of yesterday morning, worried that the anger would be directed at her. He felt stubborn about apologizing for having a relationship with her in the first place. To take back what had occurred between them seemed wrong in a way that Sheldon couldn't describe.

They had asked him if he was in-love with Penny, and truthfully, Sheldon could not explain what the term meant rhetorically much less apply it to his situation with her. Sheldon had witnessed many forms of "love" in his life. His mother loved his father even when he was at his worst and hurt her both physically and emotionally. His Meemaw spoke of his deceased grandfather with adoration about what a "good man" he was. Leonard claimed to love Penny even though they never were in a romantic relationship. So what exactly defined love? Was it the reverence one has for good people? Or the blind-devotion to stay with those even when they're bad? Or was it something you knew in an instant, like Leonard did the first time he laid eyes on Penny.

Sheldon couldn't say that any of those scenarios fit his relationship with her. Penny never hurt him to the point that his need to be with her had to be tested. He didn't hold her in a worshipping regard, and he certainly didn't feel compelled to capture her the first time he saw her. In fact, it was quite the opposite. His budding sexuality and attraction to her made him want to run in the other direction.

If Sheldon could find a label to describe what he and Penny were, he would gladly accept it. Sheldon needed things in his life to be organized and placed into their appropriate boxes. Leonard was his best friend and roommate. Howard and Raj were his friends and colleagues. Missy was his sister. Penny would have just been his neighbor and eventually his only female friend, but they crossed a boundary by introducing sex to the equation and nothing seemed to fit anymore.

The wavering stability of the relationships in his life left Sheldon fearing for the future. While he had spent many years alone, it was not a life he wanted to return to. Though at first he found Leonard hard to like, over the years they had developed a brotherly bond and a mutual understanding of each other. Despite the still pervasive reluctance on both Howard and his parts, he realized that he enjoyed the company of the engineer, even if he only had a Master's degree. Though Raj had a strange and deep bond with Howard, Sheldon liked that he was very easy to talk with, especially when it came to science and comic books.

And then there was Penny -vivacious, frustrating, and caring Penny. Sheldon had never had a friend like her before. Aside from the sexual component of their relationship, there were many things about Penny that Sheldon could not explain why exactly he enjoyed her presence. With all the other relationships in his life, he had a logical and constructed rationale for the purpose of these people and what role they served. Penny fit no patterns or roles. In theory she should be everything that he detested in a person, yet something about her personality was infectious. She managed to find a place in his world and despite how different she was, not only did he entertain the idea of tolerating her, but he had come to a point where he willingly sought out her company and affection, feeling a warmness for her similar to when he opened a new comic book for the first time or read one of his Meemaw's letters.

The sexual encounter from the previous night left a haunting impression on Sheldon's mind. He remembered feeling scared and vulnerable as Penny approached him in the kitchen, and then, so unlike himself, he begged her to erase his fears with a request in the form of a kiss. And just as he had come to learn about Penny's character, she opened herself up and took care of him in a way he never thought another person would ever do.

But Sheldon didn't feel comforted in that thought. The rawness from his loss of inhibitions last night left a prickling sensation running up his back. He could so easily do that again with her. Already he was breaking routine, just to watch as her chest rose and fell with the deep, steady breaths of her slumber. He broke his schedule for her, his calculated distance, his superior logic and his independence; because in this moment, the idea of leaving her side to think alone about the disaster of his friendships caused him more anxiety than relief.

It hit Sheldon suddenly how much he had slowly been changing since he first agreed to engage in this friends-with-benefits paradigm with Penny. Back then, he expected that only the exchange of mutual climaxes would be delivered by both parties. But somewhere along the way, his focus on pursuing this relationship with Penny left him open to her developing other functions in his life. Now she was the person he turned to when he was sick, the one he thought of as he woke up in the morning, the one he wanted to talk at even if she didn't understand half the things he said, and the one that slept soundly in his bed even though people weren't allowed in his bedroom.

She was also the only one standing between himself and his friends.

Sheldon thought about his life before Penny. He was content. He lived his life as he wanted to, and all he had were his work and his hobbies. Things were simple, lines were drawn, and people were kept at appropriate distances. The worst thing he had ever done to his friends was apparently annoy them with his talking. He hadn't ever betrayed them.

As much as Sheldon fought against the idea, this new revelation about the importance Penny held in his life brought on another discovery concerning his true intentions in deceiving Leonard. At some point when sex with Penny became more than just a testosterone filled need to spread his seed, he came to resent Leonard's crush on her. He didn't want to share her with anyone else, and that included having others know exactly what she meant to him.

Now everyone knew and in the process of finding out, he had hurt his longest and most loyal friend.

Sheldon never had friends before Leonard. He had colleagues. He had friendly acquaintances. But he never had someone look past his obvious extraordinary traits and not treat him like a freak for possessing them. Leonard also brought with his friendship two more friends so that even when the rest of the world isolated Sheldon, they were always there to engage him in insightful conversation or frivolous whimsy.

His friendship with Leonard was safe, stable and constant. He knew exactly what that kind of purpose it brought to his life. But his relationship with Penny was frightening and exhilarating, filled with highs and lows of an emotional tenor that he had never experienced before. His attempt to categorize his attraction to Penny had spiraled out of its boundaries again, leaving Sheldon as confused as ever as to what her presence meant to him.

Sheldon only had two choices to make. Either he would continue down this road with Penny, completely in the dark as to what would come, or disassemble their arrangement and erase his betrayal in hopes that Leonard would forgive him and they could continue with their friendship.

Nausea washed over Sheldon at the thought. It was similar to the anxiety he experienced the night he considered ending this with Penny after they first engaged in coitus, but drastically more intense. The logical resolve of his conclusion seemed to elicit a fearful emotional response only rivaled by his fear of leaving home for the first time at eleven.

Sheldon hyperventilated for several minutes, sitting on the side of the bed with his head between his knees. He couldn't let his emotions decide for him anymore what to do with his life. Once he collected himself, he pulled on his Saturday pajamas that he should have worn the night before. While pulling on his clothes, Penny woke up, freezing Sheldon where he stood.

"Hey you," she smiled at him as she rubbed his eyes. "Why are you getting up?"

"It's Sunday, Penny," Sheldon said, trying to keep his composure as he felt a panic attack hitting him again. "And you've already made me late for breakfast."

Penny sat up, furrowing her brow at him, "Hey, why are you being like that to me?"

A sharp pain stabbed into Sheldon's chest as he saw the worried look in her eyes. Frowning, he turned his eyes to the floor, unable to see her as he answered back.

"I think we should break off our friends-with-benefits paradigm."

His words slapped her across the face. Her breath sucked out of her lungs. She noticed Sheldon's twitching as he refused to take his eyes off the floor.

"But…" her voice quivered. "But why?"

Sheldon shook his head, turning his head so he looked inside of his closet.

"Our coupling has caused a rift in my friendship with Leonard. I have to take responsibility for my actions and set things right," he explained.

"Sheldon," Penny crawled forward, wishing he would look at her. "Leonard will get over it eventually. He'll have to especially if we stay together. Maybe… maybe if we showed him we are serious about each other…"

Sheldon cut her off, "I've made my decision. This is the only logical conclusion."

His finality cut through Penny's chest. Tears leaked from her eyes as she stared back at him. He couldn't even look at her. He stared into her eyes as he made love to her last night, and now he stared at a wall as he dismissed her. A hot rage filled Penny as a hollow voice echoed inside her head _: He's just like the rest of them_.

Violently flipping the comforter off her, Penny reached down on the floor for her clothes and started pulling them on.

"You can't just have sex with me like this and write me off like I'm nothing!" Sheldon winced as her voice cracked with tears. "I thought you respected me more than that!"

Sheldon almost crumbled at her accusation. Sucking in a breath, he responded, "This isn't about respect or feelings. This is about what I have to do to return things to normal."

"What normal, Sheldon!" Penny cried out, tears streaming down her face. "The one where I'm just out of your life completely?"

A dark fear settled over both of them as they thought of the possibility.

Avoiding the question, Sheldon looked down at his watch on his wrist, "I am now twenty five minutes late for breakfast, and people can't be in my bedroom."

Penny's heart shattered as he opened the bedroom door. He really was going through with this. All of this time she thought he might at the least care about her, and she even entertained the idea that maybe one day he'd love her too. But he was choosing his friends over her, his life of solitude over her; just like everyone always chose something or someone else over her.

Covering her mouth, Penny picked up her jacket and ran out the door, trying to muffle her sputtering cries. Sheldon could hear her outbursts though, and he wiped his hand across his cheek as a tear fell past his lashes.

Penny made it to her apartment in seconds, the cold air feeling harsh against her skin. Closing the door behind her, she slammed her back into it, sliding down the frame as she released a fresh stream of sobs.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Penny nursed a bottle of wine while lying on her couch and watching old, sappy movies on her television. It had been a few hours since Sheldon did what he did, and Penny went immediately to her first and only friend – alcohol.

She wanted to curl in her bed and drown in her blankets, falling asleep into a tear-stained oblivion, but her bed held too many memories. Her couch did as well, but Sheldon never held her all-night here. It wasn't here where she asked him about his life goals and he lectured her on the origins of the universe and his dreams of wanting to win the Nobel since he was a boy with his legs brushing across hers and his lips moving steadily against her ear as she tangled her fingers through his. There were fewer ghosts here.

Penny clutched her pillow as she silently sobbed staring at the TV. She had managed to get herself from buzzed to fairly drunk. The pain in her chest burned now with a dull ache, and her racing thoughts of memories and frantic self-loathing had dissipated. She tried losing herself in the programming, but she couldn't concentrate. Once she garnered focused, her mind would spin out of control again, his words echoing in the back of her head. She'd think of his cold stance, edging closer to his closet as he wouldn't even look at her. That still hurt the most.

Once her panic subsided, she would consider the situation for what it was. She knew Sheldon fairly well at this point. She knew going into this that he had never been in a relationship, didn't ever intend to be, and when he presented this opportunity, he had a specific kind of relationship in mind. She thought out of all people, she could handle this. She thought he was too kooky, too naïve, too strange and smart for her to ever fall for. She fancied herself a mentor, a more worldly and experienced woman who could handle sex without emotions. She thought Sheldon being different would make her pattern with men different. But it was the same and he was the same. He saw her as disposable and he didn't love her the way she loved him.

Penny thought about the night before, the way he moved inside of her as his lips pressed into hers. She thought about her overwhelming need to tell him how she felt. She wondered briefly if it would have changed anything. Would this understanding have prevented what he did to her this morning? Or would it have come earlier, their perfect moment shattered by his disgust because she broke all the rules? Penny's heart ached at the thought and she grabbed for her bottle again.

Her depression weighed down on her, holding her into place on the couch. Her face was sore from her swollen eyes and cheeks. Her body rattled beneath her blankets as she cried, the storm of emotions swirling inside of her too much for her to hold inside. Curling tighter, she tried holding herself together, focusing her eyes on the people slow-dancing on her screen.

* * *

Sheldon sat in the only place that made sense – his spot. Though this was his 0,0,0,0, he gained little comfort from the corner of the couch. He couldn't stop thinking about the tears in Penny's voice as she yelled or her harsh sobs as she left the apartment.

He went through his routine woodenly. While he never gained any particular joy from his schedule, it brought him a sense of serenity and accomplishment on a day-to-day basis. Where his overall goal in life was to bring a source of knowledge to humanity that would forever stamp his name down in infamy, his daily schedule pushed him along this path in a way that he could make it through each day without being crushed by the pressure of it all. Today however, he moved with emptiness in his chest. He couldn't attribute the sensation to any emotion that he knew of, nor did he understand the possibility of physically feeling a hole in his body that did not exist. After a few failed attempts at trying to get some work done on his white-board, he opted instead for sitting in his spot, contemplating the events of this morning.

From his understanding, he and Penny entered into a friends-with-benefits paradigm that by definition meant that there would be no emotional attachments between them that breached a platonic bond. However, Penny's response to his termination indicated that on her end, she was experiencing a highly emotional reaction. The tears that fell from his eyes also told him that he was as well. He felt nauseated and shell-shocked the moment it was happening, and it wasn't until Penny had slammed his front door that he noticed his face was wet with the tears streaming down his face. Sheldon had wiped his eyes and stomped towards the kitchen, preparing his oatmeal as he tried to push down his reaction. Once he sat down and spooned the moist oats into his mouth, his stomach lurched and he tossed the contents into the trash.

He tried calming himself in the shower, but as the hot water beat down on his shoulders, all he could smell was Penny's floral, sweet scent beading off his skin. He remembered how her blonde hair darkened as she stood beneath the spray, giggling into his shoulder when Leonard almost caught them. Toweling off, her smell followed him back to his bedroom, where his sheets and comforter were still messy from their activities the night before. Sitting down on the bed, he buried his face in her pillow, breathing her in. His throat clogged with the welling sadness that crept up his chest, and he sat up quickly, jumping off the bed. Robotically, he quickly pulled his clothes on and tried to ignore her smell and his room for the rest of the day.

So Sheldon sat in his spot, trying to forget her but only able to think of her.

The guys and Missy returned in the late afternoon, none of them looking like a group that just got back from a fun night in Vegas. They dragged their bags behind them, holding their heads down as they entered the apartment.

Sheldon stood up promptly; folding his arms as he mentally went over his speech once more that he had prepared for Leonard's return.

"I see you have all returned from your exploits in the "City of Sin". I would ask how your trip went but from my understanding, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," Sheldon avoided eye contact with everyone in the group as they tiredly stared back at him.

Sheldon continued, "Since I have you all in one room, I should just say this now. Leonard," he finally looked up from the ground at Leonard's face. "I extend my deepest apologies for offending you and betraying the covenant of our friendship. I have thought a lot about what you said, and I realize now that I acted inappropriately by pursuing Penny and keeping our relationship a secret from you. As a show of my commitment to this friendship and the importance I place on loyalty, I have severed the verbal agreement between Penny and me and we will no longer be with each other in a context that is not strictly platonic."

Howard and Leonard stared at Sheldon with open mouths. Sheldon's voice rang with sincerity as he bowed his head ending his speech. Missy darted her eyes from Sheldon to the two men in front of her as she tried to piece together what just happened.

Leonard cleared his throat, feeling put on the spot, "Well, um… I can't say that I expected this, Sheldon. I'm not sure what to say…"

Sheldon nodded his head, "I would like it if we preserve the Friendship Clause of our Roommate Agreement. Though if you need time to think this over or still do not think it is justifiable to forgive me, then I understand."

Leonard looked warily at Howard who simply shrugged his shoulders in response. Leonard's focus returned to Sheldon, "So you really broke things off with Penny?"

Swallowing, Sheldon clenched his jaw tightly as he responded, "Yes."

"Okay. We…" Leonard casted his gaze down. "I guess we can be friends again."

"Wait a minute!" Missy stepped forward, placing herself between Sheldon and the guys. "Hold up. What the hell is going on here?"

Everyone stared back at Missy, confused by the anger in her voice.

"Is no one gonna explain this to me?" Missy threw her hands up in the air and then turned on her heal to face Sheldon. "Shelly, what is all this about breaking up with Penny?"

Securing his hands behind his back, Sheldon answered his sister, "It has been pointed out to me that my actions with Penny recently have been less than noble. Having knowledge of Leonard's romantic inclinations towards Penny, my arrangement with her was a betrayal to Leonard's friendship. So in order to fix our friendship, I have ended my relationship with Penny."

Missy clenched her fists together and resisted the urge to shove Sheldon, "What? What does Leonard have anything to do with you seeing Penny?" Turning her head, she glared at Leonard, "Did you seriously say you wouldn't be friends with him anymore because he's been sleeping with some woman you have a crush on?"

Leonard looked around for help from Howard and Raj who both seemed even more scared of Missy's new pointed wrath. Feeling defensive, Leonard squeaked out his response, "Sheldon knew that I liked her and he lied to me for who knows how long about being with her!"

"And so you broke up with her!?" Missy turned her attention back to Sheldon.

Sheldon cowered under her gaze, reaching back for the arm of the couch. "Yes."

"How could you do that to her?!" Missy shouted. Sheldon averted his gaze, his stomach twisting at the decibel, reminding him of the way Penny yelled at him this morning.

Moving her eyes across the room, Missy caught Howard and Raj's guilty expressions. "And this Vegas trip? This wasn't just some spontaneous outing?"

No one had an answer for her.

"And no one was going to tell me?"

They still didn't have an answer.

"Well that's just great!" Missy tossed her arms to her sides. "Just cry over your bruised egos some more!"

The four jumped as she slammed the front door.

* * *

Penny ignored the knocks at her door. A part of her worried that maybe it was Sheldon in an attempt to fool her by not using his usual knocks. But Sheldon was not one for deceit and would only give up his routine if it were a last resort. Penny didn't want to talk to whoever was at the door, whether it be Sheldon, Missy, Leonard, or even her landlord (especially her landlord). She just wanted to wallow with her wine which was now empty.

She could go to the store and get more. Her years of hard drinking had given her a tolerance of a man twice her size and she barely had a buzz anymore. But Penny didn't want to risk having to see anyone. She couldn't imagine dragging herself off the couch, much less driving to the liquor store just to drink herself numb.

Penny reflected on the near two months she had spent being with Sheldon. Not since the day after her Halloween party had she actually tried to drink with the intention of getting drunk. She had had a glass of wine with Missy, but that had been it. Something about losing herself in her obsession with Sheldon had made her forget about her obsession with alcohol. But as soon as Sheldon disappeared, here she was again, drinking her woes away.

Out of wine, Penny begrudgingly made her way to the kitchen, finding a box of macaroni and cheese in her cupboard. As the water boiled, her own thoughts heated in anger as she munched on a bag of chips. She couldn't believe that Sheldon had the audacity to solve this by dumping her. He should have asked her what she thought first. He should have had her explain her feelings and their relationship to Leonard. He should have at least waited for Leonard to cool off first. But he had to have his quick fix solution, no matter where it left her in the end. Part of Penny wanted to march over to his apartment and demand that he listen to her and her thoughts on this matter, and that he consider the possibility that she is good for him and that maybe, he'd be good for her too. But her pain and embarrassment held her at bay. How could she guarantee that Sheldon felt anything for her other than exactly what he set out for them to be? How could she be so sure that all of those moments that she thought she was seeing a different side of Sheldon, a side that was growing and feeling only for her, was actually real? Maybe like so many of her relationships in her past, she had made up something that wasn't there. Lied to herself to justify the intensity of her own feelings.

Penny couldn't give anymore. She played the leader, coaxing Sheldon to where she wanted him to go, only to have him abandon her at the finish line. She could be honest with him and tell him exactly how she feels for him. She could even say the words, 'I love you' in hopes that maybe that would make him consider just how much more they were to each other. But Penny didn't have it in her to fight for him. Not today, and she didn't think tomorrow either. Too many times in her life, mostly with Kurt, she had pushed and pleaded for a man to give their relationship another chance. She always had a solution, a lesson she had learned, or a scheme to make sure it all went exactly how she dreamt it could be. But Penny couldn't chase after men forever. She couldn't always be the one that felt something more. No matter that Sheldon was more dense than malicious; she couldn't be the leader anymore.

As Penny stirred in the dehydrated cheese, she considered the possibility of solving all of her problems by running again and that she really needed to wash her bed sheets.

* * *

Missy sat at the bottom of the apartment steps, rolling the ring on her finger. She wasn't sure why she got so angry. Well, that wasn't true. She still couldn't believe the stupid male pride shit-show that prompted her brother to toss her newest and only friend in this city to the curb. While she understood why Leonard would be hurt and upset, she didn't think Sheldon had to go to this far just for his sake. But she knew her brother and when he actually realized that he hurt someone's feelings, which was a rare occasion, he went to extremes in order to get in that person's good graces again. She would need to talk with him – a conversation that didn't involve yelling. But it would have to wait because she had her own problems to deal with now.

She rubbed her temples as she tried to remember the events of the night prior. Missy hardly drank. After years of living with an abusive alcoholic, she had bad feelings surrounding alcohol. But, every once in a while she would give into social pressures and have a drink or two with her friends. Even more rarely in her life, she would actually get drunk with a large group of people. Last night was a strange instance where she drank more than she intended. She remembered rationalizing at some point that she was in a fabulous city having more fun than she had in years. But she should have known there was never an excuse for getting that sloppy.

As soon as they got to the hotel, she and Raj separated from Howard and Leonard. It didn't make much sense to her then, though in hindsight, she can see why they were eager to get away. She still couldn't be sure about Raj's motivations, but she had a suspicion that he had liked her for a while now. His random attempts at flirting and then reverting back into his quiet shell told her so much.

They decided to paint the town red, both of them being Vegas virgins. She taught Raj how to play some card games and they sat at a pair of slots half the night, ordering drinks and talking about their lives. She found Raj so easy to talk to and she had a sense, though she couldn't remember the exact conversation, of slipping some more personal details about her life that she never intended to say. From the slots, her memories of the night grew hazy, though she did recall dancing with him in a dark, crowded room and his warm lips pressed firmly to hers. She had never kissed a man like him before – one so shy and unassuming. There was only hesitant appreciation in his kiss and none of the rough, possessiveness that she had come to know.

She knew it was him coming up behind her, stopping one stair above to sit down. She glanced sideways at his tennis shoes, waiting for him to speak.

"Sorry I didn't tell you," his voice was quiet and unsure.

"It's okay," Missy sighed. "I'm angry but not at you. Not even really about that so much."

"I'm sorry about that as well," Raj answered ruefully.

Missy looked down at the gold band on her finger once more. She mostly hadn't taken it off yet because it looked expensive, and the idea of losing something that valuable made her more nervous than the meaning behind it. It still didn't feel real sitting on her finger.

"What are we going to do?" Missy turned to look at him, resting her back on the wall.

Raj stared at her for a few moments, licking his lips as he tried to find what little courage he had.

"I was thinking… in the car…. on our way here…"

Missy waited for him to continue, "Yeah?"

"I'm not sure if this is the right time to say this." he frowned deeply.

"Just say it, please," Missy sighed, rolling her head onto her shoulder. "I'm all out of ideas."

Raj folded his arms in his lap, his own gold ring catching her eye as his fingers hung over his leg.

"Perhaps we don't have to fix this. Maybe we can just stay married."

Missy furrowed her eyebrows, "Explain."

Sucking in a breath, Raj began his thought process, "We're both almost thirty and our families have been on our cases about settling down." Missy tried to remember when she had told him that. "Personally, I'm not sure I can hold off my parents' arranging a marriage for me any longer. And we like each other." Raj picked at some fuzz on his pants nervously. "Well, I mean, I like you. I've considered the possibility that your affections towards me could have just been the booze."

Missy's heart ached as she took in his sad face. She could see that that was more something he believed and not just a "possibility".

"No, I like you too, Raj. I wouldn't have done well- any of that – no matter how drunk I was if I didn't."

Raj couldn't prevent the wide smile that spread across his face.

"But even if we do like each other… marriage is really serious," Missy's somberly pointed out.

Raj nodded his head, "I know, I know. But I do want to be with you. And the idea of going to get this annulment sounds like we're ending things before they've even started."

Missy stared at him, the reality of what they had done sinking in.

"You're serious, aren't you?"

Raj averted his eyes and nodded his head, "I know it isn't conventional, but maybe… maybe it could work?"

Missy considered his argument for a long moment. He made a lot of sense, but everything she had thought about relationships and marriage told her that this was a crazy idea.

"We barely know each other," Missy hedged.

"Not everyone who gets married knows each other," Raj countered.

Missy laughed covering her face with her hands, her resolve slipping through her fingers.

"I can't believe I'm actually considering going along with this," Missy said, more to herself. "This is crazy."

Raj frowned. He had exhausted his pool of arguments.

Missy stared at him. She had been running from dangerous men and marriage her whole life. She tried so hard to not become her mother, only to find herself repeating her mother's mistakes over and over. Missy couldn't tell if this was another moment. Raj wasn't anything like her dad, and as far as she knew, Mary never accidently married someone. Even so, this idea was ludicrous on its face. It didn't make any sense, but maybe love or the potential for love wasn't supposed to. Something inside Missy was pushing her to go with Raj's plan. She couldn't explain it in words, but what Raj said about ending things before they even began scared Missy in a strange way.

"Okay," she found herself staying. "Let's do this."

What surprised Missy more than her words was the surety at which she felt them.

* * *

Sheldon was alone once more. He had hoped that Leonard extending his forgiveness would restart everything back to normal, but Leonard had barely spoken to him all day. He mostly hid in his room and when he did come out, he said he was going to eat dinner at Howard's and closed the door before Sheldon could even protest.

Useless solving any equations, Sheldon spent the remainder of his afternoon typing out the events of the past two days in his daily social log. Outlining the events of his fight with Leonard was easy. He was used to describing Leonard in his log. After all these years, he could easily quantify Leonard's reactions and assumed emotional states fairly easily. Now with his apology past him, Sheldon felt calmer about his position in Leonard's world.

Writing what occurred with Penny proved difficult. Sheldon had to halt his stream of consciousness to stop and reconsider everything. Something about the night before felt different for Sheldon than all of the other nights he had spent with Penny. He brushed it away, thinking that it had to do with his fear of losing his friends, but even now with a verbal acceptance of his apology, Sheldon's heart beat faster as he remembered the safe enclosure of Penny's arms. Her soft voice had crooned reassuring words in his ear, and when Sheldon wrote about her harsh cries that morning, he felt faint and sick all over again. He wanted relief from his worry and emotional distress, but there seemed to be another confounding factor that he hadn't considered.

Sheldon went back through his journal, trying to locate a moment where any feelings for Penny might have changed over the past few months since they started their sexual relationship. His journal was thorough and clinical as it had always been, breaching on pornographic at times, though Sheldon tried to keep the details of his sexual encounters with Penny brief because even though he intended to be the only one to read this journal, he knew it was rude and ungentlemanly to discuss sexual prowess with a lady. As he scanned his entries, he couldn't locate a single moment that indicated a drastic shift in his thinking concerning Penny. Instead, there seemed to be a gradual subject change. He went from exploring his rendezvouses with Penny with an experimental approach to his libido quandary to ignoring his desire for her and rather focusing on their day-to-day interactions. The last few weeks of records included very little about Sheldon himself and what he thought on any matters or the things that Penny made him feel. Instead, his journal became a dissection of Penny's behaviors. He wrote about what things made Penny laugh, what made her sad, how aesthetically pleasing she looked when she argued with him, her patience with his lectures just after coitus, her sighs whenever he kissed her.

Sheldon felt dizzy with an overwhelming sense of dread as he pushed away from his computer. The clock read 8:00pm and he had to collect his clothes to do laundry. It didn't occur to him until midday that he completely forgot about laundry night the day before. Penny had arrived at his apartment before he could do it, and unbeknownst to him, it completely slipped his mind. Sheldon pondered over the fact that these kinds of mistakes never happen to him aside from when he was stuck on a problem. Then, he gladly went days without worrying about what to eat for dinner or which day was laundry day. Fortunately, he had an emergency schedule already in place for such occurrences but it did not go unnoticed to Sheldon that Penny had been the first person to distract him from his routine.

Collecting his clothes which were already separated into whites and colors, Sheldon looked forlornly at his bed. Pulling the comforter off, he stripped the sheets and worked at the pillowcases. When he came to the pillow that Penny had rested her head on the night before, he held the cushion up to his nose and breathed in deeply. He could still smell her, almost as strongly as if she were still lying right next to him which he knew had to be impossible. Catching the clock, Sheldon threw the pillow back onto his mattress, only disposing of one pillowcase into his hamper.

Sheldon stopped in the hallway and stared at the door of 4B. He considered knocking on Penny's door, inviting her to do laundry with him as she had been doing for weeks, but Sheldon knew that would be inappropriate today. The clenching deep in his abdomen and startling jitters kept him at bay, and he continued down the stairs.

Sheldon knocked his basket into the door frame when he caught the sight of blonde hair ducking in front of a dryer. He watched spellbound as Penny collected a load of her clothes. Her face was red and blotchy, and she wore her hair in a loose bun resting on top of her head. She turned her head at the sound of his entrance, her eyes bugging out as he stood above her, clenching onto his basket. Penny's heart stopped and she had to brace herself with her hand to the cement floor as she computed the fact that Sheldon was standing in front of her. He wasn't supposed to be here right now. Today was Sunday. He never does laundry on Sunday.

Sheldon noticed the bright color of Penny's eyes as she stared up at him. Her usual light, opaque shade was more vibrant, shining electric green against the red rims of her eyes.

Penny looked past Sheldon's shoulder to the door, plotting her escape. She needed him to move so that she could pick up her basket and go, but he just stood in the doorway, staring at her in a way that made her stomach do somersaults. The feeling used to bring her so much excitement and joy, but now she could only feel sick and scared.

Standing up quickly, Penny lifted her basket, squaring off with Sheldon. Sheldon continued to stand in the doorway, unsure of how to proceed. The sight of her left him frozen in place, and he felt the overwhelming need to throw his basket to the side and kiss her. But he had lost her permission for that now, so instead he grasped the basket harder to his side.

"You need to move," Penny finally said, her voice strained and scratchy. There were no hard lines or silent threats laced in her statement – only her tired, broken words.

Sheldon blinked a few times, considering moving. If he moved, then Penny would run up the stairs, and this feeling would be gone. It hit him in that second that this was the first time all day he had felt relief from his worry and emptiness. Now his heart pumped furiously and his breath hitched in this throat.

Penny felt like crying. She was trapped in this room with him, and all she could do was wait for him to move. Sure, she could push him easily out of the way, but the thought of touching him only made her heart break more. Tears welled in her eyes as she exhaled roughly.

"Sheldon, please…"

"Wait!" Sheldon finally found the ability to speak. "I- I must speak with you."

A tear fell down Penny's cheek and she lowered her head, staring at her clothes in front of her. She couldn't let him see her cry. Not again.

Sheldon tried to think of something to say. He didn't really know what he needed to speak to her about, but the idea of her leaving so soon left him feeling frantic. He panicked and said the first thing that came to mind. Side-stepping, he approached her warily, still holding the basket in front of him. He noticed a new glistening to her cheeks, and his chest clenched at the sight. He thought of her sad, outraged expression from this morning and knew what he had to say.

"I think I must explain myself," he began.

"Don't," Penny held up a hand, turning her eyes to him, forgetting her concern over whether he saw her tears or not. "I don't want to hear it."

Penny darted forward but Sheldon reflexively put himself in her path again, "Penny, please."

"There isn't any more to say, Sheldon," Penny insisted hoarsely as she held her head up high in pride. "You explained yourself  _very_  clearly."

Penny tried once more to move forward, this time her basket hitting Sheldon's.

"Penny, just please listen, for two minutes," Sheldon asked, bracing his shoulder against the door frame again.

Penny surrendered, stepping back as she stared off into the corner of the room, refusing to look at him.

"I hypothesized that terminating the sexual aspect of our friends-with-benefits arrangement would secure my friendship with Leonard once more since that appeared to be what questioned my loyalties as a friend to him. Even though Leonard has tentatively forgiven me, I still find myself in a highly sensitive emotional state from our night together and the events of this morning which I can't figure out. It was my assumption that a friends-with-benefits paradigm specifically forbade emotional attachments."

Penny shot her eyes to him in disbelief over his words.

"You really have no clue, do you?" her words bit into him. "This stopped being just friends-with-benefits a long time ago."

Sheldon shoulders gave some slack to his basket, "What did it become?"

Penny shook her head, "You have to figure that out yourself."

Sheldon didn't stop her when Penny pushed through this time. He watched her as she ran up the stairs, her words slicing through him as he considered their meaning. In the process of trying to make things right with Leonard, he had wronged Penny in a way that proved more confusing than his first offense to his roommate. And unlike Leonard, Penny didn't intend to spell it out for him. He hadn't considered initially how Penny would feel about ending their relationship. He was only concerned about his panic and doing what logic dictated he must. But there were other variables he hadn't considered, prior evidence that may have shown him a better solution. Sheldon set his laundry basket on the middle washer as he braced his palms on top of the lid. What had he done?

* * *

Penny dropped her clean clothes on the floor as soon as she found sanctuary in her apartment. Searching frantically, she picked up her wine bottle, her mad anguish lurching inside of her as the empty remains reminded her how she had finished the bottle off hours ago. Throwing the bottle across the room, she stormed into her bedroom, burying her face into her pillows. It was masochistic the way the pain of remembering their bodies pressed together on these sheets just days before soothed her. Penny sobbed helplessly, trying to forget the blueness of Sheldon's wide-eyed innocence. He really didn't know. He didn't have a fucking clue and that almost hurt her more. How could he not feel what she felt? Consider what she had considered? Did it even flicker across his mind? And if it did, did he toss it away because of the stupid rules of that ridiculous arrangement he so preciously clung to since the very beginning?

As Penny's sobs subsided, she hiccupped once as she pulled her blankets around her. Just this one night she would try to forget this morning. She would only give herself tonight to remember how they were the night before and live there again. As sleep took away Penny's anger, she imagined the warmth of her blankets as Sheldon's sturdy arms wrapped protectively around her. Her thoughts wandered to the laundry room, her dreams of apologies and kisses she'd surely regret in the morning.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The following Sunday, Sheldon arrived in the laundry room at exactly 8:15.

"Why are you here?" Penny asked with a sharp voice.

Sheldon licked his lips as he balanced the laundry basket on his hip.

"Since I missed laundry night last week and was forced to wash my clothes on Sunday, my whole rotation is thrown off," he rationalized, a lie he had been spinning to himself the entire week.

Penny frowned and went back to throwing her wet clothes into the dryer. She could feel his eyes glued to her back. Goosebumps rolled up her spine, tickling the bottom of her neck as she tried to hurry.

Sheldon set his laundry basket down on the center washer, watching Penny closely as she leaned forward and transferred her clothes. He hadn't seen her all week. Much to his chagrin, she skipped her Tuesday shift at the Cheesecake Factory. Upon discovery, Sheldon concluded that Penny must be avoiding him which left a sour taste in his mouth. Every time he left or entered his apartment, he looked around hoping to see her, but he was met with no such luck. It was a stroke of probabilistic genius and coincidental bargaining that Sheldon stumbled upon her again this Sunday, the same night he saw her just a week before.

Sheldon noted her beauty in that moment. She wore her thin yellow t-shirt and floral cotton stretch pants with a pair of white flip flops. Her hair was curled in a light wave that reminded Sheldon of all the times he had touched her soft locks. Her skin looked soft and warm and his fingertips itched to reach out and stroke her arm as she tucked herself beneath his chin.

His mesmerized studying was interrupted by Penny spinning around and facing him. She planted a hand on her hip and a frown settled in her eyes.

"So are you going to be here at this time every week?" She asked, pursing her lips in defense. She wasn't sure whether the humming inside her was due to anticipation or dread.

Sheldon nodded, "Will you be skipping your Tuesday shift every week?"

Penny down casted her eyes and turned to slide her quarter in their slots, "Yes."

"Bernadette isn't as good a waitress as you," Sheldon blurted out, remembering the pint-size waitress that substituted in Penny's place (who oddly seemed to not mind Wolowitz's aggressive advances).

Penny shrugged as she pushed her change in to start the machine, "That's not my problem anymore."

Abandoning his basket, Sheldon stepped closer to her, his heart beating to a funny, frantic dance.

"I'm confused as to why we can't still be friends," Sheldon's fingers clenched and unclenched as he held them awkwardly by his sides.

Penny folded her arms over her chest turning her fiery eyes on him as she responded.

"Because you dumped me! And it hurts to even be near you much less pretend to be okay with everything that has happened between us!" Penny didn't mean to shout but her voice wavered in its intensity.

Sheldon blinked several times as he pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth, "I'm sorry that I hurt you. I was only trying –"

"Save it, Sheldon," Penny waved her hand, interrupting him. "I've heard it."

"I want to repair this," Sheldon blurted out, preventing her from leaving. "All the social relationships in my life were supposed to return back to normal, but they haven't."

Penny stared up at him and a small piece of her was able to see past her pain for a moment and observe the insecure twitch in Sheldon's cheek as he wrung his hands together nervously. Something inside of her pinched her senses awake, telling her that this was the source of his motivation behind his actions. But her stubborn, defensive side reminded her of the hurt and isolation she had felt all week and she pulled her anger over herself like a protective cloak.

"You have a lot to say to me before anything can be repaired."

"Tell me what it is I need to say," he bore his blue eyes deeply into hers. "I can't formulate any hypotheses about what I need to do to fix this if you don't tell me."

It was so tempting to just say everything she wanted and felt for him. She could so easily shout, yell, and cry her needs. But Penny had promised herself that she deserved better this time around. She deserved someone wanting to tell her these things not just so she'll always be around for them.

"I told you," Penny shook her head, holding his stare. "You're going to have to figure it out yourself. It can't just be words you repeat back to me because you know that's what I want to hear."

She left Sheldon standing in the laundry room staring after her as she walked away. Every step she took up the stairs was heavier than the last. Her body was screaming at her to rush down the stairs and return to him, but her pride knew better.

Sheldon stood in the center of the room for a few long moments, his mind racing with Penny's words. She kept leaving cryptic puzzle pieces that had no logical starting place. Penny used to only speak bluntly to him. It was a trait he admired and took for granted as their friendship blossomed into something more. Her words repeated over and over in his mind,  _"it hurts to be near you."_  To Penny, he lost the privilege of her blunt forwardness the second he ended their relationship agreement.

* * *

As Sheldon finished his laundry, he wracked his brain, trying to decipher what it was that Penny needed to hear from him.

He understood that women liked to focus on how facts and events made them feel, rather than the actual statement or incident itself. He had tried explaining to Penny exactly why he needed to end things with her from a rational basis, but that seemed to upset her more than it helped. Sheldon had a suspicion that what she wanted from him was a declaration of his feelings for her. Rationality and facts Sheldon could easily maneuver, but feelings – that always left him stupefied and ignorant.

Sheldon was not one to admit ignorance on most things, but even he couldn't deny that many moments in his life he was left lost and scared when it came to other people's emotions. His father's rage frequently was directed either towards himself or his mother. Sheldon tried coding a particular pattern to predict his father's vitriol and violent outbursts, but in his short eleven years living with him, he couldn't successfully avoid his walloping smacks or whiskey breath screaming in his face. His mother's emotions could be just as erratic as his father's. Often he would find her crying, and at a very young age, he could remember her accepting his hugs - a mechanism he determined would console her since it was always something she did that brought him comfort when he cried. But at a certain point, she began pushing away his attempts to comfort her. It left Sheldon feeling helpless from his own emotional security and others. Numbers and formulas had constants and malleable variables all under his own control. People and feelings seemed to operate on a different plane that he long ago conceded he didn't have the capacity to grasp nor deserved his efforts or concentration.

Folding his laundry, he gazed at Penny's dryer which had ended its cycle an hour ago. He hoped she would come down while he still occupied the space and retrieve her clothes. One thing that proved constant in Penny's behavior was her insistence on avoiding him .All week he had moved through his schedule with Leonard, Howard, and Raj like old times, but he could sense a drastic shift in his experience. He had come to realize just how ingrained Penny's presence became in his schedule and without her sunny smile and sarcastic comments that 23/30 times had to be explained to him, his day to day actions colored gray.

Finishing his folding, he looked to Penny's dryer again. Sighing, he walked over and removed the basket from the lid.

* * *

Sheldon returned to his apartment finding Raj sitting in the center of the couch with his lap top open and Missy in the leather chair chewing her nails as she stared at him.

"I've told you, I'm a grown man and I will make decisions for myself now. Missy and I are staying married and that's final," Raj said, the finality of his tone matching his words.

Raj's mother's voice sighed from the computer, "If you want to marry an American and turn your back on your family, then that's fine. But you will not take a wedding away from me."

Raj twisted his brows together, "What do you mean? Missy and I already had a wedding."

"She means a real wedding. Not some drunken night in Vegas that you won't be able to tell your grandchildren about," his father corrected.

Raj frowned shamefully..

"So it's settled. In one month, you and your new wife will come to India and we'll have a traditional wedding," his mother annnounced with satisfaction.

Missy's eyes widened and she waved her hands to get Raj's attention, shaking her head furiously back and forth.

Eyeing Missy, Raj tried to interpret her gesture.

"I think that Missy doesn't want that?" he said it as if it were a question.

Missy dropped her head into her hands. Rolling his eyes at the pair, Sheldon left the room to put his clothes away. He still didn't understand why those two were even entertaining the idea of keeping their marriage.

"What do you mean she doesn't want that? Is she there right now? Let me speak to her!" Raj's mother demanded.

Missy turned green as she stared at Raj's face. He shrugged his shoulders, not knowing exactly what it was Missy wanted from him. Her nostrils flared as she shifted over to sit next to Raj. She instantly pushed the corners of her mouth into a fake smile, mentally calculating how she would kill Raj once this Skype session ended.

Waving, Missy greeted his parents, "Hello."

Raj's father's eyes widened as he examined the tall, brunette beauty sitting beside his son. "This is your wife?"

"Mommy, Daddy – this is Missy. Missy, these are my parents," Raj exchanged greetings.

"I'm impressed, son," his dad grinned widely. His mother turned her angry eyes to him which he coward beneath. Missy wished there was a way she could teleport out of the state.

"It's very nice to finally meet you," she said, turning up her southern charm.

Unimpressed, Raj's mother pressed forward, "So you don't want to marry in India, furthering stomping on our family and traditions?"

Shaking her head, Missy let out a laugh, "Oh no ma'am, I swear it's not that. It's just…" she tried to think quickly to save herself. "If we're going to have a wedding, my own family would want to be there for it. They're none too happy about us eloping either."

"So we'll have the wedding in America then," his mother insisted.

Missy exchanged a glance with Raj, hoping he'd save her. Raj remained quiet, not wanting to get between the two women that scared him most.

"Well," Missy turned back to the screen. "I guess maybe that could work but…"

"Excellent! I'll start looking up venues right now. We'll shoot for two weeks but if we have to wait three that will be fine."

It was Missy's turn to bug her eyes out, "Two weeks?! Um, excuse me, ma'am, but don't you think that is a little quick to be planning a wedding?"

Raj's mother snorted, "Please, not one of your simple American weddings. And besides, I want to make sure to see my son marry before I die and the sooner we get out there before you two call this off, the better."

* * *

Around eleven, Penny determined it was safe to retrieve her laundry from the dryer without running into Sheldon again. Opening her front door, she almost tripped over her basket sitting at her feet. She looked down and saw that her clothes had been neatly folded and stacked based on size and category. Penny turned her eyes to 4A, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. Picking up the basket, she brought the clothes inside, trying to push away her instinct to read into the gesture.

* * *

That night, Sheldon ended up alone with Leonard in the living room for the first time. Ever since his return from Vegas, though Leonard was cordial with him, he did not go out of his way to spend time with Sheldon outside of when Raj and Howard were around. But strangely enough, Leonard didn't hide in his room once Raj and his sister took their leave. They hadn't talked about their fight or his previous relationship with Penny.

Leonard felt ashamed hiding from Sheldon all this time. Though he still felt angry and embarrassed, he knew that his roommate made a big sacrifice and extended him a gesture he never expected or could ever remember receiving from someone. But every time he looked at Sheldon, he remembered his own failures and a hot, suffocating jealousy surged through him. In order to stop himself from saying anything stupid or hurtful, he usually left to wallow in his room. He still couldn't wrap his head around the idea of Sheldon and Penny. Penny wasn't supposed to like guys like them. He had fantasized and dreamed a lot about her seeing past stereotypes and social boundaries, recognizing the nice guy that he knew himself to be. Even if it took a few years, Leonard could imagine himself waiting on the sidelines for her to come around. He never expected her to go for a guy that even nerds found strange and were embarrassed to associate themselves with him. Not that Sheldon embarrassed Leonard… well… not much anyways. He did grow to appreciate and enjoy Sheldon's presence and friendship that he provided, however bizarre and lopsided it was. It's just that Sheldon was the last person he ever expected would be able to snag Penny. Not just from Penny's end but Sheldon's as well. As far as he had reasoned, Sheldon didn't have a deal. He never expressed any interested in women and whenever any of them did try and pursue relations with the opposite sex, Sheldon would chastise them for giving into their animal hindbrain.

Leonard might have verbally forgiven Sheldon, but his gut told him that he still had some issues he had to work through. And unlike what his upbringing taught him, instead of confronting it head on, he had been avoiding his friend and roommate since the discovery. He knew that if the giant elephant in the room was addressed, they'd both end up saying things that could permanently hurt their friendship forever. Leonard had never had luck with women, and addressing what had happened between Sheldon and Penny would force Leonard to look inwards and ask whether all these years of thinking there was just something wrong with guys like him was actually not the issue at all but rather only something wrong with him.

After a half hour of watching a documentary on super novas on the Science channel, with a running Sheldon commentary about the vague explanations and outdated inaccuracies of the program, Leonard excused himself to his bedroom.

Sheldon might still be squandering over what to do about turning back the clock on his relationship with Penny, but he understood enough to keep the issue with Leonard swept under the rug. He had done the only thing that demonstrated his loyalties to friendship, and it was now on Leonard to either truly accept his apology and move on or forever leave this wedge between them. Sheldon hoped it wasn't the latter because the possibility that he permanently damaged things with Penny and not be able to salvage his relationship with his best friend in the process casted a black worry over him.

As Sheldon moved about the rest of the evening, in the back of his mind he had been trying to figure out his situation with her. He wasn't sure what it was he exactly wanted from it, but he knew that where they stood now left him feeling queasy and on edge. Outside of his own reactions, what concerned him the most was Penny's obvious hurt and anguish due to his actions. If anything, he needed to find a way to right this again, if only for her sake.

The only conclusion that Sheldon kept returning to, no matter how uncomfortable it left him and the infinite number of alternative solutions he considered, was to explain to Penny his own feelings on their break up and the days following. While Sheldon Cooper operated under the guise that yes, he indeed had feelings though he strived to ignore them and live his life based on logic and reason, he still had a sensory and perceptive experience colored and affected by his emotional state. He denied it often both to others and himself, but due to recent events, Sheldon had been faced with a highly active limbic system that caused his mood to fluctuate severely. He wasn't sure how to convey to Penny his feelings when he didn't even fully understand them himself.

Finding a composition notebook in his bedroom, Sheldon relaxed over his covers, resting his head on the still unwashed pillowcase that Penny slept on a week before and started writing.

* * *

On Tuesday, Penny ignored the series of knocks at her front door.

After a few minutes, her cell phone vibrated on the coffee table.

**Missy: I know you're in there and I'm not leaving until you open the door.**

Sighing, Penny sagged her shoulders in defeat as she answered the door.

Leaning against the door frame, Missy smiled as Penny cracked the door to look out at her. Penny found comfort in Missy's blue eyes, so she opened the door wider to signal that she could enter.

"You doing okay, hun?" Missy asked as she set her purse down on Penny's side table. She just got off work at the University and had the boys drop her off at the apartment before they headed to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Already hearing Sheldon complain about the possibility of not having Penny waitress for them, Missy thought that she could finally corner Penny.

Penny shook her head, curling up on the couch and covering herself in her blanket.

"I'm sorry my brother is a bull-headed moron," Missy shook her head as she sat next to her on the couch.

"It's okay," Penny sighed. "I already knew he was a bull-headed moron before I got into this."

Missy gave Penny a once over before asking, "How have you been handling this?"

Penny shrugged her shoulders, "Fine, I guess."

It scared Penny just how much Missy resembled Sheldon when she gave her all-knowing, you-can't-fool-me expression

"I've been a mess, okay," Penny surrendered.

"That's understandable, sugar," Missy leaned forward and patted Penny's knee. "But you don't gotta shut me out, okay? I've been worried sick."

Penny's lips pouted out as she tried to hold back her tears. It seemed like the only thing she was good at these days was crying. "I thought that maybe you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore now that Sheldon and me aren't together."

Missy scoffed, "Hell no! I am so upset with Shelly for doing this to you! He's gotten more than an earful from me about it all."

A watery smiled pulled up Penny's features, "Really?"

"Yep. It's not right what he did. I know that he meant well and he was trying to fix that stupid spat between him and Leonard, but he shouldn't have just made that decision for the both of you," Missy explained.

"Thank you!" Penny shouted, throwing an arm out at Missy. "That's exactly what I've been thinking this whole time! He could have at least consulted me on this before just breaking it off." Sinking back into her cushions she added, "He probably just doesn't care what I think."

"Now that isn't true," Missy folded her legs up on the couch, preparing for a long discussion. "I can't explain to you completely what's going on in my brother's head, but I can tell when he's upset, and I can see that he is missing you."

Penny's eyes danced as she looked in wonder at Missy, "Really?"

Missy nodded, "He's moping around the apartment. He gets distracted and can't keep up with conversations half the time. And anytime that damn front door opens, he looks up all excited as if he's just waiting for it to be you to walk through."

Penny shook her head in disbelief, "I - I just can't imagine that. He was so cold and uncaring when he broke up with me. And when I've seen him… I don't know. I want to think he is hurting too, but I can't afford to think that way."

"Shelly doesn't know how to talk to people or express his feelings. He's also very proud and if he is regretting his decision like I think he is, I'm not sure how long it'll take him to come around and admit that he made a mistake."

Penny's eyes began to water and she threw herself forward, burying her face into Missy's shoulder. Her sobs shook her body as she clung to Missy's sweater.

"I just love him so much," she moaned as Missy patted her back. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. I wasn't supposed to be the vulnerable one."

"I know, I know."

Penny sat up wiping her nose, "And I can't even hope for anything until I hear him tell me something real. Like, I'm not saying I don't believe you, but none of that matters unless he actually makes the effort to fix this. I can't go to him and try to make everything okay after he did that to me."

"And I don't think you should," Missy replied. "Shelly's gotta learn that people aren't disposable." An old anger billowed in her stomach as the words left her tongue.

Penny shook her head, "I just don't understand why I had to be the one thrown aside! I mean, I know he and Leonard have been friends forever, but why is it that all the burden falls on me when I did nothing wrong? I never owed Leonard anything. I wasn't the one who had any ties. Yet I'm the one suffering."

Missy reached over and grabbed a Kleenex box for Penny. "Thank you," Penny said as she pulled a sheet to wipe her eyes.

"I just had these hopes and ideas. I thought that maybe if I waited long enough, he would realize his feelings for me or want something more than what we were," her throat closed up again. "I'm just so stupid."

"You're not stupid," Missy fiercely said. "Leonard is stupid for taking his anger too far and Sheldon is stupid for getting into this with you behind his friends' back and then not standing by you when it blew up in his face."

"Look," Missy continued. "I haven't known Sheldon since we were kids, but I think that what I do know makes me a pretty good judge of him. And he has never acted like this with anyone before. Aside from sex since we both know he never has tried it until you. Even our mother and Meemaw, who Sheldon adores more than anyone in this world, he never made room for them in that head of his like he did for you. Despite what he says, Sheldon feels a lot. Maybe even more than us and that's why he is so confused all the time about what it all means. And even though he messed up and he still hasn't come to you yet, I know that you're special to him. You might be the only chance he has at having anything like that in his life. And I'm gonna make sure he sees that."

Penny launched forward and wrapped her arms around Missy's neck, "Thank you."

After pulling away, Penny wiped her eyes again. "You know, I've had a lot of friends in my life, but I don't think I've ever had one be this nice. I never really liked to show my friends when I was upset."

Missy nodded her head in understanding, "Well, you were so nice to me when I got here and made me feel welcome. Even though I didn't know anybody."

"I understand what it's like to be a stranger somewhere."

After a few quiet moments, Penny turned her attention to the tall brunette.

"So what's been going on with you recently? I know we haven't talked in a while."

"Oh," Missy cheeks blushed crimson. She had completely forgotten to tell Penny about her and Raj. "Well, I got married."

Penny snorted, "No you didn't."

Missy bit her lip and looked up at her through her lashes.

Penny gasped, "Shut up! Who? When?"

"Raj and when we went to Vegas."

Penny's jaw dropped, "Holy crap on a cracker! Were you drunk?"

"Very," Missy rolled her eyes. "But we decided that we're going to give it a try. The wedding – well, our "real" wedding as our moms are putting it – is in two weeks."

Her mouth still open, Penny's eyes opened wide, "Two weeks?"

"I know. You don't gotta to tell me. I think it's craziness but his mom is hell-bent on seeing us get married and she seems to think there is a quick expiration date on all this. And as soon as she got a hold of my mom, they've been conspiring together. Well, when they aren't fighting over what kind of religious ceremony it's gonna be."

Penny shook her head, "I just…. This is so bizarre. You and Raj. Do you even like him?"

Missy smiled shyly as she looked down at her nails, "Yeah, he's definitely a sweet heart. I had a bit of a thing for him before, but I didn't really know him. Still don't. I moved into his place and gave up my apartment search. We thought since we're giving this a try, might as well go all the way with it. He still won't share a bed with me though. He gets too nervous and moves to the couch. It's strange. We're husband and wife but it's like he's courting me. We've just been trying to get to know each other. Sitting around and talking about our lives."

For the first time in a week and a half, Penny felt a small glow in her heart, "That's really cute, Missy. I'm happy for you."

"Would you be in my wedding," Missy suddenly blurted out just as the idea dawned on her.

"Me?"

"Yeah, I want you to be my maid of honor."

"Oh, Missy, I don't know," Penny quickly backtracked, panicked over the idea. "Shouldn't you ask someone in your family or a really close friend?"

Missy shook her head, "I don't really have anyone else to ask. It's just gonna me my mother and Meemaw coming up from Texas. Please, Penny, I know this is a lot to ask."

Penny considered the idea. Her first instinct was to flee. This would be a lot of time she had to spend around Sheldon when she could barely hold herself together as it is. On the other hand, Missy had been a really good friend to her – much more than she could say of anyone else that she had met since coming to California. She didn't want to force her to ask someone randomly.

"I really want to do this for you, but I'm worried," Penny admitted.

"About being around Shelly?" Missy asked.

Penny nodded.

"If you don't want to talk to him, you don't have to. I'll make sure he knows that. But we'll be so busy with doing all that bridal stuff that I don't think you'll even be around him much."

Penny could already feel herself giving in but she considered it for a few moments.

"And your family? Do they know about us?"

"Not unless Sheldon told anyone, which I highly doubt. Mom has been so concerned with me leaving and now this wedding. Which she's none too happy about but I think she's giving in cause she always hated me "living in sin" with my previous boyfriends."

Penny nodded her head, "Okay, I'll do it. I'll be your maid of honor."

Missy smiled widely and pulled Penny into another hug, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

* * *

Penny thumbed through a bridal magazine while she sat on top of the washer, looking at the choices in maid of honor dresses that Missy had marked. They had shopped for Missy's dress earlier that week. Missy wanted to get it out of the way before her mother arrived so that she didn't end up in something poofy with a long train. Penny found that shopping with Missy and getting lost in this wedding planning really took her mind off of spending all her time being sad in her apartment. For the most part, Missy was an efficient and carefree bride, leaving most of the tasks like logistics, color schemes, seating arrangements, and catering to her and Raj's parents – mostly because Raj's mother had demanded control over the situation since she and Raj's father were paying for the wedding. After many executive decisions by both Raj and Missy that forbid more traditional Indian ceremonies as well as Mary's insistence that they get married in a Baptist church that Raj could be baptized in – they decided on a stylistic American/Indian blend that was more low key and manageable for the time-frame they were given.

Penny couldn't really say why she decided to do her laundry on a Sunday evening again. Sheldon explicitly told her that this was his new routine. She had purposely made it so that she avoided him at all other costs, but as it approached eight, Penny grew antsier. Though the thought of seeing him terrified her, a large, consuming force wanted to use this safe space to put herself in his way just to see what he would do. She already suspected that changing laundry night last weekend was an excuse by him. She knew that he could easily just go back to Saturday night. He'd have one less day of laundry to do but soon he'd be right on track again. That fact had been nagging her all week, and she had set it up in her mind that if he showed up tonight, maybe there would be a possibility of them having another chance.

As it got closer to 8:15, Penny turned the pages more frantically, to nervous to pay attention to the pictures anymore. Her stomach hurt and she felt like at any second her nerves would become too much and she'd bolt from the room. As her hair prickled on the back of her neck, she saw out of the corner of her eye Sheldon appearing with his laundry basket.

"Hello, Penny," Sheldon greeted her, setting his basket down on the middle washer adjacent to her. She didn't jump away, intending to play nonchalance and remain where she sat. She nodded her reply, her skin was set ablaze at his closeness.

Sheldon set aside his composition notebook as he began his washing routine. He gave himself a mental pep talk, practicing once more how he'd begin this proposition to Penny. He had been worried that after last week, she wouldn't be here again, but her presence in the laundry room indicated that he had an open invitation to try out this next experiment. Starting the washer and letting his eyes trail down Penny's body as she continued to stare at the magazine in her hands, he picked up the notebook and repositioned himself in front of her.

Penny blinked her eyes up at the sound of Sheldon clearing his throat. She caught sight of him hugging a black and white notebook to his chest, standing expectantly in front of her.

Once Sheldon saw that he had her attention he began.

"Last Sunday, you told me that I needed to say "things" to make up for the way that I have wronged you. You were very cryptic in what these "things" were that you needed to hear, but I've taken it upon myself to try and figure out this puzzle you've presented me. I call this Experiment 1 to my Penny Apology Study."

Penny set aside her magazine, holding her breath as she looked at him more openly.

"For the past week, I've been writing down my observations of the feelings I've been having since our departure. I'm not positive that this is exactly what you meant, but this is the first test of my hypothesis."

Sheldon opened his notebook and began reading.

"Sunday 11:10 pm: Penny told me today that I needed to tell her things before I can fix what I've done to her. Every time I see her, her facial expressions resemble hose that I've come to associate with sadness and anger. I don't like making Penny sad. When Penny smiles, I feel a calm peace knowing that she's happy."

"Tuesday 7:45 pm: Penny wasn't at the Cheesecake Factory and we once again had to be served by Bernadette. She's a fine waitress by most standards, but she isn't Penny. Penny would talk with us and touch my shoulder when taking our order. I hate being touched, but when it's Penny's hand, I don't think about the germs. It feels right when Penny touches me even though I don't have a scientific explanation of why that is."

"Wednesday 8:00 am: Every time I wake up, I still smell Penny's hair on my pillow. The only way I can describe the feeling in my chest is that there is a hole that grows larger every day. Were I a hypochondriac, I'd get a CAT scan to see what's wrong. But I know this isn't an issue with physiology. It's in the mornings that I miss Penny the most. I don't usually remember my dreams, and my nights since I terminated the relationship agreement between us have been long and dreamless. My only explanation for the intense questioning and longing I experience in the mornings is that I must have dreamt of Penny during my REM cycles."

"Friday 3:45 pm: Today at lunch was the first time anyone broke the unspoken silent ceasefire about my relationship with Penny. Wolowitz made a joke questioning whether we ever engaged in carnal relations at all because of my presumed status as an asexual and lack of functioning genitals. I felt a violent anger come over me that I don't usually experience from Wolowitz's berating jokes. He does only have a Master's degree after all, so what merit does his opinion hold? It occurred to me now that what made this moment different than other incidences that people have teased my lack of experience with women is that their jokes involved Penny. I don't like the idea of people thinking we were nothing. I'm not sure what we were or what all of this means, but we weren't something that should be a joke passed around a lunch table by fools dictated by jealousy."

When Sheldon finally stopped reading, he looked up at Penny. Her green eyes watered as she stared back at him, her hands firmly clenched to the edge of the washer on either side of her thighs. Sheldon panicked, worried that her tears meant he had only made things worse.

"I've upset you," he stated, his eyes scrunching in concern.

Penny shook her head and let out a tense, nervous laugh as tears streamed down her face, "No, you didn't upset me."

"But you're crying again," Sheldon pointed out. "I've written extensively about your crying also in my observations."

"You have?" Penny asked.

Sheldon opened his notebook again.

"Penny cried when I told her that we should end our friends-with-benefits arrangement so that I could apologize to Leonard. She also cried when I saw her in the laundry room on Sunday. Her quick need to escape my presence reminded me of my torment and isolation in childhood when people were afraid of my intelligence. I know though that Penny doesn't think of me in this manner so her need to flee must be indicative of just how badly I have wronged her. I don't like it when Penny cries. It turns my stomach and the dread I feel paralyzes me. I have no idea what to do to make her stop."

Penny wiped her eyes, her tears falling faster.

"These aren't exactly sad tears, Sheldon," she clarified.

"Then what are they?"

"Some happy and some sad. Thank you for sharing that with me."

Sheldon smiled at her, "So then I can write that this experiment was a success?"

They held eye contact for several moments. Penny had the strongest urge to kiss him and forget about her pain and their break up. After hearing his journal entries, Missy's words seemed truer to her now. She could tell this was his way of opening himself up to her, but Penny knew that she couldn't settle for just this. He had to realize what all of these feelings meant. He had to say the words to her and tell her that he wanted to be with her before she could let him inside again.

"It's a good start."


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: It's been three long years, but I'm finally back and with the last chapter of The Pon Farr Hypothesis. A lot of factors went into this super long hiatus. I had a lot of personal things happen to me all at once, and then after that was all settled, I found myself losing interests in the fandom. I haven't actually watched TBBT in three years, but the recent dream sequence kiss happened, and I found the inspiration I needed to finally get my gears going and turn out this final chapter.
> 
> I just want to thank everyone that has been so supportive over the last three years, old readers and new. I've received such amazing feedback from people who had very generous and kind words. There was a long period of time I thought this story was officially abandoned and I'd never return, but the consistent flow of support kept me hopeful and now here we are!
> 
> Writing this story was one of my proudest creative endeavors and all of you who read and reviewed made the experience absolutely amazing. This started as sort of a creative exploration in writing a smut-romance fic and it sort of became this whole other thing.
> 
> This is the final chapter of the story (an epilogue will be posted too, see AN2). I've had this chapter planned since the beginning. I only hope that it's the ending everyone wants. I can't promise it'll be great, considering I'm very, very rusty. But I needed to ride out my inspiration while it lasts.
> 
> Happy reading!

**Chapter 20**

Streams of sunlight blinded Penny's eyes as she turned away from her alarm clock. Grumbling, she lifted her aching bones from the bed and roughly closed the curtains. It was the morning of Raj and Missy's wedding, and she could think of a hundred other things she'd rather do. This week had been hell. Running around with Missy, picking out last minute things and arguing with caterers, florists, and DJs had been maybe the least stressful part. The Cooper family had come into town just a few days before, and despite her efforts, hiding from them was impossible. Mary cornered her in the hallway after one of her shifts and interrogated her about Raj. Penny answered her honestly, explaining that she didn't really know Raj that well because he never spoke around her. That had Mary raising hell with both the twins. Neither Missy nor Sheldon had revealed to Mary about Penny and Sheldon's past, so no matter how many times Penny tried to excuse herself from wedding plans when Sheldon was involved, Mary bullied her back into said activities.

It wasn't exactly that Penny disliked spending time with Sheldon. Quite the opposite. She was enjoying his company again and had to remind herself why she was angry with him. She didn't feel angry, only confused and saddened because his big, dumb, beautiful brain couldn't figure out what she wanted.

Sheldon continued reading Penny passages from his journal whenever he found her alone. The words rolled off his tongue with textbook precision. He was analytical and precise, mechanical in execution. Missy joked that they were his love equations, but Penny still couldn't bring herself to accept that that was his intent. He never actually said he loved her. He said things that sounded like love, but whether that was as a lover or friend remained unclear. He still hadn't stated his conclusion, only his sad, lonely observations that filled Penny with guilt and regret. None of this helped their situation. Penny didn't want to spell it out for him. She wanted him to see right through her and know exactly what she needed.

How can she love someone so intelligent and so dense all at once?

Tossing herself under the covers, Penny closed her eyes, breathing deeply as her head rested on his pillow. It had always been her pillow until Sheldon shared her bed. Now the softness of her sheets reminded her of the light touch of his kiss. The weight of her comforter brought back the shadow of his body hovering above her. And the warmth as she dozed off enveloped her back into his arms.

* * *

"T-minus 3 hours and I will be a married man!"

"But you're already a married man," Sheldon adjusted his cufflinks, quirking an eyebrow at Raj's exclamation.

"In the eyes of the American government. But now it will be legitimate to a much higher power."

"God?" Leonard asked.

"My parents," Raj opened his eyes wide and serious.

"I don't really see the point in going through with this ridiculous ritual. You're already spouses. You've decided to stay together, misguided as it might be. Why spend this exuberant amount of money for something that already happened?"

"I don't know," Raj shrugged his shoulders. "Ask our parents who forced this whole thing."

"I have, and the only answers I've received are the strawman's argument of tradition and God. Both are weak explanations for the stress that everyone is being put through."

"Oh, come on, Sheldon," Leonard gave up trying to tie his tie. "Weddings are about spending a lovely day with the person who makes you the most happy. And showing the world how much you love them."

"And do you love my sister, Raj?"

Raj froze, dipping his head down. He looked like a large child with his tuxedo half buttoned and his slack hanging past his ankles. "Um… well, I really, really like her?"

Sheldon turned to Leonard, "Well, that discounts your theory."

"Come on, Sheldon. Quit bitching and just enjoy all the single chicks. Weddings are like kryptonite to girls. They get sad and desperate, and you've got to be there to console them."

"That's just crude, Howard," Leonard scolded.

"Besides, Sheldon loves Penny so he won't be cruising for chicks anyhow," Raj interjected.

Sheldon squirmed in his suit, darting his eyes to Leonard who did little to hide his frown. Clearing his throat, Sheldon quickly changed the subject.

"I'm also unclear on our duties as your groomsmen. We're supposed to usher people to their seats but I have not been given a seating chart."

"There isn't a seating chart. You just have to be polite and walk them to wherever is open," Howard replied.

"But that just seems unnecessary. Unless they are physically disabled, I don't see why they can't use their own eyes and feet and walk to a seat."

"It's tradition, Sheldon."

"There's that hokum again!"

"Okay, Sheldon," Leonard recovered and returned to the conversation. "There's going to be a lot about today that will seem silly, unnecessary, and illogical. But that's just how weddings are. People don't really like them but it's just something that we do because it makes others happy. And today is about your sister and Raj, and more importantly, the parents. So you just have to smile and save the questions."

Sheldon grunted, adjusting his tie as he checked his watch, "Well this was all very unhelpful. I need to go converse with my sister now and figure out what my other duty for the night will be. Another pointless ritual, I'm gathering."

* * *

"Mother, I think you've had enough."

"Oh, Mary, you were always a teetotaler," Meemaw swatted away Mary's hand reaching for her champagne glass.

"There's gonna be plenty of alcohol at the reception," Mary folded her arms and scowled at her mother.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna drink there too," Meemaw giggled and took another sip of her glass.

Penny caught Missy's eye in the mirror, sharing an amused grin at the two ladies. They had been griping at each other all day, Mary micromanaging and Meemaw snarking and stirring up general chaos.

"Penny, honey," Meemaw called over to her. "Where did you get these darling hair barrettes? They are just beautiful."

"Oh, I actually made them."

"You made them?" Meemaw yelped. "Well lookie here. This one is an artiste!"

"They are very lovely, Penny," Mary agreed, as she stood up to fuss over Missy's hair again, only to be swatted for a second time.

"You should open up a shop and sell these. I bet you'd make a pretty penny."

Penny caught Meemaw's wink. Her heart warmed and she couldn't help but smile. This week had been hectic with Missy and Sheldon's family, but right now she was easing into their presence. They reminded her a lot of her own family back in Nebraska which brought back happy memories for her.

"Okay, mother, we should leave these young ladies be so they can get their makeup ready. And we gotta make sure that Kooth family ain't putting up any devil shrines."

"Koothrapali, Ma," Missy corrected.

"To-may-to, to-mah-to," Mary called after as she led Meemaw out the door.

"Good riddance," Missy belted, releasing a giant sigh.

"Don't let her get to you, Missy," Bernadette patted her arm.

"Yeah, Miss," Missy's childhood friend Rachel – the only one from Texas to fly out for the ceremony - chimed in. "Besides, your Meemaw will make sure she doesn't get up to too much trouble."

"I know," Missy huffed. "I'm happy she was able to come. She hasn't been doing too well recently but she seems in high spirits."

"I think it's seeing your brother," Rachel confirmed. "He always was a grandma's boy."

"He seems the type," Bernadette said. "Penny babies him at the restaurant."

"I don't baby him!"

"Girl, you baby him," Missy agreed. Penny dropped her jaw in offense. Missy quickly changed her tune, reassuring, "And you give him hell too. It's why you're perfect for each other."

"Wait a minute," Rachel leaned over to Penny, "You're dating Sheldon?"

"Well," Penny reddened. "We're not really dating."

"She loves him. He loves her. They had a falling out," Missy offered.

"Oh wow," Rachel's eyes stared at Penny like she suddenly grew a third head. "That's… interesting."

It was clear that Rachel judged her, and Penny wanted to go junior rodeo on her ass. Composing herself, she combatted, "Sheldon is an interesting guy. And he's great in bed too."

"Ahhh, sister ears!"

"Sorry, Missy." Penny continued to apply her makeup, feeling smug.

"Penny?" Bernadette piped up. "If he's so great, why are you still stringing him along?"

"She's got a point," Missy nodded.

Penny tried to respond but stumbled on her words.  _How could they think I'm stringing him along? Didn't they get it?_

"What did he do?" Rachel asked.

Penny sighed, not wanting to explain the pain and embarrassment to this judgmental stranger.

"Shelly was an idiot and broke it off with Penny when his roommate, who's got a huge, ridiculous crush on her, found out and got mad. He thought he was being noble but he was just stupid. Penny's been letting him suffer bout it ever since." Missy corrected herself when she caught Penny's dejected expression. "And with good reason. Though I think he's been showing he's sorry enough."

"Sheldon's been reading Penny journal entries about his feelings for her," Bernadette clarified.

"Awww," Rachel cooed. "That's cute."

Penny rolled her eyes, pushing herself up from her chair. The conversation overwhelmed her, "Look, you guys weren't there. His entries are… well, they're very Sheldon. He still hasn't really said his actual feelings. They're just outside observations like he's some kind of explorer of his own mind."

"That's just his way of understanding these things. I know he loves you," Missy met her eyes through the mirror.

"But how can you know? I don't even know that! I don't think he knows that!"

"I just know. You gotta trust a little Penny. I know it's hard and Shelly broke your trust once already. But he's trying. Really hard."

Bernadette gave a sympathetic nod.

"That's… easier said," Penny sighed returning to her seat at the vanity. "Sometimes I wonder if maybe this was always a bad idea."

"Well you can't change a thing about that," Missy quipped.

"I just can't give myself to him again. Not yet. Not until I know that it'll be real this time. Out in the open, everyone knows, and it's really clear," before anyone could interject, Penny rattled on. "And I can't be the one to make that happen. I've done that with too many boyfriends before. They give me an inch and I give too much of myself again. It's never worked out."

The three women didn't respond, all knowing too well what that felt like.

Missy finally broke the silence, "Well, if it helps. Sheldon sure as hell won't be doing nothing like that again or he knows what's comin' his way."

Penny smiled, appreciating the support.

* * *

Knock, knock, knock. "Missy."

Knock, knock, knock. "Missy."

Knock, knock, knock…

"Sheldon," Mary greeted her son, holding the door only slightly ajar.

"Mother, you should be in your seat. The ceremony is beginning promptly."

"I am aware. I've just been giving my daughter the talk every woman needs to hear before she marries. Though knowing her, it's fallen on deaf, sinful ears."

"I heard that," Missy called from inside the room.

"I am here to retrieve my sister for the ceremony. She's asked me to escort her down the aisle and give her away."

Mary's eyes teared up, "She told me. I'm just so proud of you, Shelly. Steppin in for your daddy this way. I know he's lookin' down at you, proud of his son being the man of the family."

"I'm hardly "the man". More like the only male close enough at this moment to serve as a placeholder in this bizarre, custom of treating women like property."

"Whatever you say, baby. I love you," Mary held his face in her hands and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. Sheldon accepted, tentatively patting her on the shoulder.

"Do you need me to usher you to your seat?"

"No, honey, I got it," she winked and left him in the doorway.

Sheldon entered, finding Missy hunched over, green, and hyperventilating.

"Is she gone?" Missy managed to wheeze out.

Sheldon nodded and Missy let out a sigh, straightened her back and began pacing. Her long dress rustled with each step.

"You seem… upset?" Sheldon guessed.

"More like scared shitless," Missy nervously laughed.

"I see. I suppose words of encouragement would be appropriate in this moment," Sheldon reached out and pat her arm. "There. There."

"Thanks, Shelly. Real helpful."

"I guess if Dad were here, he'd give you some kind of fatherly wisdom that seems to be imparted on children in these moments."

Missy scoffed, her face scrunching, "What the hell wisdom did that fool ever have?"

Sheldon paused, shocked to hear Missy say that.

"What? Can't take me calling daddy a fool?"

"No, quite the opposite. His intelligence was never that impressive. I've just always held the assumption that you were what one would refer to as a 'daddy's girl'."

"I don't really see how you would know anything 'bout that. You left and never came back," Missy seethed.

Sheldon blinked, unsure how he was suddenly involved in whatever nerves Missy was experiencing.

"I'm getting the sense that you're upset. Maybe I should leave you be."

"Oh sure. Just leave!" Missy threw her hands in the air. "That's what you always do. Not surprised!"

Her challenge stopped Sheldon and he stood his ground. "I'd like you to clarify that statement."

"Clarify? What's there to clarify, Shelly? You got all the smarts and were shipped off to some fancy college, leaving me behind with Mrs. Hell-fire and Mr. Jack Daniels."

"I see," Sheldon folded his hands together behind his back. "You're blaming me for your misfortunes."

Rolling her eyes, Missy raised her voice, "I'm not  _blaming_  you. I'd just like you to acknowledge for once what you left me with."

Sheldon sensed Missy's rage and it brought him back to those times in his childhood when he was just a boy, "What did I leave you with?"

Missy shook her head, realizing how angry and resentful she suddenly felt in this moment. Just two minutes ago she wanted to vomit thinking about walking down the aisle. Now her hands were shaking and she wanted to hit something. She must be losing her mind.

"Just… now probably isn't the time."

"You seem to think I've wronged you in some kind of way. This is becoming a trend with me," Sheldon looked at her expectantly.

"I don't know, Sheldon. It's just… well you and I were always looking out for each other. We'd deflect his anger, you know?"

"I distinctly remember most of that anger coming my way," Sheldon argued.

"Maybe," Missy hung her head, ashamed. "But after you left, well, he needed someone new to pick on. And I didn't want you to deflect. I just wanted you to be there."

Sheldon turned away as Missy began to cry. She rushed over to a box of tissues on a table and frantically dabbed her eyes.

"Shit, I'm gonna have to fix this now."

"I didn't realize," Sheldon began, stopping to think carefully about how he wanted to phrase this. "I didn't realize that he would do that. You always seemed to be favored. I just assumed he was only angry at me."

"No, Sheldon. He was angry at the world."

Sheldon waited, trying his best not to return to that dark place this conversation conjured. Missy walked over to him, reaching out for his hand.

"I'm not really angry with you. I just missed you all these years. Spending time with you has been opening old wounds. We were close. That twin bond is a tough one to break."

"I remember," Sheldon nodded, gulping down a hard knot in his throat. "I wouldn't classify what I did though as finding greener pastures. There were times when a sister would have come in handy."

Missy smiled, squeezing his hand as she continued to dab her eyes. "I guess I never thought about that. To me you were off being an adult, and I couldn't wait to do that too."

A long silence fell on the twins. Missy released Sheldon's hand and looked in the mirror to check her makeup. Sheldon pondered what Missy had told him, and an old fantasy about aliens leaving him on earth returned to him.

"Psychologists are often fixated on how parental influence shapes development. And I suppose they have their points, regardless of the pseudoscience in a lot of their theories."

"I don't think you gotta be a rocket science to figure out we're screwed up cookies because of those two. Just look at me. I'm getting married to a man I met just a few weeks ago. And I'm already married to!"

"Speaking on that. Why are you so nervous if you know that this whole ceremony is just a way to please the parents? You and Raj are already joined."

"It's because this is for real. A piece of paper is one thing. But now everyone will see us promise to stay together forever. And that's real pressure. Should we break up, everyone will say how they always knew. And if it does work out, we'll have to deal with people waiting for it to end. There's just so much expectation."

"So why even go through with it?"

Missy collapsed in an arm chair, her dress fluffing out in front of her.

"I guess because I want to take a chance on something scary. That's what I did coming out here to California. I'm on this path in life that's taking me places and Raj seems to fit into it somehow. And I don't want to half ass this. I've half assed most of my life and all it got me was a job at Fuddrucker's and a boyfriend that left me black and blue."

Missy eyed Sheldon as he digested her words. Explaining herself eased her nerves, grounding her in the moment. She had already accepted what she was about to commit to, but it took explaining it to someone like him to remind her. His own situation came to mind and she thought carefully about how to word her thinly veiled advice for her brother.

"Besides," she stood up from her seat, smoothing out her dress. "Grand gestures have their place in life. Even if it seems like everyone should just know how you feel about someone, including that person, sometimes you gotta shout it from the rooftops. Or hold a big party like this. Cause even if you know and they know, saying it out loud is romantic. And life is boring without a little romance and risk."

Sheldon nodded his head, "I suppose that is a concept shared by many."

"Okay," Missy straightened her back and offered her arm. "I'm ready."

Sheldon accepted her arm and led them forward only to be halted by Missy digging her heels in the carpet.

"I'm doing the right thing…. Right?"

Sheldon met her worried gaze and cocked his head to the side, "Well, you're not doing the wrong thing."

Missy snorted and shook her head. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

As the wedding march played, Sheldon kept his eyes trained to the front, stepping in tune. He noticed Penny's bright pink dress in his peripheral vision but he trained his eyes forward. Superstition was for the foolish, but Sheldon didn't want to jinx anything about this moment. Looking at Penny now would surely prove disastrous for his duties at present. Making their way to the minister, Sheldon briefly registered his words and handed Missy off. Stepping over to the other groomsmen, Sheldon stood in line behind Leonard thankful that expectations for him were now through.

Sheldon tried desperately to watch Raj and Missy. Penny's proximity to Missy's side made that impossible however. She entered his field of view and he surrendered to examining her. She looked the best he had ever seen. The pink dressed complimented her skin tone nicely, hugging her curves and leaving her lovely collar bone exposed. Her hair was swept up and there were bright flowers pinned to the blonde locks. Her eyes watered as she stared up at Missy and Raj now exchanging vows. Her breasts rose with her sharp intake of breath, a tear escaping from her lid. Her eyes flickered to him, and suddenly Sheldon realized he'd been caught staring at her very personal moment.

Sheldon darted his eyes back to Missy and Raj and noted the ring exchange. His heart pounded, and he bounced on his feet, replaying Penny's eyes meeting his from across the room. He was determined not to look her way again but his eyes traveled to her once again. This time Penny had her face pointed to the ground, wiping her eyes.

Raj and Missy began the seven steps, a hindu custom that they decided to share together in the wedding. Sheldon thought back to Missy's words to him in her dressing room about rituals and grand gestures. His sister smiled now, no longer the frightened girl he had found keeled over. Now she smiled widely, holding Raj's hand boldly committing to her decision. Missy was always the brave one. She'd put her mind to something and she'd stick to it. Sheldon drifted into a memory of being ten years old, frightened to death about crossing a stream by balancing on a thin, rotted log. Missy hopped right on, holding her arms out straight as she quickly padded her way to the other side. As she hopped down, she turned to face him, waving her arms and jumping up and down, rooting him across.

He always envied Missy's bravery. Where he faltered, she excelled, pulling him along without a hint of doubt that he couldn't keep up. Sheldon hadn't felt that connection to her in decades, but now, as she took her next turn and met his eyes, he could feel the bond between them.

His eyes involuntarily wandered to Penny again and this time he found her staring at him. She didn't seem shy about her stare, and she held it with him full of intention. In that moment, the rest of the room faded into space and Sheldon was exposed and raw under her gaze. Penny held her chin up high and then smiled gently at him, nodding her head in acknowledgement. He had the strong urge to run to her and pull her against his chest. An intense feeling consumed him, but when he tried to form the words, he only found amorphous sensations, devoid of a language he knew how to use.

Missy and Raj walked back down the aisle after finishing the steps, as everyone around them reached out, touching their arms and congratulating them. Sheldon caught Missy looking over her shoulder, scanning the crowd. When their eyes met, she grinned widely and threw him an excited wave and a thumbs up.

Sheldon always wanted to be as brave as his sister. And Penny with her sharp wit, country girl resourcefulness, and stubborn pride would need to see bravery.

* * *

Leonard sipped his drink, cringing at the bitterness.

"So…that was a nice ceremony," he fiddled with the straw in his glass, spinning around the ice cubes.

"I guess if you mean by "nice" that everyone remained relatively civil and no one left crying or screaming, then yes. It was nice," Sheldon kept his eyes trained on his sister and Raj as they shared their first dance.

"I don't think it was ever going to be that bad."

"Clearly you have never been to a Texas wedding with the Coopers."

"No, but now I've been to an LA wedding with them."

Sheldon broke his concentration and turned to Leonard's awkward, hopeful smile.

"Is there a specific reason we are exchanging platitudes this instance? Your behavior for the last few weeks has suggested that I've been demoted from friend to tolerated acquaintance."

Leonard winced, sipping his drink again.

"Um… okay, yeah I've been kind of stupid for a while," he waited a few moments, hoping Sheldon would fill in the gaps. "I want to come to a truce of sorts."

"Elaborate."

Leonard fixated on his drink again, nerves causing him to hesitate, "I guess some things have come to my attention about the Penny situation."

"Like?"

"Like, maybe I reacted rashly. And maybe my anger could have been misdirected."

"I see," Sheldon turned his eyes away from Leonard again. "What exactly do you propose that we do then?"

"I propose that we become friends again. And that we just erase what happened before and pretend like it never happened."

"Our fight or everything that came before that as well?"

Leonard shrugged his shoulders, "Your call."

Sheldon contemplated explaining to Leonard the conclusion he arrived to earlier during the ceremony. Despite the metaphorical extension of an olive branch, Sheldon couldn't trust Leonard enough to divulge all of his plans. Instead he proposed an exit strategy.

"We can reinstate the Friendship Clause of our Roommate Agreement, henceforth agreeing that we won't speak of our falling out again."

"Agreed." Leonard smiled brightly.

"I should also have you know that I'll be adding an amendment that states that when we choose to engage in sexual or romantic relationships, they are contractually covered under the privacy statement."

Leonard nodded his head slowly, "Yeah, you don't have to tell me, Sheldon. I know you're going to still see Penny."

Sheldon watched Leonard closely, noting the dejection and surrender to his words. He folded his hands behind his back, licking his lips in preparation. "I'm not entirely sure she will have me back. But, I suppose you should know that I still intend to try."

"Yeah, you should," Leonard's voice cracked. "She's a great girl."

"Indeed."

After a long silence, the roommates spoke up in unison, "I'm sorry."

"Oh," Leonard was flabbergasted by this rare moment. "Um, you were saying?"

"You can go first," Sheldon offered.

"Okay. Well, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the way I came between you two. I kind of got it in my head that Penny and I might have something one day and … well… I just didn't like seeing that you got her instead."

"Penny isn't a prize to win, Leonard," Sheldon scoffed. "But your apology is noted and accepted."

"What were you going to say?"

"Oh, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to leave you here alone with no one to dance with. My Meemaw is summoning me."

* * *

"Are you wearing crushed velvet?"

"Like?" Howard waggled his eyebrows. Penny grimaced and rolled her eyes.

"Hardly. I'm just surprised the moms didn't gut you for that."

"Groomsmen tuxes were the least of their concerns. They had religion and entrée choices to distract them."

Penny swayed to the music, searching around the room. She spotted him right away, being pulled on the dance floor by insatiable Meemaw.

"You miss him," Howard's voice brought Penny's attention back.

"Huh?"

"Why don't you just forgive him already? It's obvious you're just as looney for him as he is for you."

Penny flushed, thankful for the dark lighting in this room. "I don't think it's that obvious from his end."

"Oh please. The man has been practically reciting Shakespeare sonnets to you in the form of his meticulous and excruciatingly embarrassing field notes."

"Sheldon has read his notebook to you?"

"Read might not be the word for it. More like desperately tried to retrieve his notebook while we all took turns playing keep away and reading passages out loud."

Penny's feet stopped as she contemplated ways to make Howard's small stature even smaller. "What the hell? How can you guys be so mean to him?"

"Look, once it got to the really emotional parts, we stopped and gave him his notebook back. We didn't rib him too much. Most of us are rooting for you at this point."

"Really?" Penny spat. "Because just a few weeks ago you guys practically made him feel like the worst friend in the world."

Howard avoided her piercing stare and tried to get her to pick up the pace again. "Yeah, yeah. I know. I got a little caught up in Leonard's drama. But after we got back and I saw how hurt both of you were, I realized that we were being ridiculous."

"Damn right."

"But the point is that you're being ridiculous too."

Penny inhaled and exhaled deeply before continuing, "How?"

"Because you're punishing Sheldon too much. Look, I know what it is you want. You want Sheldon to sweep you off your feet, say all the right words, and make what happened between you two non-existent. But that's just not going to happen. For one, Sheldon is practically a baboon when it comes to expressing his emotions and making grand romantic gestures. This is the guy who didn't hate Titanic because there was enough room for Leo on the raft. He hated it because the night sky was astronomically inaccurate. The guy who thought Han saying to Leia "I know" was just a statement of fact. The guy who…"

"Okay, okay! Get to the point."

"The point is that Sheldon doesn't get romance, but he's trying. Really hard. And to my second point, you can't just love someone and then suddenly expect them to be a totally different person to win you back. You fell in love with Sheldon for him… for some reason."

Penny hardened her expression, trying her best to hold back her tears. "Who says I love Sheldon?"

"You do. Don't you?"

Penny dropped her gaze, sighing as she replied, "Yes."

"Well then give the guy some slack."

Penny shook her head and gathered her composure again. Staring directly into Howard's eyes she said, "For someone with horrible fashion sense, you can be pretty smart sometimes."

"Hey! I have excellent fashion! Do you want to know how much this suit cost me?"

* * *

"And I told your mother. I said, 'Mary, you gotta let Sheldon be. He's gonna make our family proud and really be somebody.'

"Thank you, Meemaw," Sheldon danced with his grandmother, letting her happily ramble.

"Oh, Raj's parents are just a hoot. The father, he told me that I don't look a day over 60. And I told him he's full of horseshit."

"Meemaw!"

"Oh, Shelly. You're a grown man now. A little swearing never hurt you anyhow."

The music changed to a faster paced song and Meemaw dropped her arms to her sides, "Alright, your Meemaw has had enough for one night. Walk me over to my seat."

Sheldon guided her back over to the table she shared with Mary who had been taken away to dance with Raj. Mary looked bored and Raj terrified.

"You're a good boy. Always have been. You're just like your grandpa. He was a great man."

Sheldon had often heard his Meemaw reminisce fondly of his grandfather, who he never had the privilege to meet. He'd heard several stories about the man, mostly how much he disapproved of his mother marrying his father and about how he was a good Samaritan. Sheldon couldn't really relate to any of these stories, but he could tell how happy it made Meemaw to remember them. From what it seemed, his grandmother and grandfather had a great, loving relationship up until the day he died. If there was anyone he felt comfortable asking advice from, it was his Meemaw. She was the only person whose opinion he usually took into consideration.

"Meemaw," Sheldon started, nervous about his question. "How did you know you wanted to marry grandpa?"

"Oh, that's an easy one. Now, first thing you need to know is your grandpa and I didn't always get along. Boy, he bugged the tar out of me most of the time. Everything he did seemed to rub me wrong. But then after a while, I realized that's because your grandpa was the only man who could keep up with me."

Not fully satisfied with her answer, Sheldon pressed. "But how did you precisely know that this would be the relationship that would last forever?"

"Well, I didn't know that. And look at me! It didn't last forever. Your grandpa left this world just before you were born and then I started a different chapter of my life. But I had many, many wonderful years with him. But you asked me, how I knew. And the only real answer to that is he felt like family. That's the thing in life, Shelly, is you gotta find your family. Sure you got your blood family, but you need to find your soul family. Those people who make you better and understand you inside and out. That's how you know. When you find that someone who knows the sun don't shine out your ass but they love you anyways."

Sheldon quickly analyzed his observations for the past few weeks and how confused and lonely he had been without Penny. The ache had been awfully similar to his feelings of isolation and bewilderment in college where he often fantasized himself a Star Fleet science officer lost in a time-warp galaxy, desperate to get back to earth.

"That Penny sure is a pretty thing," Meemaw remarked. Sheldon looked over to Penny who was trying desperately to keep up with Howard's arrhythmic movements. "She's smart too. In that worldly take no shit kind of way."

Sheldon swallowed down his fear, looking around to make sure no one else was within earshot. "Meemaw, how do you tell someone that you care about them? More than anyone else? Missy spoke earlier to me about grand gestures and how people need reassurance from the practice. But I'm not entirely certain what kind of gestures she meant."

"People just gotta know you love them, dear. Sometimes they need surprises and presents and other times they just need to hear you say the words, 'I love you'. Cause even if you show it in other ways people are fragile creatures. We break easily and it takes some hand holding to put us back together. And especially if you're the one to do the wronging, you gotta get out of your stubborn head and just grovel a bit."

Sheldon didn't really know if he knew how to grovel, but the rest of what she said sounded reasonable. It never crossed his mind that Penny wasn't aware of his feelings for her. These past few weeks, he tried to convey the best he could about exactly how he felt about her, delving deep into his mind to catalog and qualify the moments he missed her most. It didn't occur to him to say, 'I love you'. Mostly because he wasn't sure she'd return the feelings, but also because it seemed embarrassingly obvious to him that he did. Love almost didn't seem strong enough a word for what he felt, which was why he avoided using it. He loved Star Wars. He loved his mom's fried chicken. He loved beating Leonard in Halo and enjoying a burger on Tuesdays. Penny and her hold on his entire existence seemed enough to rival his need to explore the universe.

"Thank you, Meemaw. I'm sorry to do this to you, but I must excuse myself for the moment."

"No problem, honey. You have fun with your friends. And dance a little! Show everyone those moves you've got!"

The thump of the music slowed down and a piano ballad started to play. Sheldon swerved through the guests, heading for Howard and Penny. Penny had her hands held up in front of her, as Howard tried to put his arms around her.

"Sorry to interrupt," Sheldon started as he approached them. "But I'm inquiring to see if Penny would join me for this dance?"

Penny blinked up at him, her body frozen. She was a loss for words. Howard's head bobbed back and forth between them and sensing the dilemma, backed away.

"Sure Sheldon. Have at it. But I warn you, she's not a very good dancer," Howard marched away, searching the room for a lonely lady.

Penny didn't bother challenging Howard. Sheldon at this point had positioned himself in front of her, his arms extended in the waltz pose. Her stomach dropped and the spinning reflections of the disco ball had her brain pulsing.  _Snap out of it!_  She scolded and reached out to meet Sheldon's arms.

It was the first time they had touched since the night before the incident. His angular shoulder warmed her fingertips, and the palm of his hand pressed gently against hers. Transfixed by the energy coursing through her, she jolted forward when he pulled her close by the small of her back. Now Penny was inches away from Sheldon, her eyes level with the triangle of his throat.

"I hope you don't mind the improper closeness. It's not ballroom standards of a waltz, but I would like to speak with you without any busybodies listening."

His cool breath gave her goose bumps. Penny nodded mutely as her chest ballooned in nervous anticipation.

He led her a few paces to the song. Usually Penny would find herself resisting and leading, but Sheldon guided her with a surprising skill she didn't expect from him. She submitted to the motions, allowing herself to free her mind in anticipation of what he wanted to say.

"How are you enjoying the festivities?" He asked, a clear deflection.

Penny narrowed her eyes. "They're fine. Weddings are kind of all the same once you've been to one."

"Fair enough. I can't say I've been to many myself. But they all seem to be similar renditions of each other."

Silence eclipsed them for a few more paces. Penny's heart pounded wildly as she stepped. She really wanted Sheldon to get to the point.

"Your dress looks really nice," Sheldon remarked, stalling again.

"Thank you," she replied. "You also look nice."

"And the food was adequately –"

"Sheldon," Penny interrupted. "Is this really what you wanted to speak to me about? The wedding?"

"Well," Sheldon's confident demeanor deflated. He dropped his eyes away from her gaze. "No, not really. I just understand that small talk and pleasantries are the proper thing to engage in before getting into more serious and intimate discussions."

"I think we are beyond small talk."

"Point taken," Sheldon met her eyes again, hesitance holding his tongue. "I suppose I should just say what I need to say…"

Penny noticed that she had a tight grip on Sheldon's suit and she released her fingers. Her palm felt damp. She braced herself internally for whatever was coming.

"I've been analyzing our arrangement in fine detail, combing through all the events that led up to our ultimate break up and the aftermath since. I've been trying to convey to you how I feel about said issue with my journal entries, but there seems to be a disconnect of intent and execution which I've only really determined today after speaking with my relatives."

"You told your family about us?"

"More like I discussed my current problem in hypotheticals to gather the most unbiased advice."

"Okay."

"And, I've become aware that maybe I've been making assumptions about this experiment that are preventing me from collecting the results I've wanted. And it's been pointed out to me that those assumptions are likely false which is disconcerting."

"What is?"

"That you're under the impression that I don't love you."

Penny's feet stopped moving. Her arms shook as his words bounced around inside her head.

Sheldon waited for Penny to validate his statement, his stoic face lined with worry.

Returning to herself, Penny steadying herself, "It's not really an impression. It's more an open ended question that I still don't have an answer to."

"I see," Sheldon took another step, restarting their dance. "Well to answer your question, I've been operating under the assumption that love was a constant and that the variable in question was more what this meant for our relationship."

A flush bloomed from Penny's heart to her face, her cheeks glowing with overwhelming warmth. He almost said it. The pieces were all there yet he was still talking in his Sheldon-ese riddles. Her stubborn frustration returned and her words came tumbling out.

"How could I have known that, Sheldon? You never said it to me. You're not even really saying it now. You're speaking around it." Her voice cracked, tension and sadness squeezing her throat closed.

Sheldon now shook, adrenaline coursing through him at Penny's challenge. He thought back to the log and his sister's waving arms.

"You're right. I guess it's easier to assume these things are mutually understood than express them verbally."

Penny held his eye contact, not wanting to break for a moment. She held him there, captive in her stare, communicating a need that he could finally see.

"I love you, Penny," he said, exhaling all of the anticipatory fear he had been holding in.

Penny smiled. She let go of the heavy guard she'd been wearing around him for weeks, and she suddenly felt 10x lighter. "I love you too, Sheldon."

Sheldon's quivering stopped, and he seemed stunned by her reply. "You do?"

Breaking into a laugh, Penny exclaimed, "Of course!"

"Oh, well that also changes my assumptions."

"Sheldon," Penny shook her head. "Don't you see what we were doing? We've been assuming that both of us should just know our feelings for each other, while still being unsure of how the other felt."

"Huh," Sheldon wrinkled his brow. "That is a silly conundrum."

They both laughed together, the nervous pressure releasing between them. Penny moved closer to him, resting her head on his chest.

"I think we started this whole thing the wrong way."

"Explain?"

"Well, we began with a friends with benefits situation, but we never talked about what to do when our feelings went beyond that. Which clearly they did."

"Clearly," Cupping Penny's hand between their chests, Sheldon could feel both their hearts beating at once. "And reacting in isolation to Leonard's anger was not the best course of action. I guess going off my assumption about the ambiguity of your own feelings, I hadn't considered that you'd be as upset as you were."

"I was hiding a lot of what I felt. I just didn't want to get hurt again," Penny admitted.

Sheldon had a hard time reading beyond what people say and understanding what they actually mean, but this statement was clear to him. He had definitely hurt her in the way she wanted to avoid.

"I'm sorry, Penny," Sheldon breathed in the scent of her hair, the sweetness filling his chest. "I hurt you deeply."

"Thank you, Sheldon. It's in the past, now," Penny patted his chest. Her anger she held onto seemed a distant memory now. It was hard to imagine why she held onto it for so long. In many ways, it had been slipping from her bit by bit. It was only a matter of time and circumstance that she would have ended up forgiving him just like this. And the fact that he had said  _the_  words. Penny's whole body hummed to the memory.

They swayed back and forth, not speaking for several moments. Their feet shuffled in sync together, their movements small and understated. Penny pressed herself firmly against him, resting her weight on his frame. Sheldon held her up, thinking to himself about what was to come next, desperately wanting to avoid any of their mistakes in the future.

"Perhaps we should discuss what our new arrangement should be," he offered, after considering their circumstances for some time.

Pulling herself out of the moment, Penny lifted her head and looked into his vulnerable face. It seemed she wasn't the only one who had been holding up a guard.

"I don't want to go back to the way we were," Penny began. "It was fun but couldn't last for very long."

"Agreed. The sustainability of that relationship paradigm clearly no longer fits our needs."

"What do you suggest?"

"Well," Sheldon scanned the room. "Given the events of the day and the feelings we've admitted, I would have to say something more to the nature of commitment and transparency."

Penny wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face down to hers, "I think it sounds like a deal."

* * *

They returned to Sheldon's at a late hour, creeping into the dark apartment even though no one else was home.

"I can't believe Howard managed to get Bernadette to go home with him!" She exclaimed. She'd been revisiting the events of the reception with Sheldon on their return. "He just doesn't seem her type."

"I'm not sure Howard can really be anyone's type," Sheldon replied, placing his keys in the bowl and shouldering off his suit jacket.

"True," Penny shivered. "I just hope he's not a creep to her or I swear I will-

"-Go junior rodeo on his ass," Sheldon continued for her.

Penny grinned widely, "You said the ass word. You never swear."

Sheldon signed, loosening his tie, "I guess it's Meemaw's bad influence. She has always had a mouth on her."

Penny watch as Sheldon loosened his clothes. Neither had turned any lights on and he was illuminated by the street light through the window. He fiddled with his cufflinks, after opening up the neck of his shirt. Penny warmed as she thought of how rare it was for someone to see Sheldon quite so disheveled. Even his pajama robe was tight and modest. But she had seen him every kind of undone.

Sensing where this was all leading from the kindling deep inside her, Penny began removing the Penny Blossoms from her hair, clip by clip loosening her tight up do. She caught Sheldon watching her as she slipped off her heels, her bones whining from constriction as they relaxed on the floor.

Words weren't exchanged. Instead Sheldon approached her through their silent communication. It had been weeks since they kissed, and he conveyed his urgency as he reached for her. Grabbing the back of her head, he pressed his lips firmly to hers, his hold on her strong and demanding. Penny hung limp under his kiss, her body taking a few moments to catch up with his own intensity. But as his hand slid around her back to stabilize her, she caught up just fine. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Penny kissed him back, returning his passion with her own fire that had been burning and cracking since their reunion this evening.

Standing on her tip toes, Penny pushed herself forward, wanting to take over the dominance of the kiss. Sheldon slid his hand up her shoulder blade, cradling her close, accepting her fully and with fever. Kicking her leg up, she wrapped it around his waist, only holding herself up by the point of her toe and clinging to his hips. Sheldon responded in time, sliding his hand from her shoulder, down her curves, feeling her cheek as he supported her thigh.

After a few frantic moments, they pulled away from each other. Chests rising and falling, they nodded their heads and said together, "Bedroom."

They rushed through the hallway. Sheldon pushed open his door with severe force, the hinges squealing as they burst through. Returning to their previous embrace, Penny climbed up Sheldon, grasping his lips between her teeth as he pushed them over the edge of his bed, falling on top of her.

Penny worked the buttons of his shirt as he held himself above her, leaning down to kiss her cheeks, forehead, and eyes. Finding the soft tissue of her ear lobe, Sheldon sucked it into his mouth, earning a sweet noise from her, as she pulled his shirt down his shoulders. Helping her, he tossed the shirt to the floor and began untucking and removing his undershirt. Penny sat up to reach behind her dress, but once she got a grip of her zipper, Sheldon had already removed his belt and pants, standing in front of her in just his underwear, his erection strained against the cotton.

Penny froze, unable to take her eyes off of him, and failing miserably at removing her dress. Sheldon, with his new found confidence, slid his hands down Penny's shoulders and guided her to flip over. Now lying on her stomach, her legs dangling off the bed, Sheldon unzipped her dressed, his lips following the opening down her spine. Penny shivered at the feather light touches grazing her skin. Feeling Sheldon's hands slide forward, she lifted her body just enough so that he could slide the dress off of her body. Bare breasts, Penny relaxed on the bed beneath him, only in a pair of panties.

But she couldn't relax for long. Sheldon coaxed her over on her back, running his hands up and down her sides as he took in her figure. Reaching her hips, he pulled her down, grinding her onto his erection. She bucked her hips forward in return. Rubbing against his shaft, Penny ran her fingers down his abs, reaching the rim of his underwear. Their friction pulled down the band just enough to expose the head of his penis. She reached for him, squeezing the springy tissue in her palm as he groaned into her neck.

"Penny," he panted out. "I need to. Now."

Penny nodded her head as she pulled down the rest of his underwear, freeing him. He had followed her lead and slid her panties of, pulling her into a kiss. Skin to skin, Penny didn't know where to focus. His hardness slide against her folds, searching for her entrance. His chest pressed against her heaving breast, moving together like a tumbling wave with each breathy sigh. Their lips intertwined between nips and smothering kisses. Once the tight pleasure of him pushing inside of her came, Penny's focus shifted to the slide and slap of him inside her. She knew it wouldn't last long, but she didn't need it to. They'd have endless moments to touch and explore, discovering each other once again.

When he came, a relief washed over Penny, choking a sob from her throat. He collapsed on top of her, as she wiped away tears from her eyes. Instead of asking her what was wrong, Sheldon rolled to her side, his arms enveloping her in an embrace. She settled into the pocket he made for her, crying into his shoulder as he kissed the crown of her head.

Once the tears dried out, Penny and Sheldon talked into the night. Mostly about his family visiting and briefly about their new relationship. They did little to hide their reconciliation at the reception, and they knew that tomorrow people would have questions. Instead of worrying about the future, they fell asleep, facing each other, fingers intertwined between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN2: Thanks again to everyone who kept up with this story! I will be posting an epilogue in a few days that is not Sheldon/Penny focused. It's just something I always wanted to end the story with but totally not necessary to read if you're only here for Sheldon/Penny's story. I hope for those of you who saw the kiss this week caught the nod I gave to it in this story. Seriously, that kiss did a number on me and I couldn't be more grateful for the kick in the butt!


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! I expected a lot of people to not care about this update, but I was surprised to see that there are still some of you out there in the ether! The reviews I received were very kind.
> 
> I also just want to thank everyone again who read this story and supported me three years ago when this all started. Being in The Big Bang Theory fandom was such an amazing experience and I met a lot of great people when I was here. It also allowed me to explore my writing in a very different way. For that I'll have to thank Sheldon and Penny for inspiring me in so many ways.
> 
> This epilogue is sort of a way to tie up loose ends with Leonard. I know a lot of you saw Leonard as a "villain" in this story even though that was never my intention. :P I get the sentiment though given what has happened in canon the past 9 years. Everyone else in this story paired off and found someone, so I wanted to explore this idea of a "crackship" I've always had for Leonard. I hope you enjoy.

Epilogue

Leonard Hofstadter crossed his arms to chest with his feet planted firmly to the ground to prevent their nervous kicking. It had been so long since he'd dated anybody, and this woman was the most intimidating of any. That included Brittany Madden, sophomore year of high school, who, after several weeks of winking and twirling her hair for homework, humiliated him in front of the entire cafeteria when he presented his homemade-Valentine's Day card to her. Where Brittany lacked in intelligence and excelled in cruelty, Leonard was positive this woman could mop the floor with him intellectually and even give Sheldon a run for his money. The jury was still out on the cruelty.

Leonard inhaled deeply, the faint smell of tobacco smoke from a group of neighboring UCLA students. She had asked him to meet her on "a cozy bench in the shade as to prevent the risk of melanoma but out in the open so we can benefit from our much needed absorption of Vitamin D". She even suggested near the lecture hall where Leonard had given a talk on super solids. She had approached him afterwards armed with a healthy dose of grilling that only his mother could rival. At first he was put off by her prodding questions that seemed to resemble the superior attitude … but by the time they had reached his car, he found himself exchanging email addresses with her.

He wasn't sure what it was about this woman that captivated him so much. She definitely wasn't as pretty as Penny in that traditional-blonde bombshell sense (though Leonard found she radiated beauty in a way that was entirely her own). She always wore her brown hair flat over her shoulders, and he was pretty sure she got all of her fashion advice from octogenarians. Even though her field of research was neuroscience, she had an amazing grasp of physics, which he couldn't say the same for himself for her specialty. Though she did express how impressed she was with how much he seemed to absorb and understand (which he concluded must have been from all of the academic holidays he spent with his mother). She made him nervous with her intelligence and ambitious career moves. That same insecurity had him on high alert. But after long-winded debates about scientific controversies to which Leonard would ease the tension with a corny joke, the anxiety would disappear when she'd peer at him over her black-framed glasses and her stoic disposition would break into a shy smile. Everything made sense in those moments.

No one knows that he is technically "seeing" someone. They're all wrapped up in their own relationships: Howard is busy courting Bernadette, a budding microbiologist; Raj and Missy are still figuring out married life; and Sheldon and Penny are wrapped up in each other.

That topic was a sore spot for Leonard. He wasn't entirely sure what hurt more, his pride or his heart. Over the past few months he came to the realization that a lot of what he thought was between he and Penny, he had probably created in his head. Leonard knew he was the type to fixate on a woman, and he lived in a fantasy world most of the time from his lack of actual relationship experience. When he first saw Penny unpacking her boxes across the hall, his entire world shifted. He wanted to be the man for her, and he knew he was willing to try anything to be that. But, like all of the other times he tried to get a woman who was out of his league, he crashed and burned. Instead of a 6 ft tall, bulky football player stealing her attention, his 6'2, lanky, pale roommate who was probably the biggest social pariah Leonard had ever encountered seemed to be everything Penny wanted. He never saw it coming. Not only because of Sheldon's self-proclaimed asexuality, but anytime he would see Sheldon and Penny interact, they were always picking fights with each other and shooting glares when the others back was turned. If anything, Leonard always worried Sheldon was ruining his chances with Penny by scaring her away, as he did with most people. Leonard never would have guessed that the genius was successfully wooing Penny for himself.

Leonard knew that wasn't entirely true as well. Despite his complete obtuseness of how to operate in this world, there wasn't a malicious bone in Sheldon's body. When he tried to seek revenge or cause some kind of emotional harm to his bullies, he crashed and burned every time. It was one of the reasons Leonard liked Sheldon. He knew that Sheldon would never intentionally stab him in the back, though this recent turn of events really challenged that hypothesis. If it wasn't for Sheldon's actions after that fate-filled night he discovered what had been going on behind his back, he would have packed his bags and thrown their seven year friendship away. There was still a lot of rebuilding that needed to occur, but they were getting there.

How Sheldon and Penny came to be a in hindsight, Leonard probably didn't want to know.

Leonard's thoughts were broken by the sudden appearance of his date, standing above him with an unflattering sweater and a messenger bag grasped tightly to her waist.

"Good afternoon, Leonard."

"Amy!" Leonard felt his face break into a smile.

Amy Farrah Fowler took her seat next to Leonard, running her eyes over the campus.

"This is a satisfactory spot you have chosen for our romantic afternoon."

A blush spread on Leonard's cheeks, "I thought that you'd appreciate the isosceles triangle that this tree makes with the building and the women's bathroom."

Amy smiled, "Oh, you do know how I love isosceles triangles and convenient restroom locations."

After a few silent moments, Amy scooted over and laced her fingers with Leonard's, their open palms meeting with a welcoming press.

"So how was your day?" Leonard asked.

"Satisfactory. I submitted my grant for the new nicotine addiction study, and I just got a shipment of fresh cadaver brains from one of my collaborators."

"Great!" Leonard cheekily grinned, hoping she couldn't see his face turn a light shade of green.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, enjoying the beautiful, sunny California afternoon. What Leonard enjoyed the most about spending time with Amy is he didn't feel the need to entertain her or fill moments like these with awkward attempts at conversation. Leonard learned quickly on their first date together that Amy wasn't one for banal chit chat. Amy tended to be the one who dominated their conversations, asking prying personal questions and postulating different scientific inquiries. While again, her bluntness and lack of tact put Leonard off at first, as he got to know her, he began to see that he and Amy were a lot alike. Neither of them were destined to be "normal" in any capacity. Leonard was born into academia and raised to excel in all things but operating successfully through adolescence. And that pretty much set him up for life as being labeled a "nerd". Amy seemed to suffer from something similar to Sheldon: an innate and intense intellect that warded off others. But where Sheldon remained resilient because of apathy towards how he fit into society, Amy appeared hurt and bothered by her social ostracism. Their conversations were always peppered with stories of cruel practical jokes played on her by her female peers and tidbits featuring her in some kind of lonely, desperate situation, trying to replicate the intimacy of friendship. Leonard couldn't relate to her loneliness on that front because he was fortunate enough to have a group of friends that accepted him for just the way he is (which is really what directed him towards forgiving Sheldon – though Amy probably would never know how she saved their friendship), but he also experienced an intense longing for acceptance and intimacy from his own family.

"Leonard," her voice caught him off guard. There was a softness and vulnerability to the way she called his name that he hadn't heard from her before. He responded in kind by tilting his head to give her his full attention, giving her fingers a tight squeeze of encouragement.

"Yes?"

"What are we?"

Leonard furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

Amy exhaled a tired sigh, "There is a microbiology grad student who I sometimes converse with in line in our building's coffee bar. It seems we both are on the same schedule for our afternoon fixes. I mentioned to her today that I would be seeing you, and she asked me if you were my boyfriend. I didn't have an answer."

Leonard nodded his head. It was something that had also been on his mind.

"Is that something you would want? For us to be a couple?"

Amy frowned slightly as she considered it. "It's something I gave up on a long time ago, much to my mother's dismay. I've had an agreement with her for years now that I would go on one date a year and she would allow me to use her George Foreman grill that seals in the flavor but none of the fat. Needless to say, she has been off my back since we've been seeing each other." She turned her eyes towards Leonard, "But yes, it's really the only thing I've always wanted. A real boyfriend. I've never had one before."

Leonard leaned back into the bench, holding Amy's awaiting gaze. "Amy Farrah Fowler," he turned the hand he was holding to signal his proposition. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Her cheeks colored beneath the black rims of her glasses, "Yes."

Leonard had been waiting for the perfect moment to kiss her since he figured out his feelings for this strange and wonderful woman. But nothing seemed right until right now.

And he did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN2: And that's the end! It feels good to have this story finally be complete. And for any future readers of this story, I hope that you enjoyed the ride from start to finish. :)


End file.
